- I think it would be best to call this Fury Half-Hour, because the ESPN Classic version cuts shows down to a half-four format, but whatever. I was up late and I couldn't believe that ESPN Classic was still airing old AWA episodes, but then THIS came on. The UWF. Not Bill Watts' UWF, that was eventually bought out and morphed into JCP, but a UWF started up by a guy named Herb Abrams, who took advantage of the fact that Watts never put a copyright on the name, and thus swept in and did so himself,no doubt tricking a few people into thinking THAT UWF was coming back.
By 1991, that standards and development of wrestling was seriously different from the days of the territories. With WWF reigning supreme as a company with global exposure, and the recently renamed World Championship Wrestling trying to keep up, there wasn't a whole lot left other than Independent promotions trying to get by with local, new talent, and the few names not presently signed by one of the big two, or off with long-term commitments in Japan. The UWF pretty much went the route of the latter. While they did have a handful of names unknown to the national audience, their roster consistedly mainly of wrestlers who either wore out their welcome or were probably considered useless at the time.
- This weeks episode, piecing together the commentary, aired a few weeks before the Beach Brawl PPV. The less said about that poor excuse for a PPV, the better. I'm only really doing this episode for the fact it was taped outside the Nickelodeon lot at Universal Studios! You can even see the giant, orange, vomit-looking logo of Nickelodeon every now and then, and yes, I love outdoor shows, even when the attendance was roughly 250 people, and that's probably being generous. Oh, and the dynamic duo of Craig DeGeorge and Lou Albano are calling the action. That's still better than Craig and Bruno Sammartino. I mention this all the time, but Craig DeGeorge eventually got a real job as Craig Minervini and has been doing Marlins pre-games for the last decade or so. Lou Albano was screaming "it's all real!" until the day he died a couple of years ago.
Lockup to start, and Henderson takes Lynx over with an arm drag. Lockup and the Lynx returns the favor. Henderson with a go-behind waistlock, then a half-nelson pin attempt for a two count. Lynx with some quick moves, resulting in a drop toe hold. Lockup into the corner, and Henderson drives a shoulder to the midsection. Whip to the corner, and a monkey flip is countered and Henderson takes Lynx down with a clothesline. Lou Albano admits wetting the bed at 19 years old, because he drank so much beer. Henderson presses Lynx into the air, then slips diving off the top rope for whatever the hell he was trying to do. I keep wanting to call Henderson "Johnson." Lockup to the corner, and Lynx conncts with a heel kick to the mdsection, then knocks Henderson down with a knee lift. They counter stuff and Lynx misses an elbow. Henderson with a scoop slam, then goes for a piledriver, but Lynx escapes with a back drop. What the HELL is Lou Albano talking about on commentary? I swear, I heard names like Babe Ruth, Abe Lincoln, and Ronald Reagan dropped in a span of 45-seconds. Irish whip, and they blow a dropkick somehow. Henderson goes for a suplex, but it's countered with a snap suplex from Lynx. The pussycat goes to the top rope but gets taken down with an atomic drop. Irish whip, and Lynx with a crummy clothesline. Lynx fakes Henderson out, then counters an atomic drop with a victory roll, and that thankfully ends this at 5:09. Sloppy, boring, and just a chore to watch, plus some atrocious commentary. It makes me want to listen to Superstar Billy Graham... almost.
Lockup into the corner, and Blair with a clean break. Zhukov with a side headlock, but Blair comes back with a yank of the beard. Bigelow gets the tag and does the same. Blair with a snapmare and elbow, followed by a slam. Orndorff tags in for a double back drop. Brooks tags in and grabs a headlock, followed by as shoulder block. Irish whip, and Orndorff with a dropkick. Bigelow tags in and headbutts the lower back. Irish whip and Bigelow with a back elbow. Bigelow takes Brooks over with a suplex, followed by a snapmare and head scissors. Blair tags in, and does that dumb bee thing before coming off the top rope with an axehandle. Blair gets caught in the heels corner and gets triple teamed. Orton tags in as we take a quick break. We return, with Orton hammering away. Orton wipes his ass on Blair's head (I'm not kidding), and Zhukov comes in for more Jobber-level offense. Irish whip, and Brooks in with a back elbow. Brooks with a snapmare, and Zhukov tags in to grab a front facelock. They do a TERRIBLE job at the fake hot tag spot, and Blair continues to take a weak beating. Then they do it again?! Why would you repeat the same stupid spot when it got no reaction the first time?! Brooks with a splash for a two count. Zhukov tags in and grabs a bearhug. Albano constantly yells at the heels, and they're actually taking time to chatter back. They do the fakr hot tag spot AGAIN!!!! Zhukov with a slam, and Brooks comes in to miss an elbow. Bigelow gets the heatless tag and hammers away on Brooks. Whip to the corner, and Bigelow charges in with a splash. Bigelow with a headbutt for a two count. Orton tags in and takes Bigelow into the heel. Bigelow fights free and pounds Zhukov. Everyone comes in for a pier-six brawl, but it ends with Bigelow leveling Zhukov with an enziguri, then something happens off camera, allowing Bigelow to make the pin at 7:02. Blech... I find it funny, that two guys who were actually above the status of scrub (Orndorff and Orton) barely saw any time in the ring. This was basically Blair vs. Zhukov and Brooks, which seems like a really lame squash match on Superstars circa 1988.
Final Thoughts: I didn't really know what to expect going into this episode, and I still don't know what to say about it afterwards, other than that the wrestling was pretty bad. The lack of a crowd really makes it hard to watch, and the fact they kept trying to do spots that would generally cause a reaction just fell flat on their ass because it wasn't working. Every match seemed like a chore to sit through, thanks to the god awful PBP from Captain Lou, who I don't think once mentioned anything of significance going on in the promotion regarding any of the participants. I don't know, maybe Bruno would've been a better choice to listen to after all. I was thinking of maybe doing these occasionally when I am actually up to watch them, but this one episode already made me tire of them.