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WWE Elimination Chamber

February 21, 2010

by Samoa Rowe

-From St. Louis, MO. Our hosts are Matt Striker, Michael Cole, and Jerry Lawler.

WWE Championship (Elimination Chamber):
Sheamus © vs. John Cena vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. Kofi Kingston

Kingston checks his back during his entrance, a clever nod to him getting ambushed at last year’s event. Sheamus poses with the WWE title in front of each pod, which is pretty awesome. Sheamus and Kingston start the match and have a nice back and forth exchange. Kofi blocks a hip toss onto the steel and lands a high cross body. Sheamus takes control after hitting some back attacks. 5 minutes have passed and Triple H is let out of his pod. Triple H and Sheamus have a heated confrontation and a slugfest breaks out. HHH, the seasoned veteran, takes control. Triple H blocks the Celtic Cross and nails a DDT for 2. Kingston rejoins the fight with a cross body on Sheamus. Kofi unleashes Controlled Frenzy and the Boom Drop on Triple H on the steel. Sheamus gains control of Kofi. With 10 minutes gone, Randy Orton charges out of his pod and he cleans house on everyone. Orton repeatedly smashes Sheamus and then Triple H into the chain wall. Kingston wipes everyone out with a cross body over the ropes. Orton counters Kofi with a drop-kick. HHH squares off with Orton and eats a scoop slam. A flurry of near finishers breaks out. With over 15 minutes gone, Ted Dibiase joins the match. Dibiase considers whether or not to attack his mentor, Orton. Dibiase decides to help Orton back up and they start working together. Legacy forces Kofi’s head through the chain wall for a vicious attack. Legacy turns their attention to Triple H. Dibiase suggests that Orton deliver the spike DDT onto the steel and it connects! Dibiase and Orton stand outside Cena’s pod as it opens at the 21 minute mark. Cena fights his way out of the chamber and cleans house on Legacy. Cena drops Dibiase onto the steel with an Attitude Adjustment! Orton saves Dibiase from the STF and signals the RKO. Cody Rhodes runs in and slips a lead pipe to Dibiase. Typically, Dibiase accidentally clocks Orton with the pipe, before dropping Cena. Dibiase eliminates Orton at 23:55! Orton realizes what’s happened and gives Dibiase the “I’ll deal with you later” look before leaving. Sadly, Kingston plants Dibiase for an elimination at 25:25. Sheamus drops Kofi with a Brogue Kick. The Celtic Cross finishes Kofi at 26:06. Sheamus turns his attention to Cena and nails a backbreaker. Sheamus punishes Cena in a tree of woe. Triple H saves Cena from the Celtic Cross with a low blow. The Pedigree finishes Sheamus at 28:30! The WWE Champion has been eliminated! We’re down to Cena and Triple H. Cena locks on the STF and Triple H taps at 30:16. This was pretty tame by EC standards, but it told several stories and nicely set up a bunch of Wrestlemania matches, ***¾.
Winner and new WWE Champion: John Cena

-John Cena is still on his knees in the ring when we’re joined by Vince McMahon. Vince randomly forces Cena to defend the title against Batista! It’s like Money in the Bank, without the briefcase.

WWE Championship:
John Cena © vs. Batista

Cena is in a complete daze but still connects with a wild punch. Batista answers with a nasty spear. The Batista Bomb finishes this at 0:30. What else can I say, but SQUASH!
Winner and new WWE Champion: Batista

-We are treated to a video recap of Bret Hart’s return to Raw and his renewed feud with Vince McMahon.

Intercontinental Championship:
Drew McIntyre © vs. Kane

Drew finally has real entrance music, but he still isn’t over. McIntyre is surprisingly aggressive in the early going, but Kane answers with a single uppercut. Kane takes control with a running drop-kick. Believe it or not, but Kane is favoring a headlock. Drew forges a comeback, focusing on the arm. Kane counters a submission by driving Drew over the ropes. McIntyre retains control by going back to work on the arm. Kane counters the DDT and delivers a big boot. Kane forges a comeback with his usual tricks. Drew blocks the choke slam but gets knocked off the apron. Drew has had enough and takes a hike. They brawl in the aisle and Kane brings Drew back to the ring. McIntyre thumbs the eyes and nails the Future Shock DDT for the win at 10:08. This was heatless and boring. It’s hard to believe that Kane would be a World champion again in only a few months, *½.
Winner and still Intercontinental Champion: Drew McIntyre

-Maryse approaches her opponent tonight, Gail Kim. Maryse tries to butter Gail up by saying how much better they are than the other brand’s divas. Gail reminds Maryse that she also speaks French, so she knows about all the terrible things Maryse thought she was saying behind her back.

Divas Championship:
Maryse vs. Gail Kim

This is the final match in a tournament to crown a new champion, after former champion Melina got injured (at a house show I attended, fun fact for ya). Before the bell can ring, Vickie Guerrero shows up to make things complicated. Vickie is unhappy that the Raw divas have been trash talking the Smackdown divas. She uses her authority to postpone the title match and books a tag match in it’s place. Okay…

Michelle McCool and Layla vs. Gail Kim and Maryse

Gail gets the better of Layla in the early going. Layla counters and delivers some kicks before getting caught in an O’Connor roll. The referee is distracted by Maryse, allowing Michelle to kick Gail off the turnbuckles. LayCool hit a double baseball slide to keep Gail on the defense. Gail counters but Maryse refuses a tag. The Styles Clash finishes Gail at 3:36. I’d say this was pointless, but I suppose it did lead to a multi-diva tag at ‘Mania, ¾*.
Winners: Michelle McCool and Layla

-Maryse isn’t finished and drops Gail with the French Kiss.

-Josh Mathews interviews The Miz, who will be Daniel Bryan’s mentor on the premiere of NXT. Miz boasts about his championship success and says there is no one better to teach Bryan how to be successful in WWE. He runs down Bryan as being a loser who would be at home at a Star Wars convention. MVP interrupts The Miz during his catchphrase to remind him that he lost on Raw. MVP promises to win the U.S. title tonight.

-William Regal comes to the ring for an interview. Regal is here to pimp the debut of NXT. That’s right, folks, you paid 45 dollars for an infomercial! Regal starts insulting the fans, which draws out Edge, fresh off his Royal Rumble victory. Edge was bored by Regal’s rambling so he drops him with a spear. Also, Edge will choose his Wrestlemania opponent on Raw.

United States Championship:
The Miz © (with Big Show) vs. MVP (with Mark Henry)

NXT hasn’t even started yet and Miz is already sore that he has to mentor a “rookie” named Daniel Bryan. MVP bats Miz around for a while. Miz gets some shots in, but MVP is clearly in the driver’s seat. Miz counters with his knees in the corner and we get our obligatory heat portion. MVP is selling like he’s been in there for half an hour and throws some desperate shots. MVP counters a chinlock with an electric chair. The crowd gets behind MVP as Miz continues to dominate. Miz gets crotched on the turnbuckles but blocks a superplex. MVP sprints up and delivers a belly to belly suplex off the ropes! Miz has a bloody forehead after hitting a head butt. MVP wins a slug-fest and builds some steam. Big Show pulls Miz to ringside, prompting Mark Henry to attack. Show sends Henry crashing through a barricade. Back to the ring, MVP misses a Yakuza kick, giving Miz the opening he needs. Big Show delivers a blind KO punch to MVP, and Miz retains at 12:59. This was a flat match with a bad finish, **.
Winner and still U.S. Champion: The Miz

-They replay Cena winning the WWE title and promptly losing it to Batista. You know, in case you were flipping channels during this $45 pay-per-view.

World Heavyweight Championship (Elimination Chamber):
The Undertaker © vs. Rey Mysterio vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk (with Serena and Luke Gallows) vs. R-Truth

Punk cuts a promo on his way to the chamber, seeing as it was about this time that WWE realized that Punk was a hell of a talker. Punk and Truth are the first participants and they square off in a back and forth contest. Truth takes control by using the chamber to his advantage, including a somersault senton onto the steel. Truth misses a corkscrew and suffers Go To Sleep! Punk eliminates Truth at 3:32! Serena hands Punk a mic and tells off Undertaker and Morrison. 5 minutes have passed and Rey Mysterio charges out of his pod. Punk counters 619 with a power slam. Rey counters GTS and gains a near fall. Punk swings Rey wildly into the chamber walls! Punk sends Mysterio crashing skull first into a pod! They battle on the ropes and Rey nails a hurricanrana onto the steel! A splash finishes Punk at 9:55! Jericho is let out and he charges into a hard arm drag. Jericho nails a clothesline and takes control. Rey comes back with 619 and springboards onto the wall, allowing Jericho to slam him hard to the steel floor. Mysterio retaliates with a springboard moonsault and applies a Dragon Sleeper! Jericho counters with the Walls! John Morrison enters the match and saves Rey (why?). Morrison cleans house, dumping both opponents onto the steel floor. Rey pushes Morrison into a pod and sets Jericho up for 619. Jericho counters, dropping Rey over the ropes. Morrison surprises with a flying double clothesline. Standing SSP by Morrison gets 2 on Rey. The triple threat exchange continues in high flying fashion until Morrison eliminates Rey with Starship Pain at 19:57. Jericho has Morrison trapped in the Walls when Undertaker is released from his pod. Undertaker wastes no time laying waste to Jericho. Morrison and Jericho manage to hit a double suplex on the Dead Man. Taker gets dumped onto the steel, leaving Jericho and Morrison to square off. Jericho angers Undertaker and is unable to hide in a pod as he gets pummeled. Morrison injures his leg on a springboard kick on Undertaker. Starship Pain is blocked! Jericho hides in a pod while Undertaker focuses on Morrison. Jericho prevents a Last Ride on the steel, leaving Morrison perched on the wall for a kick! Undertaker choke slams Morrison on the steel for the elimination at 28:18! We’re down to Undertaker and Jericho. Undertaker gets crotched on the ropes and suffers a superplex! They trade submission counters but it’s Jericho who gets the Walls. Taker struggles but counters with Hell’s Gates! Jericho comes back with the Code Breaker! Undertaker counters with the Last Ride! Undertaker signals the end when Shawn Michaels emerges through the steel floor! HBK drops Undertaker with Sweet Chin Music! Jericho is confused but makes the cover to win the title at 35:29! Jericho celebrates as Michaels looks down on Undertaker. This started out slow but got progressively more awesome as it went along. The Jericho/Undertaker sequence makes me wish they’d had a proper feud, ***¾.
Winner and new World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Jericho

Final Thoughts: We got two very good chamber matches and a heaping load of filler in between. That averages out to a thumb’s in the middle affair. If you’ve waited this long to see those chamber matches you might as well wait a bit longer for another compilation DVD or just check Youtube.

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