- Welcome to Week 2 in my quest to once again get into the WWE product. For those who care about meaningless B-Show's, last week on Superstars, Damien Sandow easily defeated Yoshi Tatsu, Alex Riley made Drew McIntyre look like a chump, and in the main event, Justin Gabriel took Cody Rhodes to the limit before coming to the Cross Rhodes. All in all, not a bad show, so let's see what we have to work with this week. Note: I did my damn best not to look up spoilers, that way I don't ruin any potential "fun" I have in watching the show.
Before we get to the action, a comment on WWE Saturday Morning Slam. Last week I questioned just what the hell it was, and it turns out to be along the lines of Mania/Livewire, where it's a lot of recap packages and flashback stuff. You know, cheap throw together. The only fresh match aired was Kofi Kingston vs. Heath Slater, which was highlighted by Santino Marella showing up with the U.S. Title, despite LOSING it about two weeks ago. Odd continuity mistake for WWE, even for a show aimed at a younger, saturday morning audience. I was thinking of adding the fresh SMS matches to my Superstars recaps, but then I figure I'd be overloading myself, even if it's just by 15-minutes.
Another side note, since it wasn't mentioned on this episode of Superstars: There were segments on Raw, with Daniel Bryan attending Anger Management. Also at the meeting, none other than Kane. Typically, these segments are whatever and totally forgetable, but the doctor asks Kane to explain the root of his anger, dating back to his childhood. Daniel Bryan: This is a bad idea. Very calmly, and in a straight tone, Kane replies...
"I grew up locked in a basement, suffering severe psychological and emotional scarring when my brother set my parents on fire. From there, I sifted around among a series of mental Institutions, until I was grown, at which point I buried my brother alive. Twice. Since then, I've set a couple of people on fire, and abdocted various co-workers. Oh, and I once electrocuted a mans testicles. Years ago, I had a girlfriend named Katie. But... lets just say that didn't turn out so well. My real father is a guy named Paul Bearer, who I recently trapped in a meat locker. I've been married, divorced. Broke up my ex-wife's wedding and tombstoned the priest. And for reasons never quite explained, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose."
- Josh Mathews and Matt Striker are calling the action, unless otherwise noted. They waste no time hyping WWE Night Of Champions, one of many PPV's.
- We revisit the Perfect Storm. Brock Lesnar managed to survive two Pedigrees and broke Triple H's arm with the Kimora, again. This past week on Monday Night Raw, Triple H at least has the decency to sell the broken arm for longer than an hour, this time. He teases retirement, but we all know he's coming back to get his revenge of Lesnar. If he can't be the Cerebral Assassin, then he can't come back, because it means he's finished. Thankfully, WWE cut out his line about not wanting to be the guy who comes out for nostalgia pops. I'm sorry, but I can't buy Triple H's "farewell" speech, because, honestly, I don't like him that much. I don't loath him, like from that terrible stretch in 2002-03, but I don't have this deep longing for watching him on a regular basis, in any capacity.
We return with Epico unwisely trying to headbutt Jey. Epico and Primo turn the tides by tossing Jey to the floor. Back inside, and Primo with a somersault splash. He grabs a rear chinlock, because this crowd couldn't care any less as it is. Primo cuts off a tag with a drop toe hold, and Epico tags in with some very basic stuff. Epico with a trio of back suplex, and you have to think it would take more from him to do that than it's worth. It only gets two, so we go back to the chinlock. Jey manages to blow a sunset flip, and we get the 78th shot of Rosa trying to be sexy for the camera. This turkey is dying a slow, painful death. Primo misses something in the corner, trapping himself in a tree of woe, but Epico frees him to get the tag. Jimmy gets the hot tag and unloads with chops. Whip to the ropes, and he takes Epico down with a Samoan drop. He charges to the corner with a butt splash for a two count. Primo and Jey go at it on the floor, while Jimmy lays out Epico with a crescent kick. Jimmy to the top rope, and the splash connects, but Rosa distracts the referee, allowing Primo to hit the Backstabber (reverse Code-Breaker), and Epico covers for three at 10:15. Match was boring as shit, and Rosa Mendes' attention whore antics got really tiresome about three-minutes in. I guarante these two teams willface again in the next three weeks.
- Last week on Monday Night Raw... we follow up the mini-angle between Jerry Lawler and WWE Champion CM Punk. Lawler wants an apology for the cheap shot Punk gave him the week before. Punk says he's sorry is that all it takes to get into the Hall of Fame is to beat a bunch of nobodies in Memphis and acting as a juvenile in his entire WWE career. Punk keeps going lower and lower, baiting Lawler into a match, later in the show. WWE Universe picks Steel Cage for it. Punk wins it without too much struggles, but things aren't all roses, as G.M. Stephanie McMahon... sorry, A.J. Lee, tells Punk he'll defend against John Cena at Night of Champions. Punk snaps, brings some tools into the ring, and beats the piss out of Lawler, demanding him to say he's the best in the world. Lawler says no, and takes the beating like a man, until Cena makes the (eventual) save by chasing Punk off. I have to admit, this is some great old-school style booking.
Final Thoughts: Not quite as good, wrestling wise, as last week. The singles matches between Ryback/Curtis and Riley/Mahal were both decent in their own ways, but damn was that Tag Match a black hole sucking the life out of everything around it. I hate to say that the best part of the show was the Raw Rebound, but it was. The stuff between CM Punk and Jerry Lawler on Raw, in recapped form, was fantastic, much-see wrestling, while everything first run was so-so in comparison. Decent show overall, but I will not be looking forward to watching any more between the Usos, Epico, and Primo.