WWF @ Madison Square Garden
December 13, 1986
by Scrooge McSuck
Well, the Road through 1986 ends here. I guess I could look back at some episodes of Prime Time Wrestling or maybe cover the weekly episodes of Superstars or Wrestling Challenge, but for regional broadcasts of live events, there's only a handful of shows I might be able to dig up and cover if we want to revisit more of the year. At this point, I think we're all ready for 1987, especially the weeks leading up to WrestleMania III and some of the aftermath... but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan are sitting ringside to call the action, unless otherwise noted. The WWF ran the Pittsburgh Civic Center that same night with top matches including Roddy Piper vs Adrian Adonis, Junkyard Dog vs. King Kong Bundy, George Steele vs Jake Roberts, and a lot of geek matches.
Paul Roma vs. Terry Gibbs:
Hey, enhancement talent we haven't seen a ton of times working prelims on other house shows we've covered recently! Monsoon talks about Roma being taken under the wing of "Special Delivery" Jones recently. That's not something to admit in public! Lockup to the ropes and Gibbs with a cheap shot. Roma blocks a kick, hits an atomic drop, and comes off the ropes with a cross body press for a two-count. Crisscross and Roma with a clothesline for two. Gibbs fights out of a side headlock, but is caught coming off the ropes with a hip toss and Roma goes right back to the hold. Roma misses a charge to the corner, allowing Gibbs to take control. Gibbs brings Roma in from the apron with a suplex for a two-count. We get a bearhug, much to the surprise of Monsoon. Roma smacks the ears to break the hold, but buckles under a SLAM attempt. Gibbs isn't THAT big. He's not big at all, actually. Roma gets fired up and takes Gibbs over with a suplex. Gibbs sidesteps Roma and clubs him across the back of the head. Roma fights his way back in the ring and hits a flying sunset flip for three at 9:24. This wasn't very good. Odd pacing and generally dull stuff. *
Sivi Afi vs. The Honkytonk Man:
Fink baits the crowd with a "let's give him a WARM, NEW YORK WELCOME" as he introduces the freshly turned heel Honkytonk Man. I can only imagine Vince's heartbreak over not being able to sell HTM jumpsuits as Halloween costumes. I've talked enough about Sivi Afi being a shameless Superfly knock-off that the WWF fans of the Northeast outright rejected the second he debuted... so I'll leave it at that. Honky attacks Afi before Fink can introduce him. He hits the Shake Rattle ‘N' Roll, and the referee waves the match off. Since the match never technically started, I can't sarcastically quip that this was the best Sivi Afi match I've ever seen.Cpl. Kirchner & "The Rebel" Dick Slater vs. The Hart Foundation:
Someone, somewhere, thought that wrapping Slater in the rebel flag would make him a babyface in a company that's home base was still the Northeast. No Jimmy Hart, which means he was probably with Adrian Adonis on the show in Pittsburgh. Monsoon questions Heenan about the reinstatement of Andre the Giant, and Heenan quickly changes the subject. Hmm... Hart and Kirchner start. Lockup to the ropes and Kirchner gives a clean break. Of course, Bret complains about the hair being pulled. Neidhart in and he runs into a hip toss. Slater chases Bret all around ringside, but can't catch him. Neidhart from behind and we get heel miscommunication.Back inside, Neidhart plants Kirchner with a slam and Bret comes off the second rope with an elbow. Neidhart with some illegal help as the referee is distracted by Slater. Kirchner manages to evade Bret and tags in Slater, who runs wild on the Foundation with right hands. Whip to the ropes and he smacks Bret on the chin with an elbow. Neidhart with a knee to the back, finally ending Slater's hot streak. Now it's Slater's turn, getting caught in the wrong corner. The Foundation with their combo back breaker and flying elbow for a near-fall. Slater and Neidhart trade blows until the Anvil goes to the eyes. Slater fights out of a bearhug, but can't capitalize. Kirchner saves Slater from a double suplex and gets the tag, but unfortunately, the referee didn't see it. Whip and Slater dives into the arms of Bret and Neidhart, knocking them into each other. Kirchner with the real hot tag, running wild with right hands and a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER. He turns Neidhart over with a Boston crab, but Bret saves. Heck breaks loose with all four men in the ring. The Foundation hit the Hart Attack and Neidhart falls on top of Kirchner for three at 12:38. Good match, nothing special. **½
WWF Women's Championship Match: The Fabulous Moolah (c) vs. Leilani Kai:
Nothing feels more random than the occasional Women's Championship Match on one of these old school regional cards. ESPECIALLY when Leilani Kai has been featured as a heel the entire time, and Moolah was 100% still a heel. We get some ridiculous back-and-forth with Leilani and the referee over checking her boots, and then more shenanigans with Moolah. Leilani nails Moolah from behind and works her over in the corner. She takes Moolah over with a hip toss and sends her to the floor following a dropkick. Moolah withstands more abuse and starts working in her usual routine of hair mares before dumping Leilani to the concrete. Leilani picks the ankle and drags Moolah out, slamming her face-first on the ring apron. Moolah responds by smacking her head on the timekeeper's table and slamming her on the concrete! Back inside, Moolah whacks her own arm across the turnbuckle, allowing Leilani to regain control. The ladies take turns choking each other. They take turns trading blows, with Leilani getting the better of the exchange. Moolah avoids a dropkick and gratuitously claws the face of Leilani. Whip and Leilani surprises Moolah with a cross body press for two. Moolah fights out of a leg lock. Whip to the ropes, Moolah ducks under a second body press and scratches and claws at Leilani until the referee pulls her off. Leilani takes advantage of the distraction and hits a running dropkick. Now the referee forces Leilani off Moolah for her dirty tactics. Moolah with a dropkick, knocking Leilani into the referee, and rolls her up to retain at 10:08. Solid stuff here and there, but the confusing heel vs heel dynamic didn't help get the crowd interested, and there was too much gaga with the referee. **¼Pedro Morales vs. Dino Bravo:
That should put an end to our streak of decent matches. Both men are already in the ring for introductions. Bravo still has his natural hair color and is already looking bloated from that chicken and broccoli diet. Morales offers a handshake and Dino gives him a thumbs down. WHAT A HEEL! Lockup, Morales grabs a side headlock and comes off the ropes with a shoulder block. Monsoon mentions that Bravo is now under the tutelage of Johnny Valiant. They trade holds, with Bravo going to the ropes to force a break. Pedro catches the boot, spins Bravo around, and hits him with an atomic drop. Bravo with a yank of the hair to control a side headlock. Pedro fires off some left hands, sending Bravo to the floor for a breather. I'm begging for them to take it home. Bravo with a gut-wrench suplex for a near-fall. We kill more time with a long chin-lock. Bravo casually throws Morales to the arena floor. Bravo sends Morales into the post and clubs him across the chest with a series of forearms. Bravo with the side suplex for a two-count. That was a slow count. Morales avoids a splash and starts his comeback. Whip and a BAAAACK body-drop for two. Small package for two. Bravo accidentally clobbers the referee in the corner. Despite the obvious mistake and explaining himself, the referee ignores Bravo's plea and awards the match to Morales at 14:32. Wow, that long for that finish. ZERO STARS
WWF World Heavyweight Championship Match:
Hulk Hogan (c) vs. Kamala (w/ The Wizard & Kim-Chee):
Hogan sure had a wild 1986 as far as challengers goes! Kamala made his WWF return at the end of the Summer and was squashing geeks left and right and heavily featured on the syndicated shows. Monsoon makes sure to remind me of the nonsense that the Wizard (Curtis Iaukea) was "channeling the wisdom of the deceased Grand Wizard of Wrestling". The crowd is HOT for this one. They both come off the ropes and meet in the middle with a stalemate. Kamala busts out a leap frog and puts Hogan down with a diving shoulder. Hogan goes for a slam, but Kamala blocks and unloads with chops across the back. Hogan rolls away from chops off the ropes and rocks Kamala with a clothesline and running high knee. Kim-Chee hops on the apron and gets decked, buying Kamala time to recover and whack Hogan with a gimmick passed to him from the Wizard. Kamala with a lot of choking and belly-slapping. He plants Hogan with a slam and comes off the ropes with a splash for a near-fall. Hogan starts HULKING-UP, shrugging off a series of blows from the Ugandan headhunter. Hogan sends Kamala from turnbuckle to turnbuckle. Whip to the corner, Hogan charges in with a clothesline and plants the big man with a slam. Hogan hits the ropes for a leg drop, but the Wizard trips him up. Kim-Chee has the referee distracted during all of this. Kamala with a splash while the Wizard holds the legs of Hogan. Joey Marella turns around and sees the antics and calls for the bell at 6:40. Kim-Chee dumps Marella and Kamala climbs the ropes for a super-sized splash, but Hogan fights off the two geeks and clears the ring, standing tall at the end. This was as good as you're getting out of Kamala, keeping it short with a lot of gaga. ***
After promising to interview the winner, Bobby Heenan is backstage, interviewing The Wizard and Kamala, leading to a brawl between Kamala and Hulk Hogan.
Jose-Luis Rivera vs. Steve Lombardi:
Coming back from intermission with a real barn-burner. Lombardi attacks Rivera from behind and plants him with a slam. Whip to the ropes, Rivera counters a back body-drop attempt and connects with a dropkick. Whip to the corner and Rivera meets a boot. He's still wearing his ring jacket. Lombardi tosses Rivera over the top rope and sends him into the post. RIVERA HAS FINALLY TAKEN OFF HIS JACKET. Back inside, Rivera surprises Lombardi with a sunset flip for two. Inside cradle for another two-count. Rivera pins Lombardi with a back-slide at 2:39?! Lombardi wants to keep going, but Rivera fights him off. Wow, that's TWO wins for Jose Luis Rivera in the span of two weeks! NEW RECORD! Match was nothing to speak of.
Tuxedo Match: Hillbilly Jim vs. Mr. Fuji:
Oh my goodness... I'm pretty sure this surfaced on one of the "Best of the WWF" tapes released by Coliseum Video, but I would always fast forward. Jim was being victimized by The Magnificent Muraco and Fuji around the horn, with THIS being the blow-off in select markets. Fuji is wearing his usual outfit, while Jim has a cheap-looking white tuxedo on. CAUSE HE'S A BABYFACE. Jim snatches Fuji's bowler and stomps it. Fuji tears at the jacket and Jim returns fire. AM I LITERALLY CALLING PBP FOR A TUXEDO MATCH? I'd rather watch a cooking contest between them, where Jim serves roadkill and Fuji serves Jim his hound. The 6'7" Hillbilly Jim is selling for old, washed Mr. Fuji. Fuji with a low blow to remove the last of Jim's shirt, leaving just his pants. Jim makes the valiant comeback and tears off Fuji's pants to earn the W at 4:00. I'm sure two or three people found this amusing. No rating, but it was a waste of my time.BREAKING NEWS: Sivi Afi, who was injured at the hands of the Honkytonk Man, has recovered and demanded the Honkytonk Man NOW!
Sivi Afi vs. The Honkytonk Man:
Great, I was almost upset we were going to be robbed of this, but Sivi Afi is a trooper. Sivi rushes the ring and fights off another ambush attempt. Honky is begging off, but Afi will have none of it. Whip to the ropes and Afi with a diving headbutt, followed by some dancing. Unless Honky is begging off, the crowd doesn't react much to anything else. Afi plays to the crowd and drops a headbutt across the midsection for a two-count. Monsoon questions how Jimmy Hart is a "Colonel", a nickname bestowed upon him by Honky. Afi meets knees going for a splash from the middle rope. Honky with a series of axe-handles to the body. This match is dying a death because it's a babyface the crowd doesn't give a crap for and Honky doesn't do anything that well beyond the occasional schtick. The more he actually wrestles, the more the crowd dies. Honky with a flying fist drop for a near-fall. Whip and Afi surprises Honky with a sunset flip for two. Afi no-sells some punches (after selling for the fist drop). Honky blocks a monkey-flip attempt and finishes with the Shake Rattle ‘n' Roll at 7:03. This was no good, and felt longer than 7-minutes. ½*Tito Santana comes out for his match and gets into a confrontation with the Honkytonk Man, so Honky attacks the knee, leaving him hobbled.
Tito Santana vs. Hercules:
The referee calls for the start of the match despite Santana clearly not being ready to start and being forced into the ring by Hercules. Heenan briefly left the broadcast table, but soon resumed his duties as color commentary. Hercules punishes the knee and hooks a grapevine, but Santana forces a break in the ropes. Hercules maintains control, still working the leg. Santana grabs a double handful of hair and the referee is cool with it. You can tell they're going long when THIS is FIVE MINUTES OF THE MATCH. Santana keeps fighting out of holds but cannot regain verticality. Sooner or later, the referee needs to make a judgment call. Hercules wraps the leg around the post and plays to the crowd. Santana has mounted ZERO offense, just defensive escapes. As I type that, Santana rocks Hercules with a big forearm. Santana grabs a side headlock, but Hercules quickly counters, targeting the knee again.Hercules makes a rare trip to the top rope and meets knees coming off for a splash. I'm sure that was good for Santana's already injured knee! Now Santana chops at the knee of Hercules, ripping off the pad. Now it's Hercules' turn to feel the cold steel of the ring post. "I'm calling him Hernandez now because he doesn't look like Hercules anymore." Santana with the Figure-Four and this place has gone bananas. Heenan abandons his spot at the table and rings the bell himself, tricking Santana into releasing the hold. Monsoon stooges him off to the referee. The Fink announces the official time has NOT elapsed and the match will continue. Santana repeatedly clips the knee of Hercules and wraps him up in the ropes. Hercules goes to the eyes to create separation. He scoops Santana up for a slam, but the knee buckles and Tito lands on top for a two-count. Santana tries for the Figure-Four, but Hercules kicks him into the ropes. Heenan gets a shot in to distract Santana, allowing Hercules to hit him with a knee and cover for three at 16:54. I got what they were trying for, but very little of this excited me, and felt like they were killing time until the last couple of minutes, complete with some goofy shenanigans and a weak finish. *½
BREAKING NEWS: Hulk Hogan will defend his WWF Heavyweight Championship in a return match against Kamala on January 19th.
Final Thoughts: A decent portion up until Intermission and not very much after that. The best matches all had their own issues, however, but when looking at what the WWF was presenting at this time, you almost have to throw up your hands and accept what you're given, because loaded cards of high quality effort were not the norm, even if we've seen a couple of arena cards that would trick you into believing otherwise. If you have this available to you, and you really love the era, watch through Hogan vs. Kamala and turn it off. Hillbilly Jim vs Mr. Fuji isn't even amusing as a train-wreck.
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