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Impact Wrestling: Under Siege
by Samoa Rowe
May 15, 2021
From Skyway Studios in Nashville, Tennessee, behind closed doors. Our hosts are Matt Striker and D'Lo Brown.
Brian Myers vs. Black Taurus (with Rosemary and Crazzy Steve)
Taurus shoves Myers down, and Myers seems to know he's in trouble as Rosemary lurks nearby. Taurus hits a slick backbreaker, sending Myers fleeing into the ropes. Taurus flips to reverse a wristlock, and Myers runs away and punches Steve. Myers sidesteps to send Taurus into the rails. Myers picks Taurus apart with Methodical Heel Offense. Taurus saves himself with a twisting crossbody and then hits a crucifix bomb for 2. Myers hits a well-timed enziguri and then a flatliner for 2. Taurus palm strikes Myers on the top rope, but Myers thumbs the eye and hits a lariat to win at 8:51. Overwhelmingly average match, though they did a lot of good little things, **¼.
Winner: Brian Meyers
Susan and Kimber Lee vs. Tenille Dashwood (with Kaleb with a K) and Taylor Wilde
Susan doesn't like Wilde's lip-synching and air guitar performance, but cannot do anything about it. Wilde and Dashwood hit (mistimed) stereo suplexes. Tenille gives Lee a neckbreaker in the ropes, but Susan ambushes from ringside to give her team the upper hand. They go immediately to Wilde's hot tag and she hits Susan with a fisherman suplex. Susan looks for a superplex, but Tenille breaks it up. Susan throws Tenille into Wilde and finally hits a superplex. Wilde surprises with a small package, and Lee botches the last minute save. Kaleb interferes with a shoe and Susan gets suplexed and pinned at 4:28. Holy smokes, this was a total disaster, with rampant timing issues, DUD.
Winners: Tenille Dashwood and Taylor Wilde
Sami Callihan cuts a promo from his hacker lair (totally not in his parents' basement) and serves up a bunch of platitudes about how nothing can stop him from becoming #1 contender to Kenny Omega's World Championship.
Impact Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Match:
Ace Austin and Madman Fulton vs. XXXL (Acey Romero and Larry D.) vs. Rohit Raju and Shera vs. TJP and Petey Williams
Everyone brawls at the opening bell until Fulton and Larry are left as the legal men. Quick tag to Romero, and he tackles Fulton for 2. Rohit tags himself in and kicks at Acey's midsection. Acey slaps Rohit's taste out, but Petey tags himself in, and sends Rohit into the ropes with a drop toe hold. Petey stands on Rohit's groin in a tree of woe. Petey and TJP hit a double hip toss, and TJP cartwheels into a series of rapid submission attempts. Rohit and Shera gain control of Petey. TJP quickly gets the hot tag, but Shera interrupts the boot wash with a clothesline. Ace Austin tags himself in to steal control of TJP from Raju. TJP absorbs a slew of punishment before hitting Austin with a tornado DDT. Hot tag to Petey and he tears through Austin. Fulton interrupts the Canadian Destroyer, but gets cleared out by XXXL. Double back body drop on Austin, and double shoulder block on Raju. Austin kicks Romero off his feet, but TJP ambushes Austin with a suplex. TJP gives Austin the face wash and running boot. Raju tags himself in and drops Austin with a spike DDT for 2. Larry tags himself in as Raju is running wild and drops him with a headbutt. XXXL hit Ace with a tandem backbreaker elbow drop, but Fulton saves the match and plants Larry for Ace to splash off his back and win at 13:55! Well constructed 4-way due to the frantic blind tags and ambushes, ***.
Winners: Ace Austin and Madman Fulton
Backstage interview with Fire N Flava. Despite losing their tag titles, they are undeterred and are going to drag Ellering and Grace to the Hard Knocks Casino.
W. Morrissey vs. Willie Mack
In case you forgot, Morrissey is the wrestler formerly known as Big Cass, and it looks like he doesn't get much sleep these days. Mack is aggressive at the opening bell, but Morrissey answers with a shoulder tackle. Mack's running clothesline sends Morrissey stumbling to ringside. Morrissey recovers by kicking Mack through the ropes. Morrissey slams Mack into the ring post and smashes him into the concrete. Mack fights out of a chinlock but runs into Morrissey's shoulder. Morrissey goes back to the chinlock and this starts dying as I stare at the stopwatch. At least Mack is doing a nice job selling the damage, he breaks a third chinlock with a chinbreaker. Mack hits a series of clotheslines but can't get Morrissey off his feet, so he hits a spin heel kick. Mack splashes Morrissey into the buckles and hits a running punch. The invisible crowd is digging Mack's comeback. Flying clothesline by Mack only gets 1. Mack is shocked and becomes easy prey to Morrissey's spinning sidewalk slam. Morrissey kicks the back of the head and wins at 11:53. Way too long, but ended on a strong note, **.
Winner: W. Morrissey
Morrissey prepares a post-match beatdown with a chair, but Rich Swann runs in to save Mack.
Impact Knockouts Tag Team Championship:
Jordynne Grace and Rachel Ellering © vs. Fire N Flava (Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan)
Fire N Flava attack before the bell, but the champs hit stereo takedowns. Ellering slams Hogan into place for a spinning leg drop. Ellering throws Hogan into Steelz and gets 2 on a small package. Spinebuster by Ellering gets 2. Grace tags in and hits rolling gut wrench suplexes on Hogan! Hogan tries to block Ellering's senton, but they work past the miscommunication and Steelz takes control. Ellering takes a polite beating before Grace gets the hot tag and unleashes heck on Fire N Flava. Grace leaps off Ellering's back for an elbow into the corner, but Hogan saves Steelz. Steelz knocks the champs together and hits Ellering with a Codebreaker and Grace with a spinebuster. Hogan hits Grace with a DDT and sling blades Ellering! Everyone goes down while the invisible crowd cheers. Grace dodges Steelz' bicycle kick, Steelz pump kicks, but Grace hits a clothesline and cannonballs Steelz into the buckles. Hogan interrupts a Vader Bomb, and hits Ellering with Sliced Bread off of the ring post. Grace pulls herself up but her superplex is blocked and Steelz nails a flying splash for the pin and titles at 12:42! Whoa, I was NOT expecting a title change! Stellar tag team outing here, with compelling action and drama in the final stretch, ***¾.
Winners and new Impact Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Fire N Flava
XXXL crash Swinger's Palace and complain about the casino and Swinger's place in wrestling (Simon Diamond carried him). Hernandez has Swinger's back, and they retreat while Swinger yucks it up.
Josh Alexander © vs. El Phantasmo
I'm torn here. The uber-talented Alexander just won the X Title and is a big departure from the typical type of wrestler to hold the gold, but El Phantasmo has been my New Favorite Wrestler of All Time for the past 1-2 years. Let's go, both guys. They lock up, but Phantasmo uses the ropes to his advantage. Alexander scores a waistlock takedown. Phantasmo reverses a knuckle lock, but Alexander rolls into a break. Phantasmo reverses a wristlock into a bow and arrow attempt, but it's quickly broken up. Alexander builds steam so Phantasmo retreats to ringside. Alexander gives up the higher ground but catches Phantasmo with a slick backbreaker. Phantasmo comes back with a springboard rana for 2. Phantasmo stomps the foot and puts Josh into a tree of woe for a dropkick fakeout, and steps on his groin. Alexander suplexes Phantasmo from the tree of woe position! Josh misses a chop and hits the ring post, and Phantasmo goes to work on the freshly injured hand. Josh counters Phantasmo's tightrope showboating with a somersault DVD! Alexander wins a slugfest and nails a big boot for 2! Phantasmo escapes an ankle lock and nails a springboard crossbody and Lionsault for 2! Roundhouse kick by Phantasmo and then a spinning TKO! Alexander answers with a backbreaker, Phantasmo blocks the ankle lock and pulls the tights for a roll-up for 2. Release German by Alexander, and then a low crossbody off the apron! Phantasmo hits a wild top rope rana and then a sweet Frog Splash, but ALEXANDER KICKS OUT! They trade rapid counters until Alexander rolls into the ankle lock, and then a gut wrench backbreaker! Alexander rapplies the ankle lock, stomps the back, and rolls into a grapevine! Phantasmo taps at 16:45! This was EVERYTHING I love about pro wrestling, ****½.
Winner and still X-Division Champion: Josh Alexander
Backstage interview with Impact Tag Team Champions FinJuice and Eddie Edwards. Juice Robinson is happy that they have Omega and Good Brothers in a six man tag, because it means there'll be no sneak attacks or interference. David Finlay says they're the best tag team in the business and are unstoppable teaming with one of the greats in Edwards. Eddie says Omega and the Good Brothers act like they call all the shots, and is ready to humble them.
Impact Knockouts Championship:
Deonna Purrazzo © (with Kimber Lee and Susan) vs. Havok
Match starts with complete domination by Havok. She lets Lee distract her and then misses a leg drop, and Purrazzo takes control by working over the arm. Havok comes back, Purrazzo dodges deadly stomps, but Havok chokeslams her down for a labored Boston crab (paying off Deonna's arm work). Purrazzo escapes with a bad back, and they battle on the top rope. Kimber Lee and Susan interfere to separate them, but Purrazzo flies into Havok's arms, but then counters a slam into an armbar. Havok pops up to hit a knee to the face and then a hip attack. Purrazzo hits a pump kick and tornado armbar takedown. Havok taps at 8:36! Good, basic match, that puts Purrazzo over as a cerebral competitor, ***.
Winner and still Impact Knockouts Champion: Deonna Purrazzo
Impact Tag Team Champions FinJuice (David Finlay and Juice Robinson) and Eddie Edwards vs. Impact/AEW World Champion Kenny Omega (with Don Callis) and The Good Brothers (Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows)
FinJuice work Anderson over with double axe handles to the wrist and a tandem slam. Juice controls the arm while hitting repeated shoulder blocks. Anderson powers out of an elbow lock and Gallows tags in. Juice jabs away at Gallows, who answers with a mighty forearm. FinJuice hit Doc with a double axe handle, but he rakes the eyes of Finlay to escape. Omega gets some shots in, but FinJuice surprise me with a tag instead of going through a heat sequence. Instead, Edwards avoids getting isolated and unleashes a flurry of offense onto Omega. Finlay hits Omega with a snap suplex for 2. FinJuice hit yet another double axe handle, and then put Omega down with a tandem bulldog. The Good Brothers fail to tear Juice apart at ringside, but Omega manages a baseball slide dropkick. Omega aggressively puts Juice into a neck vice, and we finally get a heat sequence. Juice back suplexes Anderson and makes the hot tag to Finlay. Omega trips Finlay to end his dominance. Finlay gets worked over but saves himself with a high crossbody onto Gallows. Edwards gets a hot tag and smashes Omega around the ring. Blue Thunder Bomb gets 2. Omega answers with a leaping rana, and the Good Brothers help clear the ring and triple team Edwards. Eddie piles Omega and Gallows into the buckles for FinJuice to charge into, and he hits Omega with a Tiger Driver for a great nearfall. V-Trigger and Snap Dragon by Omega, and his team triple splashes Edwards, but Juice saves the match. Finlay saves Eddie from the Magic Killer, and they hit Gallows with a tandem suplex. Omega hits Juice with a Snap Dragon, but Edwards catches him with a big lariat. Anderson TKO's Eddie for 2. Juice hits Anderson with the Unprettier, leaving him down for Eddie's Boston Knee Party for the win at 19:56! Strong match in terms of not just settling into the tag team 101 formula and subverting my expectations at various points. It did run a little long, but I did pop for Eddie's victory, ***½.
Winners: FinJuice and Eddie Edwards
Impact World Championship #1 Contenders Match:
Sami Callihan vs. Chris Bey vs. Matt Cardona vs. Trey Miguel vs. Chris Sabin vs. Moose
Moose strikes first with a bicycle kick onto Sami. Moose snapmares Bey off his back and then catches Miguel with a fallaway slam. Bey and Sabin drop Moose with double superkicks, and then have an athletic exchange. Miguel uses his lightning speed to clear the ring. Sami hits a DVD onto Miguel. Cardona hits Sami with a missile dropkick, and then a baseball slide dropkick onto Moose. Trey and Bey find an opening to hit stereo somersault sentons onto the others! Sami recovers to buckle bomb Bey. Sami stacks Cardona and Bey into the buckles, but Bey hits a superplex from a tree of woe position! Miguel dropkicks Bey, Sabin breaks the pin for a slugfest. Miguel suplexes Sabin into a dragon sleeper, but Moose breaks it up. Moose dropkicks Bey on the top rope, but Miguel blocks his superplex attempt. Moose sprints up to hit a proper superplex but Bey is waiting for a frog splash, but Sami breaks the pin with a chair shot. Sami puts Bey through the chair with an exploder, but Cardona saves the match. Cardona hits the Broski Boot for 2 Sabin hits a Flatliner/DDT combo and then missile dropkicks Cardona. A series of KO attacks results in Sami kicking Cardona in the groin. The Good Brothers run in to attack Callihan. Meanwhile, Sabin hits his cradle powerbomb but Moose drags out the ref. Sabin dives onto Moose and nearly finishes with a roll-up. Moose spears Sabin's knee in sickening fashion! The Spear finishes Sabin at 10:48! This was nonstop, awesome action, and a **** spotfest. You might not like spotfests, but at a certain point complaining about them is like listening to a hip hop song and complaining that there isn't a guitar solo.
Final Thoughts: If you're still sleeping on Impact Wrestling, please give them a shot. This was a tremendous show after the first 2 matches.
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