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WWF Monday Night Raw August 2, 1993
by SamoaRowe

Monday Night Raw

-Whoa, they are airing from a bigger venue than usual in Alexandria Bay, New York. Our hosts are Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan.

-Randy Savage is ready for his match against Doink, and boasts so in his locker room.

Rick and Scott Steiner vs. Duane Gill and Barry Horowitz
Scott squares off with Horowitz. Bobby Heenan says that Horowitz and Gill need a chainsaw if they want to win this match. Meanwhile, Scott unloads with an overhead belly to belly suplex on Barry. Rick tags and intimidates Horowitz. Gill makes a tag and briefly gets some shots in before eating a clothesline. Scott tags and delivers the Frankensteiner for the win at 2:46. Entertaining squash, ¾*.
Winners: Scott and Rick Steiner

-It’s time for part one of “Who is Lex Luger?” Lex talks about his dad, who pushed him into academic success over sports. Lex had to take chorus and band so he could be more well rounded, despite kids making fun of him. He talks about how his family moved around a lot, and he used sports as his means of gaining acceptance. Lex claims he was too shy to ask girls out in high school. Ha, loser. He fights his shyness to this day, as he believes if you’re shy but succeed at something, people think you’re arrogant. I can’t imagine why anyone would think someone who called himself “The Narcissist” was arrogant.

Adam Bomb (with Johnny Polo) vs. Tony Roy
The kids in the crowd are scared of Adam Bomb, who now has a red mouth and yellow eyes. Bomb takes down Roy and drives his head into the canvas. Roy desperately fights back, but gets driven into the turnbuckles. Polo asks the television audience to give his parents a round of applause for producing him. That’s the by far the most entertaining part of this match thus far. Bomb must’ve heard me, because he dropped Roy gut-first onto the ropes. Bomb delivers a top rope clothesline and finishes with the Adam Smasher at 2:17. This got vicious towards the end, so ¼*.
Winner: Adam Bomb

-Tatanka is still undefeated and Mr. Hughes is smashing his way through the competition. Next week they meet on Raw!

Doink the Clown vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage
Savage checks under the ring for more Doinks before the match. Doink stalls a bit early on, in between eating armdrags. Doink bites, which only enrages Savage, who grabs a chair. The ref yanks the chair, giving Doink an opening for attack. Doink applies the Boston crab! The ref catches Doink cheating, but the beat down on Savage continues. Savage knocks Doink to ringside and they brawl into a commercial. After the break, Savage has reversed a neck breaker in the ring. Doink bites again, retaking control. Savage takes a prolonged beating, but Doink can’t seem to put him away. Doink misses a top rope leg drop, giving Savage an opening for a comeback. It doesn’t happen, as Doink tosses Macho Man over the ropes. Savage hides under the ring and a Macho Midget emerges from the other side. Doink chases the Macho Mini into a trap set by the real Savage. Back to the ring, Macho Man gets a roll-up for the win at 9:20 (shown). This was a solid match until things got silly, but that’s forgivable since it was a proper retribution against Doink’s trickery, **¼.
Winner: Randy Savage

-The Macho Men dump Doink from the ring (after some biting, of course) and celebrate their victory.

-Vince and Bobby have a phone conversation with Ted Dibiase, regarding his match with the 1-2-3 Kid on the Wrestling Challenge. Dibiase is outraged that they are going to roll the footage of what happened. Dibiase hangs up out of protest. The footage shows Razor Ramon distracting Dibiase, and allowing The Kid to pick up the upset victory. As per usual, The Kid flees from the arena like a coward.

-James E. Cornette storms the ring as Bobby Heenan marks out over his arrival. Heenan enters the ring and embraces with Cornette. Heenan introduces Cornette to the crowd as the greatest manager in the history of wrestling. Cornette says he’s only the best because Heenan is retired (awww). Heenan asks about Smokey Mountain Wrestling, but Cornette blows it off and says he’s done everything there is in the business, except make his mark in the WWF. Cornette says he’s bringing his clients, Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Rey: The Heavenly Bodies, to the WWF to face Rick and Scott Steiner!

-After a commercial, we see Cornette taking a seat on commentary.

Mr. Perfect vs. Barry Hardy
Hard chop to kick things off by Perfect, but he runs into a hip toss. Headlock by Perfect and a nice drop-kick, sending Hardy crashing to ringside. Cornette is upset that Hardy nearly landed on him. Back to the ring, Perfect devastates with hard chops. Perfect continues to dismantle Hardy until he finishes with the Perfect Plex at 2:38. Good enough, ½*.
Winner: Mr. Perfect

-Cornette promises that the Heavenly Bodies will be on Raw next week!

Final Thoughts: This was an alright episode. The squashes were actually entertaining enough to not become boring, as they were kept short and intense. The one spotlight match between Savage and Doink was a fine pay-off to weeks of building up the tension, and the crowd was really into it. The highlight here was the debut of James E. Cornette and his excellent promo that helped set-up the pending arrival of the Heavenly Bodies.

Mild thumbs up.

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