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AEW Dynamite- St. Patrick's Day Smash
by Samoa Rowe
March 17, 2021
It's now been an entire year since AEW had to move into Daily's Place full-time. I remember naively thinking that we'd all stay home for a few weeks and this would blow over in time for summer. I was adorable back then. Anyways, Jim Ross, Tony Shiavone, and Excalibur are calling the action.
Earlier today, MJF and his cohorts of Wardlow, FTR, Tully Blanchard, and Shawn Spears, arrived via private jet.
Penta El Zero Miedo vs. Cody Rhodes (with Arn Anderson)
Penta meets Cody on the ramp and they brawl to ringside. Penta lands numerous body shots as they return to the ring. Cody hits a power slam, but Penta answers with Sling Blade. Cody hits an uppercut but Penta blocks Cross Rhodes for a backstabber. Penta showboats in a leprechaun hat and leaves a piece of barricade leaning for later. Back to the ring, Cody counters with a super rana! Penta recovers with targeted attacks to Cody's bandaged shoulder. Cody hits a Disaster Kickoff the apron and sends Penta into the propped rail with a tope suicida! Thrust kick by Cody, then a Canadian Destroyer and Cody Cutter, but Penta kicks out! I can't lie, that 2 count made me chuckle. Cross Rhodes also gets 2, and Coach Arn can't believe it. The Cop Killa gets another nearfall. Penta survives a Figure Four with a rope break. Penta comes back to life and snaps Cody's bad arm, only to get rolled up at 10:13. Displeasing match in that it managed to discredit half a dozen finishing moves and made Penta look like a total loser in the end anyway, **.
Winner: Cody Rhodes
Penta serves a revenge attack, but gets chased off by all the Nightmare Family underlings. QT Marshall arrives too late and is forced to explain why he wasn't there for a 7 on 1 rescue.
Alex Marvez interviews the Young Bucks backstage. They aren't scared of Death Triangle, even though both of them have lost to Rey Fenix in singles matches. Don Callis interrupts to stir the pot, accusing the Bucks of no longer being elite. Don's argument that the Bucks have killed their careers certainly seems strange considering they are the Tag Team Champions.
Jade Cargill vs. Dani Jordyn
This is billed as Jade's second ever official match. Jordyn hesitates while running the ropes and eats Jade's thrust kick. Release German suplex by Jade, and the Implant Buster finishes at 1:19. Jade is all raw athleticism at this stage.
Winner: Jade Cargill
Jade takes some time to mess with Red Velvet in the front row, and they have to be separated.
MJF and his new friends head to the ring to talk. Tully boasts that they took down AEW's greatest group, which makes them the baddest group. Tully compares this new group to the 4 Horsemen. MJF declares himself to be Judas and rants about having to play along with Jericho's comedy bullsh!t. MJF brands the group "The Pinnacle" and puts over each guy (even Spears!). MJF totally knocks this promo out of the park in terms of making this stable seem important.
Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus, and Marko Stunt) and Bear Country (Bear Bronson and Bear Boulder) vs. Big Money Matt Hardy, The Butcher and the Blade (with The Bunny), and Private Party (Marq Quen and Isiah Kassidy)
Stunt starts against Hardy, and Jungle Boy dropkicks him into a crossbody. The match breaks down right away and the Dinosaurs and Bears clear the ring and throw Stunt onto Matt's crew. Hardy bafflingly walks right up to Jungle Boy and gives him a Side Effect with all his teammates standing right there. They cut to commercial. They return from break just in time for a Luchasaurus hot tag. He launches Private Party into the air and hits Blade with a German suplex. He cartwheels under Private Party's clothesline and hits a the tail whip and standing moonsault. Butcher breaks the cover, so Luchasaurus hits a headbutt, but Butcher no sells for a lariat. Stunt hits a drive by attack to give Luchasaurus time to recover and drag Kassidy into Bronson's exploder suplex. Stunt tags himself in and runs into Kassidy's pump kick. Hardy's interference lets Private Party hit Stunt with Gin N Juice. Hardy demands a tag and finishes Stunt with the Twist of Fate at 8:34. This match had the right energy, but the commercial ate a lot of it, and too much of the match was blatantly built around that break, **¼.
Winners: Matt Hardy, Private Party, and Butcher and Blade
Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston talk to the camera. Moxley is mad that he can't relax, and it's all because of the annoying Good Brothers. Eddie jokes about how they act like some other acts he used to watch on TNT, but then gets serious and calls them cowards. Cowards die a thousand deaths, but soldiers like Moxley and Kingston live forever.
Dasha interviews Christian Cage backstage about his reasons for signing with AEW. Christian puts himself over as THE workhorse of professional wrestling and he makes his opponents level up. He puts AEW Champion Kenny Omega on notice, but knows he has to rack up some wins first, so he'll see him later. He's really here to outwork everyone.
Eddie Kingston gets jumped by the Good Brothers during his ring entrance. Jon Moxley runs over for a late save, despite having a bandaged shoulder. The Good Brothers overtake Moxley, throwing him shoulder-first into the barricade. Moxley eats a Magic Killer on the floor, and the Good Brothers haul Kingston into the ring for the official bell!
The Good Brothers (Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows) vs. Eddie Kingston and Jon Moxley
This is functionally a handicap match as Moxley is down and out on the floor, so the Good Brothers take their time picking Eddie apart. Moxley limps to the apron, only to get kicked back down by Gallows. They cut to commercial. Back from break, Eddie hits Gallows with a diving shoulder block. Eddie hits Anderson with an Exploder suplex and Moxley storms in on a hot tag. Moxley does a masterful sell job of his shoulder as he cleans house, hitting a dive in the process. Good Brothers cut Moxley off with a knee lift/power slam combo, but he kicks out. Eddie helps block a Magic Killer and clotheslines Gallows to ringside, leaving Moxley to finish Anderson with an inside cradle at 9:52! Moxley's performance totally made this match, ***.
Winners: Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston
AEW World Champion Kenny Omega struts out with a chair while the Good Brothers beat up Eddie and Mox. Omega sits himself down to watch the show, but gets kicked over. This earns a Magic Killer for Kingston and Omega loses his temper putting the boots to Moxley. They wrap Eddie's knee in a chair and Pillmanize him. They then wrap the chair around Moxley's throat, but the Young Bucks run in to talk some sense into them. Omega wants them all to show unity with Too Sweet, but the Bucks refuse and leave. Moxley stumbles up and swings the chair to clear the ring.
Tony Shiavone hosts STIIIIIIIING and TNT Champion Darby ALLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN on the stage. Don't yell at me, that's how Tony introduced them. Darby thinks it's a joke that he's only defended the TNT title 3 times thus far, and now with Team Taz behind him, he wants to be a defending champion. He wants to pay homage to Brodie Lee and defend against the Dark Order. He's interrupted by Lance Archer and Jake Roberts. Lance calls Darby "an indie-riffic joke" and dismisses him. Jake calls Darby a weenie in need of a hot dog bun, and then warns Sting not to cross Archer, because the's the baddest SOB in AEW. They leave without incident, but then Team Taz arrive to take their turns insulting Sting and Darby. Well, actually, Brian Cage respects Sting after their street fight, which infuriates the other Team Taz members.
Scorpio Sky video package, highlighting his frustration that he hasn't amounted to more in AEW.
Rey Fenix (with Pac) vs. Angelico
Fenix goes right for the arm, but Angelico counters with a wristlock. Fenix twists into an armdrag. Fenix headbutts the chest and throws some chops. Angelico misses a boot, but traps the arm and connects some shots to Fenix' bandaged back. I wish Fenix would just kill Angelico in 2 minutes but we're heading to commercial instead. Back from break, Fenix is making a comeback, hitting a cutter for 2. Angelico traps the legs for his death roll. They trade pinning predicaments and kicks. Crucifix Bomb by Fenix and sit out piledriver wins it at 7:51. Decent match, **½.
Winner: Rey Fenix
Miro's workout is interrupted for an interview. Kip Sabian arrives and complains about his ruined wedding. Miro says the worst thing for your career is to have your wife at ringside, and he doesn't care about Sabian's problems anymore. Miro wants to focus on his own destiny of becoming world champion. First, they have to get through the goofy arcade fight against the Best Friends.
The Dark Order are all dressed up for St. Patrick's Day. -1 would like to accept Darby Allin's challenge, but it's going to be John Silver, who is "hungie" for some gold.
The Pinnacle take over the Inner Circle's dressing room, which amounts to changing the sign on the door.
Lights Out Unsanctioned Falls Count Anywhere Match:
Dr. Britt Baker (with Rebel, not Reba) vs. Thunder Rosa
Rosa and Britt stand nose to nose and Rebel cracks a crutch over Rosa's back. Britt hits a sper and Air Raid Crash onto the ramp! Hikaru Shida watches from backstage as Britt hits some chair shots, but Rosa turns it around with wild swinging chair shots. Rosa misses a running cannonball and goes through a standing chair. Rebel helps set up a table, and Britt curb stomps Rosa's skull into the ring steps. Rosa blades and looks to be in trouble as they cut to commercial. Back from break, Britt hits a superplex onto a pile of chairs! Rebel slides in a ladder, but Rosa bulldogs Britt's face onto it. Meteora into the buckles by Rosa, who then shotgun dropkicks the ladder into Britt's head, busting her open. Rosa bites the open wound, but Britt hits a superkick and Flatliner onto the propped ladder. Rosa answers with a super DVD onto the ladder! Britt desperately DDT's Rosa onto a chair and then hits a curb stomp, but Rosa kicks out! Britt puts on her glove and then pours thumbtacks all over the place. Rosa blocks a DDT and removes Rebel with a dropkick through the table! Rosa powerbombs Britt onto the thumbtacks but BRITT KICKS OUT! Britt goes for Lockjaw in the tacks, but Rosa rolls out. Rosa hits a piledriver off the apron and through a table and wins at 16:42! Brutal match that absolutely overdelivered. I didn't know Britt had this kind of performance in her, ****.
Winner: Thunder Rosa
Final Thoughts: There's more nitpicking worthy elements slipping into this show, as I could not possibly care less about a slowburn QT Marshall heel turn, and some matches went through commercial breaks that probably should have been trimmed down. The good news is that MJF totally nailed his introduction of The Pinnacle, the Moxley/Omega/Kingston situation is somehow still heating up, and Britt and Rosa tore the house (and each other) down in the main event. Good show, even if there are some cracks in the foundation.
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