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WWF RAW- May 25, 1998
by Doc Allen
Live from Chattanooga, Tennessee. Our hosts are Jim Ross, Michael Cole, and Jerry Lawler
Mr. McMahon, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco, and a trio of fake cops come to the ring for some words. Vince is still in a good mood after assaulting Stone Cold with a chair. WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin joins them and demands the fake cops bring Vince to fake jail. The police seize Vince while the Stooges try to break it up. Now, Austin isn't a lawyer, but he calls them out for obstruction of justice, and now all three of them are in handcuffs. Vince pours beer all over Mr. McMahon, which is perfectly okay by the authorities. Austin celebrates while his enemies are hauled off to jail. This felt like a great show-closing angle, but it's just the opener.
DOA (Skull, 8-Ball, and Chainz) vs. LOD 2000 (Animal, Hawk, and Darren "Puke" Drozdov)
Droz tries to puke on DOA's bikes, but DOA cut him off. LOD gain control of Chainz, Droz gets to show off some basic developmental offense. DOA isolate Hawk, but Hawk is too feisty to stay trapped for long. Droz gets the hot tag, but the match breaks down around him. Jim Ross salivates over Droz' NFL background while hitting a sitout powerbomb to pin CHainz at 4:09. Not awful, just generally bad, *.
Winners: LOD 2000
Austin continues gloating while Mr. McMahon is placed into a police cruiser.
Looks like Al Snow and Head are lurking in the nosebleed seats in matching cowboy hats.
Owen Hart vs. NWA World Champion Dan Severn
Trio of fireman's carry takedowns by Severn, followed by an armbar. Owen escapes, but Severn gets a choke takedown. Owen targets the leg with kicks. Owen shifts his attacks to the face and midsection, Severn turns him around with a flurry of corner strikes. Owen gets away with a blatant low blow. Severn tries to slap some sense into Owen and then hits a power slam into an armbar. The Nation run in for the Russo finish and put the boots to Severn. Feels like these two had a good match together in them, but it wasn't this night, *.
Winner via DQ: Dan Severn
Vince and the Stooges are spotted sweating their butts off in the police cruiser.
The Jackyl brings a little person and an apparently blind man to the ring. This can't be going anywhere good. Apparently these two humanoids have been rented from The Howard Stern Show. They are Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf and Crackhead Bob. Okay, he's not blind, he's just... a crackhead. Ah, the 90's, what a time to be alive. These aren't The Jackyl's only Oddities, so he brings out Princess Luna, Golga, and Giant Silva.
Thrasher (with Mosh) vs. Golga (with The Oddities)
Hank wants to fight Thrasher, which sets up an ambush by Golga. Thrasher survives an early onslaught and dodges a seated senton. Thrasher foolishly walks into Golga's big boot. Golga slowly dismantles Thrasher and finishes with a power slam at 2:58. This was completely miserable, but Hank thought it was cool. See, Hank isn't angry, he's just misunderstood, DUD.
The Oddities beat up the Headbangers while the fans sit quietly waiting for Austin to show up again. Speaking of Austin, he's spotted flipping off Vince, the police car still hasn't left the venue.
Jeff Jarrett (with Tennessee Lee) vs. Vader
It's kind of amusing that they're using Vader to heat Jarrett up for a PPV match against... Steve Blackman. Vader scores a clothesline and power slam. Vader hits a splash, but Lee distracts the ref. Powerbomb by Vader, but Lee is up on the apron again, preventing a pinfall. Jarrett chopblocks the back of the knee and goes to work. Vader comes back with a flying splash. He amusingly no-sells his bad knee, but it doesn't matter, Kane
runs in to attack and we get another Russo finish at 4:01. Match was humming along nicely until I remembered that none of it matters, *¼.
Winner via DQ: Vader
Kane continues his assault with a hard Irish whip into the ring steps. Paul Bearer calms Kane down just as referees arrive.
Meanwhile, McMahon and the Stooges are covered in sweat, and removed from the cruiser so Vince can apologize to Stone Cold. Austin accepts Vince's half-hearted apology and pats him on the head. The handcuffs come off, but the dark look on Vince's face suggests that he's got some revenge in mind.
Mr. McMahon, Patterson, and Brisco come to the ring looking like beaten men. Vince becomes belligerent, takes back his apology, and threatens to ruin Austin's fun tonight. He books Austin against The Undertaker, with less than an hour's notice. Ah man, that could have been a perfectly good Summerslam main event and they're giving it away for free tonight!!!!! (/sarcasm).
Earlier today, DX goof around at an airport, with Chyna bonking the guys in the balls just for giggles. Triple H rallies the troops and announces that he's taking off on a very dangerous mission. He can't figure out which plane to board and hilarity ensues.
Back in the arena, Al Snow accosts Jerry Lawler at commentary. Security pulls Snow away while Jerry pleads that it's not his fault that he can't get a meeting with Vince.
WWF Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku vs. DIck Togo (with Kai En Tai)
Togo ambushes, but Taka sends him outside for a diving crossbody. Back to the ring, Taka hits a missile dropkick. Taka then flies into Togo's mid-air dropkick. Togo hits a cannonball senton from the apron. Taka blocks a German suplex, but Togo hits a blind low blow and overhead kick for 2. Togo works a vice grip and hits a snap slam for 2. Second rope moonsault by Togo also gets a nearfall. Taka's tornado DDT is blocked, but he recovers with a head scissors takedown into a rollup to win at 3:51. This was a full star better than anything else on the show, the fans couldn't care less, **.
Winner: Taka Michinoku
Kai En Tai punish Taka after the bell with a gang beatdown.
The Undertaker is spotted backstage looking super duper intense. Austin's a dead man.
Earlier, but somehow later, DX are hanging out at the airport, wondering where Triple H went. I'm getting flashbacks to that stretch in 2005 when Triple H was off TV, but nobody could stop asking about him.
Marc Mero (with Sable, against her will) vs. Faarooq
Sable aggressively removes Mero's robes, so Mero reminds her that he owns her via total legit legal contract. Mero uses Sable as a shield and then blindsides Faarooq for a hot start. Faarooq comes back with a power slam. Mero gets sent into the steps and hides behind Sable again for an advantage. Sable tells Mero off, allowing Faarooq to hit a lariat to win at 2:30. Not bad, just short, *.
Mero dares Sable to find any WWF superstar to beat him at Over The Edge, and he'll tear up the questionable contract. BUT, if Mero wins, Sable has to leave the WWF forever. Sable agrees to the terms, she seems more interested in playing housewife in rural Canada anyway.
Meanwhile, Triple H is attacking WCW in a fighter jet or something, I can't make sense of it.
Intercontinental Champion Rocky Maivia (with Mark Henry) vs. European Champion Triple H (with Chyna)
Rock has no comment about the wonder drug, Viagra, because he has no need for it. He's the best Intercontinental Champion there ever was and will prove it at Over The Edge. These two midcarders are going to do some big things very soon, but right now they're just full of potential. Bell rings, Rock scores first with a shoulder block. Rock grabs a headlock and hammerlock, Triple H scores a back elbow. They trade punches, Triple H sidesteps to send Rock crashing into a Chyna ambush. Mark Henry gets into Chyna's face, distracting the ref while HHH and Rock brawl around the announce table. Back to the ring, Rock stomps HHH into the buckles. Henry tosses the IC title to Rock for a belt shot to HHH's face. Chyna breaks the cover. Back from commercials, Rock hits a scoop slam. Peoples' Elbow by Rock gets 2. Triple H fires back with a clothesline, Chyna clocks Rock with the European title. Triple H's late cover gets 2. Snap suplex by HHH, then a knee drop for 2. Rock answers with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. A slugfest leads to Rock body dropping HHH outside. Chyna neutralizes Henry with a chairshot. HHH shoves Henry into the post and reverses Rock's Irish whip into the steps. They're both counted out at 7:54 (shown). Wow, these two have awesome chemistry, I wonder what they might do in a main event program, ***.
Faarooq ambushes Rocky on the ramp and gives him a piledriver on the stage. Rock is dead, we might never see him again.
Mr. McMahon triumphantly marches out in referee attire for the main event.
The Undertaker vs. WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin
Guest Referee: Vince McMahon
Undertaker doesn't like Vince either and gives him a chokeslam. Taker prepares a Tombstone for Vince, but Kane arrives to break it up. Taker and Kane brawl to ringside while Paul Bearer winces from the stage. Patterson and Brisco check on Vinnie-Mac when Austin finally arrives. Stunner for Briscoe, Stunner for Patterson! Austin ties Vince in the buckles and grabs a chair, but here's Dude Love
! Austin cracks The Dude's chair into his face! Austin stands tall, and zat's all, folks!
Final Thoughts: This is a typical Raw from 1998, full of hot angles and crappy wrestling… and I love it. This is the ultimate comfort food for me. I can't recommend binge watching WWF from 1998 enough.
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