WWE Smackdown- October 24, 2008
-This show is dedicated to Leah Maivia.
-They are airing from Laredo, Texas. Our hosts for the evening are Jim Ross and Tazz. Tonight we get the first Undertaker/Triple H match in quite a few years.
-WWE Champion Triple H makes his way to the ring. He takes a microphone and makes fun of Vickie Guerrero. He would fear that she’d roll her way out, but there’s a Twinkie trunk out back and she’s going nuts. He says that he needs to destroy The Undertaker tonight to make sure he makes it to Cyber Sunday. Jeff Hardy bounces down to the ring to get his two cents in. Hardy predicts that the fans will vote for him to challenge at Cyber Sunday and that he will finally win the title. Vladimir Kozlov shows up on the stage. He cuts a promo that would make Khali blush. Triple H picks on Kozlov’s accent and pedigrees Hardy to send a message. Okay opening segment, but nothing we haven’t seen countless times.
Michelle McCool and Maria vs. Maryse and Natalya
Hurricane Helms appears on the screen long enough to say “giggity” and disappears. Maryse and Michelle kick the match off exchanging arm work. Michelle fends off Natalya, allowing Maryse to clothesline and get the upper hand. Natalya tags and aggressively smashes Michelle. Maryse tags and cuts off Michelle’s tag. The match is interrupted by Jesse and Festus coming out to Spanish music. Festus is wearing a Mariachi costume and offers Maria a flower. With Maria distracted, she ignores Michelle’s plea for a tag and she’s pinned at 2:13. Nothing match, just an excuse to build up heat between Maria and Michelle, DUD.
Winners: Maryse and Natalya
-Festus hears the bell ring for the end of the match and he goes into a rage. He chases the Spaniards from the building.
-Did you know: WWE Magazine sells more copies than Sports Illustrated and ESPN Magazine combined on newsstands? Really? Um, source please?
Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely vs. Carlito and Primo Colon
The Colon’s WWE Tag Team titles aren’t on the line. Chavo kicks the match off against Carlito and targets the head. Carlito strikes back with a drop-kick and tags Primo. The Colons double team Chavo, who escapes into the ropes. Chavo tags Bam by slapping his chest. Neely is too slow for Primo at first, but connects with a clothesline. Bam mouths “See, I told you I could do it” to Chavo, but then finds himself double teamed by the Colons. Chavo tries to get involved, but is fought off. Neely eats some more double team moves but finally manages to corner Primo and tag a fired up Chavo. Primo elbows off Chavo and hits Bam with a double axe handle off the ropes. Chavo takes down Bam and gets a near fall. Guerrero orders Neely into the match, who aggressively stomps the life out of Primo. Neely accidentally knocks Chavo to the floor and Carlito gets a hot tag. Carlito blocks Bam and gets a Neckbreaker for a near fall, broken by Chavo. Bam and Chavo argue, which leads to Chavo slapping across the face. The distraction leads to Carlito nailing the backstabber on Bam for the win at 4:45. The Colons look really good as a team, but the whole purpose of this match was to stir dissension between Chavo and Bam, *¼.
Winners: Carlito and Primo Colon
-Hurricane Helms appears on the screen again, sarcastically pleading for Chavo and Bam not to break up.
-Kizarny is at a carnival, which appears to be his element. He’s coming soon.
-Celebrities gush over John Cena. He will be returning soon.
-Backstage, Michelle demands Maria to explain herself for how their match went down. Maria doesn’t want to talk since she’s more worried about her friend, Festus. They pass by Primo Colon, who’s flirting with Brie Bella. Carlito interrupts and tries working his own charm on the girl. Brie has a photo shoot, so she wanders off. The Colons argue over who chased her away. The Spaniards zoom by them with Festus on their tails, and Maria trails behind. Really strange segment, but amusing. I think it’s funny that the divas are portrayed to just hang out backstage, flirting with wrestlers, getting their pictures taken, and sometimes wrestling as if it was something they do for fun.
-Two weeks ago, R-Truth met Funaki and found out that his middle name is “Kung.” So that makes him Kung Funaki. Get it?
R-Truth and Kung Funaki vs. Shelton Benjamin and MVP
Truth’s rapping entrance continues to be grating to my senses, but hey, it’s getting over, so who am I to complain? I can’t say that I’m impressed by his continuing efforts to get “What’s up” over as a catchphrase. Funaki is now dressing like a stereotypical kung fu fighter, which is just fabulous. Hurricane Helms appears again during MVP’s entrance and reminds us that MVP doesn’t hold any title.
MVP starts the match for his team and insists on fighting Funaki. Funaki takes MVP down and uses some martial arts strikes and an armdrag. Tired of getting his ass kicked, MVP tags in Benjamin. Funaki is showing more confidence than usual and fights off Benjamin, and tags Truth. Benjamin corners Truth and tags MVP, who pummels Truth into the corner. Truth runs into an overhead belly to belly suplex. MVP gets a near fall but Truth speeds things up and torpedoes through the air into MVP. Funaki tags and goes high risk, hitting a flying strike. Funaki strikes the life out of MVP and Benjamin has to break up the cover. Benjamin and Truth tumble to the floor. Funaki hit’s a martial arts kick on MVP and gets the win at 3:57! Funaki cleanly beats MVP! Either they are really interested in pushing Funaki or the WWE is still mad at MVP for mouthing off to drug testers. Either way, this was fun stuff, *½.
Winners: R-Truth and Kung Funaki
-Backstage, the Colons are cruising for diva tail. Primo sneaks up on Brie Bella, who acts all offended and storms off. The run into The Great Khali and Ranjin. Khali says the Colons have no game. Ouch.
-It’s time for the Great Khali’s Kiss-cam! I love how ridiculous and strange these segments are. Ranjin has a bag of letters, which he dumps in the ring. Khali mumbles into the microphone, and Ranjin translates that Khali has received hundreds of letters from women wondering what it would be like to kiss Khali in the ring. Ranjin reads one of the letters, written by Helga from Germany, who used to have a crush on John Cena but now wants Khali. Another letter worships Khali’s physique, with the twist being that it was written by a guy named Bruce. Khali takes offense to this and crumples the letter. Poor Bruce. Now it’s time to select a women from the audience for Khali to sexually assault. They choose a really young looking woman (who is acting awkward enough to suggest that she might not be a plant). Ranjin then chooses another woman, this time a much larger lady. Both are wearing white shirts and jeans, so now I’m thinking “plants” again. Ranjin blocks Khali from kissing the hot girl and pressures him into kissing the overweight girl. After giving it some thought, Khali kisses the life out of the big girl. Well, this certainly walked the fine line between funny and tasteless, but if it keeps Khali from wrestling then it’s okay with me.
-Kizarny is still hanging out at the carnival (Editor's Note: Rowe, it was pre-recorded. He really hasn't been at the carnival all-show-long :) )
-Don’t forget to order Cyber Sunday and pay a dollar per text to vote for the match participants and stipulations.
-The Undertaker has words for Big Show and Vickie Guerrero. He has sealed their fates and will fulfill their destinies. But tonight, he and Triple H will walk into the darkness.
-Did you know that Wrestlemania is more popular than everything?
The Brian Kendrick (with Ezekiel Jackson) vs. Super Crazy
Super Crazy is aggressive in the early going. Crazy connects with a tirt-a-whirl backbreaker and stomps the life out of Kendrick. Kendrick fights back with a cheap shot and nails Sliced Bread #2 (now called The Kendrick) for the win at 1:08. Well, that was a nothing match, DUD.
Winner: The Brian Kendrick.
-After the match, Ezekiel smashes Super Crazy for good measure.
The Undertaker vs. Triple H
Triple H’s WWE title is not on the line. I could be mistaken, but I think this is the first televised singles match between Taker and HHH since the fall of 2002. I’m hoping they will wipe out the bad taste their King of the Ring 2002 match left in my mouth, as both men have been putting on better matches since that dismal year. The match is methodical in the early going, but Taker gets annoyed and unleashes a series of strikes in the corner. Early cover attempt by Taker gets 2. Undertaker goes to work on the arm. HHH blocks “old school” and avoids contact with a charging Undertaker, sending him leg first into the turnbuckle. HHH chop-blocks the back of Taker’s knee, establishing the leg as his target. They take each other down with clotheslines and are already selling exhaustion. They trade shots and take turns knocking each other off their feet. Snake eyes by Undertaker, by Triple H answers with a high knee shot. Cover by Triple H gets 2. Face buster by Triple H, but the pedigree is countered with a catapult into the corner. Cover by Taker gets 2.5. Triple H blocks “old school” by crotching Taker on the top rope. HHH connects with the superplex! Cover by HHH gets 2. HHH clotheslines Taker to the floor, but gets dragged out for a brawl. Taker sends HHH crashing into the steel steps. Undertaker maintains control with the apron leg drop. Cover by Taker gets 2. Taker signals the end and attempts the last ride, but Triple H counters with a neck breaker. Cover by HHH gets 2. Taker connects with a flying shoulder block, but can’t get the pinfall. Taker attempts the choke slam, but it’s blocked. Spinebuster by Triple H gets a two count. They go through a series of finisher counters before Triple H mounts the turnbuckle for punches. Taker counters with the Last Ride and they are both down. The Big Show makes his way to the ring and attacks Undertaker, bringing on the disqualification at 13:52. Worthy match from two veterans, who have both been working really hard lately to remind us why they deserve their spots, ***.
Winner by DQ: The Undertaker
-After the match, Big Show continues to attack Undertaker. Triple H attempts the save with a steel chair but gets choke slammed for his troubles. Big Show leaves both men laid out in the ring and heads to the back.
-After a commercial break, Triple H is still down, struggling to get to his feet. Jim Ross and Tazz speculate over what kind of shape HHH will be in for Cyber Sunday. Vladimir Kozlov comes to the ring with evil intentions. Triple H tries to fight back, but Kozlov repeatedly head butts him to the mat. Kozlov hits his shitty inverted DDT finisher and stands over his prey to a chorus of boos.
Final Thoughts: I’m getting really tired of this evil monster heel formula where the heel beats up a good guy, stands over him, and glares at the crowd in a mock confused manner. And that’s how the show ended, as they clearly want Kozlov to be voted into Cyber Sunday in one way or another. The main event was good, as Undertaker and Triple H brought their working boots and were wrestling as if they had something still to prove. The rest of the show was nothing to brag about, though it was amusing to see MVP buried at the hands of Funaki.
Thumbs in the middle.