Impact Wrestling -March 13, 2015
by Samoa Rowe
-From London, England. Our hosts are Josh Mathews and Taz.
Last Man Standing:
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
They cut right to the chase and brawl before the opening bell. Roode builds some momentum first, drop-kicking Young off the apron. Eric recovers and takes control at ringside, while the fans chant “You sold out.” Roode reverses a suplex onto the steel ramp and then sprints into a clothesline. Roode sets up a table but doesn’t get to use it as Eric fights back, sending us to commercial. After a break, Young is in control, putting Roode down with a neck breaker. Young lands a second neck breaker on the floor, but Roode gets back to his feet. Young uses the ring steps, but Roode counters a piledriver with a nasty back drop. They hurt each other with dueling chairs and both go down after a clothesline. A slugfest erupts in the ring, but Young surprises with a Piledriver! Bobby gets up only to eat a series of chair shots. Eric pulls Roode up, only to suffer a Piledriver onto the chair! Young gets up at 9 and the fight heads to the apron, where they both go crashing through the table in a Roode Bomb. Roode barely stands at the 10 count to win the match by an eyelash at 15:09 (shown). This was a perfectly good brawl, not to mention a breezy match that just flew by, elevated by a HOT crowd. More of this please, ***½.Winner: Bobby Roode
-Bald Jeremy Borash tries to talk Rockstar Spud out of his Hair Match against Ethan Carter III. Spud won’t back down, saying he has to stand up against people like EC3, because most people won’t. Spud wants the good guys to win. Good segment, Spud has really stepped up.
-Drew Galloway enters with a microphone and a pretty bad-ass new metalcore theme song. He goes into the crowd for his promo, asking the fans if they want to take back pro-wrestling during an era of having certain guys shoved down their throats. This lures out the Beat Down Clan and MVP accuses Galloway of pandering to the flatscans. MVP reminds us that there was a time when Drew was “chosen” for his looks, but was too stupid to know it. The crowd drowns out MVP with their booing. The rest of the BDC is sent to the back so MVP and Galloway can fight it out alone.
Drew Galloway vs. MVP
They have a hot start with an urgent brawl. Galloway pummels MVP into the corner, but a cheap shot puts MVP back in the driver’s seat. MVP misses the Yakuza Kick, allowing Galloway to punch his way to a comeback. Drew rips open MVP’s vest for some chops. Drew earns some crowd adoration for a drop-kick and kip-up, but the BDC return for a group ambush for the DQ at 3:05. This was more of an angle than a match, but they made good use of their short time.Winner via DQ: Drew Galloway
-Nobody runs in for the save as Galloway gets destroyed by the BDC. MVP orders Kenny King and Low Ki to hold Drew against the ring post for an assault, but Samoa Joe stops him in his tracks. It’s not a face turn though, as Joe pulls a lead pipe out of his sleeve, allowing Low Ki to crack the pipe against Drew’s shoulder. The group poses with a bloody Galloway as if he was a hunting prize. This was effective in that I actually want to see Drew get his revenge.
-Mickie James checks on Magnus, who claims he’s alright to face Bram later. Magnus asks her to stay in the back and let him handle the situation.
Bram vs. Magnus
Bram meets Magnus in the aisle for a brawl, but finds himself getting knocked around the ringside area. They enter the ring and Magnus counters with a double stomp to the chest. Magnus’ hot start continues until Bram takes control by repeatedly attacking the head. Mickie James predictably shows up at ringside to cheer her baby-daddy on. Magnus clotheslines his way to a comeback. Bram saves himself with a blatant low blow for the DQ at 5:34. Nothing fancy, but Magnus was getting the type of babyface reaction that most WWE guys would kill for these days, *½.Winner via DQ: Magnus
-Bram gets a chair and puts a hurting on Magnus. He gets a cue ball from under the ring and zip ties Magnus to the ropes. Mickie crawls in to shield her fiancé, but Bram grabs her by the hair as Magnus looks on helplessly. Mickie slaps Bram, but he grabs her and cuts a mocking promo, promising to let her go if Magnus kisses his boot. Magnus reluctantly does so, and Bram actually lets Mickie go, satisfied with humiliating Magnus in front of her. Man, if this angle doesn’t get Bram over, I don’t know what will.
-The Beat Down Clan are still pumped up from their moral victory over Drew Galloway. MVP yells at the camera, promising that the blood is just beginning to flow. Low Ki rants and raves about how this isn’t over. Samoa Joe says the BDC will eliminate and emasculate whoever they need to. It’s a shame Joe is leaving after next week.
Robbie E (with DJ Z, Jessie Godderz, and Angelina Love) vs. Brooke Tessmacher
DJ Z provides ring introductions for Robbie E and tries to get “Let’s get ready to Robbie” over as a catchphrase. Bell rings and Robbie goofs around, pretending he’s in a boxing match and needs a break after nonexistent rounds. Robbie shoves Brooke off her feet and celebrates with a cartwheel. They have a Greco-Roman knuckle lock, but counters and they run the ropes until Brooke catches Robbie with a series of shots. Brooke mocks Robbie by taking his seat and water for a break. A distraction allows Robbie to pull the hair to regain control. Vertical suplex by Robbie, but his frog splash misses. Angelina grabs Brooke’s ankle, earning her a cross body for her trouble. Robbie catches Brooke in a cross body, but Jessie’s interference backfires, leading Brooke to pin Robbie with a jackknife at 4:22. I wanted to hate this match, but it was well-booked and turned into a guilty pleasure, *½.Winner: Brooke Tessmacher
-Quite a bit of time is devoted to well-made, professional-looking, sports like hype videos for both Kurt Angle and Bobby Lashley. This reminds me of the Joe/Angle build for Lockdown 2008, which was the only time TNA ever really popped a buyrate. This big encounter happens next week, and even though the result was spoiled weeks ago, I’ll be interested to see what the TV rating is.
Hair vs. Hair:
Rockstar Spud vs. Ethan Carter III
Hometown boy Rockstar Spud has the crowd 100% behind him at the opening bell as he gets a hot start pummeling Carter into the corner. Spud controls the fight to ringside, setting EC3 in the barbers chair for a running drop-kick. EC3 cuts off Spud’s momentum with a big boot, but Spud still engages in a slugfest. EC3 drops Spud with a hard clothesline to send us to commercial. We get a warning of Graphic Violence to follow. Back from break, EC3 crotches himself in the ropes, allowing Spud to set up a somersault senton to the floor! The ref checks on Carter while Tyrus runs in to power bomb Spud on the floor. EC3’s arrogance leads to a 2 count, while Mr. Anderson runs in to put Tyrus down with a Mic Check. EC3 uses his protective brace as a weapon to knock down Anderson and Spud (busting Spud open in the process). Spud sells like a champ while EC3 targets his open wound. Jeremy Borash interferes with a low blow on EC3, allowing Spud to get a near fall. The video turns to black and white whenever Spud’s forehead is in view, which is pretty distracting. Carter repeatedly slams Spud’s head into the canvas, but Spud defiantly hulks up for a comeback. Testicular claw by Spud, followed by an enziguri. EC3 blocks Sliced Bread and nails a braced clothesline for only 2! Spud pulls himself up but Carter plants him one more time for the devastating pinfall victory at 12:35 (shown). This match told a hell of a story, with Spud expertly playing the underdog role but still coming up short. The insanely hot crowd helps too, ***½.Winner: Ethan Carter III
-EC3 grabs a mic and admits that Spud has the most heart he’s ever seen in a professional wrestler. He seems to have a change of heart, expressing regret for ruining their friendship, and saying that Spud has proven he belongs on Impact Wrestling. EC3 says he won’t shave Spud tonight because he proved he’s a man. He offers a handshake and Spud cautiously accepts. Of course, it’s a swerve, as Carter attacks Spud as he’s leaving the ring and places him in a Tree of Woe for his haircut. Carter takes great delight in all of this.
Final Thoughts: I’ll be damned, but everything about this particular episode clicked and just flat-out worked. The heroes look heroic, the villains looked villainous, and the live audience ate everything up. This was easily the best episode of Impact Wrestling I’ve seen in years. Big thumbs up.
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