- Last Week on WWE Main Event... Sheamus defeated the Intercontinental Champion, Wade Barrett, as if that's much of an accomplishment in the last decade, but alas it was only a Non-Title Match. Also, Antonio Cesaro made short work of Main Event alumni Justin Gabriel, and the random team of R-Truth and Tons of Funk made short work of Main Event's personal scrubs, 3MB, before dancing in an unsynchronized manner.
- Taped on June 4th, 2013, from Long Island, NY. We've got Josh Mathews, Ricardo Rodriguez, and the Miz calling the action, unless otherwise noted. I kind of miss Michael Cole already, but Mathews is an underrated match caller, and holy crap, has he really been around since 2004, when he was calling Velocity? Remember Velocity?
We come back from break, including a commercial for 12 Rounds 2 (or whatever) starring Randy Orton. Sheamus battles out of a chinlock, only to be taken over with a powerslam. Cesaro with several pin attempts, only resulting in two counts. During the break, Cesaro worked in the double stomp to the chest. Back to "live" action, Cesaro runs in with an uppercut, then lays Sheamus out with a clothesline for two. Cesaro hooks that chinlock that practically KO'ed Justin Gabriel last week. Getting restholds over in 2013? How dare you! SSheamus fights free and slugs it. Cesaro appears to gain the upperhand until running right into a back breaker. Sheamus with a pair of charging axehandles, a shoulder to the midsection, and running knee lift. He sets up for White Noise, but Cesaro slips free. He takes a back drop to the apron, and Sheamus works in those forearms... it's such a contrived spot half the time. Cesaro meets the post in an act of Paybackô, and Sheamus follows off the apron with a diving shoulder.
Sheamus goes for White Noise once again, but Cesaro counters with the Crossface Chickenwing! Sheamus escapes it easily, no-sells a boot to the worked over arm, and connects with a somersault slam for two. Sheamus goes high risk, and jumps right into an uppercut. Cesaro covers, but only gets two. Cesaro tries his luck at something from the top rope, and connects with a knee across the chest for two. Cesaro with the Chickenwing applied once again, and this time it takes a bit more effort from Sheamus to escape, hooking the rope with his foot. Here comes the Neutralizer, but first a series of short-forearms to the side of the head. Sheamus counters, ramming Cesaro to the buckle. The Brogue Kick comes without much warning, and we all know that's enough for the three count at 13:25 (minus one commercial break). Good match, but I wasn't feeling it as much as I thought I would. Cesaro was his usual 'self, but Sheamus followed his typical formula match that's a quality performance, but nothing to really go on about other than "good match." It wouldn't hurt to let someone beat Sheamus for once.
- Raw Rewind: The horse-crap of a storyline featuring Triple H. Hearing both Vince and Stephanie McMahon on Raw, in 2013, is a shame on the creative team, but outright calling Curtis Axel "beneath" Triple H is just burying someone before there's even a chance to develope him! It wasn't a one time thing, it was hammered home a few times. I'm sure I've ranted on this topic enough, so let's move on...
We come back from a break, because this match needed to go longer than 5-minutes. the Uso's are STILL in control, working over Sandow. I'm sorry, but how can I buy into a team that has a combined record of 1-106 against teams not named Epico & Primo or the Primetime Players? I guess the match is so dull, Miz references Josh Mathews being on (the original) Tough Enough. Rhodes snaps Jey Uso down with a neck breaker for a two count. Sandow with a Russian leg sweep and the elbow of disdain for two. We get a double clothesline spot, setting up the hot tag to Jimmy. He lays out Rhodes with an enziguri, followed by the charging butt to the face for two. Sandow gets laid out with a crescent kick, and Jey Uso breaks up a pin attempt following the Disaster Kick. Rhodes charges into a boot, and the Splash finishes at 10:28. Watching the Uso's is like watching middle of the road workers from Deep South Wrestling or one of the WWE's other developmental locals over the years. Very basic formula, without much distinctiveness to really give much of a crap about them. It's amazing this team hasn't been cut over the years, considering their position so low on the card for the past couple of years. In short, I didn't quite care for this one.
- Raw Rebound: Ryback and John Cena are on a colission course. One that not many people have much anticipation for other than "Cena buries another challenger." At least in this case, it's only Ryback, and not someone with talent, like pretty much everyone he's been programmed with over the last 9 years.
Final Thoughts: I'm disappointed... we didn't get Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston Part VI, nor did we get to see Zack Ryder do the job in his hometown (that was saved for Friday Night Smackdown). All joking aside, what we got was a pretty average show. Cesaro and Sheamus had a good match, but not something to go out of your way to see. The Uso's push continues, despite a lack of talent or charisma other than impersonating their father, and what's the deal with Curt Hawkins randomly showing up? Not a bad show, not a great show. Let's hope for something better next week, a little less Uso-ish.