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TNA Impact! - August 19, 2005

by erick von erich

What the HECK?
So it's an occassional Impact Recap, back from a drought of 3 weeks. The show opens with Mike Tenay recapping the last TNA PPV, "Sacrifice". 3 Live Kru reunited to the "delight" of fans. Samoa Joe won a big trophy...and it wasn't busted after the match! Rhino gored Gored GORRRRED Raven through a table. For this brief moment, Rhino was My Favorite Rassler Ever. Noteworthy to mention that Tenay delivered the review without hollering or shouting.

Samoa Joe vs. Jerrelle Clark

Samoa Joe, the Samoan Submission Machine from the Isle of Samoa. And here I thought he was from Boise, Idaho. Joe pummels Clark with charging kicks and chops. Clark runs into the corner and tries a moonsault, of which Joe simply walks away from. Joe bounces off the rope with a senton butt splash for 2. Clark reverses an armbar, then springboards off the top rope right into a chokelsam from Joe. Joe follows up with the overhead "Muscle Buster" and the "Kokina Klutch" choke to get the submission win. Afterwards, Christopher Daniels runs in, dressed in stylin' Mervyn's Men's apparel to smack Joe with the X Division belt. Joe fights him off until A.J. Styles runs in and dropkicks both men out of the ring.

Back from the break, and Shane Douglas is trying to inteview a door. Things go downhill as it opens and Larry Zbyszko and Jeff Jarret walk out, arguing about Rhino's title shot.

Chris Candido Memorial Tag Team Tournament First Round Match
Shocker & Chris Sabin vs. Simon Diamond and Mikey Batts

Supposedly the tournament's gimmick is that each team pairs up a young guy with an older guy. Of course, in most cases "older" equates to about 3 years. Batts and Sabin start by tradng armdrags, countering and criss-crossing the ring. Sabin does a cheerleader cartwheel and dropkicks Batts in the chin for 2. Shocker comes in for a doubleteam irishwhip and step ladder flying forearm. Dimaond runs in to attempt a save and gets a double drop toehold, right into Batts' ummm.... sack. Double dropkick sends Diamond out of the ring. Commercial break and we come back to Shocker suplexing Batts, corkscrew elbowdrop and a slam. Diamond trips up Sabin, allowing Batts to land a charging hurracanrana. Heels work over Sabin for awhile. A chinlock happens. Diamond hits four consecutive vertical suplexes in what he calls the "Simon Series"...not to be confused with the Simon System. Sabin finaly spings off the second rope with a flying back elbow and makes the tag to Shocker. Shocker pummels Batts and powerbombs him for 2. Sabin returns with a thurst kick for Batts, then his cradleshot finisher to get the pin.

Commercial breaks tries to pump up a "best of Jeff Hardy" DVD. Buy it and you'll get a FREE....wristband. If you don't buy it, you'll get TWO wristbands!

Shane Douglas is backstage with "Alpha Male" Monty Brown. Brown rips on Kip James,... then somehow ties it into Rhino, Jeff Jarrett, Rhino and that the NWA title is coming back to the Serengetti. After the interview Shane, as always, wipes his face and LOOKS CONCERNED.

Sonny Siaki (w/Apolo) vs. Rhino

Siaki chops, armdrags, shakes a turd down his leg and drops a leg for 1. Rhino retaliates with a powerbomb lift and drops Siaki, face-first, into the top tunrbuckle. Rhino goes to the Greco-Roman rope choke. Quick brawl and then another chinlock happens, courtesy of the Man-Beast. Siaki gets a kick to the chin and a flying reverse neckbreaker. Siaki whips Rhino to the ropes and leapfrogs. Rhino suddenly hits the GORE to get the pin. Rhino gets the house mic to breathe heavy, announce "GORE GORE GORE" and threaten Raven. Raven appears at the top of the entrance ramp, muttering some stupid lines. Raven enters the ring and SECURITY tries to control things. Rhino gores him through the security guards.

Chris Candido Memorial Tag Team Tournament First Round Match
B.G. James & Cassidy Riley vs. Ron "the Truth" Killings & Sonjay Dutt

Forgot to mention in past weeks that Sonjay is announced as being from "India". So I guess his billing address is simply "Sonjay Dutt, India". Good to know. Cassidy is dressed up like Raven, so I guess that shitty angle is still looming. Killings and Riley criss cross and trade shoulderblocks. James tags in, gives Killings a quick MAN-HUG, then both match wobbly leg dance moves with each other. Both partners come in to argue with the Kru..so the Kur pairs off and nails their corresponding opponents. Killings works an armbar on Riley, then hits a flying forearm. Dutt and Riley go at for awhile. Dutt gets a few kicks and Riley gets a nice bulldog. Time for the 4-way brawl as James delivers a pumphandle slam to Dutt while Riley delivers a brainbuster to Killings. Riley goes to cover Killings, but James makes the save. Argument ensues and James hits Riley with a pumphandle slam! Dutt hops up to the top and lands a 450 splash on Riley to get the 3 count.

James Mitchell is below the bleachers with Abyss. If Abyss doesn't get a title shot, he'll "cripple everyone in his path". Mitchell even threatens Larry Zbyszko's golf clubs!

NWA Tag Team Championship:
The Naturals (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Team Canada

Chase Stevens & Andy Douglas vs. A-1 & Eric Young
It's been three weeks, so it must be time for another Team Canada tag title shot! Typical 4-way brawl to start, with Eric Young overselling. Doubleteam clothesline on A-1 gets 2. Stevens with a quick rollup and a standing dropkick. Naturals work on EY for a bit. Waitaminut....Jimmy must be proud: "work on him baby, work on him!" An armbar happens. Douglas hits his own dropkick for 2. Young whips Douglas into an awaiting knee from A-1 and gains control. A-1 pounds on Douglas and nails a hangman's neckbreaker. I dunno'..but when A-1 jaws into the camera, I'm reminded of Lex Luger. Young and Douglas do a sloppy roll-through backslide thingie. A-1 gets a nice tunraround powerslam for 2. EY misses a legdrop and bounces around on the mat. Hot tga to Stevens who enters with a flying forearm and leg lariat for A-1. Overhead spinebuster slam on EY gets 2. Natural Disater on EY..1..2... Petey Williams and Booby Roode suddenly run in for the DQ. Holy shit-- that's Billy Jack Haynes!! Err..my mistake, Roode just needs to shave. Canadian beatdown until America's Most Wanted arrives to make the save. Team Canada leaves, while AMW and the Naturals come to blows. The timekeeper keeps ringing the bell for added effect.

Why'd You Watch This?
TNA's getting a slot on Spike TV soon, so they've got something to shoot for. There's still not alot of suspense on these Impact shows..since the division between "Stars" and "Jobbers" is still apparent. Do they expect us to honestly belive that guys like Batts, Clark, Siaki and David Young will beat guys like Abyss, Jarrett or Styles? If the Spike deal works out for them, they'll need to expand the roster a bit. As it, there's roughly 10 premier guys and they can only make so many feud/match-up combos out of those 10. But it's still mildly entertaining rasslin', with minimal soap opera crap.

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