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WWF at The Boston Garden
October 4, 1986
by Scrooge McSuck
Welcome to another fun-filled show from the Boston Garden. I'm actually typing this introduction with zero knowledge of what to expect on the card, so take that with a grain of salt. As we've seen lately, things can be very hit and miss around this time, but as long as the roster is spread evenly, we should get at least a couple of matches worth checking out. This is the WWE Old School version, which only runs 90-minutes. Gorilla Monsoon and "Mean" Gene Okerlund are calling the action, unless otherwise noted. The WWF also ran shows in Indianapolis, IN (featuring The Bulldogs vs Sheik and Volkoff, and Steamboat vs. Roberts) and Jackson, MS (with Hogan defending the WWF Title against Hercules), so we're definitely spread thin today.
Rudy Diamond vs. Mr. X:
We're bringing out the stars tonight! Rudy Diamond is introduced from Boston, MA and gets a half-hearted pop for being a local. I don't think I've ever seen Rudy before, but he's working barefoot, so that's always fun. Mr. X is the alter alias of Mr. Danny Davis. I accidentally typed that as Danny Spivey and thankfully caught my mistake later. Rita Chatterton is the referee, pretty late in her time with the company. The lights are turned down lower than normal for Boston. X with a side headlock takeover and Diamond quickly counters with a head-scissors. They do the worst, most slow-motion waist-lock takeover I've ever seen. Like Day 1 of training levels of execution. Monsoon and Okerlund complement Diamond's chicken and broccoli diet. More training class performance and I desperately want to fast forward, but I'll be a trooper. The crowd is booing them out of the building while they fight over a top wrist-lock. We're in trouble when Davis needs to hold someone's hand through a basic match. Diamond can't even slam Davis properly. X escapes a headlock and hits Diamond with a diving clothesline for three at 7:30. I think Diamond tried kicking out, but they went home anyway. I'll be kind and say Diamond had no business being in the ring in front of an audience of this size. However, I won't be kind and say the match was god awful and well deserving of this rating. -**
Pedro Morales vs. "Ace Cowboy" Bob Orton:
Oh come on, we're wasting Orton on broken-down Morales?! At least the Boston crowd is into Morales, I guess. Lockup and Morales let go, sending Orton crashing into the turnbuckle. They do it again and Orton almost falls over the top rope. Morales with a side headlock and shoulder block for a quick two-count. He ducks a clothesline and sends Orton to the floor for a powder following an atomic drop. Orton uses the referee as a shield to sneak in but Morales shrugs it off and continues to get the better of things. Gene Okerlund congratulates the Boston Red Sox for winning the Eastern Division of the American League. Orton finally gets Morales to sell by choking him with some ringside cables. Even Orton can't get anything out of Morales. Orton knocks him through the ropes and almost spills Monsoon's beverage! Orton brings Morales in from the apron with a delayed suplex for a near-fall. Orton springs off the middle rope with a splash for another two-count. He tries it again but this time Morales gets the knees up. Morales with the comeback, calling spots so blatantly. Morales with a small package for two. Orton avoids a charge to the corner and positions Morales across the turnbuckle. Morales blocks the super-plex attempt and hits a flying sunset flip, but Orton rolls through and stacks him up for three at 10:44 (with a handful of tights for insurance). Morales argues with the referee. Hey, we've got a bad Bob Orton match! Anti-miracles happen too! *
WWF Intercontinental Championship; No DQ Match:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage (c) vs. George "The Animal" Steele:
Oh my GOD, how many times did they run Savage vs Steele?! Savage doesn't come out at first, choosing to ambush Steele instead. Maybe he was delayed because he couldn't properly lock the closet that he stuffed Elizabeth into earlier in the day. Steele withstands the series of kicks and knee strikes and sends Savage flying through the ropes for a crash landing on the parquet floor. Steele attempts to rip open a turnbuckle, allowing another ambush, but he fights Savage off and tears the robe off his back (literally) before going back to the turnbuckle stuffing. "If he can't have Elizabeth, he can have one of those." Savage with robe, choking Steele with it. Why is the referee count? It's no DQ! Savage with a pair of flying axe-handle smashes. The action spills to the floor, where the robe is used for a hangman's choke in a surprisingly good spot from Steele. Savage rolls back in the ring and… Steele is counted out at 3:49. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Savage tries to use a foreign object, but Steele fights it out of his hands and jams him in the face with it, busting him open in the process. Even the referee gets jabbed with the object! Say it with me… another bad match. ½*
The Machines vs. Big John Studd, King Kong Bundy, and Bobby Heenan:
Not a good sign when I'm checking the clock already. The Machines are represented by Super (Bill Eadie), Big (Blackjack Mulligan) and the even-more mysterious PIPER Machine. Don't quote me, but I think it might be Junkyard Dog. The WWF was doing a big "Machine" gimmick push to push tickets since the Machines weren't getting over on their own, even getting Hulk Hogan in on the fun at times. Okerlund can't even bother to play along with the fun of Piper Machine… and then Piper just pulls his mask off to taunt Heenan, so I'll shut up now. Super Machine starts with Bundy. Bundy with clubbing blows but he misses an avalanche and Super hits him with a cross body press for two. Big and Big go at it as Monsoon claims to know the identity of Big Machine. Piper comes in and takes Studd over with a sunset flip! We get heel miscommunication and Piper pokes Studd in the eyes for good measure. After a bunch of shtick, Studd starts to get Piper Machine to sell. Heenan tags in and hurts himself trying to whack Piper's knee. Piper continues to play the Machine in Peril, and Heenan again ends up selling when executing an offensive maneuver. Big Machine gets the hot tag and lays into everyone with rights. He goes for a slam on Studd, but you know the rest, and now Big Machine is selling. Studd gets him up for a slam for a two-count. Piper gets the REAL hot tag. He rips the mask off and slaps Studd in the face with it. HOLY CRAP, IT'S RODDY PIPER! He gets Studd up and slams. Bundy comes in for the save, accidentally hitting Studd with an elbow, and Piper covers him for three at 10:15. This might be the worst Boston card I've ever seen, and we're only halfway home. You've got four refrigerators wrestling mixed with two guys doing comedy. *
The Islanders vs. Jimmy Jack Funk & Mr. X:
What the... we're getting a double helping of Mr. X?!?! The Islanders are introduced as such, as well as their new names of Haku and Tama. This match made it to the Best of the WWF Vol. 10, which is in the archives, but we'll give it a fresh look since I've already suffered so much already. Tama and Mr. X start. Lockup and Tama with a little shimmy after the break. OK. No mention from either Gorilla or Gene about Mr. X working twice. Crisscross and Tama with a big chop. Jimmy Jack tags in and the Islanders take turns working the arm. Haku with a clothesline, knocking Funk over the top rope. Mr. X back in, and he's not doing much better. Whip and a double chop, followed by a back-breaker from Haku. Funk with a knee to the back of Tama to swing momentum in his team's favor. The crowd does NOT care about this one at all. X with a snap mare into a chin-lock. Jimmy Jack with a flying fist drop for a near-fall. Tama with a sunset flip but X makes the save. Jimmy Jack with a swinging neck breaker for two. Tama blocks a second attempt and takes Funk over with a snap suplex. The referee misses the tag. Tama and Funk with a clothesline double-down, setting up Haku with the hot tag. He runs wild on Mr. X with chops and a slam for two. Haku with a suplex and Tama finishes with a flying splash at 12:16. It picked up late, but I wouldn't call it a good match. *½
Jerry Allen vs. Sika (w/ The Wizard):
This show just keeps getting better. Allen is laughably introduced as 257 pounds, probably a solid 60 pounds over his legit weight. I don't remember exactly when Sika made his return, but I feel it wasn't too long before this, as more talent was brought in when they made the syndication rebranding in early September. Lockup and Sika shoves Allen into the ropes. Sika goes to the eyes as The Wizard (Curtis Iaukea) babbles nonsense at ringside. Sika with a snap mare into a chin-lock. Okerlund gets a word from the Wizard and I just want to shoot myself. Monsoon calls the Wizard obnoxious and smelly. Allen tries mounting some offense, but Sika isn't selling anything tonight. More screaming from the Wizard has me wishing I was watching a compilation on The Dungeon of Doom. Allen gets about 5-seconds of shine before Sika cuts him off and finishes with a headbutt at 6:17. The torture is almost over, but not before suffering through another turd. ZERO STARS
Tito Santana vs. "King" Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Final match of the night. THANK GOD. Can we please get ONE good match out of this entire card?! Santana and Race may not be lighting the world on fire in the Fall of 1986, but there's hope at least. Heenan looks completely dejected from the Six-Man Tag earlier in the night. Lockup and Race with a knee to the midsection. Santana avoids a headbutt and unloads with rights as Okerlund questions Heenan about any dissension between Studd and Bundy. Race attempts a piledriver but Santana counters. Race does the teeter between the ropes and comically tumbles down the ring steps. Back inside, Santana slams Race face-first into the canvas for a two-count. Race counters a front face-lock by ramming Santana into the corner. Snap mare and Race comes off the ropes with a headbutt. Race connects with the piledriver on the second attempt while Heenan yells at Monsoon and Okerlund to get on one knee when Race walks away victorious. Santana mounts a comeback, working the left leg. Race blocks the Figure-Four, booting Santana in the face. Heenan yelling at Monsoon and Okerlund continues to be a highlight. Santana with another comeback, unloading with right hands. Heenan is too close for comfort and Santana works in a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER. Race goes low on the blind side of the referee. He hits Santana with a delayed atomic drop, followed by a forearm across the chest. Whip to the corner, Race hits a bridging back suplex and it's good for three at 12:09. BUT WAIT! Tito Santana got his shoulder up while Race had his down, so SANTANA was awarded the victory! This was perfectly fine, making it the best match of the night. **½
Final Thoughts: If a bunch of enhancement geeks, washed up stars of the 70's, and the 800th match between Randy Savage and George Steel is your cup of tea, then this is the show for you! Not only are we stretched thin on star power, this card feels like a day off from most involved, regardless of their position on the card. With only one match out of seven that I'd consider a positive, this is easily one of the worst shows I've ever watched from the Boston Garden.
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