WWF At Madison Square Garden
October 20, 1986
by Scrooge McSuck
Feels like it's been a while since we've been to the mecca of professional sports. After a handful of stops at the Boston Garden, Philadelphia Spectrum, and Toronto's Maple Leaf Gardens, we're finally home in New York City... with one of the WEIRDEST cards you will EVER see for your largest market! The headlining match will be a $50,000 Tag Team Battle Royal, and all the matches will feature members of those tag teams in individual action. Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes and "Mean" Gene Okerlund are all sitting ringside to call the action, unless otherwise noted. Something tells me some adult beverages were going to be consumed by the middle of the show. The WWF ran a second show in Nashville, TN, but no results are available.
B. Brian Blair vs. Brutus Beefcake:
Considering their positions in the company, this should be a victory for Beefcake. I don't know the results of the card, so my guesses are legitimate. Lockup into the ropes and Blair gives a clean break. They fight for control of a hammerlock, with Blair getting the better of the exchange and going to work on the arm. Brutus forces a break in the corner and takes a cheap shot, but Blair quickly fights free and goes back to the arm. Brutus tries to escape with a slam, but Blair rolls through with control of the hold. Blair works like he belongs in Jim Crockett Promotions. That's not a negative, just an observation. Beefcake's cheap shot backfires and Blair plants him with a back suplex for a two-count. Beefcake takes over, laying into Blair with a series of rights. The referee makes no effort to stop Beefcake from trying to crush Blair's throat with the bottom of his foot. Whip to the corner and Brutus charges in with an elbow. Snap mare and forearm across the chest for a two-count. Beefcake with an atomic drop that looks like he legit drove his knee into Blair's tailbone. Blair fights out of a seated chin-lock and unloads with right hands. Beefcake wants mercy, but Blair rejects the request and rakes the eyes across the top rope. Whip to the ropes and Blair with a hooking clothesline for two. Whip to the ropes, Blair hits a cross body press, but Beefcake rolls through and hooks the tights for the three-count at 10:18. Beefcake was mostly worthless here, but Blair did his best to polish a turd. **Tama vs. Moondog Rex:
We're going to get some wacky matches on this card. The Islanders are definitely slotted ahead of the Moondogs, who are as low as you can be for a name, so this should be Tama (formerly the Tonga Kid) going over. The referee tests my patience, taking forever with the pre-match instructions. Rex grabs a side headlock. Extended running of the ropes ends with Tama nailing Rex with a big chop. Rex stuns Tama with a forearm, but the turnbuckle has no effect. Tama with a snap mare out of the corner into a chin-lock. Rex forces a break and lands a series of elbows to the midsection. Whip to the ropes, Tama rolls under an elbow and hits a cross body press for two. Tama with a series of chops and headbutts, knocking Rex into the Andre Special. Tama gets too aggressive and a diving press misses, causing Tama to take a nasty bump to the concrete floor. Rex brings Tama in from the apron with a delayed suplex for a near-fall. Tama gets slammed into the buckles and Rex slows it down with a bearhug. Tama escapes but runs into a clothesline. Tama smacks the ears to escape a second bearhug and fires off a series of rights. Whip and Tama with a BAAAAACK body-drop. Whip to the corner, Tama drops Rex with a chop, and finishes with a flying body press at 8:22. Decent match and kept at a reasonable length. **½Super Machine vs. King Kong Bundy:
Man, I thought we were done with the Machines and the Heenan Family. For those who have trouble keeping track, Super is Bill Eadie, formerly known as The Masked Superstar and well known by my generation as Ax of Demolition. Please tell me we won't get Mulligan vs Studd later in this show. Lockup into the corner and Bundy whiffs with an overhand strike. Whip to the corner, the Machine pops out with a clothesline and takes Bundy off his feet with a body press. Bundy with a series of clubbing blows, but he misses an elbow drop. Machine goes for another body press, but Bundy catches and counters with a back-breaker. Whip to the ropes, Machine ducks a clothesline and drops the big man with his own. Whip to the corner is reversed and Bundy hits the Avalanche out of nowhere for the three-count at 3:20. Well that was quick. I don't like rating matches this short, but it was fine for a 3-minute hoss battle.The Dynamite Kid vs. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart:
I have no idea what to expect from this. Neidhart in a singles match doesn't give me much confidence, but with Dynamite before his back blew on him? There's a chance to get something. Dynamite is one half of the reigning Tag Team Champions and the Hart Foundation were getting a decent push, so this could go either way. Lockup to the corner and Neidhart whiffs a wild right hand. Neidhart calls for a test-of-strength and immediately starts throwing boots to the midsection. Whip and Dynamite with a cross body press, a spot we've seen in every match so far. Back inside, Dynamite with a series of shoulder blocks and a drop toe hold into the arm bar. Neidhart with an escape and knee into the midsection. Dynamite gets dumped and slammed on the concrete floor. Back inside, Neidhart continues to punish the back, but misses a flying splash. Dynamite with a missile dropkick. Whip to the ropes and he lays Anvil out with the clothesline. Dynamite misses a dive into the ropes, but manages to spin through them and creeps up on Neidhart with a surprise roll-up for the three count at 5:51. Another decent match that didn't overstay its welcome. **
Jacques Rougeau vs. The Iron Sheik (w/ Nikolai Volkoff):
I feel like this is a show I would book with my Wrestling Figure Federation. Sheik taunts the crowd with the usual routine and jumps Jacques before the bell. Whip to the ropes and Sheik with a chop to the throat. Why Volkoff is allowed at ringside is beyond me. Sheik finally removes his head gear and chokes Rougeau with it. Whip to the corner and Jacques surprises Sheik with a twisting body press for a two-count. Jacques unloads with rights as Volkoff finally leaves ringside. Sheik powders and demands space to get back in the ring. Jacques with more rights and a dropkick. Crisscross (including a leap frog from Sheik!) ends with Rougeau taking Sheik over with a hip toss. Jacques catches a boot, spins Sheik around and connects with an atomic drop. Snap mare and jumping knee drop for two. Sheik counters a back body-drop attempt with a kick to the chest, knocking Jacques out of the ring. Back inside, Sheik disrespects Jacques by spitting on him. HAWK-TUAH! Sheik with a poorly applied abdominal stretch. U-S-A chant to rally the French-Canadian Jacques Rougeau. Sheik with a gut-wrench suplex for two. Jacques blocks a suplex and counters with his own, but is again thrown to the outside before he can build momentum. Jacques comes back in with a sunset flip and that's good for the surprise three-count at 7:31! Wow, Jacques Rougeau just pinned the former WWF Champion clean as a sheet. Another good, but unremarkable match. **½We get a LIVE edition of Piper's Pit, and the crowd welcomes Roddy Piper with cheers. "The Boss is back! I'm not used to a lot of people cheering for me, and I want you to understand something, I ain't running for President, and I'm still the same no good son of a b*tch I've always been!" He's tired of seeing Adrian Adonis every Saturday Morning. There's a bleep that I'm sure covered a naughty F word that I wouldn't want to type. Piper says he broke his arm and we will never see another episode of the Flower Shop. Piper asks "how bout them Mets?!" and the crowd mostly boos. "They may be down 3-2, but this is your team and you gotta show up!" Maybe they were Yankee fans booing. His guest was his partner at WrestleMania 1 (and lost, by the way), and his new manager, "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff and Bobby Heenan.
Heenan comes out alone and mentions the Red Sox, so Piper offers a bet that the Mets take the series. Heenan says Piper wears a skirt and Piper warns him it's a kilt if he wants to keep his head on his shoulders. Piper asks where Mr. Blunderful is. Heenan says he's looking at him (Piper) and will give a proper introduction to the greatest wrestling machine in professional wrestling. Orndorff comes out to "Real American", of course. The last time Piper saw Orndorff in MSG, he was laying on his back with his a$$ in the air. Shirts are taken off and Orndorff is ready for a fight. "The music that I just heard kinda rings a bell… is it original?" Orndorff says it's his and Hogan stole it from him. Piper has the Wrestling Album and knows who it was written for (The U.S. Express?). Orndorff shuts Piper down for bragging about beating up a wimp manager. Heenan says 100 people would gladly team with Orndorff and Piper asks for one name that will team with him. After struggling for a while, they blurt out The King of Professional Wrestling, Harley Race. Now Heenan asks Piper who he can get for his partner. Piper plays to the crowd and brings VLADIMIR THE SUPERFAN on the apron! "If you were to pick a partner, who would it be?" "HULK HOGAN!" Orndorff loses his mind as Piper casually takes a walk. This was WAY too long for the point they wanted to get across, but since it's the most star power of the night, I'm sure the crowd loved every second of it.
Mike Rotundo vs. Jumpin' Jim Brunzell:
Wow, this is the most meat-and-potatoes white meat battle of the babyface I could possibly come up with from the field of teams available on this night. We get a nice handshake before the bell. They jockey for position and no one can get clear control. Brunzell counters a pair of headlocks, but is finally caught on the third try. We get our International and they stalemate fighting for a hip toss. Brunzell with a jumping head-scissors to put Rotundo on defense. Rotundo with an escape and briefly applies a bow-and-arrow, but they're too close to the ropes. Brunzell starts working the leg, which might seem a little heelish, but he's not doing anything illegal. This WWF crowd doesn't seem too impressed by Brunzell's AWA Tribute Match. Rotundo throws a forearm and connects with an atomic drop. Lockup to the ropes and Brunzell pops Rotundo with forearms! Snap mare and Brunzell with a leg drop for a two-count. Brunzell rings Rotundo's bell and takes him over with another snap mare. Rotundo blocks a spinning toe hold and takes Brunzell over with a monkey-flip. Whip to the ropes and Rotundo blocks a sunset flip, landing a right hand between the eyes. Rotundo with a slam for two. He tries another and Brunzell counters with a small package for two. Whip to the ropes and Brunzell with an awful abdominal stretch. Rotundo counters and Gorilla swoons over his technique. Crisscross and they smack heads for a double-down. Brunzell recovers first and grabs a sleeper, but Rotundo backpedals into the corner for a break. Brunzell counters a suplex and connects with an atomic drop. Rotundo scoops Brunzell up and they tumble over the top rope, and we get a lame Double Count-Out at 8:11. Well, they were trying, but the crowd didn't care and the finish stunk, so it's just another OK match. I'm getting bored saying that. **¼Davey Boy Smith vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine:
How many more matches do we have before we get to tonight's Battle Royal? Valentine heels on Matilda, because we needed to bring that poor dog out twice. Lockup into the ropes and Valentine with a nice little shove. Davey is looking juiced to the gills. They lockup again and this time Davey with a shove. He catches a boot, slaps Valentine around, and sends him crashing to the canvas with a headbutt. Valentine works the arm, but Davey does his signature counter (including some rolls and a nip up) to take control with an arm bar. Valentine scoops Davey up with the hold still applied and connects with a back breaker for a two-count. The Hammer grabs a BEARHUG of all things. They fight over trying to pin each other down by the wrists, and this goes on for a surprisingly long time. Davey gets dumped, because we haven't seen enough of that tonight. Back inside, Valentine with a shoulder breaker for two. Davey counters the Figure-Four with a small package for a two-count. Valentine keeps working the leg, which means he's almost fully warmed up. Davey clocks Valentine with an enzuigiri and turns him over with a Sharpshooter (called a Boston Crab with a grapevine). They fight for a suplex, with Davey winning out. Davey hits the running Powerslam but Valentine has a foot on the ropes. Valentine powders and Davey follows. This leads to a weak chase around the ring, with Valentine blasting Davey with a boot to the face. Valentine with a snap mare and elbow drop. The Figure-Four is applied and this time it's Davey fighting to the ropes to force a break. Davey Boy doesn't take kindly to being slapped around and responds with slaps of his own. He sends Valentine across the ring with a dropkick. He keeps bringing the fight, but Valentine picks the legs for a weak stack-up, using the ropes to secure the three-count at 13:02. This was the best match on the card (so far), but that finish looked like cheeks. **¾S.D. Jones vs. Moondog Spot:
Why in the holy hell is Special Delivery Jones on this card featuring all the top tag teams in the company?! Spot is introduced at a weight of 274 pounds, 35 pounds higher than Jones, but Jones is clearly the bigger of the two. I'M KILLING KAYFABE, PEOPLE! Lockup into the ropes and Spot gives a nice shove as Monsoon talks about the scar on S.D's back. Spot sends Jones to the turnbuckle and it has zero effect. Jones catches the Spot off the ropes with a slam and goes to work on the arm. Spot with a slap to the face. He leads Jones on a chase around the ring and cuts him off with a clothesline. Whip to the ropes and Spot counters a back body-drop attempt with a punt to the chest. Jones no-sells more shots to the head (I don't want to know the kayfabe reasoning why, I just know it was always the guys with the same physical characteristics). Back inside, Jones blocks a suplex and counters with his own. Spot cuts him, working the midsection. They do another crisscross sequence, leading to a head-smack double-down. Jones starts his comeback with some slow right jabs, trapping Spot in the ropes. Spot misses a flying nothing and Jones hits him with a big headbutt for the surprise victory at 9:37. Wow, losing to SD JONES in 1986?! Rough day for Spot. No surprise, this was the weakest match of the night. Jones did little and barely sold anything. I know, it must be a day ending in "Y". *Haku vs. Nikolai Volkoff:
Only a couple of more singles matches to get through. I have no hopes for a Volkoff singles match, so I'm begging it's 5-minutes or fewer. Volkoff with the easy heat of singing the Soviet Anthem. Haku interrupts for the easier babyface pop, hitting Volkoff with a dropkick and knocking him out of the ring. Volkoff goes to the eyes and nails Haku with the world's worst clothesline. He swung so high he barely made any contact with the top of his head. Haku pops right up and smacks Volkoff with a headbutt. Whip is reversed and Volkoff with a second, much better looking clothesline, before tossing Haku out of the ring. Haku picks the leg and wraps it around the post. Back inside, Volkoff fights out of a leg grapevine and goes back to his usual work. Second match in a row where the babyface no-sells being rammed into the turnbuckle. Volkoff digs into his tights and pops Haku in the throat with the gimmick. Volkoff with an O'Connor Roll, but Haku slips free as he makes an attempt to grab the tights. Haku ducks a clothesline and a sloppy roll-up gets three at 4:51 despite Volkoff having his shoulder up at least three times. Even the babyface commentators called it a terrible finish. These two had ZERO chemistry and the finish was terrible. ZERO STARSRaymond Rougeau vs. Bret "Hitman" Hart:
At least we're ending our streak of crummy matches at two, unless these two have an out of body experience and completely dial it in. Raymond snatches the glasses off Bret's face and stomps on them. HOW RUDE! Raymond with a pair of arm drags, sending Hart to the floor to rethink his strategy. Monsoon compares Bret to Bob Orton, which makes sense, since he uses the "Excellence of Execution" line for both of them. We get the standard international sequence, ending with a monkey-flip and sending Bret to the floor again. Bret tries to pull off the same trick, but Raymond puts on the brakes and stomps his face. Bret finally cuts Raymond off, going to the eyes and hitting an inverted atomic drop. Bret punishes the midsection and scrambles Raymond's brains with a headbutt. Raymond tries to fight out of a headlock, but Bret yanks the hair to maintain control. Raymond escapes and takes Bret over with a sunset flip, but Bret doesn't waste time regaining control of the action, working Raymond over in the corner. Raymond starts his comeback, slamming Bret into the turnbuckle and throwing him across the ring with a handful of hair. He connects with a dropkick, but Bret is in the ropes. Raymond with a piledriver for a near-fall. Raymond catches a boot in the corner and connects with an atomic drop. The referee keeps getting in the way, allowing Bret to sweep the legs and stack Raymond up, using the ropes for leverage to get the three-count at 8:34. We're repeating finishes now. Match was good, but nothing special. **½$50,000 Tag Team Battle Royal:
(Participants: The Moondogs (Rex and Spot), The Rougeau Brothers (Jacques and Raymond), The Dream Team (Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake), The Indians (Chief Jay Strongbow and Steve Gatorwolf), The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart), Mike Rotundo and S.D. Jones, The Islanders (Haku and Tama), Nikolai Volkoff and The Iron Sheik, The Killer Bees (Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell), The Machines (Super and Big Machine), The British Bulldogs (Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith), Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy)We've got 12 teams in total, and if one member of a team is thrown out, that means both members of the team are eliminated from the competition. Weird that the CHAMPIONS aren't the last team introduced. Moondog Spot is dumped like 9-seconds in, and hell if I can see who was responsible. It's just a lot of hugging and punching while we wait for more eliminations. Jones is dumped at 3:26, looks like it was by Iron Sheik. Groups of people go for Bundy and Studd, unsuccessfully. Gatorwolf is sent packing at 4:10, as if Strongbow's dusty old a$$ was going to take a bump in this. Super Machine sends The Iron Sheik packing at 4:53. Bret Hart and Dynamite Kid take each other out at 5:27 and keep fighting at ringside. The Tag Team Champions felt like such nobodies in this entire thing. Beefcake eliminates Jumping Jim at 7:14. There's nothing of interest happening between eliminations, we're still in that era. Studd sends Jacques Rougeau to the showers at 8:09. We've got the Islanders, Dream Team, Machines, and Studd and Bundy left. The Machine dips his shoulder and dumps Beefcake at 8:36 as I typed that last sentence. Bundy and Studd work together to toss the Big Machine at 8:59, and we're down to two! Studd/Haku and Bundy/Tama pair-off, trading blows. Bundy crushes Tama with an Avalanche. Studd holds Haku for a clothesline, but Bundy accidentally knocks his own partner out at 10:41, giving the Islanders the victory. They kept teasing a Bundy and Studd split, but Studd would leave the WWF a week later following the TV taping in Glens Falls, NY. He would return two years later as a babyface, and we all know how well that one worked out. Battle Royal was your typical nothing formula of the era and not worth checking out.
Final Thoughts: While we have plenty of decent matches throughout the card, it was a very repetitive formula to a lot of them. When you have 9 or 10 matches all following the same spots, you realize why doing a show like this is a terrible idea. How many matches featured the international, a babyface wrestler being thrown to the floor for a powder, and a roll-up/stack-up with the ropes finish? It's not a harsh recommendation to avoid, but I don't think there's much here to go out of your way for, with no hidden gems to give the hard-sell for a recommended viewing. Skip it, but not because it's terrible, just because it's kinda boring.
Sound Off!
Comment about this article on Da' Wrestling Boards!