- Last week on Monday Nitro... actually, you know what, screw that. LAST NIGHT AT HALLOWEEN HAVOC (assuming you're reading this thinking the date is October 30th, 1995), Ric Flair did the unbelievable and turned his back on Sting, and announced a reformation of the Horsemen along with Arn Anderson and Flyin' Brian. Lex Luger won his match with Meng (a negative star, 15-minute suckfest), and Randy Savage defeated Kamala, disguised as the Zodiac Man, so they had their big match, and to no one's surprise, Luger dominated until Savage made a fluke comeback for a quick victory. Johnny B. Badd won the TV Title from Diamond Dallas Page, and that pretty much covers it. Fairly uneventful...
...Until we talk about the Main Event. First, the "Sumo Monster Truck Match", the second poorly filmed angle/match in 1995 taking place inside of a motor-vehicle. The lame idea of such a "match" was whatever, but it was capped off in a brawl with Hogan KNOCKING THE GIANT OFF THE ROOF. The WCW broadcast team speculated where he landed, possibly the River (except Cobo Hall is completely surrounded by a parking lot). Roughly 30-minutes later, The Giant, WHO JUST FELL OFF A ROOF, shows up for his match completely fine, as if he just woke up from a good night's sleep and took a good dump.
That's not even talking about the match. Considering the fact that the Giant worked one professional match in his career to this point, he wasn't bad. He wasn't very good, but he looked like he was trying hard enough or recieved enough guidance to not be an embarassment. No, the real embarassment was the finish, which not only included the Lex Luger heel turn everyone expected, but what also looked like a heel turn from Jimmy Hart, as well as the appearance of THE YE-TAY, a 7-foot plus MUMMY who proceeded to do a double-bearhug spot with the Giant on the Hulkster, which to all the world looked like an exhibition in dry-humping. The saddest part about the Ye-TAY was that the man under the rags, Ron Reis, was the second choice for the role. The first? Jorge Gonzales, a.k.a El Gigante, a.k.a The Giant Gonzales, but visa problems kept him out of appearing. So, with all that to digest, let's see how they explain it all on tonight's episode of Monday Nitro.
- Over on Monday Night Raw, Razor Ramon successfully defended his Intercontinental Championship against Owen Hart in a damn good match with a lame finish, Ahmed Johnson made his WWF Debut and slammed the 641 pound Yokozuna (in your face, Lex Luger!), Goldust made his Monday Night Raw Debut by defeating Caribbean Legend Savio Vega, and there was a couple of squash matches. After all of this, I'm already pooped, and I haven't even started on the next episode of Nitro.
- We're live in Dayton, OH, which means that weird Hulk Hogan fan is in attendance! Eric Bischoff, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, and Steve "Mongo" McMichael are on commentary unless otherwise noted.
- We see a replay from September 11th where we got one of the lamest, dumbest, most nonsensical finishes to a match where Savage pinned Norton despite being buried underneath a fat guy. Last week, Norton finally realized what happened and picked a fight with the Shark, so they're going to fight... NEXT!
- Tony Schiavone is in the ring to narrate what happened between Sting, Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, and Flyin' Brian "last night" at Halloween Havoc. This brings out Flair, Arn, and Pillman to confirm, that yes, the Horsemen are alive... but wait, there's only THREE of them. Who's going to be the FOURTH Horseman? You can't have the Horsemen without Four. Makes the whole hand gesture pointless.
- Next week on Nitro... it's INTERACTIVE! You get to pick the matches between the Red and Blue Locker Rooms. My money is on the fans picking Ric Flair vs. Sting.
- In a rare moment of promising something AND delivering, we see extended footage (not photos, actual footage) of last night's Main Event and all the shenanigans that took place. I don't know what WCW's policy was with PPV footage, but for the longest time, WWF only gave us narrated photos when talking about PPV's. Seeing 4-minutes of the PPV Main Event that was televised less than 24-hours earlier was a pretty big deal, I'd say.
- Tony Schiavone is in the ring with Jimmy Hart, The Taskmaster, The Giant, Lex Luger, and the WCW World Heavyweight Championship Belt. Jimmy Hart reveals he's been behind Sullivan and the Dungeon of Doom all along. Sullivan's mocking of Hogan's poor over-selling is funny for all the right reasons. The Giant offers to defend the WCW World Championship against anyone, next week on Nitro. But... isn't Hulk Hogan the WCW Champion? Find out next week on Monday Nitro!
Final Thoughts: Just awful. The entire show was a promise of seeing footage from Halloween Havoc, and while they did deliver on that promise, they failed to deliver with anything else. Filler matches from beginning to end, capped off by an awful Main Event. There's still no word on what is up with the Giant holding the WCW Championship hostage, as we're promised answers "next week", which is a kind of cheap way to prolong an explanation that would typically take 4-seconds to get over. Awful episode, so by default, Monday Night Raw had to be better.