WWF U.K. Rampage - April 11 1993
by SamoaRowe
Lord Alfred Hayes welcomes us to the show, being held in England in front of a highly excited crowd. Jim Ross and Bobby Heenan are also here, this being one of J.R.'s first shows with the WWF. They hype up a couple of matches, including our "main event" of Jim Duggan vs. Lex Luger. Also, Bobby Heenan will interview Yokozuna, who won and lost the WWF title at Wrestlemania IX just a week ago.
Fatu (with Afa) vs. Brian Knobbs
Scrooge, what the hell have you done to me?!? I take
comfort that Heenan is on commentary for this
'classic.' The crowd really likes Knobbs for some
reason. It was 1993 and he was already out of shape.
Knobbs plays to the crowd for more than a minute after
the bell rings, as Fatu and Afa do their pre-match
ritual. Knobbs taunts Fatu, who attacks from behind,
finally starting the action after two minutes of
stalling. Knobbs sends Fatu off the ropes into a back
body drop. Fatu retreats to ringside, for more
stalling. Fatu returns and makes a challenge for a
test of strength. Knobbs plays to the crowd again, and
then catches Fatu in a side headlock. Fatu sends
Knobbs off the ropes, misses a clothesline, and gets
hit by a side tackle. This is followed by more
stalling. They tie up, and Knobbs applies another side
headlock. Fatu pushes him into the ropes and Knobbs
takes him down by the hair. Afa grabs Knobbs' ankle,
allowing Fatu to hit a big kick to the face. Fatu
establishes dominance with a head butt and strikes.
Clothesline by Fatu. Fatu goes for a pile driver, but
Knobbs counters into a body drop. Knobbs attempts a
come back, but Fatu strikes his way back to control.
Knobbs is tossed through the ropes. Afa gets a cheap
shot in. Knobbs chases Afa, and gets blindsided from a
flying clothesline off the apron by Fatu. Back in the
ring, Fatu applies the reverse chinlock. Hurray!
Knobbs repeatedly slams his hands against the mat,
which I guess doesn't count as tapping out. Knobbs
fights to his feet, dodges a clothesline, and kicks
Fatu in the face. Knobbs hits another back body drop
and a scoop slam. Knobbs is blown up and does the ten
punch in the corner. Knobbs whips Fatu into the
corner, charges into Fatu's boot, and gets covered.
Afa held onto Fatu's foot, stopping Knobbs from
kicking out, giving Fatu the cheap win at 9:42. I had
to look at Knobbs' hideous mullet for ten minutes for
that finish? Sheesh, ½*.
Winner: Fatu
-Backstage, Alfred Hayes is standing by with Doink the Clown. Hayes appreciates Doink's sense of humor. Doink feels that most Americans don't appreciate his sense of humor. Doink is facing Kamala tonight, but laughs it off as Kamala isn't too bright. Doink laughs about outsmarting Crush at Wrestlemania IX, and heads to the ring.
Doink the Clown vs. Kamala
Seriously, Scrooge, WHAT have you done to me? I take
comfort in that this is evil Doink, when the gimmick
was still awesome. The referee pats down Doink and
finds a billy club in his sleeve. Heenan makes a good
crack about it being one of Kamala's tooth picks. The
bell never rang, but they lock up. The bell must be
broken. They lock up again, but Kamala shoves Doink to
the mat. Single leg takedown by Doink, and then an arm
bar. Kamala makes it to his feet but is taken down by
the leg. Doink stomps away and puts the arm bar back
on. Doink wrenches the arm, but Kamala hits some
shots. Doink knocks Kamala off his feet and stomps
away. Another arm bar by Doink. Kamala gets back to
his feet and swings Doink to the mat. Kamala tosses
Doink around and squashes him into the corner. Doink
retreats to under the ring. Doink comes out from the
opposite side of the ring and takes control of Kamala.
Doink goes high risk and flies into Kamala's fist.
Kamala hits a double thrust and a big splash, and
covers Doink, who is on his stomach. Kamala doesn't
understand that Doink needs to be on his back. Kamala
argues with the referee and gets rolled up at 4:25 by
Doink. What the hell was this? ¼*.
Winner: Doink the Clown
-Samu and Afa come to the ring, at first I thought my DVD was skipping when I heard the Headshrinkers music again.
-Backstage, Alfred Hayes is standing by with Mr. Perfect. He is upset about what Luger did to him at Wrestlemania. Mr. Perfect has Samu in singles action, so his vengeance on Luger will have to wait.
Samu (with Afa) vs. Mr. Perfect
Huge pop for Mr. Perfect, which warms my cold heart.
Bobby Heenan makes fun of a fan's sign that stated
'Mr. Perfect is more perfect than before.' Did I
mention that I love Bobby Heenan? The bell rings this
time, and Perfect plays to the crowd for a bit. They
tie up, but Samu shoves Perfect off. They tie up
again, but Perfect grabs the ropes. Another tie up
leads to a side headlock by Perfect. Samu pushes
Perfect into the ropes and gets hit with a shoulder
block. Mr. Perfect quickens the pace, hitting a body
cross, drop kicks, and some 'perfect' arm drags. Samu
retreats to ringside. Heenan takes this break to make
fun of England, 'Does the sun ever shine here?' Samu
finally reenters and challenges a test of strength.
Perfect denies the test, and they tie up. Perfect hits
a shoulder block and leaps over Samu, before getting
hit by a big clothesline. Samu pummels Perfect into
the corner and hits a nasty chop. Samu tosses Perfect
over the ropes to the floor, where Afa takes a cheap
shot. Perfect turns his attention to Afa, allowing
Samu to leap off the apron right onto him. Wow, this
is booked just like the opener, except that Perfect is
a far cry better than Brian Knobbs. The action returns
to the ring, Samu hits a chop, but misses a running
kick into the corner. Perfect takes advantage and
targets the leg. Samu kicks Perfect in the face and
punches him through the ropes. Afa gets another cheap
shot. Perfect returns, and gets bitten by the hungry
Samoan. Samu gets a kick and a close fall. Samu
resorts to choking. Perfect fights back with some
perfect chops, but Samu thumbs him in the eye. Perfect
is tossed to ringside again. Perfect hits the ring
post, and drags himself back to the ring. Samu hits
some head butts, including one towards Perfect's lower
region. Scoop slam by Samu and a falling head butt
into a near fall. Samu bites again. They exchange
shots, but Samu thrusts the neck, knocking Perfect
down. They exchange shots again, with Perfect gaining
advantage this time. Perfect stomps at Samu, who hits
him in the nether region again. Samu takes control
again with his methodical offense. Perfect gets an
inside cradle and gets a near fall. Samu thumbs the
eye to regain control, and tosses Perfect to ringside
AGAIN! Perfect grabs Samu's leg and wraps it around
the ring post. Samu no sells it, hits a scoop slam and
goes high risk. Samu misses the flying head butt!
Perfect hits the Perfect-plex for the win at 13:35!
Match was by the numbers, but Perfect brought his
working boots, **1/4.
Winner: Mr. Perfect
Damien Demento vs. Bob Backlund
Good lord. Scrooge: you're sick. Backlund does a goofy
work out routine before the match and offers a hand
shake. Backlund dodges a running Demento. Backlund
hits a single leg pick-up, causing Demento to hit the
mat. Demento hits some hard strikers. Backlund blocks
a clothesline and gets a near fall out of a backslide.
Backlund knocks Demento out of the ring. Backlund
chases Demento, who rolls across the ring to escape
again. The crowd is absolutely dead, by the way. They
boo Demento's stalling, but that's about it. Demento
takes control of Backlund with traditional big man
offense. Demento applies the crappiest looking reverse
chinlock I've ever seen. Backlund fights out, but gets
caught in the chinlock again. The chinlock lasts so
long, the crowd threatens to turn on the match.
Backlund finally hits an arm drag to escape, and hits
a stalled scoop slam. Sunset flip by Backlund gains a
near fall. Demento flees to ringside, but sees
Backlund's bare back and goes for the cheap shot.
Backlund was too obvious about making himself an easy
target there. The action is back in the ring, Demento
hits a snapmare and a leg drop and gets a near fall.
Then, you'll never believe this, Demento goes back to
the damn chinlock! If I don't hear 'boring' chants
soon, I will call this crowd the most generous I have
ever seen. Demento rakes the eyes, stomps his ass on
Backlund, and goes back to the chinlock. Backlund
knocks Demento face first on the mat, goes for a slam
but falls under Demento's weight. Backlund then pushes
Demento in the ropes and rolls him into a reverse
cradle cover for the win at 7:56. There is a good
reason why Damien Demento isn't remembered well today,
DUD.
Winner: Bob Backlund
-Backstage, Alfred Hayes is standing by with Mr. Perfect. Hayes puts over Perfect's win over Samu. Perfect puts over Samu as one of the toughest wrestlers he's ever faced. Perfect vows to take down Luger before this U.K. tour is over. Perfect is going to watch Luger's match tonight from the background.
Brooklyn Brawler vs. Typhoon
You know this is a top grade WWF show when Brawler
makes the card. This match is going to suuuuuuuuuuck.
Brawler dodges Typhoon's fat ass to kick things off.
They finally tie up and Typhoon corners Brawler, who
quickly escapes. They tie up again, and Typhoon shoves
Brawler through the ropes. Another tie up leads to
Typhoon knocking Brawler down and gaining an Irish
whip. Brawler runs into Typhoon's boot and then
Typhoon hits a drop kick! Good job, Typhoon. Brawler
takes a breather at ringside. Brawler returns and
shoves Typhoon a couple of times before getting shoved
himself. Brawler takes control, knocking Typhoon down
and stomping away. The crowd has been dead for the
entirety of this match too. Typhoon crawls into the
ropes, and Brawler uses the ropes for leverage to
stand on him. Brawler hangs Typhoon on the ropes and
takes a bite out of his forehead. Brawler gets a two
count, but Typhoon tosses him off. Brawler applies a
revere chinlock, the most popular move in WWF
wrestling. Typhoon sucks as a babyface and gets no
heat during his comeback. Brawler knocks Typhoon down
again and gets another cover attempt. Brawler rakes
the eyes, and what started as a lackluster match had
died. Brawler goes for the hair and gains another two
count. ANOTHER reverse chinlock by Brawler. The
referee drops Typhoon's arm twice, but Typhoon shows
life on the third drop. The crowd is actually behind
Typhoon this time, they probably sense that the match
is almost over. Typhoon whips Brawler into the
turnbuckle, but misses a running splash. Brawler
stomps away at a fallen Typhoon and targets some
stomps at the hamstring section. Brawler goes for a
scoop slam, but Typhoon blocks it and slams him.
Typhoon connects with a splash in the corner and hits
a power slam to end this travesty at 8:41. DUD!
Winner: Typhoon
-Alfred Hayes is standing by with Lex Luger. Hayes states that everyone is talking about how Luger can knock people out with his right arm. Luger makes fun of Mr. Perfect for whining about him. Luger doesn't mind that Perfect is watching his match, because someone is watching his back tonight.
Intercontinental Championship:
Shawn Michaels © vs. Crush
HBK receives a huge pop, the crowd is awake again
after napping through the last two bouts. The
hairstyles of both men are hilariously dated. The
influence of the 1980's were still alive until about
1994, where it was replaced with 90's attitude. This
is a rant for a different day. HBK gets a side
headlock, but Crush picks him up and places him on the
top turnbuckle. Clean break by Crush. HBK charges for
a tie up, but is quickly caught in a side headlock.
HBK pushes Crush into the ropes, and leaps into a bear
hug! HBK quickly breaks the hold. HBK slams Crush into
the turnbuckle. Crush reverses an Irish whip, the pace
quickens, and HBK runs into a big backbreaker! HBK
falls to ringside. Crush chases HBK around the ring,
but HBK reenters the ring first to take the advantage.
Crush no sells a clothesline and hits a military press
slam, after teasing to throw him into the audience.
Crush clothesline HBK over the ropes, bouncing off the
metal barricade. Crush pursues HBK, nails a head butt,
and rolls HBK into the ring. Crush grabs HBK by the
neck and throws him into the turnbuckle. Crush hits a
hard Irish whip into the corner, but misses a charge.
HBK drives a running knee into Crush, knocking him to
the floor. HBK drives Crush's head into the steel
steps. HBK knocks Crush into the ring post and takes a
breather in the ring. I don't know if it's because the
rest of his show has sucked, but this match is kicking
a lot of ass thus far.
Crush pulls himself to the apron, but HBK kicks him in
the shoulder. Crush finally gets into the ring, but
HBK drops a sledgehammer off the second turnbuckle.
HBK goes high risk for another double first
sledgehammer. HBK goes top again for an elbow drop
onto Crush's head. DDT by HBK earns him the first
close fall of the match. Side headlock by HBK. Crush
fights to his feet and elbows his way to freedom.
Crush barely blocks the sweet chin music and hits a
clothesline and big boot. Vertical suplex by Crush and
a leg drop. Crush signals the end, but HBK rolls to
ringside and grabs the IC belt. HBK tries leaving, and
the referee calls the bell. I'm not sure why, HBK
should have had a twenty count. Crush drags HBK to the
ring and hits a tirt-a-whirl backbreaker. The bell
keeps ringing, suggesting the match ended at 8:54. HBK
is dead, and Crush poses with the IC belt as if he won
the title. It's a shame this match had such a
horrible, sudden ending, because it was going really
picking up steam, **1/2.
Winner by count-out: Crush
-Bobby Heenan is in the ring for his interview with Yokozuna. He introduces his guest, accompanied by Mr. Fuji. Heenan demands that the crowd show Yokozuna the respect he deserves. Heenan recaps Yokozuna winning the WWF title from Bret Hart at Wrestlemania, with Hogan then challenging him and winning the title himself. Heenan mocks the whole situation, basically echoing my sentiments. Mr. Fuji angrily rants about Hogan's actions. Heenan brings up that Hacksaw Jim Duggan is hunting Yokozuna. Mr. Fuji states that Duggan is in big trouble and rambles. I can barely understand what Mr. Fuji is saying. Yokozuna stands there looking threatening, something he did well. Heenan wishes them the best of luck and thanks them for the interview. Yokozuna takes a place at ringside for the main event.
-Backstage, Alfred Hayes is standing by with Jim Duggan. Duggan does his 'hoooooooo' routine and puts over his happiness performing in England again. Duggan says that Luger does look good, but this is wrestling, not body building. Luger is in for a long night and marches his way to the arena. Serviceable interview by Duggan.
'The Narcissist' Lex Luger vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
This is the main event? Really? Scrooge, you will pay
for this! Duggan starts a 'USA' chant despite them
being in London. Heenan calls the fans 'dumb' and
accuses the chants of being piped in. Luger and Duggan
finally tie up, with Luger gaining advantage with some
strong shots. Duggan hits a series of clothesline,
chasing Luger out of the ring. The crowd chants 'USA'
again. Luger returns, and Duggan offers him a free
shot. It was a swerve, as Duggan blocked and hits a
series of jabs and a haymaker. Luger bounces off the
ropes and gets a knee to the face. Luger hits a
powerful clothesline, draping Duggan on the ropes.
Luger uses the ropes to choke Duggan, with the referee
breaking it up. Luger then goes for the headlock!
Duggan fights out with elbow shots. Typical WWF stuff.
Duggan runs into Luger's boot and hits the mat hard.
Luger hits an ugly elbow drop and gets a two count.
Luger goes back to the headlock. Duggan fights out
again and hits a football block. Duggan runs into
Luger's knee, and is the victim of yet another
headlock. Duggan fights out and knocks Luger's head
into the top turnbuckle. Luger clubs the back of
Duggan, who no sells it and corners Luger for some
turnbuckle punches. Luger reverses and Irish whip, but
they knock each other down. The referee is distracted
by Luger in the ring, and Yokozuna hits a sit down
splash on Duggan! Yokozuna rolls Duggan into the ring,
Luger goes for the cover, but it is interrupted by Mr.
Perfect! This calls the disqualification at 6:42! This
was a meh match, elevated by a hot crowd, *1/4.
Winner by disqualification: Lex Luger
After the match, Perfect and Luger continue to brawl. Yokozuna enters the ring and helps take down Perfect. Yokozuna misses the second turnbuckle splash, and Duggan returns with the 2x4 and cleans house! The crowd goes nuts. I'm glad they enjoyed this, because they were treated to a pretty crappy show.
Final Thoughts: The stink of Wrestlemania IX was all over this glorified house show, as there were bad gimmicks and finishes all around. It was worth watching, if only to see some vintage Hennig and Michaels work, as they both carried their bouts to respectable levels. The majority of this show was pretty awful though, so I would have to recommend not going out of your way to see this. Scrooge, I'll see you in hell! Of course, I'll probably be begging for this show when I'm through with Heroes of Wrestling
Recommendation to avoid.
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