AEW Dynamite
July 29, 2020
by Scrooge McSuck
- Scrooge stepping in this week as our regular AEW correspondent Samoa Rowe is away on assignment. Taped from Daily's Place in Jacksonville, FL. Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone, and Taz are calling the action, unless otherwise noted. Advertised for tonight includes a 10-Man Tag between the Inner Circle, Best Friends and Jurassic Express, Cody defending the TNT Title against Indy-darling Warhorse (or is it WARHORSE), and Hangman Adam Page and Kenny Omega defend the Tag Team Titles against Evil Uno and Stu Grayson of the Dark Order.
The Best Friends & Friends (w/ Marko Stunt) vs. The Inner Circle:
Wow, opening with this? DEMO GOD JERICHO TO THE RESCUE. TBF&F is made up of Trent, Chuckie T, Orange Cassidy, Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy (a.k.a. Jungle Jack Perry in Jim Ross' brain). Jericho is STILL wearing the jacket that is stained with orange juice. Jericho teases starting with Orange, but casually tags in Jake Hager, who towers over Cassidy. OC throws his shin kicks and gets tossed into the corner. Cassidy smacks the ears and knocks Hager into the ropes with a dropkick. Jericho gets a cheap-shot from the apron and we have a pier-six brawl. The Inner Circle all get dumped, with Chuckie T hitting the pile with a somersault plancha. Trent shows him up with an Asai Moonsault. Jungle Boy with a flying head-scissors to throw Santana onto the pile. Hager catches a launched Marko, Luchasaurus catches him on the return, and with Stunt on his back, Luchasaurus dives onto the pile. Jim Ross calls Marko a "male chihuahua". Cassidy puts on the glasses and we get a mega hug. Sammy misses a dive and gets stomped out like a flaming bag of dog poo. Whip to the corner and the BF&F run the train with avalanches as Jim Ross complains about everyone being in the ring. Hager gets a shot in on Trent to the tide. Jericho with a back suplex and running kick to the spine. Santana gets tossed over the top, but he has the wherewithal to trap the ankle. Trent gets pulled to the outside and splattered on the floor with a German Suplex. Back inside, Santana with a well-executed suplex. Aubrey Edwards gets distracted, allowing a 5-on-1 beatdown. Jericho meets a boot charging into the corner and knocked across the ring with a missile dropkick. Santana and Ortiz with a double suplex, followed by an assisted standing moonsault for two. Guevara does reps with Trent on his back before slamming back with a Samoan drop. Trent takes advantage of an arrogant cover and cradles for two. Trent fights out of a chin-lock and takes shots at everyone on the apron. He takes Hager down with an angled back suplex and tags in Luchasaurus. He turns Guevara inside-out with a clothesline and runs wild on the entire Inner Circle. Hager and Luchasaurus with the hockey brawl strikes. Hager lays Luchasaurus out with a clothesline. Orange Cassidy with a Superman Punch to Hager. We get the parade of big moves. Jericho grabs the baseball bat, but Cassidy pulls him out of the ring and tosses him over the guardrail. Guevara goes to the top rope, but MATT HARDY shows up to shove him down, and Luchasaurus finishes with a Chokeslam and spinning knee strike at 12:07. Perfectly fine Multi-Man Tag. I'm not in love with going forward with Matt Hardy vs. Guevara, but we'll let it play out and see where it goes. ***- Jon Moxley with a pre-tape from earlier in the day. He has a rule to mind his own business, but then Cage and Starks put a beatdown on Darby Allin. He'd be a punk b*tch if he didn't do something about it. Let's see how they like it when the odds are even and dares them to bully him. He doesn't start fights, but he always finishes them.
AEW TNT Championship Match:
Cody (c) (w/ Arn Anderson) vs. Warhorse:
This is Cody's 7th defense of the TNT Championship, growing more arrogant in every passing week. Warhorse has a bit of a following on the Indy circuit, but this is my first time really seeing him work. Cody dismissed him on social media, claiming he'll win in less than 5-minutes. Warhorse is introduced at a weight of 4000 pounds of heavy metal. For what feels like a modern-day Warrior (not Kerry Von Erich) gimmick, Warhorse seems a bit... small. Heck, he looks small compared to Cody. Lockup and they trade waist-locks, with Cody casually going to the ropes for a break. Cody with more patronizing in the corner, opening the door for Warhorse. He rolls through a sunset flip and jackknifes Cody for two. Warhorse with a deep arm drag into the arm bar. Cody with a slam, but Warhorse rolls through with the hold. Whip to the ropes and an extended crisscross sees Cody bail out. Back inside, Cody whips Warhorse over with a side headlock. Another crisscross and Warhorse with a lariat (and headbanging) for two. We're only a few minutes in and Warhorse is already over-abusing the headbanging taunt. Cody with a drop toe hold into the corner. Fireman's lift to the apron and Cody rocks him with a hard right hand. Cody brings him down with a super-plex, but it only gets two. Cody showboats with push-ups, drawing the ire of his coach. He starts targeting the leg. Slam and a knee across the face for two. He turns Warhorse over with a single-leg crab, but he fights his way to the ropes. Warhorse immediately rolls over a Figure-Four, sending Cody scrambling for the ropes. Warhorse knocks Cody into the corner with a dropkick and charges in with clotheslines. Whip is reversed and Warhorse puts Cody down with a flurry of strikes. Cody bails out again, with Warhorse coming after him with a double stomp across the back. Back inside, and Warhorse drops a big elbow from the top rope for a near-fall. Cody with an Alabama Slam into a rolling cradle for two. Warhorse counters the Figure-Four with a cradle for two. He sits down on a sunset flip attempt for another two-count. Cody avoids a dive from the top and clips the knee with a basement dropkick. Figure-Four is applied, and Warhorse taps at 10:32. Fine, and at times well worked, but some awkward transitions and Warhorse's gimmick over-load early got a bit annoying. **3/4
Post-match, Cody and Warhorse tease the "good job" handshake, but here comes goons of the Dark Order. Warhorse shoves Cody aside to take them on, but he's quickly disposed of. They go after Cody next, but here's MATT CARDONA to make the save. Woo-woo-woo, it's the former Zack Ryder, looking ripped even more than usual. Yay, another debut either saving or putting a beating on Cody.
- Tony Schiavone is standing by to talk about All Out, but he's quickly interrupted by Chris Jericho and the Inner Circle. He's finally going to give Orange Cassidy a rematch on August 12th, but next week, he's challenging him a debate so he can embarrass him mentally as well as physically. Oh, and the jacket still smells. Santana says it smells like cat piss.
- Earlier Today, FTR signed their AEW deals, which guarantees them the right to host Tag Team Appreciation Night on August 12th. They're joined by Arn Anderson as a consultant to look over the contract, and here's Hangman Adam Page to join them in a celebration glass of whiskey.
AEW Tag Team Championship Match:
Kenny Omega & "Hangman" Adam Page (c) vs. The Dark Order:
Evil Uno and Stu Grayson representing the Dark Order, with an unbeaten record of 8-0 in 2020. Colt Cabana joins the commentary team, with Mr. Brodie Lee and newest-member Anna Jay hanging around. For the record, Cabana isn't a member of the Dark Order, he's just hanging around and enjoying Mr. Lee's friendship. Page goes in for the attack while Omega is still making his entrance. The referee breaks things up as the pot continues to be stirred. Uno attacks Omega from behind and sends him into the corner. Combo side slam and elbow drop on Omega for the first pin attempt of the match. Whip reversed, Omega boots Uno off the apron but gets caught with a boot to the midsection from Grayson. Whip is reversed again and Omega with a tilt-o-whirl back breaker. Whip and we get some tandem offense from Omega and Page, capped off with a running SSP from Page for two. Omega with a springboard double axe-handle. Uno runs in and gets lit up with chops from both men. Page comes off the ropes with a big boot on Uno, followed by a springboard clothesline to Grayson on the apron. He tosses Uno with the fallaway slam and clotheslines him over the top rope. Grayson gets wiped out with a plancha, but Uno steps in to send Page into the post. Back inside, Uno sends Grayson head-first into the midsection of Page. Grayson with a running knee strike for a one-count. They keep Page isolated, utilizing quick tags. Grayson with a slingshot senton with Page on the apron. Page catches Grayson in mid-leap and plants him with a slam. Omega with the hot tag, running through Grayson with double axe-handle sledges. Omega with a rolling senton and springboard moonsault for two. Grayson blocks the snap dragon suplex and tags in Uno. Page makes the blind tag as Omega runs wild on both of the Dark Order. Omega assists Page on the release German Suplex. Grayson counters a pop-up Powerbomb with a head-scissors and takes out Page with a somersault plancha. Uno boots Omega's head into the 3rd row and hits a flying senton for a near-fall. Great tandem Powerbomb from the Dark Order for two. Page gets knocked in the eyes, sending him into the corner for a lengthy recuperation. Omega gets sent into the corner, knocking Page again. Cannonball from Uno as Grayson comes off the top with a 450 splash on Omega for two. Uno uses the referee for an assisted neck breaker. Omega comes back with the snap dragon, but Grayson uses the moment to hit a big frog splash. Page takes out Grayson, plants Uno with a Powerbomb, and the V-Trigger from Omega gets a near-fall. Combo Buckshot and V-Trigger finishes at 13:54. Took time to get going, but this was a classic formula match from the Dark Order before things escalated. ***1/4
Post-match, Brodie Lee dismisses Cabana and Anna Jay from the ring area so he can publicly chew-out Uno and Grayson for their loss. All is well in the Dark Order though, as Lee sends out the rest of his goons after Omega and Page, only for the Young Bucks and FTR to come out and make the save.
- The Role Model Britt Baker is standing by to get something off her chest regarding Big Swole. She knows Big Swole wants to get her grimy hands on her, and after some careful thinking, she's going to give Swole a shot at her... but only if she can beat an opponent of her choice.
Hikaru Shida vs. Diamante:
Shida is the reigning AEW Women's Champion, but this is Non-Title. The entire division has been a work in progress since the debut of AEW. Diamante picked up a big victory over Ivelisse last week to propel her into getting this spot on Dynamite, even if the title isn't on the line. We get a pre-tape on Diamante to hype her up for this match. Shida offers a handshake but Diamante pie-faces her away. Lockup to the ropes and Shida with a clean break. Diamante gets dirty, so Shida starts throwing rights and lands a knee to the midsection. Whip to the ropes, Diamante blocks a right hand and yanks Shida down with a handful of hair. Diamante with ground n' pound and a tussle takes them out of the ring. Shida drapes Diamante across the guardrail and nails a running knee lift. Back inside, Shida comes off the top with a glancing missile dropkick for two. They trade right forearms until Diamante throws a boot. She counters a suplex but Shida knocks her down with a jumping knee strike. Diamante blocks the suplex from the apron and hangs Shida across the top rope. Diamante with a flurry of chops in the corner and a wheelbarrow Stunner for two. Shida blocks the Code Red but is caught with another low boot. Diamante goes for Code Red again and just does a sloppy, slow sunset flip into the ropes. Shida muscles her up with a delayed Falcon Arrow for a near-fall. The sliding knee strike does finish at 5:54. Shida's talented, but another styles clash. Diamante hasn't done much to impress me on either Dark or Dynamite. *1/2- the AEW Women's Tag Team Cup Tournament, a.k.a. The DEADLY DRAW (is that like a Lethal Lottery?) will begin soon. Here are the rules...
- The Tournament is a random draw
- All competitors must draw a color
- Matching colors will become a team
- Selections are final and cannot be appealed
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Unless she's here to be a one-note punching bag for Nyla, WHY?! WHY?!)
- MJF is standing by to give his state of the wrestling business address. He shakes hands (and sanitizes) and kisses a baby (and gargles mouthwash) to really hammer home the joke. He even has banners posted around ringside: MJF 2020: "We deserve better!" He finally takes his position at the podium set in the ring. He thanks Tony Khan for the opportunity to speak to the marks... whoops, people. He's going to force-feed them all like 5-year old's being fed mac and cheese. He insists we use the following hashtags: #MJF2020 and #NotMyChampion. He's happy not to be sidelined for consecutive weeks along with the bench warmers. He's never spotlighted two weeks in a row because a certain individual is afraid to be upstaged. AEW needs a change in leadership. He takes a dig at Moxley. He thinks he's above everyone else because he's from a place of "Titans" and can do whatever he wants. He calls Moxley a great wrestler, HOWEVER, how about the negative side-effects ever since the reign of Moxley started? Good professional wrestling isn't flip-flopping gymnastics. He's not a play-wrestler, he's a real one and he's undefeated. He's going to throw the company on his back and step forward to the very top. He caps it off by challenging Jon Moxley for the AEW Championship at All Out. A little long-winded but got the point across. About time MJF gets a spot at the top of the card without being zip-tied to Cody.
NEXT WEEK: Cody and Matt Cardona vs. Dark Order's John Silver and Alex Reynolds, An Update on MJF's Challenge, FTR, The Young Bucks, Page and Omega vs. The Dark Order in 12-Man Tag Team Action, and the Super Wednesday Debate between Chris Jericho and Orange Cassidy with a special guest moderator. Maybe it's the former Brodus Clay.
Texas Tornado Tag: Jon Moxley & Darby Allin vs. Brian Cage & Ricky Starks:
Last week, Starks ambushed Allin and damn-near knocked him into another dimension. Mox successfully defended the title against Cage a few weeks ago, but Cage has yet to be pinned or forced to tap out since coming to AEW. Darby Allin's music plays, but we don't see any sign of him. We cut backstage where Taz's crew cut a promo promising destruction. Suddenly, Darby dives off the set with a Coffin Drop! Mox and Cage make their way to the ring area while Darby and Starks are still on the entrance platform. Starks with a clothesline to send Allin into the ring. Cage rocks Moxley with a standing roundhouse. He misses Allin on a dive but picks him up to get in place for Mox to get them with a tope suicida. Starks wipes out Allin with a spear on the apron and Cage rattles Mox with a trash can. They head into the ring, and ONLY NOW THE BELL RINGS. They send Mox to the corner for a chest-first bump into the turnbuckle. Mox tries fighting both off but is met with a double elbow. Allin is back, hitting Cage with a missile dropkick. Starks meets the boots charging into the corner and gets knocked into the turnbuckles with a shotgun dropkick. They roll to the apron, with Allin being rammed into the turnbuckle supports. Mox hooks a sleeper, dragging Starks back into the ring, but Cage saves. Cage holds both Mox and Allin in the air and drops down with a duel slam/powerbomb. Cage throws Allin with a release German Suplex for a two-count. Mox comes back in and blasts Starks with a chair. Allin with a float-over Stunner on Cage to kick off a sequence of big spots that leaves everyone down. Mox takes Cage down with a German and connects with a piledriver for two. Mox goes for the cross arm-breaker but Starks saves. They give Mox a spine-buster across the trash can for two. Whip to the corner, Starks meets the post and Cage meets the boots of Allin. Mox saves Allin from a Buckle Bomb and hits Cage with a combo Coffin Drop and DDT for two. Allin pulls out a skateboard with THUMBTACKS attached to the underbelly. He hops the top and SCRAPES THE G-DAMN BOARD ACROSS STARKS' BACK FOR THREE at 6:58. Payback for the whiplash shot from last week, I guess. Post-match, Allin points at Moxley and BREAKING NEWS: Moxley defends against the #5 contender, Darby Allin, NEXT WEEK. Mach was fine garbage brawling. **1/2Final Thoughts: We've seen better wrestling other weeks, but most of what was presented was perfectly fine, with the women's match (as usual) being the lowlight of the night. Almost every match and segment meant something to building to the future, which is far more of a positive than having good matches for the sake of having good matches. The biggest flaw for the week is two debuts: Matt Cardona and... Ariane. At least with Cardona, he's got a following and multiple outlets across social media, but the other... I don't get it. I'm looking forward to next week, as always seems to be the case with AEW Dynamite.
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