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Wrestling Revolver: Cage of Horrors- June 22, 2024

by DocAllen

Cage of Horrors

Mike Bailey video promo. He's sick of Alex Shelley calling him a loser.

Live from the Horizon Events Center in Clive, Iowa. Attendance looks healthy, the small room is packed with fans. The promotion is touting 1,000 fans on their Twitter account. Pieces of the Cage of Horror are scattered at ringside and will probably come into play throughout the night. Our hosts are Veda Scott and Bork Torkelson.

Hoss Fight:
Crash Jaxon vs. Jake Something (with Havok)

Jaxon hits an immediate Crash Landing for 2. Jake takes a timeout. Havok's distraction doesn't work, Crash clocks Jake outside. Havok prevents a dive, Jake ambushes with a haymaker. Jake hits a flying shoulder block to outside. Fans chant "F*ck The Unit." They exchange strong elbow strikes until Jake rakes the eyes. Crash answers with a snug headbutt, but Jake responds with a strong powerbomb for 2. Havok interferes again, allowing Jake to hit a Black Hole Slam to win at 5:42! That was abrupt. This short match featured nonstop action and some shenanigans, **.
Winner: Jake Something

Fulton vs. DEFY World Champion Marina Shafir

They ran a music video hype package before the bell, don't you dare accuse this match of not having a story. Marina hits a running boot at the bell, Fulton grabs her neck, but she hits a Judo takedown. Fulton smashes her face and goes to work on her skull. Marina attacks the nose in a head scissors, but Fulton repeatedly smashes her into the cage wall at ringside. Fulton lawn darts her into the buckles, but Shafir takes him down for a shotgun dropkick. Messy Tiger Fade Kick by Shafir, then a Crucifix Pin for 2. Fulton answers by driving her chin into her knees and hits a mean powerbomb for only 2. Marina flips the bird, so Fulton punches her in the jaw for a close nearfall. Marina grabs Fulton's hair for another Judo throw and locks on Mother's Milk. Fulton smashes her into the buckles and reverses into a power slam. Shafir pulls him back into Mother's Milk and prevents a rope break by trapping the arm. Fulton submits at 8:31! Super fun chess match, these two have unbelievably great chemistry together, ***.
Winner: Marina Shafir

The Crew (Rich Swann and Matthew Palmer) vs. Ace Austin (with Gia Miller) and Jake Crist (with His Boy Bobby)

These guys hate each other, so they start brawling before the bell. Ace throws Crist into a leg drop. Asai Moonsault by Crist nearly sends him into the first row. Bobby attacks Swann with bionic elbows, Miller attacks Palmer with big boots. The match finally settles into Crist vs. Palmer. Bobby trips Palmer, The Crew convince the referee to toss Bobby and Gia. Now it's The Crew's turn to use dirty moves to take control of Crist. Palmer hoists Crist in a Razor's Edge position for Swann to hit cheap enziguris and a brutal cutter. Crist tricks Swann into chopping the ring post, Ace runs wild on a hot tag. The Stupid Sexy Stomp gets 2 on Swann. The Unit try to save face, but Crist throws Palmer into the buckles. Swann blocks a Tiger Suplex and hits a spin kick on Crist! Match totally breaks down, Swann tries a frog splash but Crist catches him in mid-air for an INCREDIBLE cutter! Ace hits a Doomsday Blockbuster, but Alex Shelley pulls the referee away from the pinfall! Shelley low blows Crist, and smirks while The Unit hit Ace with a double brainbuster. Shelley tosses the ref back in just in time to count Swann's pinfall at 10:32. Booo! These guys were tearing it down until Shelley arrived to ruin everything, ***¾.
Winners: The Unit

The Unit aren't satisfied until they beat up Miller too. If only Jim Ross were here to condemn their black souls to Hell.

PWR Tag Team Championship:
Good Lucha Things © (Samuray Del Sol and Lince Dorado) vs. Bang and Matthews (Davey Bang and August Matthews)

Del Sol and Dorado are makeshift champions and Bang and Matthews are making their Revolver debut, so neither team probably belongs in this match. But you know what, this is a monthly indie fed, so don't worry about it. Dorado and Bang start with a really energetic back and forth sequence. Matthews and Del Sol tag in for their own feeling out sequence. Bang and Matthews get tossed out for stereo planchas. The Luchadores embarrass Matthews with arrogant tandem offense. Bang gets a hot tag and arranges for the Luchadores to receive rapid dives. Matthews tosses Bang into a guillotine leg drop! Bang and Matthews hit a crazy quadruple stomp for only 2. Bang drapes Del Sol, but Lince rakes his back, but takes Matthews' blockbuster, sacrificing Bang in an inverted DDT! Fans chant “This is awesome!” Bang hits a double stunner. Dorado springboards into a dropkick, and Matthews catapults Bang into a spear, forcing Del Sol to break the pin! Bang and Matthews try another catapult spear, the Luchadores counter into a sweet Destroyer for only 2! Dorado misses a dive, Matthews rolls Del Sol up for a close nearfall. Dorado almost hits Del Sol with a belt but holds back to hit Bang instead. Dorado finishes Bang with a Swanton Bomb at 12:25! Holy smokes, these guys caught lightning in a bottle here, ****½.
Winners and still PWR Tag Team Champions: Good Lucha Things

Alan Angels hijacks the show with a video promo. He hasn't been booked in months and is going to do something about it.

Frat House Rules:
Alpha Sigma Sigma (Brent Oakley and Dick Meyers) vs. RED (Steve Maclin and Alex Colon, with Killer Kelly)

ASS bring a beer pong table to the ring and announce they are transferring to the University of Iowa. Frat House rules dictate that unsuccessful pinfalls result in a shot, RED has to chug a beer and do ten dizzy-back spins, and or butt-chug their beer. Kelly enthusiastically wants to do some butt-chugging, but RED talk her out of it. These recaps make me type the most insane sentences. Fans chant “We want butt-chugs.” RED opt for the beer chugging and spinning. All four guys do the dizzy spins and stumble around until locking up. ASS hit stereo spears and clean house. Oakley lawn darts Meyers onto RED before hitting his own dive. RED recover and toast each other with some hard liquor, but ASS ambush with stereo rollups. ASS sit down for their shots, and lure RED into drop toe holds onto their chairs, but RED recover with stereo DVDs through the chairs! Oakley mounts a one man comeback and pours ping pong balls around the ring as if they were thumbtacks. Oakley flies into Colon's sitout powerbomb for 2, Colon must take a shot. RED toast bears and pour them over Oakley. Colon enjoys a beer while diving onto Meyers. Oakley surprises Colon with a stunner for only 2, that's a shot. Oakley opts for a butt-chug, enjoys a slice of pizza, but Maclin ambushes with a strong forearm. Maclin uses the pizza box as a weapon, which hurts more than you'd expect. RED drape Oakley on a beer pong table and waterboard him with booze. Maclin hits a spear against the door. KC Jacobs breaks the pin and gets powerbombed through a door for his trouble. Oakley runs wild with a tack covered paddle. Oakley dropkicks RED through the door! Oakley climbs the ropes, but Kelly begs for mercy. He grabs her by the hair, Meyers limps back and TURNS ON OAKLEY WITH A LOW BLOW! Kelly plants a kiss on Meyers and he stomps Oakley into a heap. RED put Oakley through a door bridge with stereo elbow drops, and that's a wrap at 17:56! Absolutely insane sports entertainment, with a wacky stipulation that was amusing at times, and a distraction at others. I continue to be amused that the preppy college kid is being booked as the ultimate underdog, but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't very entertaining, ***¼.
Winners: RED

RED shaves off Oakley's mustache. Not only does this make RED look like bigger d!ckheads, but maybe now Oakley can move past the Frat Boy gimmick.

INTERMISSION! They replay Marina Shafir defeating Mike Bailey some months ago, which seems counterproductive since Bailey is challenging for the World title tonight. I suppose Bailey might actually win the title and then Shafir is a natural first challenger, but it feels like Shelley is entrenched with the gold. I guess I'll just have to let things play out and see where they go.

PWR Remix Championship:
Gringo Loco © vs. Myron Reed vs. Lio Rush

Fans chant for Gringo at the bell. Rush looks totally out of his mind tonight. The three way standoff leads to Reed getting tossed out. Rush tries a rana, Gringo cartwheels to safety. Reed returns for the disruption and nails a chin crusher on Gringo. Reed dropkicks Lio's face but then eats a powerbomb. Gringo press slams Rush into position for a standing moonsault. Reed hits an awkward neckbreaker counter on Gringo, who then turns it around to nail a dive. Rush capitalizes with a reverse tornado DDT on Gringo. All three guys return to the ring for rapid drive by finishers. Gringo and Reed slug it out until Reed hits a kip up neckbreaker. Rush ambushes Reed with a spin kick. Rush hits a pair of high speed topes and then a frog splash on Reed for 2. The Frat Rules match ruined me, I feel like Rush should take a shot. Reed hits a stunner on Rush, then tries a flying cutter, but Rush nails a poison rana on the floor! Fans chant “Holy $hit!” Gringo ambushes Rush with a Spanish Fly, Reed breaks the pin with a mean 450 splash! Reed drinks from Rush' mysterious cask, which causes him to pass out. Fans chant “you f*cked up!” Rush seems to have Reed where he wants him, but Gringo interrupts with a flying stunner. Reed is apparently poisoned and might be dead, so Gringo easily pins him at 12:49. This was an amusing marriage of peak indie spottiness and sports entertainment, ***½.
Winner and still PWR Remix Champion: Gringo Loco

Rush reclaims his cask and hauls Reed away.

"Emmy Award Winner" PWH vs. Danhausen

PWH shows his true loyalty by donning an MLW hat. Danhausen steals it for some mockery. Danhausen casts a curse on PWH which only has a temporary affect. Spinning side slam by PWH gets 2. Danhausen recovers with a corner splash and 10 punches. Bulldog by Danhausen, then a flying ax handle for 2. JWH turns it around with clubbing offense and pauses to take a selfie. Danhausen summons his evil side with a questionable attack near the groin and stomps PWH into the buckles. He grabs the jar of teeth, but JWH hits a jawbreaker, side Russian leg sweep, and falling headbutt for only 2. Kayla Kassidy arrives to distract PWH, and Damian Chambers attacks for the blatant DQ at 6:18! Chambers is only in business for himself and attacks Danhausen too. He's furious that he can't get booked despite all his accomplishments. Chambers has the match restarted as a triple threat, and the ref actually plays along. Danhausen tries to curse Chambers and Kayla, but they're immune to his spells. Maybe not, Kayla accidentally low blows Chambers, and Danhausen pours teeth down his throat. PWH drives Chambers, Danhausen helps him make the cover, and they're declared co-winners at 7:43. Was this actually a handicap match? Who cares, **.
Winners: PWH and Danhausen

REVOLVER World Champion Alex Shelley and The Crew come to the ring to gloat that Mike Bailey actually can't be here tonight. They ceremoniously count Bailey out, but they're cut off by Ace Austin's music. Gia Miller limps out with the chair that shattered her leg, and Ace jumps The Crew from behind.

REVOLVER World Championship:
Alex Shelley © (with The Crew) vs. Ace Austin (with Gia Miller)

Ace cleans house and nails a Sasuke special onto The Crew. Springboard missile dropkick by Ace, a new ref makes it official. Palmer interferes by pulling Ace's groin into the post. The fans chant profanities at Shelley while he picks Ace's leg apart. Austin makes a comeback, despite interference from The Crew, but he nearly takes out the referee. Shelley hits a blind low blow, Ace kicks out! The ref disarms Shelley of the title belt, but Ace inadvertently wipes him out. The Crew's interference backfires, and Shelley takes them down. Shelley finally clocks Ace with the title, but Jake Crist pulls the ref away from the pinfall. Ace low blows Shelley and hits a Blockbuster to win at 6:43! Super fun sprint to end the first hour of Raw in 1998, ***.
Winner and new REVOLVER World Champion: Ace Austin

I half expect Ace's victory to be overturned, but it sticks and they move on to a second intermission. This time they replay a super fun match between Matt Cardona and PWH, with awesome crowd heat, lots of interference from Steph de Lander, and a guest appearance by Bully Ray. Cardona gets powerbombed through a flaming table and pinned after a grueling back and forth contest with tons of shenanigans. It's seriously a ****+ type main event. Good distraction.

Cage of Horrors:
1 Called Manders vs. Matthew Justice vs. Mance Warner

Good luck topping the intermission replay, guys. This isn't your typical cage match, there are only cage walls on two sides of the ring. There's also a scaffold, tables, and doors all over the place. Three way brawl to start, Mance is immediately tossed through a door. Mance throws the ref into the others and delivers some low blows. Mance grabs a stapler gun, but it gets used against him. Manders staples Warner's tongue, then Justice hits a spear through a door. Manders and Justice are free to duke it out. Justice cannonballs Manders through a chair. Mance comes back to life and unleashes rapid screwdriver shots. Despite bleeding heavily, Mance controls the action until Justice takes the screwdriver to his limbs. Mance almost casually tosses Justice through a door! Manders wakes up and power slams Mance through a door, then turns around for a Justice spear! Mance sets a table on fire, but Manders powerbombs him through the flames! Justice breaks the pin! He then DVD's Warner onto a piece of guard rail. Manders tackles Justice through a table! After a breather, Manders fills the ring with doors, Justice collects barbed wire. All three guys return to the ring for a broken door duel. Mance takes a double powerbomb through a door. Manders hits a decapitation lariat on Justice for 2! Manders sets up a new table, but Justice DVD's him through it for a good nearfall! With Manders buried under a pile of debris, Justice climbs up the scaffolding. Justice smiles while hitting a frog splash onto the pile of doors, but Mance breaks the pin! Mance sets the door pile on fire and slams Manders onto the flames to pin him at 24:27! Grueling hardcore stunt show, they maintained great intensity throughout and kept amping up the violence until the bitter end, ****.
Winner: Mance Warner

Final Thoughts: You can tell the industry is in a good place when an indie fed in Iowa can pack 1,000 fans into a building to watch the current crop of independent stars build their careers and reputations. This show provided great entertainment, recommended.

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