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WWE Main Event - February 6, 2013
by Scrooge McSuck
- Originally taped from Jacksonville, FL on February 5th. Michael Cole and JBL are calling the action this week, no doubt having the Miz selling the beating from Brock Lesnar earlier in the week on Monday Night Raw. As far as epic goes, Brock blasting Miz in the face with one of his stupid chairs was well worth all the replays. See also: Taka's Rumble 2000 bump.
- Cody Rhodes comes out, acting all pissy about not being part of the Elimination Chamber Match at... Elimination Chamber, and demands Booker T come out to face him. Michael Cole interjects to remind Cody that Booker T isn't at the arena, and then Sheamus shows up to make fun of Rhodes and it's on (like Donkey Kong).
Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes:
Shoving match to start, obviously won by Sheamus. He grabs a headlock, then comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Rhodes with his own headlock and takeover. Whip to the ropes, and a shoulder tackle from Sheamus sends Rhodes to the floor. Back inside, Rhodes stomps him down in the corner, but misses a clothesline and walks into a back breaker for a two count. Sheamus works the arm, then sends Rhodes to the corner, WITH AUTHORITY! Sheamus with a knee drop for a two count. He takes Rhodes over with a suplex and follows with a clothesline. He tosses Rhodes over the ropes, but he skins the cat back in, only to be tossed right back onto the apron for the obvious clubbing forearms spot. Sheamus with a forearm to knock Rhodes to the floor. He follows him out, rams Rhodes into the post, and throws him over his head into the security wall as we go to a break.
We come back with Rhodes hanging Sheamus across the top rope, then ramming him into the ring post. back inside, Rhodes stomps away, then punches, then stomps some more. Looks like his entire offense so far has consisted of punching and kicking. Sheamus battles back, but a dropkick to the knee puts him right back down. Rhodes wraps the arm and slaps on a chinlock. I think he has a shot at winning. Sheamus fights free and catches Rhodes off the ropes with a back breaker. Sheamus with axehandles, followed by a clothesline into the corner. He heads to the top rope, but Rhodes runs up with a knee to knock him back down. Rhodes comeback is short lived, tasting White Noise and the Brogue Kick, making the three count academic at 11:30 (minus one commercial break). Solid action, but practically an extended squash match for Sheamus. I wonder who Cody peeved to "deserve" the recent burial he's suffering.
- FANDANGO! No, I don't need to write any more than that one word.
Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow:
You'd think Bryan would be facing someone he hasn't wrestled a thousand times since October, but then where would we be without Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton or Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett to make out lives complete at least once a week? Last monday, Daniel Bryan was destroyed by Mark Henry, then accidentally on purpose cost Kane his match for not helping him out. Bryan attacks with uppercuts, then connects with a running knee to the midsection. Whip to the ropes, and Bryan with a diving clothesline. He hits a running dropkick into the corner for a two count. Sandow misses a charge to the floor, and Bryan follows him out with a knee from the apron. Suddenly, Kane's pyro goes off and distracts Bryan momentarily. Sandow with a surprise roll up for two. Bryan with No!-Kicks, mixed in with some Yes... someone having trouble making up their mind? Kane sets his pyro off again, and suddenly Sandow with his Rude Awakening neckbreaker for the three count at 2:34. Wow, what was the point of this being so short? I'm sure this is going somewhere with Kane and Bryan... but where?
- The Saga between The Shield and the threesome of John Cena, Ryback, and Sheamus came to a head on Monday Night Raw. For once, the Shield did not walk away with the upperhand, and we've got a Six-Man Tag Team Match scheduled for Elimination Chamber... Cena better not go over, but we all know he will, because he's John Cena: Never Jobs When It Matters.
The Funkadactyls (Naomi & Cameron) vs. Tamina & Aksana:
Yech~! This was set up due to a backstage confrontation. The WWE Diva's Division is so depleted, Tamina and Aksana are the only heels left. Hell, Cameron and Naomi are practically non-wrestlers, and the rest of the division includes Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Layla (remember her?), Rosa Mendes (non-wrestler) and Natalya, stuck in a non-wrestling role. Brodus Clay joins the broadcast position for reasons no one cares. Tamina and Aksana attack before we can complete the funkin' around (yes, pun intended). The match is a horrible mess thanks to everyone involved sucking. I can't even make Tamina Snuka jokes because everyone beat them into the ground since day one. Naomi shows off her athleticism, working in dropkicks, head scissors, and a body press on Aksana after getting the hot tag, then finishing her off with a jumping heel kick at 4:37. I'll give them points for reminding us Main Event fans of the ladies, but I'm taking all of them away for Aksana's incredibly bad... everything. she should've stayed a valet, looking cute and doing nothing. She was better at it than A.J.
Final Thoughts: Rather full show this week, but nothing that really stands out. Sheamus practically squashed Cody Rhodes, but it was still a good match. Daniel Bryan did a quick job to Sandow for whatever reason, but it's possibly leading to some sort of angle development with Kane. The Women sucked it, but it's the last 5-minutes, so no big deal. We're reminded of the John Cena and his Super-Friends battling the Shield, and hey, FANDANGO! Decent episode, nothing worth looking for, but not a horrible waste of 45-minutes, either.
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