- It's time for the end of the WWF's experiment with Shotgun Saturday Night. This is only the sixth episode, but already, they've pulled the plug on pushing the envelope. Not to point fingers, but once Terry Funk started using naughty language (well, "asshole" isn't that bad, but I guess in the WWF, it was) and did it up, ECW Style, they basically just turned it into a straight wrestling show, with a few very minor occurances (the Headbangers vomiting last week, for example), and the wrestling presented sucked, of course.
- We're coming to you live from Penn Station. Yes, we're in a subway terminal for this episode. Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" plays as the Undertaker welcomes us from the controls of a stalled train. Well, that was interesting. Vince McMahon and Sunny are calling the action, and Todd Pettengill is doing his usual role of annoying people.
But first, we are going to the Manhattan Center for Monday Night Raw on February 24th! That's the original location of Monday Night Raw. We're going to see The Undertaker, Ahmed Johnson, Goldust, and the Nation of Domination, just to name a few, and then on March 16th, it's back to Madison Square Garden! Vader vs. Undertaker in a Casket Match, Bret Hart vs. Stone Cold in a No Holds Barred match, and Shawn defends the WWF Title inside of a Cage against Sycho Sid! Fun tidbit: That MSG card was shown on the MSG Network, but I guess it didn't draw enough ratings to pick up on a regular basis. Also, the card was heavily altered thanks to Shawn losing his smile.
Back to the action, and Faarooq bashes Henry with a giant case of something, and Crush covers for a two count. Crush with a chinlock, and we know that's going to last a while. Crush with clubberin' blows, followed by stompin'. The Nation maintains control, but do nothing much of note. Irish whip, and a double clothesline spot sets up the hot tag. Phineas pounds on Crush and plants him with a slam, then one for Faarooq. Irish whip is reversed, and Phineas gets tripped. Crush accidentally rams Savio off the apron. Phineas goes for the Slop Drop, but Faarooq clotheslines his head off, and Crush covers for the three count at 9:55. * Well, at least it didn't feel that long. I should note, about two minutes of that was the local hype job for the WWF on tour.
- Thursday, February 13th, the WWF is going to have Thursday Raw Thursday. I think we all know the historic incident from that show. Here's a hint: Someone woke up that morning and couldn't find his smile. Just saying.
- Hunter Hearst Helmsley arrives in a limo, and is quickly pestered by the roaming cold sore known as Todd Pettengill, and hey, is that his entrance music playing? You mean his ARRIVAL (in his attire, of course) to Penn Station is when his match is about to begin? How rude...
- Todd plays a game of chicken to interview a small kid, and alleges that the kid doesn't have a father. Holy crap, who let Todd be funny this week? The camera keeps cutting out and we can barely find him in the crowd, but we can hear him.
Faarooq is pounding away on Montoya, and Crush tags in to do the same. Crush with a press slam, but sadly, he doesn't launch him into the 4th row. Triple teaming from the Nation, as the referee yells at Phineas. Montoya counters a suplex and plants Crush with a DDT. Todd is at ringside with a woman who wants to beat someone up... and it's a cat fight! Todd: We've already had midget wrestling! Faarooq rams Montoya to the buckle, and Savio tags in to put the boots to him. Whip to the corner, and Savio charges in with a clothesline. Crush tags in and connects with a back breaker, then snaps Montoya over his knee like a Slim Jim. Which Crush finisher was worse... the Cranium Crunch or the Heart Punch? Faarooq tags in and gets taken down with a neck breaker. Savio cuts off the tag and it's London Bridge time for Montoya. Savio chokes as the crowd chants "boring." Vince actually aknowledges the chant! Faarooq goes for the Dominater, but Montoya counters with a back slide for a two count. Crush tags in and pounds away in the corner. Savio chokes him across the bottom rope behind the referee's back. Savio with an enziguri, but that only gets a two count. Savio with the front facelock spot that leads to a false hot tag... and yes, we get a false hot tag. Montoya takes another shit kicking in the corner. How is this Jobber NOT dead after a 15-minute ass kicking? Montoya fights back in the war of Portgual vs. Puerto Rico. Montoya to the top rope, and he comes off with a missile dropkick for a two count. The Godwinns come in and brawl with Crush and Faarooq. Savio with a spinning heel kick on Montoya, and that gets three (FINALLY) at 15:37 (both matches held under the same time, with two commercial breaks edited out). ** Not bad, not great. It was fine as a singles match, but the tag portion, or more like the 3-on-1 portion, really wasn't that bad. Throw in the awesome stuff with Todd Pettengill, and you had me entertained.
- Phineas Godwinn is chasing D'Lo Brown (still unnamed at this point) backstage, then suddenly Pat Patterson get slopped for wearing a Bill Cosby sweater. I bet that's not the most disgusting thing splashed on his face that night.
- Todd Pettengill is with the Guardian Angels founder. Hey, I thought Ray Traylor worked for them. He talks like a typical New Yorker, which means I couldn't make sense out of any of it.
Final Thoughts: And thus ends Shotgun Saturday Night, at least as the new cutting edge WWF program. The next week wound up being a "Best of" clip show, and the next week of new material, it was just a show that was taped before Monday Night Raw went on the air. The wrestling, once again, wasn't that good, although to be fair, this week was far more wacthable, and there was zero risque material. I did love Todd Pettengill heeling it up, which means he could entertain his way out of a paper bag. Too bad the WWF didn't roll with it, and kept him a bland babyface lover for the remainder of his stay. Oh well, a fine experiment that is remembered fondly, but honestly, shouldn't be.
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