AWF Warriors of Wrestling; Episode 2
by Scrooge McSuck
- I bet you thought I was going to give up on this after that first episode, which featured horrible squash after another, featuring Tito Santana, Greg Valentine, Tony Atlas, Sgt. Slaughter, Nails, and Koko B. Ware, for those of you with a short memory. We've been promised a lot of debuts this week, courtesy of promos from "Warrior's Corner", so without much stalling, let's go to ringside for... Warriors of Wrestling!
- Terry Taylor and that other guy are still manning the broadcast position. I'm going to go out on a limb and say we'll hear about 30 bad jokes that even Carlos Mencia wouldn't steal. What terrible blue screen effects for the broadcast team.
Johnny Gunn vs. Ronnie Vegas:
Well, here we go with the star power, right away. Johnny Gunn had, before this, competed in WCW, mainly as lower card cannon fodder. He would gain better "fame", I guess, as Salvatore Sincere, or just as himself, Tom Brandi, in the WWF. Vegas is just some jobber, so expect a quick squash. Remember, three rounds, consisting of four minutes each. Lockup, and Vegas hammers away. This just keeps going on, for some reason. Whip is reversed, and Gunn with a clothesline in the corner. Sloppy slingshot into the corner, and I feel like that EWR game right now, with the generic comments. Whip to the ropes, and Gunn connects with the double underhook powerbomb, for the three count at 2:08 of Round 1. DUD Total squash, save for the opening minute, and that sucked, too.
- Hercules (w/ Shiek Adnan Alkahassie) vs. Jimie V.:
What the hell is Hercules doing, being managed by some fucking middle eastern stereotype? And yes, Shiek Adnan is best known as General Adnan to the younger fans, and as Billy White Wolf to the really old and sadder ones. Hercules' most recent "big two" showcase was as a masked man in WCW with some generic name that slips my mind right now. Speaking of generic... Jimie V? That sounds awfully familiar... and out of respect for him, I will not be making light of the dead. Well, except Hercules, I guess. Lockup, an Hercules wins that one quite easily, followed by a shoulder block. Jimie V with a series of dropkicks, all no sold by Herc' the Jerk. Hercules with a sloppy chokeslam. The canned heat is borderline WWF circa 1990-91 her. Hercules with a big chop, then some trash talking. Whip to the corner, and Hercules follows in with a clothesline. Hercules with a powerbomb, and that's enough for the three count at 2:41 of Round 1. 1/4* I liked the powerbomb, and not much else.
- Ken Resnick is backstage to interview Hercules and Shiek Adnan Alkahassie. It's the exact same style promo Adnan cut in the WWF when managing Sgt. Slaughter and the Ir... er, Col. Mustafa.
- The Texas Hangmen (w/ Sir Oliver Humperdink) vs. Butler Stevens & Mike Brahm:
I probably commented on them last time, but the Hangmen are just generic masked men dressed like Stan Hansen. The fat one is named Killer, and the less fat one is Psycho. Very original names, I know. But hey, it's something different, right... right?! (Editor's Note: but MUCH better names than "Tough Tom" and "Mean Mike" of "Disorderly Conduct"!) Killer and Stevens start with a lockup. It's Warrior's Corner time, with Sgt. Slaughter. He wants to thank the fans for writing in to the AWF. Back to the action, and Killer isn't selling anything. Killer with a power slam and some pounding. Psycho comes in with a sledge across the back, followed by a back suplex. Irish whip, and Stevens makes the tag out to Brahm. Whip to the corner, and Psycho boots him in the mouth. Irish whip, and Psycho with a sidewalk slam, followed by a Killer elbow drop. Sweet back suplex by Killer, but they keep punishing Braham. Snapmare and elbow by Psycho, then he applies a rear chinlock. Irish whip, and the Hangmen connect with a double elbow. Belly-to-belly suplex by Killer. Psycho with a rude awakening as Killer smashes him in the face, and that's three at 3:43 of Round 1. 1/2* It was a somewhat entertaining squash.
- Ken Resnick is talking with Tito Santana. I don't care enough to listen. It's just hyping up their own shit, again.
- Hurricane Smith vs. Lightning Rod:
Oh my God, what the hell is this? Hurricane Smith looks like the out-of-work, 30 year old former center of a Division II college basketball team, and Lightning Rod is... well, he's a somewhat bigger jobber. I smell ugly all over this one. Rod attacks from behind, but Smith is no-selling. Irish whip, and Smith with a shoulder block. Scoop slam and splash by Smith for the three count at the 45-second mark of Round 1. DUD Well, at least it was pretty damn short.
- Mr. Hughes vs. Bob Bradley:
Bradley is making his second in-ring appearance for AWF (losing to Koko B. Ware last week), the first rostermate to do so. Mr. Hughes last (at this point) activity was stealing the Undertaker's urn and beating up Paul Bearer. Other than that, he didn't really do much in the WWF or WCW. Hughes sucker punches Bradley and pulls away on his face. Irish whip and back drop by Hughes. Warrior's Corner time with... Michael P.S. Hayes?!? Wow, it's sad when he is the highlight of the damn show. I guess he'll be around in the coming weeks. Bradley tries a cross body, but gets caught, and Hughes connects with a back breaker. Irish whip, and Hughes connects with a dropkick!? Sloppy suplex by Hughes, and some trash talkin'. Hughes claws at Bradley's face again. Irish whip, and Hughes with a nasty sidewalk slam for the three count at 2:21 of Round 1. 3/4* Entertaining squash. Hughes made his stuff look pretty cool.
- Ken Resnick interviews the fat bastard, President Paul Alperstein. He wants to enforce the rules, fining Nails $5,000 for his actions last week. Mr. Hughes comes in, and gets fined $3,000 for jump-starting the match. The fuck...?
- Bob Orton Jr. (w/ Sir Oliver Humperdink) vs. Trevor Blanchard:
Blanchard is a horrible, horrible Tully Blanchard clone, including a second rate robe and terrible slicked back hair. Orton is seriously the top heel in this promotion? Lockup to the corner, and we get a clean break. Orton with a takedown, but Blanchard escapes. Drop toe hold by Orton, but he can't keep Blanchard on the canvas. Orton misses a cheap shot in the corner, and Blanchard takes him down with arm drags. Orton with an elbow to the head and some eye rakes to turn the tide, and we get the typically bad canned heat. Orton with a series of knee drops and an elbow across the throat. Orton drops Blanchard throat-first across the top rope, then connects with a piledriver. That gets the three count at 2:35 of Round 1. 1/4* Bob Orton was always a bit underrated to me back in the day, but at this point of his career... past it.
- Ken Resnick interviews Bob Orton and Oliver Humperdink.
- "Gentleman" Chris Adams vs. Ron Powers:
Chris Adams might be one of the few wrestlers on the roster that wasn't 15 years past his prime, but he never had a huge run outside of places like WCCW and USWA to get much recognition from average fans. Lockup into the ropes, and Adams gets shoved on his ass for giving a clean break. Lockup #2, and we get a repeat of the last exchange. Lockup #3 goes all over the ring, and Powers throws himself over the top rope, missing a sucker punch. Adams with a back drop and dropkick, sending Powers out of the ring. Back inside, and Adams applies a side headlock. Powers keeps rolling over into a pinning combination, but Adams rolls out with his momentum. Irish whip, and a shoulder block does nothing. Adams wth a series of arm drags, and he aplies a cross armbar (think Craig Pittman's finisher in WCW, I guess). The clock starts ticking down, as Powers grabs the ropes to break the hold. Whip to the corner, and Adams takes him down with another armbar, but Round 1 comes to an end. Got to give that round to Adams, in my book. Round 2: First match of the night to make it past Round 1. It was starting to feel like Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, after the 867th play-through. Adams quickly takes over Powers and applies that same hold, again. We go to Warrior's Corner again, with Rico Suave and his debuting protege... Luscious Tommy Rich? Ew... Back to the match, as Powers fights his way to his feet. Shoulder block by Adams, but he runs into a press slam. Powers should be selling the arm better, but hey, that's why he had no career. Powers with a knee across the throat, followed by some choking. Powers rams Adams into the corner, and tries to trap him in the tree of woe, and we get some more working over of the neck. Irish whip, and Powers with a clothesline for a two count. Powers applies a dragon sleeper, thus being better than pretty much the rest of the roster, save for Adams. He uses the ropes for leverage, of course. Powers with a knee drop, then applies a rear chinlock. Adams fights up, but gets yanked back down, and time expires for Round 2, and I'd say that Powers won that round. Powers plants Adams with a DDT before the start of... Round 3: Powers boots Adams and drops him throat-first across the top rope. Powers with a series of elbows across the chest, followed by some choking across the bottom rope. Beautiful suplex by Powers. He heads to the top rope, but misses an elbow. Superkick by Adams, and that gets three at 1:26 of Round 3. That came out of nowhere. **1/2 Not too bad of a match. Started out a bit slow, but the action was never really boring, and I liked the way the match worked with the Rounds system.
- Ken Resnick interviews the victorious (or doused in water) Chris Adams. More AWF self-promotion.
- Ken Resnick interviews the Warlord, who will be appearing in a tag team match, next week. Warlord won't say, but then we get a video of Nails beating the crap out of the jobber last week. Warlord and Nails in a tag team? Wow, talk about the worst possible combination you could find. Does that make the Warlord the worker of the team?
Final Thoughts: A bit better than last weeks show. I was entertained by the Hughes and Orton squash, and having a real match in the form of Chris Adams vs. Ron Powers actually gave me something to care about. Not a great show, but an improvement. Next week we'll be seeing Tommy Rich, possibly Michael P.S. Hayes, and the tag team of the Warlord and Nails. I can't wait.