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WWF @ Phildelphia Spectrum
December 13, 1986

by Scrooge McSuck

We're almost finished with our trip through 1986, and I must say, I'm surprised how much of the regional broadcasts I've enjoyed (with a stinker here and there, of course). We're making one more stop to my favorite location (SARCASM) before flipping the calendar to 1987. Not that anyone should be surprised, but the video quality of this show isn't the best. It feels like the Spectrum cards had the worst preservation through tape trading.

Dick Graham and Gorilla Monsoon are sitting ringside to call the action, unless otherwise noted.

Tony Garea vs. Steve Lombardi:

Opening with quite the barn-burner! Outback Jack was originally advertised to appear in what would have been one of his first matches, but is replaced for reasons unknown. He would be back on the road in the second week of January, so maybe a short-term injury? Tony Garea is ONLY 40 at this point, but looks much older with such an unimpressive physique. He's your prototypical "if my dad were a _____" example of feeling out of place. Lockup to the corner. Whip across the ring and Lombardi with a hip throw, followed by a side headlock takeover. We get our international and Garea hits a cross body press for a two-count. Another international and Garea remains in control of the arm. Lombardi counters a back body-drop attempt with a punt to the chest and follows with a back-breaker for two. Lombardi busts out a small package for another two-count. Garea slams Lombardi off the top rope and puts the boots to him in the corner. Garea with a dropkick and sunset flip for two. Lombardi whiffs a right clothesline and is sent to the post following an atomic drop. Whip is reversed, Garea misses a blind body press, and Lombardi covers for three at 5:35. Garea makes sure to kick out at 3.1. Basic prelim stuff, and thankfully kept short. *½

Sivi Afi vs. "The Natural" Butch Reed:

Welcome to the WWF, Butch Reed, here's a bottle of peroxide! Reed made his debut at a TV taping in September, but didn't start making regular appearances on the house show loops until November, either going over the bottom-feeders or going to time limit draws with Tito Santana. Slick is conspicuous by his absence. Lockup and Reed sends Afi to the canvas. Afi returns the favor and follows up with a pair of arm drags. Reed cuts Afi off with a running high knee and punishes him in the corner. Slow-motion whip across the ring and Reed buries a knee to the midsection. Snap mare and Reed rakes the eyes. Afi fights out of a front chancery, but Reed goes to the eyes again. Another whip and Afi counters a back body-drop attempt. Afi with chops and a headbutt. Reed reverses a whip and connects with a diving clothesline. Reed from the middle rope with a flying clothesline for three at 6:02. It's amazing how much Reed stopped giving a crap as soon as he signed with WWE. I thought he might have been somewhat motivated early in his run, but nope. ½*

Mike Rotundo vs. Brutus Beefcake (w/ Johnny Valiant):

Welcome to Round 1 of the Dream Team vs. Not Quite U.S. Express! Yes, we are getting Spivey vs Valentine later in the card. As usual for Beefcake, the bell rings long before he's removed his entrance gear. Lockup and Beefcake with an arm drag, followed by a slam. Rotundo blocks a shot in the ropes and fires off the same sequence of moves, sending Beefcake to the floor in frustration. Back inside, Rotundo works the arm. Brutus forces a break in the corner and drives a series of knees into the midsection. Rotundo fights out of a chin-lock, but the comeback is cut short as Beefcake hangs back to avoid a dropkick. Rotundo surprises Brutus with a sunset flip. Brutus busts out the gorilla press into a back breaker that I often associate with Nikolai Volkoff. Beefcake misses a charge to the corner, opening the door for Rotundo's comeback. He spins Brutus around and sends him into the corner with an atomic drop. Beefcake shrugs off some corner punches, sweeps the legs, and uses the ropes to stack Rotundo up for three at 9:21. Not much to this one, low energy effort and a weak finish. *

"Special Delivery" Jones vs. The Honkytonk Man:

OH BOY. We're not too far removed from Honky's heel turn. What? You didn't know he was a BABYFACE? Contrary to old internet lore, Wayne Ferris was brought in as a babyface TO BE A BABYFACE, because Vince thought that people who loved Elvis would love a wrestling version of him. He was introduced on TV late in the Summer with endorsements from other faces, including HULK HOGAN, but the gimmick was not well received and they did an uncharacteristic pivot and had Honky do a "vote of confidence" that was overwhelmingly against him (they probably just made up a number, since crowds hated him), and he would soon adopt Jimmy Hart as his manager. Some have suggested the idea the entire time was to introduce a character fans didn't like, but that's giving McMahon way too much credit. Not to mention they were putting him on house shows against Jake Roberts and Randy Savage before shuffling the deck. Honky wouldn't work against a babyface opponent on the houses until just 2 weeks before THIS show, working with Lanny Poffo in Long Island.

Well, I guess I have a match to cover now. It's going to stink, it's S.D. Jones vs. Honkytonk Man, what else needs to be said? Lots of shtick from Honky before the bell. The bell rings and Honky wastes no time hiding in the ropes. Lockup and Honky with a clean break. Jones with a pair of slams, sending Honky out of the ring. Back inside and more shtick. Honky threatens to take a walk, but decides against it. Jones works the arm until Honky pops him with a sucker punch. Whip and Honky with an elbow, followed by a series of axe-handles across the chest. Whip and Jones surprises Honky with a cross body press for a two-count. Honky with a slam and a fist drop from the middle rope for two. Jones fights out of a chin-lock and runs wild with punches and headbutts. Honky cuts him off and finishes with the Shake Rattle ‘n' Roll at 7:31. This was about as good as you were expecting: not very. Honky did a lot of shtick and that was pretty much it. *

Danny Spivey vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Johnny Valiant):

Time for the second half of our Dream Team vs. American Express split. Usually there's good odds we put over the member of the team that lost the first match in the night, but Valentine is still considerably higher on the pecking order than Spivey, so I'm not sure I'm comfortable making that bet. Valiant takes a shot at Spivey's knee and gets ejected from ringside.Things get under control and Spivey gets the first big shot, taking Valentine off his feet with a clothesline. Valentine cuts Spivey off, clipping the bad knee. Spivey offers a short flurry of strikes before getting dumped out of the ring. Back inside, Spivey surprises Valentine with an enzuigiri, but can't capitalize on the opportunity. Beefcake makes his way to ringside to add some moral support. Spivey starts his comeback, sending Valentine into the corner and following in with a clothesline. Beefcake with a quick distraction. Valentine gets a shot from behind, but Spivey recovers and takes him over with a sunset flip for two. Spivey with the running bulldog. Valentine pops up immediately as Beefcake jumps on the apron with ANOTHER distraction. Spivey somehow kicks out of a roll-up at two, we get heel miscommunication, and Spivey covers Valentine for the three-count at 6:30. Afterwards, Beefcake gets some shots in until Rotundo makes the save. This was another in a long line of "meh". *½

Blackjack Mulligan vs. Jimmy Jack Funk:

It's the Battle of Texas! With the Machines in the rear-view mirror, Blackjack Mulligan was introduced to the WWF audience and... well, he looks like an old, fat Texan. Jimmy Jack is on his own, now that both Terry and Dory/Hoss have left the company, and he's basically a Steve Lombardi level enhancement guy who gets to work the house show loop. Mulligan is introduced like a second-rate lounge performer (that's me saying the local ring announcer is awful). Mulligan snatches Jimmy Jack's hat and threatens to toss it to the crowd, forcing Funk to beg. "NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Funk's damn cowbell has me thinking it's the ring bell. The referee gets on Mulligan to remove the spurs from his boots. Jimmy Jack attacks from behind but Mulligan no-sells. He blocks a slam attempt and gives Funk a gorilla press slam in response. Whip to the ropes and Mulligan with a clothesline. Whip to the corner and a diving elbow finishes Funk at 0:57. Well, you're getting paid the same no matter what, and this means we won't suffer too much. Fun shtick, at least.

Tito Santana & Pedro Morales vs. The Hart Foundation:

Nothing gets me more pumped than the prospect of a Pedro Morales match! Maybe camping on the apron isn't the worst option in the world at this point in his career. Monsoon says we've changed ring announcers, and now it's "The Dubious" Mel Phillips doing the honors. Morales and Neidhart start. Lockup, Morales with a side headlock, followed by a shoulder block. Monsoon with the usual "Neidhart's fake NFL career" story. Morales goes to the body and the Mexi-Rican Connection takes turns working the arm. Bret tags in and throws a handful of his hair drip at Morales on the apron. Santana snaps Bret over with a series of arm drags, sending him to the floor to rethink things. Back inside, Santana and Bret put on a clinic. Whip to the ropes and Santana bounces back with a diving forearm for a near-fall. Santana gets caught in the wrong part of the neighborhood. They hit Santana with a version of the Demolition Decapitation for a near-fall of their own. Santana fights out of a chin-lock but Bret cuts him off from getting to his corner with an elbow drop across the back of the neck. Next up is the hot tag that the referee misses because the heel rushes in to draw his attention away from the action. Bonus points for not realizing Neidhart has switched places with Bret. Hart with a back breaker, but Neidhart's slingshot splash misses the target. Morales with the hot tag (and the crowd goes wild), running wild with left hands and a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER. He rolls up Neidhart but Bret makes the save. Morales with a BAAAAACK body-drop for two. Heck breaks loose with all four men in the ring. Morales with a Boston Crab, but Bret hits him from behind with a flying axe-handle, and Neidhart falls on top of him for three at 10:18. An honest-to-goodness solid match. Morales being limited to about 90-seconds of work WAS the perfect move! ***

The Junkyard Dog vs. "King" Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan):

I'm expecting a lot of shtick from this one, but it will probably go 5-10 minutes as a featured attraction. Before the match, Heenan gets on the house mic and demands that everyone (including the JYD) gets to one knee and show the proper respect to the King. Lockup to the corner, JYD with a double block and a series of blows that send Race rolling out of the ring. Back inside, JYD cranks on a side headlock. Race forces a break in the corner and buries a series of shoulders to the midsection. Snap mare out of the corner and Race goes for a headbutt, and you know how well that one ends for him. Race fights out of a chin-lock and takes the Dog over with a belly-to-belly suplex for a two-count. Whip to the ropes and Race with a clothesline, followed by a knee drop for two. JYD takes control with a headbutt. Whip across the ring and Race takes his signature bump out of the ring. Imagine an era where Race's antics were considered killing the business. JYD with a forearm across the chest, sending Race over the ropes and back in the ring. JYD WITH A SMALL PACKAGE, but he can't hold it long enough. I guess points for trying. Race with a blatant rake of the eyes. JYD goes for a slam and they go tumbling over the top rope. They continue to fight on the floor and it's a double count-out at 7:41, even though JYD seemed to roll back in before the count was finished. After the match, JYD poses with the crown and gets worked over for daring to pretend to be the King. This was surprisingly decent, minus the weak finish. **

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules (w/ Bobby Heenan):

I swear, these guys wrestled every night for like 8-months. Hercules has recently dropped his surname, but I'm sure it will slip in on commentary from time to time with Dick Graham on the call. Danny Davis is the special appointed referee of the match. If you're familiar with the era and don't know what to expect with the finish, lose my number. Davis is over-the-top in pre-match instructions when it comes to Billy Jerk. Lockup and neither man with the advantage. They take it to the corner and Hercules breaks clean. I honestly expected Davis to give BJH the business. Spoke too soon. They lockup again and Davis is all over Haynes. Hercules buries a knee to the midsection and lands a pair of elbows across the back of the head. They work in the International, and wow, not a good looking bump for the hip toss from Hercules. Haynes with a dropkick that whiffs, sending Hercules to the floor. We do our second International and this time Hercules takes Haynes' hairline off with a clothesline. They get into a slugfest, won by Haynes. He tosses Hercules with a press slam and drops an elbow for two. Davis AGAIN gets in the way, and things get physical. The crowd pops hard for Haynes accidentally popping Davis with an elbow. Another slugfest and Davis gets in the middle to wave off the match, awarding Hercules the victory by Disqualification at 7:26. The match was mostly background noise to establish how crooked a referee Danny Davis has become. *½

Jose Luis Rivera vs. Iron Mike Sharpe:

Wow, we're getting a rare W for one of these guys! Sharpe attacks from behind and sends Rivera into the turnbuckle. Whip to the ropes and Sharpe with a big meaty clothesline before dumping Rivera to the arena floor. Sharpe brings the fight to the floor, slamming Rivera face-first on a ringside table. Back inside, Sharpe misses a charge to the corner. Rivera throws a series of right hands. Whip to the ropes and Sharpe counters a back body-drop with a forearm across the back. Rivera surprises Sharpe with an O'Connor Roll for a near-fall. Rivera with a back-slide and the referee rushes the count, giving JOSE LUIS RIVERA the win at 1:44. Wow, what a weird card tonight.

Cpl. Kirchner vs. Kamala (w/ The Wizard and Kim-Chee):

I won't expect this to be very long, either. Kamala is getting the typical monster heel push, beating geeks around the horn before he starts challenging Hogan in some markets. Kirchner is just dead in the water now that they've squeezed everything they could out of his program with Nikolai Volkoff. Kirchner unwisely challenges Kamala with a shoulder block and is sent flying across the ring. Kamala blocks a slam and punishes Kirchner with his usual arsenal. Whip to the ropes and Kamala with a double chop to the throat. Kirchner reverses a whip and stuns Kamala with a clothesline. He runs wild with right hands and a headbutt. Kamala hangs back to avoid a dropkick and finishes Kirchner with a pair of splashes at 2:42. After the match, Kamala with more splashes from the top rope, sending Kirchner away on a stretcher.

WWF Championship; Steel Cage Match: Hulk Hogan (c) vs. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff (w/ Bobby Heenan):

Final match of the night. These two have gone around the horn since September, and still had enough juice in them as we're entering 1987. Monsoon says it's unusual to contest the title inside a steel cage. Orndorff jumps on Hogan as soon as he enters the cage, stripping him of his title belt and whipping him across the back. Orndorff tears the shirt off Hogan's back and chokes him with it. Hogan stops Orndorff from going through the cage door, inviting more kicks to the back of the head. Hogan with another block as Heenan desperately tries to help pull Orndorff out the door. Hogan rolls away from a pair of elbows and fires off some right hands to crowd approval. Hogan tries to climb but Orndorff hits him low. Meanwhile, Heenan padlocks the door shut! That means the only way out is over the top!

Hogan cuts Orndorff off and rams him repeatedly into the turnbuckle. He goes for the door, discovering Heenan's dirty work. Orndorff climbs and is almost home free, but Hogan hangs him across the top and pulls him over to keep his chances to retain alive. Now it's Hogan using the shirt as a tool to choke someone out. Orndorff goes to the eyes to create separation and lays out the Champion with a clothesline. Hogan stops Orndorff's climb by raking him across the back and chest. Orndorff with a shot to the throat and repeated shots to the cage. Hogan returns fire and starts HULKING UP. He shrugs off the boots and right hands and sends Orndorff into the cage. Orndorff and Hogan both showing color (at least that's what we're being told, the video quality isn't the cleanest with a darkened arena). Hogan with a back breaker and leg drop as Heenan unlocks the door. He hops in to try and stop Hogan, but that doesn't work. Hogan continues climbing out as Orndorff goes for the door. Heenan tries to slow Hogan down, but no luck, and it's Hogan out first to retain at 8:05. Very short, but non-stop action and a good match to blow off their program. ***

Final Thoughts: An unusual show this time from the Spectrum, a 12-match card where nothing was longer than 10-minutes and quite a few matches were only a couple of minutes long (or even shorter). The Main Event delivered, and is honestly the only match that is really worth seeking out, but everything is so short, there's nothing wrong with putting this on and occasionally looking up for anyone that might be of interest.

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