Written in July 2021. Follow me on Twitter @SamoaRowe.
From Syracuse, New York. Our hosts are Jim Ross, Michael Cole, and Jerry Lawler.
Mr. McMahon comes out to a wave of boos and Austin chants. He talks out of both sides of his mouth as he says it was hard to have Austin arrested and he benevolently had him released. Vince promises that later he will introduce a new and improved Steve Austin. This entire promo takes about 90 seconds and nicely teases the possibility that Vince may have converted the Rattlesnake (although we all know deep down he hasn't, which is part of the fun).
We're treated to a very special video package of Dan Severn's MMA career.
DX party their way into the building. The group now consists of Triple H, Chyna, X-Pac, Billy Gunn, and Road Dogg, and they've ruthlessly moved on from Shawn Michaels. They are deliberately casting themselves as a youth movement, rebelling against the old men in the industry (cough, cough, WCW) and Triple H declares them to be an army. This was another very good promo that accomplished a lot without dragging down the show.
DX take the party backstage, bully a producer, vandalize the area, and seem to enjoy every second of it.
Tennessee Lee returns to introduce Jeff Jarrett. Instead of riding in on a horse, Jarrett sneaks up on Blackman and smashes a guitar over his head.
Triple H triple dog dares the boys to pee on DOA's bikes, and they don't hesitate to do so. You've never seen Triple H look happier
A battleworn Cactus Jack comes to the ring to talk. He will be damned if he lets scum like DX put him away. Guys like him and Terry Funk just don't miss wrestling matches, so if Terry Funk is so hurt that he had to go home, that's saying something. When they were in the hospital together after their Wrestlemania match, Funk felt like the pain was worth it, because he could retire as a champion. Cactus admits that later on, it made him sick to hear Steve Austin become champion and get his name chanted. He demands the fans apologize to him for cheering for Austin instead of Cactus Jack. After 13 years, it's not worth it to Foley anymore, and this is the last time anyone will see Cactus Jack for a long time. The fans don't really know what to make of all this, but give Foley for this daring, nuanced heel turn.
Earlier today, the Nation of Domination beat up Faarooq in the parking lot.
Mr. McMahon and some fake policemen come to the ring to introduce the New and Improved WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin. He comes out wearing a corporate suit (so, looking like pretty much any other world champion in the 20 years that would follow) and appears to have been domesticated. Vince is beaming because now Mr. Austin is on his way to becoming the best champion of all time. Still, Vince is annoyed that Steve isn't wearing the right shoes and has a non-sanctioned skull hat. Austin talks about how sitting in a jail cell made him realize that he didn't stand a chance in a fight against a powerful man like Vince, and asks one of the cops to take their picture. The old Stone Cold would tell Vince to stick the camera up his @ss, but the new Stone Cold wants Vince to get the picture developed, because this is the last time he'll dress up like this. The crowd pops as Steve strips down in defiant fashion. Austin wacks Vince down low and takes a picture of him hunching over. The fans love this classic Attitude Era moment.
DOA walk to the ring, which is probably smart since DX desecrated their bikes. They complain about DX, but I'm too busy being distracted by their SS tattoos.
Val Venis lounges on set. He is impressed by Jack Nicholson's latest Oscar win, but he's got nothing on him in his new movie “As Hard As It Gets.” It's going to be a scream when Venis enters the WWF. Hilarious stuff, if your name is Vince Russo.
Mark Henry sneaks in to suplex Shamrock, allowing the Nation to descend upon the World's Most Dangerous Man.
The Undertaker makes his first televised appearance since defeating Kane at Wrestlemania. He tells Kevin Kelly about all the hard lessons he taught Kane. Undertaker is more than willing to set Kane on fire at Unforgiven and send him packing to eternal damnation. Paul Bearer and Kane interrupt from the graveyard where Taker's parents are buried. They have a slow, agonizing death planned for Undertaker, and Kane smashes the tombstones to bits. Kane sets the debris on fire while Undertaker tries to not show any emotion.
DX have strength in numbers and lay waste to DOA. They prepare to finish off Chainz when the Legion of Doom run in for a late save. They run out of TV time and that's a wrap.
Final Thoughts: Fantastic 2 hours of televised wrestling entertainment. This flew by, so the bad stuff doesn't seem too bad, and there's some legendary moments sprinkled in. If you're looking for something to watch on Peacock, you could do a lot worse.
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