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AWF Warriors of Wrestling: Episode 4
by Scrooge McSuck

I'm pumping these babies out pretty fast, now, working on a third show in as many days. We all know how I get burned out fast, but maybe I can try and hold on tight and get through this entire DVD set.

- The Computerized Man of the 90's and Mick Karch are back, and badder than ever! If you didn't read last weeks recap, the AWF Title Tournament will begin this week! The brackets have been drawn up, and it's only a matter of time before we get our first champion. Without much more hooplah, lets go to ringside for the first match of the night (or day).

- 1st Round Tournament Match:
The Superfly vs. Mr. Hughes (w/ Shiek Adnan Alkahassie):

I'm not sure who it is, but the Superfly looks very familiar. I hate when that happens. To the surprise of no one, Hughes is filling in for Hurricane Smith, who was injured at the hands of Mr. Hughes. So we're getting a heel vs. heel match here? That makes a lot of sense. The rounds have been extended for the tournament, but we'll only get into that for the later rounds. Hughes attacks Superfly from behind, stomps on the braced knee of Superfly, and that's basically all that happens. Superfly no-sells a series of headbutts, and returns the favor with his own. Hughes rakes the eyes and boots Superfly in the face, and follows with an elbow drop for the three count at 1:38 of Round 1. Well, I didn't expect it to be that quick of a match. DUD Just a squash match, as Mr. Hughes advances to the second round of the tournament.

- Ken Resnick is backstage with Mr. Hughes and Shiek Adnan Alkahassie. Ken Resnick kind of looks like a nerdy version of the gay guy from the remake of the Stepford Wives. Yes, I keep making the most random of references to entertain myself. Hughes gets to face the winner of the match between Tito Santana and the mighty Hercules.

- 1st Round Tournament Match:
Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Super Destroyer:

Nothing is more threatening than a masked jobber wearing a singlet and a plain white t-shirt. I'm going to assume this match is going to be not much longer than the previous match. Slaughter hands out mini-american flags to the fans at ringside. With that, I have to go get some ice cream to cool off my mouth. Damn red peppers... Anyway, back to the match. Lockup to start, and Slaughter applies a hammerlock. We get some stalling... lockup into the ropes, and Slaughter gives a clean break. Lockup to the corner, and Destroyer misses a cheap shot and goes flying over the top rope. Destroyer takes one of the small flags and breaks it, and now Slaughter is pissed. Hip toss and slam, and Ultimate Destroyer runs to the outside for a breather. Slaughter gives the flag remains back to the fan, in the mean time. Back in the ring, and Slaughter works the Destroyer over. Whip to the corner, and destroyer elbows Slaughter in the mouth. Scoop slam, but the Destroyer misses a headbutt. Slaughter with a big clothesline, and the Cobra Clutch is applied, but the round comes to an end.

Warriors Corner with Cowboy Bob Orton Jr. He's calling out Johnny Gunn.

Round 2: The Destroyer is still down on the canvas as the round begins and starts to get counted down... and Slaughter wins it by Count-Out at the 30-second mark of Round 2. Well, that was pretty cool of an idea, I guess. DUD Terrible for a squash match, though. No point in even having this as a Tournament match. Slaughter celebrates the victory with a bunch of little kids in the middle of the ring. Just as long as nobody invites Mel Phillips into the ring.

- Ken Resnick catches up with the victorious Sgt. Slaughter, and he's sweating like a disgusting pig. I don't know if I prefer Slaughter as a calm soft-talker or as a bad, snarling, nonsensical rambling heel.

- 1st Round Tournament Match:
"Mr. USA" Tony Atlas vs. "Luscious" Tommy Rich (w/ Rico Suave):

I'm not a psychic or anything, but I forsee this match being completely terrible, at best. Atlas is still in pretty good shape, considering how long he's been out of the game. Lockup to start, and Atlas tosses Rich around like a sack of beans. Atlas with a side headlock, but Rich makes it to the ropes for a break. Handshake offer, and Atlas squeezes a little too hard, me thinks. Atlas with a waistlock, but Rich grabs the ropes again. Atlas with an arm drag takeover, and applies an armbar. Atlas uses his legs to stretch out the arm of Rich. I'm so bored, I'm just swatting at my balls at this point. Rich rakes the eyes to escape, then chokes away in the corner as the round comes to an end. Ew. Warriors Corner time, with Gentleman Chris Adams. He faces the Warlord, next week!

Round 2: Rich attacks from behind and works over Atlas in the corner. Atlas fights back with his clubbering blows and a giant headbutt. Atlas to the second rope with a sloppy headbutt... I think. Either way, the momentum sends Rich out of the ring. Atlas tries to suplex Rich back in, but trips, and Rich lands on top for the three count at 1:06 of Round 2. I guess Suave missed his cue, as the broadcasters try and claim he pulled the leg, but he's nowhere near the ropes for the spot, proof of the main camera evidence. -** This match sucked, and the finish sucked even worse.

- Backstage, Ken Resnick is with Tommy Rich, Greg Valentine, and Rico Suave. Rich wants to "rassle" Sgt. Slaughter in the next round of the tournament, I think.

- 1st Round Tournament Match:
Koko B. Ware vs. Nails:

Oh dear God, and I thought the last match was terrible... Koko has his head painted all goofy, like he did back around the end of 1989, start of 1990, and he's wearing his High Energy pants, too. He's doing the bird with the fans in the front row. Nails attacks from behind and chokes Koko across the middle rope. Warriors Corner time, with the Warlord, and he cuts a promo on Chris Adams. Meanwhile, Nails with more choking. Whip to the corner, and Koko over-sells it. Whip to the corner, and Koko with a cross body press for a two count. Nails tosses Koko over the top rope, and it's a Disqualification victory for Koko B. Ware at the 55-second mark of Round 1. Nails continues to beat up on Koko, choking him out with a microphone wire. Back in the ring, and here comes Tony Atlas to stand up for his little buddy... who also happens to be black... against a guy in a prison jump suit... who drools a lot. Nails should've taken a swipe at Frankie on his way backstage.

- Ken Resnick is with Tito Santana, who is sporting one of his "El Matador" jackets. He gets to face Hercules, you know. Speaking of Hercules, he ambushes Santana to end the promo. Good!

- 1st Round Tournament Match:
Tito Santana vs. Hercules (w/ Sheik Adnan Alkahassie):

Will one of these matches go the distance... or longer than 5-minutes? We'll see, but when it comes to Hercules, I'm not begging for it. Taylor hypes up a live event featuring the AWF on May 29th and 30th... whatever. Lockup, and Hercules shoves Santana back to the corner. Lockup #2, with the same result. Hercules with a side headlock. Criss-cross sequence, Hercules blocks a hip toss, but misses a clothesline. Santana with a cross body press, followed by a series of scoop slams, sending Hercules running to the outside for a breather. Back in the ring, and Hercules uses his strength to beat up on Santana. Santana with a surprise small package for a two count, and Hercules uses the tights to leverage throw Santana into the turnbuckle, face first. Irish whip, and Santana goes for a sunset flip, but Hercules is too strong to take over. Hercules with the powerbomb, but the round comes to an end. Poor Hercules...

Round 2: Santana is still crawling around like a retarded bug. Hercules rams Santana into the buckle, and that's enough to make Santana crumple to the ground? Santana with a series of rights to the midsection, but Hercules puts a knee to the midsection, and a roundhouse right puts Santana back on the ground. More punching... Hercules with a scoop slam, then covers laziliy for a two count. Santana counters a slam and nails the Flying Jalupeno, but the Sheik puts Hercules' foot on the ropes. Santana goes for Adnan, but whiffs. Hercules clotheslines his own manager, and Santana with ANOTHER Jalupeno for the three count at 2:34 of Round 2. 1/4* Match was pretty bad, but it wasn't as bad as the Atlas/Rich match from earlier in the night.

- We update the Tournament brackets, with Tito Santana vs. Mr. Hughes and Sgt. Slaughter vs. Tommy Rich already set for the second round. The rest of the 1st Round matches will be taking place, next week, on Warriors of Wrestling. Off topic note: why do I hear songs like Master of Puppets and Seek and Destroy playing for NASCAR commercials? Metallica doesn't scream redneck driving in circle, to me.

Final Thoughts: Well, this episode sure as hell was nothing to write home about. Yes, we got name vs. name matches, but they were either way too short, or just sucked something horribly. Again, the plus side is there were matches featuring names, but that can only take you so far. Let's hope the next weeks show features some guys who are a little more game for it.

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