WWF Smackdown - October 31, 2014
by Erick Von Erich
Time for some good ol' cheesy Halloween HavoK wrestling. This episode takes us back to 2014, and Houston, Texas, when the WWE Network was still very much a thing. In fact, to open the show, we get a Very Special Video Package from Vince McMahon with a Big Announcement: WWE Network is FREE to new suscribers, the entire month of November. Vince then leads the audience in an awkward "YES" chant, because WWE... and people liked doing that. So yeah, this hasn't aged well and McMahon leading a crowd in a YES chant is a rather cringy scene, nowadays. Announcers Michael Cole and Tom Phillips do their best to act dumbfounded and surprised.
Also spotted in the crowd shots: a guy in a BO-LIEVE shirt and someone decked out in Scott Steiner chainmail. Heh.
Divas Halloween Costume Battle Royal
Oh golly. The announcers tell us all what each participant is alledgedly dressed up as; which takes longer than the match. We have: Paige as Summer Rae, Natalya as the Queen of Harts (good dad-joke), Naomi as a paratrooper, Summer Rae going 2004 retro as a "Schoolgirl nerd", Layla as a mime/clown (that somehow looks more like Minnie Mouse), Emma as Tarzan (with shirt), Rosa Mendes as a zombie nurse, Alicia Fox as a firefighter, Cameron as a police officer, and Nikki Bella as a black cat. Most costumes look like they were purchased at a Spirit Halloween Store. Reigning Divas Champ, AJ Lee, is a guest commentator and runs down most of the participants. AJ is simply wearing a white tank top that says "BOO". But first--- it was not that long ago, when Nikki Bella dispatched her "personal assisstant" Brie Bella to drive to San Antonio to pick up her Louis Vuitton handbag. In the vernacular of wrestling, nobody is ever someone's "personal assistant" willingly. Brie was also forced to dress up as her husband, Daniel Bryan. It's supposed to be humiliating, but didn't Brie dress up as Daniel Bryan on purpose, in future years? Regardless, Brie will not be a part of this battle royal, tonight.Match starts and Rosa Mendes is eliminated, almost immediately, by a head-scissors from Naomi and then kicked out to the floor beneath the bottom rop. Yeah, no "over the top rope" stipluation, just "hit the floor"; which was the usual Divas Battle Royal rule from about 2001 to 2015. Natalya then easily dumps Summer Rae. Emma hooks her version of the tarantula on Cameron; then Alicia Fox is over to knock Emma out. A "comedy spot" is next, as Layla pulls the bra padding out of Paige's costume. Paige was supposed to be Summer Rae...who wasn't known for being busty...and Paige eventually had some, uhhh, "work" done, later on. Layla is then easily tossed out by Paige. Naomi and Natalya do a double-team lift to dump Naomi, then Natalya immediately dumps Naomi, as well. Nikki Bella hits a spinebuster on Paige and pushes her out. On the other side of the ring, Alicia hits a "spear" on Natalya and they both tumble out through the ropes; giving the win to Nikki Bella at about 3 minutes. Nikki hops out and does a ringside staredown with AJ Lee. Egads...I'd forgotten how weak the "Divas" matches were.
The Authority (Seth Rollins, Kane, Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble) makes their way to the ring for a SEGMENT. Kane (shirtless and in slacks) leads things off by taking the mic and wishing everyone a happy Halloween. He says he enjoys this time of year, because it's all about scaring kids and fake blood...or is it all really fake? Oooo. Deep! He works it all into an awkward promo for Survivor Series, then plugs tonight's main event of Dean Ambrose vs. Cesaro in a "Trick or Street Fight Match". Rollins takes over to incite the crowd with his lame delivery. Kane then calls out Dolph Ziggler... who is introduced as "his opponent". Oh, so I guess this wasn't a SEGMENT, just a long delay to a match...
Dolph Ziggler vs. "Corporate" Kane (w/Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury)
Ziggler is the reigning Intercontinental Champion, but this is non-title. The storyline is that Ziggler might be joining Team (John) Cena to take on Team Authority at the Survivor Series. I always like when the Survivor Series teams have mild feuds, leading up to the event. Ziggler weaves and bobs, to start, until Kane catches him in an overhead throw into a slam. Short-arm clothesline from Kane gets a 2 count. Kane goes all punchy/kicky and settles into a chinlock. Ziggler fights back, kicks the legsd, then hits a reverse neckbreaker and a diving elbow ("shot to the heart") for his own 2. Ziggler hops up on the second turnbuckle, but Kane jabs him in the throat to send him outside and cue the commercial break! Back from commercial, they're back inside and Kane hits the post. Ziggler mounts a comeback with a drop-kick, then hit a famouser for 2. Jamie Noble hops up for the distraction, allowing Kane to hit a big boot for his own 2. Kane goes for a choke slam, but Ziggler climbs the soulders and turns it into a sunset flip pin attempt for 2. Kane kicks out, then eats a super-kick. Kane's successul with a second choke-slam attempt and that gets him the 3 count. Afterwards, Kane delivers another chokeslam, then Merucry and Noble puts the boots to Ziggler. Kane gets the house mic and tells Ziggler than he has another match against.... Seth Rollins, that starts right now. Funny, if only because this is kinda' the opposite of "tonight, your opponent is gonna' be.... KANE!"
Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins stalks into the ring and hits Ziggler with his curbstomp to get the 3 count in about 20 seconds. Kane does the honors of raising Seth's arm for the victory.After the break we get a commercial bumper from... K-Mart. Whoa. Talk about a dated time warp.
Heath Slater is in the ring for a Segment, wishing everyone a Happy Halloween annd is dressed up as a scarecrow. He says he's a "big brave crow", even after John Cena attacked him on Monday Night RAW. Yet this was apparently another intro to a match...
Ryback vs. Heath Slater
Slater ducks under a charge, then tries a waistlock. Ryback goes for an arm-wringer, but gets a fake arm and a load of straw! Slater explains to Ryback that he tricked him for Trick or Treat. Ryback hits a spinebuster, charging forearm, then his torture rack/Samona drop to get the 3 count in a little less than a minute. Well, the scarecrow costume made this more entertaining than a basic squash.Backstage, Adam Rose leads his entrouage through the hall, trick or treating. Their first knock on a door nets them Stardust and Goldust. Second stop nets Sin Cara in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costume, who throws them a little bit of candy. Next stop is R-Truth, who initially scares them in a basic ghost costume. yet R-Truth is ecstatic about getting to meet Rose's sidekick, "The Bunny". R-Truth wonders what it's like getting upstaged by a bunny and suggests that should've been Rose's costume, because then "somebody would pay attention to you." Ooooh, burn! R-Truth throws candy to the entoruage, but gives Rose a rock. Okay, the Charlie Brown rock gag will always be humorous to me. Oh, and the Bunny eventually signed with AEW, five years later.
A Special Halloween Edition of MizTV
This is still somewhat early in the "MizDow" gimmick, as The Miz has Damien Sandow as his stunt double, mimicking his every move. There's a headless horseman mannequin, along with a zombie mannequin in the ring, to go with the obligatory pumpkins. But it was just a few days ago, on RAW when Mark Henry turned on The Big Show, costing them a tag team title match against Stardust and Goldust. So here comes Mark Henry to answer the question posed by dozens: WHY did he turn on The Big Show? Basically, Henry thought Big Show was trying to outshine him and was sick of him "bossing me around". The Big Show comes out, stares down Henry, and plows through Mizdow to get to him. Henry tries escaping through the crowd, but ends up throwing Big Show though the timekeeper's box. Looks like we got us a midcard feud, playa!RAW Rebound: John Cena challenged "the future" Seth Rollins, but then Stephanie McMahon offered him a spot in The Authority. Cena gave her a stern "hell no". Triple H then announced "Team Cena vs. Team Authority" for Survivor Series. Later on, we got that Cena/Rollins match, which ended when Kane and the Authority intfered. Then...the ENTIRE LOCKER ROOM ran in for a big ol' brawl!
Goldust and Stardust vs. Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando w/El Torito)
The Dust Brothers are the tag team champs, but this is non-title. Matadores start with a flying head-scissors and a some dropkicks to score a quick 2 on Stardust. Double-team slingshot senton gets another 2 for Los Matadores. Stardust climbs the corner for what would be known as the Disaster Kick in future years. Goldust tags in for some stompy/kicky and his chops. Goldust pulls the top rope and Fernando (I think) goes flying to the floor to cure the commercial break. Back fro the break, El Torito gets up onthe apron, but Stardust knocks him to the floor. Fernando dlivers a flapjack, then Diego comes flying in with a crossbody on Goldust. Flying hed-scissors sends Goldust to thefloor. Both Matadores fly with a double shoulder attack on Goldust. Stardust gets in on the fun and leaps onto floor, as well, taking out Los Matadores. That leabes El Torito in the ring alone, and he goes a corner "619" type of move to nail Stardust. Stardust tries to deliver an F5 on Torito, but the little guy turns it into a hurracanrana and sends Stardust into the barrier. Back in the run, Diego slides in and rolls up a distracted Goldust from behind to get the surprise 3 count!
The Great Khali vs. Rusev (w/Lana)
Whoa. I completley forgot that Khali was still stumbling around in 2014. Michale Cole says: "The Great Khali has never been pinned or tapped out. Could Rusev be the [SUPERSTAR] to do it?" I'm just going to take their word for that, because there's no way I'm going to go back and watch every Great Khali match. Scary stuff, right there. Rusev pounds Khali in the tummy, backing him into the corner. Khali gets a big chop to the noggin, but Rusev is right back with a big kick, and then slaps on the Accolade (Camel Clutch) to get the submission win in about one minute. Umm... historic? Afterwards, Lana gets the house mic and works the crowd. "We have received direction from Mother Russia to destroy the deterorating American spirit". Then RUSEV gets the mic and calls out "your American Champion", Sheamus. When Ruseve wins, he will give the belt to "true leader of men, Vladimir Putin". Sheamus appears at the top of the ramp to accept the challenge, fella. He walks to the ring and telegraphs a Brogue kick, so Rusev rolls out of the ring and shouts Fighting Words!Bray Wyatt comes to the ring for a Segment! Or wait...it might be a match. Lemme' see. To preface this, we get a recap of Hell in a Cell 2014, when Bray Wyatt appeared in a burst of smoke and holgrams to cost Dean Ambrose his HIAC match against Seth Rollins. Wyatt saunters to the ring, sits on his rocker, and ponders why everyone likes to wear masks on All Hallows Eve. Just what are they hiding? Wyatt then turns this to Dean Ambrose, because he feels he's a monster like him. Basically, Wyatt's trying to give a spooky reason for why he was suddenly paired up with Ambrose in a seemingly random feud. *DIT*
Trick or Street Fight: Dean Ambrose vs. Cesaro
Yup, the (future) Blackpoll Combat Club Powers Explode! The ring area is adorned with plastic skeletons, broomsticks, pumpkins, tables and candy corn colored KENDO STICKS. Yet Ambrose enters with his own Kendo stick, just because. Oh, there's also buckets of candy on tables. I mean, could you imagine the horrors if someone got smacked with a Twix?! BY GAWD! He broke that Twix bar in DAMN HALF! Match starts with a straight-up brawl. Ambrose bulldogs Cesaro and goes for a pumpkin. Cesaro gets a Kendo stick and goes on the attack. Cesaro kicks Amborse to the ropes, so he can do his diagonal rebound trick. Cesaro with a double underhook powerbomb (!) for a two count. Cesaro sets up his own version of a Most Sincere Pumpkin Patch and tries to suplex Ambrose onto it. Yet Ambrose counters and they both tumble out to ringside. Cesaro tries setting up more props, picks up a bucket of candy and eats a baseball slide fomr Ambrose. The candy goes flying and I'm sure some dude in the front row is thinking "oooh. Free candy!" Cesaro picks up Ambrose and twist slams him onto the announcers' chairs. Kenod stick duel ensues with Ambrose getting the best of it. Back in the ring, where Ambrose ducks under a backdrops Cesaro onto the pumpkins, then clotheslines him out the other side. Cesaro tries to drown him a bucket of bobbing apples! Ambrose then whacks Cesaro with a plastic skeleton, until Cesaro hits him with a one-armed suplex! Cesaro clears another table and grabs a chair. Ambrose fights back with a BROOMSTICK. He sets up Cesaro on the table, then flies from the turnbuckle with the BROOMSTICK and lands a big table-breaking elbow! Back into the ring, where Ambrose clotheslines Ceasaro, puts a PUMPKIN over Cesaro's head and hit his double-arm Dirty Deeds DDT to get the pin! After the bell, Cesaro PUTS THE PUMPKIN BACK ON HIS HEAD and stumbles around so Ambrose can give him another DDT. I loved this. It may very well be on the list of Best Halloween Gimmick Matches ever. No foolin'.
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