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AWF Warriors of Wrestling; Episode 3
by Scrooge McSuck

- We're up to our third episode of Warriors of Wrestling. After what I thought was a poor debut show, last week tried to be at least a little bit better by featuring a full-length match, as well as debut a few more rasslers that fans might remember other than "those dinosaurs"... and Bob Orton Jr. We're not promised much for this show, but you never know what you're going to get.

- The Red Rooster and Mick Karch are still at the broadcast position. I have no witty comment for it this time... wait, no... they have the episodes out of order!! This episode is from much later in the series, featuring the Tag Team Title Tournament. Funny enough, it's the one episode I reviewed back in the day, too!

(goes back to the main menu, and clicks "Episode #4)

- Okay, our broadcasters are now Terrific Terry and Mick March.

- "Gentleman" Chris Adams vs. Bobby Bradley:
Okay, I think we're getting jewed over here in terms of the proper order of broadcast. Adams wrestled the last match on Week #2, and the lineup doesn't match, at all, last weeks stuff. Lockup, and Bradley with a side headlock applied. Criss-cross, and Adams takes Bradley over with a monkey flip, and a clothesline sends him out of the ring. Bradley hangs Adams across the top rope, but gets slammed off the top rope for taking too much time. Adams to the top rope, himself, and comes off with a flying clothesline. Irish whip, and Adams applies a sleeper hold. Adams eventually relinquishes the hold, but then plants Bradley with a piledriver. Adams to the top rope again, but he misses a knee drop. Bradley goes to work on the left leg of Adams, and applies a single-leg Boston crab. Bradley rams the knee of Adams then kicks his leg from under his leg. We're counting down the round, and Bradley goes back to working on the leg. Adams escapes with a boot to the face, but Bradley maintains control as the first round comes to an end.

Round 2: Bradley quickly goes after the leg again, ramming it around the ring post. Adams comes back with an enziguri, and hammers away with forearms. Irish whip, and a ba-a-a-ack body drop by Adams. Superkick time, and Adams covers for the three count at the 58-second mark of Round 2. * Not much more than an extended squash match. Chris Adams is now 2-0 in his AWF career, and Bob Bradley is victimized for his third loss in as many matches.

- Ken Resnick is in the big black room with stars to interview Chris Adams, who looks like he hasn't broken a sweat. More hyping the AWF ways of doing things. Whatever.

- Johnny Gunn vs. Jimie V.:
Didn't we get enough of Gunn last week? He appears to have leopard print underpants on, not the most stylish of ring tights. Lockup, and Gunn with a go-behind waist-lock. Jimie V looks to be about 5'6" and maybe 150 pounds, soaking wet and with a brick in his trunks. Criss-cross sequence, and Gunn takes Jimie over with a hip toss, followed by a cross body press for a two count. Gunn with a fall-away slam a la Razor Ramon, and Jimie V. rolls to the outside on the momentum. Gunn with a baseball slide, and I smirk a little bit because that looked like it tasted good for V. Gunn slingshots Jimie back into the ring, but gets poked in the eyes for his troubles. Gunn no-sells the WORST CHOPS I HAVE EVER SEEN and gives Jimie V. some of the most generic chops I've ever seen. Gunn with a slam, followed by a second rope elbow drop. Irish whip, boot, and powerbomb by Gunn for the three count at 3:21. 1/4* Squash match. Johnny Gunn has some terrible music. Yes, all the AWF music is terrible, but this is particularly bad.

- Ken Resnick is back again, with Shiek Adnan Alkahassie and the Mighty Hercules. They're looking for trouble... make it double!

- Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Rico Suave) vs. Ronnie Vegas:
Talking about dinosaurs... Valentine looks not only bored out of his mind, but like he woke up from a power nap. Rico Suave looks like the fat guy from Good Burger. Yes, I made a GOOD BURGER REFERENCE. In 2010. And planned it out. Valentine "bushwhacks" Vegas from behind, to quote Terry Taylor. Warrior Corner time, with THE WARLORD! Wasn't he supposed to be teaming with Nails on this show? Valentine has been beating on Vegas, but it's so dull. Double under-hook suplex by Valentine, followed by a sloppy hammerlock take-over, with Vegas landing on his greasy head. Valentine with a leg drop across the arm. The corner camera gives a nice shot of Vegas' Randy Savage inspired haircut. Vegas with a series of elbows to fight out of the corner, then follows with chops. Whip to the corner, and Vegas misses the charge. Valentine with a knee to the back, followed by a back suplex. Valentine applies an armbar. Vegas gets brought into the corner, and snapmared back out. Valentine misses a leg drop, but still recovers in time to apply a rear chinlock. Valentine calls for the Figure-Four, but continues working the leg over to end the round.

Round 2: Valentine rushes to chop the crap out of Vegas, dropping him like a dirty habit. Valentine to the second turnbuckle, and he comes off with an elbow to the top of the head. Valentine chokes away, posing to a bunch of bored fans "booing" their brains out. Valentine works the leg over, but again Vegas fights out with rights. Whip to the corner, but Vegas collapses. Valentine knocks him over and applies the figure-four for the submission victory at 1:42 of Round 2. DUD Just long and dull. Valentine brought his 19th century offense and no one cares about some unknown jobber that AWF hired off the streets (and yes, judging by his ring attire, Vegas has had a career in wrestling before).

- Ken Resnick is in the interview room with Luscious Tommy Rich, a member of the Rico Suave hang. So... was Tommy Rich EVER anything to wrestling? He seemed over the hill and washed up since the late 80's when IU started watching wrestling.

- Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Sir Oliver Humperdink) vs. Billy Jo Eaton:
Please God, take me out of the warm-up show to the Heroes of Wrestling. Fuck it, I'm sure these shows are more entertaining that the weekend stuff the WWF had on at the time, with the squash matches and features consisting of the Blu Brothers and NEW Head Shrinkers. Blech. Lockup to start, and Orton takes (not Bobby) Eaton over with a hip toss. Lockup again, and Orton with an arm drag this time. Karch mentions Orton being in top condition and having zero body fat, just as the camera closes in on his gut. Not as impressive of a gut as he had wrestling Snuka at the Heroes show, but I just love this stuff. Lockup to the corner, and Orton slaps the taste out of Eaton's mouth. Orton runs out of the ring for a chase, and back inside, Eaton takes Orton over with a series of arm drags, forcing Orton to retreat and converse with Humperdink. Back in the ring, and Orton with a forearm to the side of the head. Eaton fights back, but is caught with a running high knee. Orton connects with the piledriver, and that gets a three count at 3:01 of Round 1. 3/4* An entertaining squash match. Orton looked a lot more energetic and up for it than Valentine did in his match.

- Ken Resnick is with the AWF President, Paul Alperstein, here to announce the brackets for the 16-Man Championship Tournament, to crown the 1st ever, AWF Heavyweight Champion. He even has the belt with him, and it's... decent. Not a fan of the red, white, and blue strap, but it's better than anything Warrior carried around as WWF Champion. Alperstein's lying ass claimed the top 50 names in wrestling signed up for this, but only 16 will be chosen at random, as random as the board on Press Your Luck, I bet. And so, the brackets are decided RIGHT NOW...

  1. Hercules (Sheik Adnan Alkahassie) vs. Tito Santana
  2. Hurricane Smith vs. Superfly
  3. Luscious Tommy Rich (w/ Rico Suave) vs. Mr. USA Tony Atlas
  4. Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Ultimate Destroyer
  5. Koko B. Ware vs. Nails
  6. Johnny Gunn vs. Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Sir Oliver Humperdink)
  7. The Warlord vs. "Gentleman" Chris Adams
  8. Jim Powers vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Rico Suave) Well, that is an impressive bracket for the tournament... for a promotion holding shows in front of 45 people, who all get comped tickets. Alkahassie comes in with Mr. Hughes, pissed off he isn't in the tournament. Hughes didn't pay for the fine, but if he pays, he can be the 1st alternate of the tournament, meaning someone is getting taken out of the tournament to fit Mr. Hughes in. That isn't fair to the 34 people who didn't have their name drawn for the tournament!

    - Hurricane Smith vs. Hawkeye Cody Hunter:

  9. Before the match begins, the Sheik and Mr. Hughes come to ringside and pay off Cody Hunter so that Mr. Hughes takes his spot. I guess Adnan doesn't believe in briefcases, or giving him all singles. It's all a trap though, as Hughes knocks Hunter out and we've got...

    - Hurricane Smith vs. Mr. Hughes (w/ Sheik Adnan Alkahassie):

  10. Hughes hammers away on Smith, and plants him with the sidewalk slam for the three count at 27-seconds into the first round. DUD Not much of a match, but that wasn't the point. Adnan distracts the referee for no good reason as Hughes heads to the top rope, and comes off with a knee to the face. Smith's selling is pretty comical, and he gets dumped out of the ring for his troubles. Hughes follows out, and sidewalk slams Smith on the cement floor. I guess Hurricane Smith is so hurt, that Mr. Hughes will be taking his spot in the tournament to face Superfly (not Jimmy Snuka). Back to ringside, and Smith is still laying around in pain as all the referees tend to his injuries. Here comes a stretcher!

    Final Thoughts: Not the show I was expecting, but at least we got some ground laid out for us for the next few shows, with a bunch of feature matches scheduled. The squashes were minimally entertaining this week, but the next show might bring me some excitement. Until next time...

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