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WWE Superstars - October 4, 2012

by Scrooge McSuck

- Last week on Superstars, the Island of Misfist Toys sent a message to all the undercard jobbers by trashing Yoshi Tatsu, Ted Dibiase continues his winning streak (2!) by going over some guy who's not allowed to be called "Hennig", Layla defeated Eve in a Non-Title Match, and in the main event, the PrimeTime Players defeated the Uso's for the 45th time in the year 2012.

- As usual, we've got Josh Mathews, Scott Stanford, and Matt Striker calling the action, depending on the rotation or a roll of dice or outcome from Magic: The Gathering. Who knows, who cares. First match!

Tyson Kidd vs. Wade Barrett:

I don't know WWE just doesn't strap a rocket to Barrett's ass and push him hard. They clearly need more main event level performers. At least Kidd gets to job to a talented former Nexus member, unlike David Otunga a few weeks back. Kidd quickly goes for a waistlock, but Barrett fights him off with elbows. Barrett brings him down to the canvas and goes to work on the left arm. Kidd uses the ropes to counter, and a victory roll gets two. Kidd with a kick to the midsection, but Barrett meets him at the ropes, and sends him to the floor following a clothesline. Kidd ducks under a clothesline, then connects with a pair of kicks to the chest. Back inside, a sunset flip is countered with a roundhouse to the back of the head. Barrett with a series of knees into the chest, followed by a surfboard in the ropes. Barrett with a charging boot, knocking Kidd to the floor. Back inside, Barrett quickly covers for two, then hooks a rear chinlock. Whip to the corner, Kidd avoids a charge, then charges into a reverse crescent kick. Barrett with a pump-handle slam, but it only gets two. Barrett continues to pummel the midsection and slingshots Kidd off the top rope into a back breaker for a two count. Whip to the corner, Barrett runs into a boot. Kidd kicks away at the legs of Barrett, and takes Barrett down with a dropkick to the face. He slingshots over the ropes with a leg drop to the back of the head, then springboards back in with an elbow drop for two. Kidd to the top, but Barrett throws him off. He connects with a short-arm forearm... and that gets three at 6:00. Interesting finisher. Solid squash match. Barrett was made to look superior, as he should've been, but Kidd was still allowed some plucky-underdog offense and opprotunities.

Michael McGillicutty vs. David Otunga:

I don't really care much for Otunga, so I'm hoping for something short. It's a battle of former Tag Team Champions, according to Scott Stanford. Thanks for the tidbit, I didn't know about that. Lockup into the ropes, and Otunga pounds away. Whip to the ropes, and McGillicutty comes bouncing back with a dropkick, then sends Otunga to the floor following a clothesline. Otunga sidesteps a baseball slide, but McGillicutty lays into him with chops instead. Otunga blocks a whip to the steps, and instead plants McGillicutty with a slam. Back inside, Otunga covers for two. Otunga... very... slowly... pounds the back of McGillicutty. Back suplex is countered, but Otunga takes McGillicutty down with a diving shoulder tackle. Whip to the corner, McGillicutty nails him coming with a forearm, but charges into a clothesline. Otunga with a snap suplex for two, then continues working the back. McGillicutty counters a slam and connects with a clothesline to the back of the head. Whip to the ropes, and he connects with a charging elbow. Scoop slam and diving forearm gets a two count. Back suplex for another two count. He goes for a neck breaker, but Otunga hooks the ropes, and the spinebuster finishes at 5:03. Feh. It started off fine, then quickly went down to the boring territories. Wrong guy getting pushed, that's all I'm going to say.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tensai:

Matt Striker has replaced Stanford for commentary, just to let everyone know. So, what happened to that big push for Tensai? Has Tatsu been on Smackdown or Raw in the last year? Does anyone care about any of these questions? Tensai knocks him down with a right and drops a pair of elbows. Nice of Tatsu to just take his beating without much of an effort to fight back. We get a really boring game of cat-and-mouse until Tensai blocks a baseball slide and hits the weakest kick to the side of the head. Back in the ring, Tatsu with some really loose offense. He takes Tensai down with an enziguri, then connects with what would generously be called a shining wizard for a two count. Tensai with the Baldo Bomb, followed by the senton, and it's all over at 2:05. Squash matches are fun, except when it's Prince Albert. No one cared in 2000, and no one cares now. Tensai proceeds to cuts a really lame promo in what I'm assuming is Japanese, then poses like he's going to poop in he middle of the ring. Thank you, lovely. Next, please.

- Raw Rebound: General Manager A.J. Lee stinks and is put on probation for her poor work performance. Shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments are awesome. Honestly, I REALLY hope they take her off television or any role in general that gives her too much television time. I feel embarassed watching Raw and this person comes out, turning everything around her into a farce. We ended up with a main event of Team Hell No (lame name, I liked Team Friendship, more) vs. Ziggler and CM Punk... with more A.J., as special referee. Ziggler ditched, and Kane pinned Punk following the chokeslam. I should note the match didn't start until 10:55 ET, and we had a commercial break, too. Poor planning of their time. On a THREE HOUR SHOW..

The Uso's vs. The Rhode Scholars:
(Jimmy & Jey Uso vs. Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes)

I really dislike the Usos, but I really like Sandow and Rhodes. Go figure. This is a rematch from the #1 Contender's Tournament currently underway, where Sandow and Rhodes were victorious. Does anyone think Rhodes and Sandow aren't winning this "tournament"? Jey and Sandow fight over a hammerlock. Jey no-sells being rammed to the buckle, and sends Sandow to the floor for a breather. I hate excessive playing to the crowd, and the Uso's fit that criteria way too much. Rhodes and Jimmy tag in, with Jimmy controlling with punching. Whip to the ropes, and the Uso's with a double elbow drop for two. Rhodes takes Jimmy to his corner, and Sandow comes in with stompin'. Rhodes with a front suplex for a two count. Lots of quick tags from the heels, but not much going on. Jet gets a false hot tag, but after a short-offensive spurt, the heels take a breather.

We return from commercial, with Sandow working a headlock on Jey. Whip to the ropes, and Jey connects with a diving forearm. Rhodes tags in, and quickly dumps Jey to the floor. Back inside, Rhodes with some mudhole stomping. Sandow with the Russian leg sweep, followed by an elbow drop for two. Another cover, another two count. Sandow with a snapmare, and Rhodes comes in with a kick to the chest for another two count. Whip to the corner, Sandow runs into an elbow, but manages to hold Jey from making the tag. Rhodes with a front slam, then settles into a chinlock. Sandow tags in, and misses a knee drop. Sandow hooks the ankle and drags him back from making the tag, and Rhodes continus this boring beatdown. Rhodes with a snapmare and seated full nelson. Rhodes to the top, and a moonsault misses... what the fuck was he trying to do?! Jimmy gets the hot tag, blah blah blah... Jimmy with a Samoan drop, followed by a butt crusher in the corner for two. Things get out of hand, as usual. Sandow clips the knee of Jimmy, and the neck breaker finishes him off at 10:55. Ugh... too long. The Uso's suck, but Sandow and Rhodes weren't really showing off their working boots either, here. How many more matches of the Uso's will I endure before I snap? Only time will tell.

Final Thoughts: Not too much to see here this week. The main event was a incredibly lack-luster tag team match featuring the black-hole of a team known as the Uso's, Tensai squashed someone, but no one has cared about him since ever. David Otunga continues to prove why he's one of the worst workers currently on the WWE roster, and that leaves Barrett vs. Tyson Kidd as the best match on the show, an extended squash match. Pass on it if you haven't watched yet, maybe next week will offer something better.

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