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TNA Slammiversary 2008
by Jillie

The intro was full of as many Elvis titles as humanly possible. So cheesy. The best part of the cheese is that they’re not even IN Memphis. They’re not even in TENNESEE. They’re “minutes away” from that state.

TNA X Division Champion Petey Williams vs Kaz
Petey Williams is wearing a face mask to protect against a broken nose. The first part of this match is very back and forth with lots of pin-fall opportunities. Both men try their finishers within moments of the bell. Petey rolls to the outside for a break and Kaz is in control. Petey goes out again to get his head straight but Kaz follows him out. After rolling Petey in the ring, he comes face to nipple with Rhaka Khan. The distraction allows Petey to hit Kaz with a high risk move to the outside. Petey Williams now assumes control of the match. Scott Stiener distracts the ref allowing Petey to get in a cheap shot, but Kaz manages to turn the match around with two quick roll up opportunities. Kaz rolls to the outside where Petey hits him with an over-the-to-to-the-outside hurricanrana. The match goes back into the ring where Petey takes it to Kaz and tries for a pin. Petey works on Kaz’ arm with several submission type moves. Kaz turns the match back in his favour by dodging an Irish Whip combo and kicking Petey in the face. Both men are down, but upon their recovery, Kaz clearly has the advantage. Kaz hits a slingshot DDT for the cover, to no avail. Petey gets the better of Kaz with a hesitation drop kick and takes him down with a twirly move of some kind. Petey motions for the Canadian Destroying, but Kaz defends himself. After another turn around and pin attempt by Petey Williams, Steiner yells at the ref as Petey goes to the top rope. Kaz gets to his feet and kicks Petey in the head. Kaz tries for the Flux Capacitor, but Petey reverses it into a possible Canadian Destroyer from the top rope. The two are fighting on the ropes and Petey falls to the outside. Petey rolls in quickly and tries for yet another Canadian Destroyer. Kaz won’t let Petey follow through and drops him on the head. Kaz only gets a two count, prompting Rhaka Khan to get in the ring. Kaz sees her, though, and drop kicks her as Steiner throws in a lead pipe. Petey takes advantage as the ref checks on Rhaka. Petey, however, still doesn’t get the cover. Kaz is busted open badly and Petey throws off his face guard. Petey goes for a Canadian Destroying again, but Kaz rolls him up. Petey puts on a Sharpshooter and Kaz reverses. Kaz tries for the Wave of the Future but can’t make the cover. Both men are down. Kaz goes to the top rope and Steiner comes up to interfere. Kaz kicks him off, tries to roll up Kaz, but Petey finally gets a Canadian Destroyer in for the win. All of the Freaks take their turns beating up on Kaz. Steiner gets a mic tells Kaz that he’s in the wrong place at the wrong time and precedes to demand a World Title shot.

And who, pray tell is going to make the save!? ABYSS! Wooo! He has a new outfit - white hospital scrubs with his name and number on the back, but is still wearing his mask (grey, to match his new getup) – and slightly new entrance music. Abyss and Steiner stare each other down for a second, but Steiner grabs Petey and throws him straight into Abyss’ Black Hole Slam. Steiner is the next victim, and Abyss turns to Khan. Khan has a pipe but is clearly scared. Abyss looks like he’s going to let her go, but ends up Black Hole Slamming her in the end. Abyss ends by picking Kaz up and (presumably) carrying him to the back. The announcers ignore this, however, although I think it’s quite significant.

This was a great match, with much back and forth action. Kaz got screwed wonderfully in the end, and hopefully this will lead to a good feud for Petey (who has been without one for a while) and another quality X Division Match. This was a great way to open the show! I’d also like to say that Petey looks gay with his new facial hair. Also, how does Khan walk on them there heels? Just saying. The return of Abyss was completely unexpected at this junction of the show, and it was great. I’m not going to lie; I marked out.

As the announcers are running down the rest of the card, EY interrupts saying that he’s found Elvis and he’s on his way to the show.

Kevin Nash Promo
A run down of Nash since Joe and he have been having problems plays before we see JB and Nash in an interview. JB asks if it’s personal or business and Nash replies that it’s business and Joe is his investment. He says that if Joe wins, Nash cashes in.

Knockout Promo
This entire first part of this promo is clearly a shot at the WWE Divas, as they knock pillow fights and lingerie. The Beautiful People’s enforcer’s name is Moose!? Haha. That’s funny for some reason.

Angelina Love, Velvet Sky and Moose vs ODB, Gail Kim and Roxxi Laveaux
I somehow have a problem with Moose. She is clearly not a “Beautiful People,” and yet here she is, hanging out with the skanks, as it were. I hope they stick to their characters and mistreat Moose a little, treat her as inferior. Gail Kim comes out with her knee still taped up. My wish is granted as the bell rings. Love and Sky bail, leaving Moose alone with all three of their opponents. All the face girls get their shots in before sending her to the outside at the feet of Love and Sky. Love and Sky try to walk out on the match but Kim and ODB stop them. This leaves Roxxi in the ring with Moose. Roxxi is in control, not allowing Moose to get any shots in. Roxxi tries to bounce off the ropes, Love trips her up, and Moose is able to capitalize. Moose tags in Sky, and she, after getting her shots in, tags in Love. The BPs and Moose now have Roxxi isolated. Moose is tagged back in and shows off her obvious strength advantage. The BPs continue to make fast tags and isolate Roxxi. Roxxi finally turns things around after Sky tries a roll up but ends up with a boot in the face. Roxxi makes the tag to Kim, who levels Sky with several clotheslines and elbows. Kim takes out Sky’s partners before going to the top rope and landing on Sky for the cover. Love stops Kim from bouncing off the ropes and re-injures Kim’s knee. Sky takes advantage by working on Kim’s knee. Even though Kim gets in a quick roll up, the BPs are able to keep her isolated and continue to work on her knee, using classic heel techniques, such as pulling the ropes away so Kim can’t break a submission hold. ODB finally has enough, and makes the save as Moose tries to put on a submission hold, but Moose still retains control of the match. Kim reverses a submission hold by climbing with her hands up the ropes and snapping off a hurricanrana (really cool!), giving her enough of a break to tag in ODB, who quickly cleans house. Moose gets the advantage for about 3 seconds before being spat upon with liquor. ODB makes the pin, but Sky and Love interfere. Kim and Roxxi make the save, chasing the BPs out. ODB hits a running powerslam on Moose for the pin and victory.

What a match! So much action! I could hardly keep up! I love this Knockout division. They kick ass, every single one of them. These women take as many hits as any of the men, and certainly hold their own in the ring.

Rhino Promo
There is a quick video package on why Rhino will win the KOTM before we see him and Lauren (the previously unnamed interviewer lady). Rhino says things about second chances, forgiveness, etc, etc. They typical former-alcoholic rhetoric. Very touching. Kind of lame.

LAX vs 3D promo
Running down the differences and similarities of the two teams, hyping their match.

TNA Tag Team Champions LAX w/Salinas and Hector Guerrero vs 3D
As 3D is entering the ring, I see a wonderful sign that says “Use My Sign.” Funny. It’s Hernandez and Devon to start. The two big men eye each other up and are mostly evenly matched. Hernandez tags in Homicide for the double team, giving LAX the advantage for a second until Devon tags in Ray. Ray insults Homicide’s size, and Homicide insults Ray’s “size,” if you’re pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down. The two go back and forth, Ray using his size advantage and Homicide using his speed and agility. Geez, Ray is whiney, even in the ring! Devon tries to interfere, but Hernandez takes him out. Hernandez proceeds to dropkick both brothers, and flies over the top rope onto them. Homicide, not to be outdone, follows his partner. Everyone manages to get back into the ring, and as Homicide goes for a high risk move, Ray pushes him off the top to the outside. Salinas and Hector come to his aid immediately, and Hernandez pushes the ref down, demanding that he help. Meanwhile, Ray comes around the corner, boots Salinas in the head, kicks Hector out of the way, and continues to beat up on Homcide. Devon and Homicide are in the ring, with Devon clearly in control. Devon hits an impressive corkscrew kick type move before 3D illegally double teams Homicide. Ray is tagged in legally now, and he continues to isolate Homicide. Salinas’ screaming is now becoming irritating. Homicide tries for the advantage, but Ray cuts him off. Devon is the legal man now and goes to the air, missing his move. Homicide crawls his way to his corner, finally making the hot tag. However, the ref doesn’t allow the tag and 3D double teams Homicide in the opposite corner. Devon sets Homicide up on the top rope and tries for a superplex, but Homicide fights him off and hits Devon with a jawbreaker. Finally Hernandez is tagged in, as is Ray. Hernandez takes on both brothers, showing off his “Super Mex” strength. He tags back in Homicide for a cross body for the cover on Ray, but Devon makes the save. Ray dumps Homicide to the outside and 3D set Hernandez up for the What’s Up, only to have Homicide push Devon off the ropes to the canvas. Now Hernandez has Ray set up for the What’s Up, and, as Salina’s goes to take her spot on the top rope, Johnny Devine shows up with a kendo stick. He is about to hit Hernandez when Hector pulls him out of the ring and hits Devine. Salinas hits the What’s Up, wipes her mouth, and takes a bow. Devon makes the save, however, beating up on the already beat up Homicide. Devon tries for yet another superplex, but Hernandez gets Devon on his shoulder and Homicide hits a Gringo Cutter on Devon. Homicide gets the pin but Devon pulls the ref out of the ring. Homicde tries for a high risk move to the outside, but Devon dodges. Ray low blows Hernandez and, as the brothers are setting Hernandez up for their finisher, Homicide rolls Ray up for the surprise win before Devon even knows what’s going on.

Another amazing match! The ending to this was incredibly unique (considering the usually lame endings TNA comes up with). The action was great, again, almost too fast for me, and I loved Salinas’ involvement (minus the screaming). This was easily one of the best tag matches I’ve seen in a very long time.

Robert Roode Promo
The video package points out that Roode was the first to qualify and has never been in a KOTM match. In the interview half of the promo, we see an actually quite normal, calm and serious Roode (as opposed to a spastic and overtly confident man). He talks about how he has had to prove he’s not a rookie any longer.

TNA Knockout Champion Awesome Kong vs Random Unlucky Lady Wrestler
“Kong Ate My Sign,” complete with large bite marks out of it is now in the lead as the best sign of the night. JB “randomly” chooses two women; a mixed martial artist and a gangsta chick. Kong chooses Serena, the mixed martial artist. I’m just going to sit back and watch this and if, per chance, Kong does not win, I’ll let you know how it went, ok? In the midst of the beat down, the other woman mouthed Kong off and Kong pushed her to the floor on the other side of the barrier. Back to the beatdown… Kong wins with an Implant Buster. I am truly shocked.

After the match, Kong goes to confront the other woman again, Josie. Josie goes to sign the waiver, and slams Kong in the face, temporarily getting the better of the big woman. Now Kong is on the offence, but Josie ducks a punch and Kong hits the ring post. Josie rolls into the ring and kicks Kong in the gut as she follows. Kong levels Josie with a back fist and takes her gloves off. Kong is once again destroying Josie, and finishes her off with an Awesome Bomb for the second win in 10 minutes.

Well, that was interesting. I’ll finish this thought later, as EY is interrupting to say the Elvis has arrived. Kong is clearly not impressed. I have a feeling Elvis is going to get beat up by a girl. Elvis comes out on the ramp. There is much booing. Elvis gets in the ring with Kong. Doesn’t he watch wrestling? Doesn’t he know what’s going to happen next? Elvis is Awesome Bombed.

Anyway, back to my previous thoughts. I’m glad that TNA has had a woman almost beat Kong (well, ok, Josie didn’t almost beat Kong, but she did a Hell of a lot better than the rest of them have). I hope that they use this to debut a new lady or start a new feud or start letting the challengers be men soon, as this is going to get old really fast, something akin to the Masterlock Challenge the WWE has done in the past. Right now, I’m digging this storyline, but when the same thing happens week after week, there is no reason to have interest anymore and that is quickly becoming the case.

Christian Cage Promo
In the video package, Cage talks about there being no good way to prepare for KOTM. In the interview part, Cage says that he let the title free, but it came back to him, so it must be his. Since he’s been in TNA, there hasn’t been anyone else in more main events or big matches than Cage, he says.

Jay Lethal and SoCal Val Wedding
The video package highlights on Sonjay’s reaction to the proposal and hints that Sonjay is going to ruin the wedding. We also get a recap of the Bachelor Party. The minister anncounces that the wedding shall begin. The groomsmen are introduced; Ace Young (much booing), Kamala (with bare feet and a tux), Jake “The Snake” Roberts (snakeless but with much cheering), Koko B Ware (with an uncooperative Frankie, green hair and shades) and George “The Animal” Steele (coming around the side, with green tongue, and taunting the crowd). Sonjay and some chick are introduced as the Maid of Honour and the Best Man. Sonjay is in full regalia, which looks pretty cool. Jay Lethal, the groom, is the next out, wearing gold sequined white Macho Man outfit and hat. Finally SoCal Val is introduced to the traditional music, wearing a cheesy traditional wedding dress. She is frightened by Kamala on her way down. The ceremony begins. When the minister asks for objectors, some people in the crowd make their objections known. They are ignored. Just before SoCal says I Do, Sonjay interrupts, telling Val that he’s in love with her and should be marrying him instead. Lethal confronts him and Sonjay cracks Lethal with an arbor. Ace Young for some reason runs in to help and gets dully knocked out. KoKo is now in the ring as is Kamala. The two get their shots in on Sonjay as George begs to be allowed in the ring. Jake gets his snake out from under the ring (a gorgeous albino boa, a good 7 feet long, probably. I want.) and puts it on Sonjay, sending him out of the ring. George is now attacking the turnbuckle. Sonjay and Lethal jaw at each other as the groomsmen destroy the wedding set up. I can’t stop staring at that snake. It’s so beautiful.

Booker T Promo
In the video package Booker talks about how everyone wants to be on top, but that, in the end, Booker is the king. In the interview, JB calls Booker T bitter, to which Booker responds that TNA wanted him so badly and TNA is more successful since his debut, but he has not been treated like he should be. He says his locker room smells like elephant urine.

The Angle Saga
We see a video package of the latest goings on, including the recent AJ beatdowns.

Kurt Angle vs AJ Styles
Angle comes down to the ring with Tomko in tow. AJ comes out next and protests Tomko’s presence. Tomko is sent out of the ring by Earl Hebner as the bell rings. Hey, I just noticed that the ref’s uniforms are different. Anyway, Angle is in control with some grappling holds. AJ retaliates with some hip tosses before Angle rolls out of the ring to collect himself. When Angle gets back in the ring, he’s in charge until he is hit with a dropkick off the ropes. Tomko distracts AJ on the outside, allowing Angle to get in an eye rake for the advantage once again. AJ turns the tables once more by ducking a spear in the corner and following up with punch over the top rope. Once again AJ is distracted by Tomko and Angle sends AJ to the outside. Earl Hebner interjects just before Tomko has his way with AJ and throws Tomko out of the ringside area. While Tomko is begging to stay, Angle is throwing AJ into things at ringside. Security finally has to come down and escort Tomko out. One of them looks likes Sisqo. Angle throws AJ in the ring and procedes to argue with the ref when AJ comes over the top with a flip dive to the outside. The fight continues in the ring with AJ in charge. AJ gets several pinfalls, but can’t get the three count. Angle manages to reverse things, however, with a few punches in the face. Angle keeps AJ on the mat with some grappling moves and some underhanded tactics. AJ Styles’ nose seems to be broken or something as he falls victim to a belly to belly release suplex. Angle continues in the advantage with several submission moves and near-pinfalls. Angle gets AJ up for a superplex but AJ fends him off. AJ counters off the top rope with a front suplex, grounding both men. The crowd “Boos” and “Yays” as the two men punch each other back and forth until AJ finally gets the upper hand with a few kicks and a pumphandle slam. Angle gains an advantage with a knee to the stomach and goes for the triple German suplexes, but AJ gets the reveral before the third and suplexes Angle instead. AJ charges Angle who reverses himself and hits the third German suplex. AJ counters with a kick to the head. AJ charges at Angle who belly to belly suplexes him into the turnbuckle. AJ reverses an Angle Slam into a DDT. Angle reverses a Styles Clash attempt to an Ankle Lock, but AJ flips him into the turnbuckle. AJ hits a springboard inverted DDT for the cover and nearly won. AJ goes to the top but is surprised by an Olympic Slam. Once again Angle has the ankle lock on, but AJ reverses with a surprise roll up, followed by a pele kick. Angle gets his hand on the rope to prevent the cover. Another Styles Clash attempt turns into an Ankle Lock once more. AJ pushes Angle off and Angle runs into the ref. AJ gets Anlge to the outside and Karen Angle shows up on the ramp with a chair. Karen distracts Angle by offering the chair but, when he goes to grab it, she won’t let him have it. This gives AJ enough time to get Angle up in a Styles Clash for the win.

AJ and Karen are celebrating when Angle hits AJ with the chair. Karen slaps Kurt and Kurt threatens her before she escapes. Angle continues to beat on AJ as Security comes out to stop him. Tomko comes out and clears out Security as Angle gets an Ankle Lock on AJ. More refs come out but Tomko won’t let them in the ring. They finally let up as Karen leaves ring side and the refs try to help out a beaten AJ Styles.

Great match! Very back and forth and exciting! The ending was a tad predictable (it was either Tomko or Karen that were going to interfere in some way) but the match more than made up for hit. I’m glad the beat down of AJ didn’t go on to long, as I’m getting really bored of seeing the poor guy get his ass handed to him every week.

Samoa Joe Promo
In the video package Joe talks about the uniqueness of the match and that the most viscous person has the advantage. In the interview, Lauren says Joe wants to make a difference. Joe agrees, saying his the cure for a sickness, a sickness that he says is opportunistic politicians that make it to the top of the ladder ahead of the hard workers.

King of the Mountain 101
Once again, I fast forwarded. I’ve heard all of this before.

King of the Mountain Match: Rhino vs Robert Roode vs Christian Cage vs Booker T vs TNA World Heavyweight Champion Samoa Joe, and Special Enforcer Kevin Nash
We get a video package of each of the entrants as they come down to the ring. Nash and Joe have a little stare down as he gets in the ring. Once again, this is going to be tough to follow, so I’ll just give you the highlights. Cage and Rhino are working together against Roode to begin with. Cage takes a nasty fall to the outside after being pushed off the top rope by Booker T. Roode tries a crossbody on Joe, who simply steps out of the way. Joe gets a great high kick on Christian in the corner. Christian gets tied up in a Tree of Woe and Joe kicks him in the face. Joe is standing alone in the ring before heading to the outside to square off with Booker. Booker T pins Rhino; Booker T is eligible to win while Rhino is in the penalty box. Booker shows some disrespect to Nash as he gets the title to hang up. As Booker and Joe are having a tug o’ war with the ladder on the outside, Christian dropkicks the ladder, taking both out. Rhino is now out of the box and goes straight to the ring, where Christian has just sent Roode over the top rope. They bump hands in respect before tying up. Joe takes Rhino out with a crotch to the post as Rhino tries for the gore. Joe goes over the top to knock over Roode, Booker and Rhino. Christian Cage is climbing to the top of the penalty box as the four recover and jumps off onto his four opponents. Cage pulls a table out from under the ring. Chrisitan sets up the table and throws a ladder and a chair into the ring. Christian, ladder in hand, gets hit with the chair by Roode, who makes the pin; Roode is now eligible and Cage is in the box. Rhino suddenly surprises Roode with a roll up; Rhino is now eligible and Roode joins Cage in the box (courtesy of Nash). Rhino is climbing the ladder but Booker pushes it over. Joe attacks Booker. Cage and Roode are beating each other up in the box. Christian is out now and goes straight to the top of the cage, landing on Booker, who is tied up in a rear naked choke courtesy of Joe. Christian pins Booker to be eligible and Booker goes to the box. In the meantime, Roode has been released from the pen. Christian gets close to winning, but Joe, the only man that can’t win, DDTs him off the ladder, and is promptly Gored by Rhino. Booker’s time is up but he is rather tired and doesn’t want to get out of the box. Nash is handing the title to Rhino as Booker finally gets out. Booker grabs the title and knocks Nash out with it, before hitting Rhino, Joe and Roode in the ring. Finally, he gets Cage in the head and poses instead of going to the top of the ladder. Hasn’t he ever watched a wrestling match before? You can’t take that much time to get your ass in gear! Someone is going to interfere! Sure enough, it’s Big Sexy that climbs over the ropes, woosy, but pissed, and Jackknife’s Booker to the canvas. Cage and Joe are up and brawling now. Christian is inadvertently Gored off the apron through the table on the outside. Rhino gets knocked to the outside. Roode and Joe fight for the title. Roode is kicked on the ladder before being Musclebusted and pinned. Joe is now eligible and Roode is going to the pen. Joe, it seems, has watched wrestling shows before, because he hauls ass to get that title on the hook. Joe hangs the title to win the match.

Wow. That was an abrupt ending, quite frankly, but it was a good match all in all.

Well, all in all, this was a great PPV. The match of the night was a tie between the X Division Match and the Knockout 6 Lady Tag, with the Tag Team Championship match a close second. All of the matches were quality and the only real complaint I have about the whole show is the lame-o Lethal-SoCal Val wedding and the lame-o Angle Saga storylines having a part in the show. Oh, and Elvis and Booker T need to watch more wrestling.

Until Thursday (which is really today, but don’t tell anyone);


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