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GCW: I Can't Feel My Face- June 16, 2024

by Doc Allen


Live from the Nile Theater in Mesa, Arizona. The room has night club vibes and about 120 fans stuffed in. Dave Prazak and Jordan Castle are on commentary.

Previously on GCW: Fans threw garbage at Blake Christian after he took down Joey Janela. Blake was stripped of the GCW title by Matt Cardona, but he's still wearing the strap and insisting he's the champion.

ROH Women's TV Champion Billie Starkz vs. Hunter Drake

They trade friendly nearfall attempts until Billie kicks the head. Hunter hits a mean knife edge chop. Hunter flips off the fans before hitting a Code Red on the floor. I think Billie has a slight size advantage over Hunter, but is the natural babyface and takes a beating. Billie escapes a chinlock and trades blows with the aggressor. She builds steam with running clotheslines and a vicious brainbuster onto her knee. Hunter blocks an avalanche suplex and serves a shotgun dropkick. 450 splash by Hunter, Billie reverses the pin attempt. Billie counters Code Red into a buster and nails the Swanton Bomb to win at 8:43. Okay TV format opener, just two young talent getting their reps in, **.
Winner: Billie Starkz

Man Like DeReiss vs. Jack Cartwheel

The fans enjoy DeReiss' rapping and Jack's cartwheels, wonder who will emerge as the de facto heel. They trade friendly offense, Jack pops the crowd with his cartwheel taunt. DeReiss tries to cartwheel too, but his butt won't cooperate, so he gives Jack a stinkface instead. Yeah, that's a sentence I just typed. Jack escapes a shoulder vice and cartwheels into position for a DDT. Uranage by Cartwheel gets 2. Jack pulls up his tights for a stink face, but DeReiss counters into a wheelbarrow suplex. Shotgun dropkick and Blue Thunder Bomb by DeReiss gets a good nearfall. Jack answers with a cartwheeling DVD, then a slingshot double stomp. Jack delivers the Sasuke Special, DeReiss fires back with a stiff superplex. They tease a double KO, DeReiss kips up and chops the chest. Jack gets fired up and hits a FIGHTING SPIRIT CARTWHEEL CHOP! They trade rapid nearfalls, Jack hits a tight neckbreaker, DeReiss kips up for a cutter! DeReiss hits Cool Runnings (450 splash) to win at 11:20! This had athletic highspots and a hot crowd, making for a good time, ***¼.
Winner: Man Like DeReiss

Sh!thouse (Rob Sh!t, Sam Stackhouse, Brayden Toon, and Jordan Cruz) vs. YDNBGDK (Alex Price, Cole Radrick, Jordan Oliver, and Bodhi Young Prodigy)

I wonder what Rob Sh!t's NXT name would be? Bobby Poop? Robert the Pooh? Worth a thought (Editor's Note: knowing WWE, probably "Kelson Trance"). Cruz and Oliver start things with the Battle of the Jordans. Bodhi enters with a double stomp to the wrist. Cruz suplexes the life out of Bodhi. Rob tags in but suffers a flurry from Bodhi. Rob has better luck with a springboard splash. Fans chant for Stackhouse while Toon works Cole over. Price leaps off Cole's back for a senton. Stackhouse tags in for some house cleaning. Stackhouse inadvertently knocks his entire team off the apron. TDNBGDK are suddenly in control and gang up on Stackhouse. Cruz recovers with a superplex, but Cole is ready for a Swanton Bomb. Cole dives onto the field, frankly I'm surprised that he's heavy enough to knock them all down. Toon takes a turn with an Asai moonsault, then Cruz with a somersault tope. Rob totally botches his dive, and the fans give him a somewhat friendly "you f*cked up" chant. Bodhi saves face with a much better dive. Stackhouse no-sells Bodhi's high crossbody and he dives onto everyone else! Crowd loves it. The match breaks down with everyone taking turns hitting finishers. Gahbage Daddies finish Cruz with an Electric Chair Double stomp at 11:51! This was certainly sloppy but served it's purpose of adding some party time to the card, **½.
Winners: YDNBGDK

1 Called Manders vs. Zilla Fatu

Fans are vocally behind Zilla at the bell. Manders hits a chop, causing Zilla to hit a flurry of clubbing offense. Manders wants more, they exchange shoulder blocks, Zilla explodes with a belly to belly suplex. The brawl spills to ringside, Manders clotheslines the ring post and gets suplexed onto the ring frame. Zilla hits a guillotine leg drop on the apron. Manders bites the tape off of Zilla's thumb and nails a hammerlock suplex. Zilla takes a beating but answers with a Samoan Drop to buy time. Manders blocks the Samoan Spike with his teeth, Zilla bites his arm, but Manders answers with a clothesline from behind for 2. Zilla backdrops Manders into position for a slick tope! Big splash by Zilla gets 2. Manders responds with a lariat for an unsurprising 2 count. Manders wins a slugfest, but Zilla nails a Uranage and Samoan Spike to win at 10:36! Really strong showing by Zilla, he looks like a star in the making, ***.
Winner: Zilla Fatu

Kylie Rae vs. Megan Bayne

It's heartwarming to see Kylie back on the indies with a smile on her face. She's easy to root for, especially against the imposing Bayne. Kylie gets easily taken down so she pauses for some stretching. Kylie leaps onto Bayne's back for a sleeper but gets quickly knocked down. Kylie puts together a string of quick attacks, but Bayne catches her for an overhead release suplex. Butterfly suplex by Bayne, then a big splash for 2. Kylie takes a beating before hitting the Kylie Special for 2. Bayne survives a crossface and unleashes forearm blows. Take-down chop by Bayne, then a pair of exploder suplexes. Samoan Drop by Bayne gets 2. Kylie desperately throws ineffective shots and gets knocked down again and again. Kylie switches to a DDT to buy time. Kylie blocks a powerbomb but Bayne nails the STF-5 for 2. Kylie reverses into a crucifix pin, then a crossface. Bayne powers out, they trade reversals. Decapitation and Tombstone Piledriver by Bayne ends it at 10:07. Average match with good David vs. Goliath dynamics, **½.
Winner: Megan Bayne

Moonecizos (Sandra Moone, Ciclope, and Miedo Extremo) vs. THRUSSY (Effy, Allie Katch, and Dark Sheik)

Allie tries to use her womanly charms on Extremo, but Ciclope sneaks in to plant a kiss on her lips. This causes friction between Los Macizos, but Effy offers to kiss both of them. They toss Effy, leaving the women to take a turn mixing things up. Feels like Lucha rules so far, no tags are being made and everyone is taking turns picking their spots. Effy removes Los Macizos with running boots, and drops his crotch onto Moone's chest. Ah, the things these reviews force me to type. Moonecizos recover for a nifty tandem Code Red on Effy. Allie saves the match, runs through Los Macizos for a hip attack on Moone, then hits a DDT on Extremo. Ciclope steals another kiss on Allie, Sheik makes him pay with a roundhouse kick. BUSSY hit a Doomsday Rough Ryder. Match devolves into another 3 on 3 brawl. Moonecizos clear the ring for a series of crowd pleasing topes. Los Macizos give Effy a Doomsday Device through a door bridge, Allie breaks the cover! Moone tosses Allie, Sheik ambushes with a shotgun dropkick and powerbomb. Sheik misses a flying leg drop, takes the Moone Thunder Bomb for 2. Sheik reverses into a driver to win at 8:44! Shameless spotfest to get the crowd going, **½.
Winners: THRUSSY

Fuego Del Sol vs. Sam Stackhouse

Sam is subbing for Nick Gage, who was injured competing in a Deathmatch last night. Sam politely lays down for Del Sol but throws him through the ropes on a kick out. Sam prepares a tope, Del Sol springboards at him, but his rana is blocked. Sam hits a corner splash, but Del Sol answers with a quick assortment of kicks. Sam blocks a Tornado DDT and nails a momentous spin kick. The fight spills into the crowd. Del Sol hits a leaping senton from a stage! Del Sol follows with a Coast to Coast dropkick and corkscrew senton for only 1! Del Sol blocks a chokeslam and double stomps the back of the skull! Sam's straps come down and he climbs for a moonsault. Del Sol cuts him off and hits a sunset flip powerbomb! Del Sol hits a tornado DDT, Stackhouse stumps to his feet and suffers a Canadian Destroyer to get pinned at 9:07. Crowd enjoyed this a lot, I thought it was just okay, **¼.
Winner: Fuego Del Sol

Emil Jay hosts GCW World Champion Mance Warner in the ring. Mance is upset that Blake Christian is still calling himself the GCW Champion. He agrees with Matt Cardona's decision to strip Blake when he couldn't make a date he'd agreed to. Maybe next time, Blake should ask Tony Khan for permission first. Joey Janela interrupts and gives Mance a big “F*** You” on behalf of the people of Arizona. Joey tells off a heckler and vows to become champion again. Broski Jimmy jumps Joey from behind, so it's main event time.

Broski Jimmy vs. Joey Janela

Jimmy starts with a big advantage and softens Joey's back with a hard Irish whip. Jimmy sets a door up in the ropes, but Joey tosses him into it. Joey fills the ring with plunder. They battle for position on the top rope until Joey hits a sunset bomb onto a standing chair! Jimmy pops up (no-sells) and throws chairs into Joey's face. He stomps a door into Joey's face and gets a cold nearfall. Janela is busted open, blocks a suplex anyway. Jimmy nails a lariat, Joey instantly answers with a powerbomb. Joey hauls Jimmy onto a chair platform, Jimmy hits a low blow and PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! Jimmy pulls Joey up for a BRAINBUSTER through the chairs! Joey kicks out! Jimmy tries a DVD, Joey hits a low blow and DVD through a ringside door! Janela misses a flying double stomp, Jimmy spears him through a door! Radio Silence by Jimmy, but Janela kicks out! Joey superkicks the Internet title into Jimmy's face and hits a double stomp through a door! Mance Warner breaks the pinfall with a chairshot! Implant DDT on Janela! Megan Bayne runs in to spear Warner! Jimmy superkicks Megan! Joey hits a belt shot on Jimmy and nails a flying double stomp for the pinfall at 14:06! Bell to bell SPORTZ ENTERTAINMENT, I mean that in an affectionate way, ***.
Winner: Joey Janela

Janela and Bayne stand tall while Mance taunts them from the stage. The GCW main event scene has lots of moving parts, and that's a good thing.

Final Thoughts: If GCW had 3 hours on USA Network, it would probably look a lot like this. Nothing incredible, but entertaining from beginning to end. Mild recommendation.

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