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AEW Dynamite- Beach Break
by Samoa Rowe
February 3, 2021
From Daily's Place, in the lawless dystopia known as Florida. Jim Ross, Tony Shiavone, and Excalibur are calling the action.
Tag Team Championship #1 Contenders Battle Royal:
Featuring The Young Bucks, Jurassic Express, Private Party, The Inner Circle, The Acclaimed, Top Flight, Santana and Ortiz, and The Dark Order
AEW has banned FTR from the match following a vicious attack on Luchasaurus. I'm confused why Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager and LAX are involved, since Jericho and MJF were supposed to be the Inner Circle's official Tag Team after winning the stable's 3-way exhibition. The Young Bucks are the Tag Team Champions, but are in this match in order to win the right to name their challengers at Revolution. Bucks enter last and dive off the stage onto the crowds on the floor. Private Party quickly eliminate Dante Martin. Hager pulls Alex Reynolds' hair to dump him. Stu Grayson can't hit a Sunset Flip bomb, but John Silver helps to knock Hager off the apron. Matt Jackson gets back dropped onto the stage, and it's unclear if that counts as an elimination until Shiavone clears it up. Luchasaurus runs wild, chokeslamming Nick Jackson onto Darius Martin. Luchasaurus chokeslams Grayson onto Anthony Bowens at ringside, and Silver sneaks up to dump the dinosaur. MJF throws Evil Uno. Darius blocks Private Party's Silly String, eliminating Marq Quen in the process. Silver suplexes both Santana and Ortiz, but they make him pay by throwing him to the floor. Chris Jericho celebrates with LAX and they are caught by Nick's crossbody. Nick dumps both LAX members, but walks into Isiah Kassidy's spin kick. The Good Brothers show up to distract Nick, but pull the ropes to eliminate Kassidy. Nick argues and MJF tosses him. We're down to Inner Circle members Jericho, MJF, Guevara and the oddball combo of Jungle Boy, Max Caster, and Darius Martin. I blink and miss Jungle Boy's elimination. Caster tries to help Sammy turn on MJF, but the thrust kick misses and Caster is gone. Jericho and Sammy work together but Darius DDT's them both. Jericho finishes Darius with a Judas Effect and wins at 11:36. AEW has set a high bar for battle royals, but this was a more standard affair. I continue to appreciate the way Dynamite manages to weave multiple story threads in these big multi-man matches, as Bucks/Good Brothers, Inner Circle turmoil, and Private Party's Mattitude problems were all advanced. I suppose I was a little disappointed that Jurassic Express and Dark Order's Silver and Reynolds didn't factor in more, **¾.:
Winners: Chris Jericho and MJF
Sammy is disgusted and doesn't stick around for the post-match celebration.
A Very Special Look at Jade Cargill video package. She appears to be in ridiculously good shape and hits the gym to dubstep music. I hope her ring work is better than her mic work.
Tony Schiavone, and his very nice hair, hosts TNT Champion Darby Allin and STIIIIIIIING in the ring. They're quickly interrupted by Team Taz from the parking lot. Taz is mad that they've been kicked out of Daily's Place for beating up some staff last week. They'll be allowed back in the building next week to watch Allin's TNT title defense up close and personal. Ricky Starks doesn't think Sting is the same icon anymore and plans on hurting him. Sting promises to be in Allin's corner next week, making sure he gets a clean singles match. Sting dares Starks to take a closer look in his eyes. This was fine, I'm somewhat anxious to see what they have in store for us in the street fight at Revolution.
Dr. Britt Baker (with Rebel not Reba) vs. Thunder Rosa
Rosa sprints in so quickly, she practically teleports, and viciously removes Rebel from the ring and hits a dropkick on Baker. Rosa is enjoying herself too much and Britt goes for a hammerlock. Rosa escapes and nails a running dropkick and then a cannonball. Rosa misses a head of steam, and Britt wraps her foot in the ropes for an easy kick to the head. Britt wrenches Rosa's head against the ring post. Rosa survives a ringside assault and throws Britt into the rails as they head to commercial. Back from break, Rosa hits a neckbreaker on the stage. Slingshot knees to the chest by Rosa and a running dropkick into the buckles. Britt comes back with Sling Blade and a thrust kick to the head for 2. They trade counters until Baker nails an Air Raid Crash! Rebel passes a glove to Britt for Lockjaw, but Rosa gets the ropes. Britt hits a Curb Stomp and rolls into Lockjaw, but but Rosa rolls into a (botched) nearfall, back suplex and DVD but Britt kicks out! Rosa applies an armbar, but kicks out Rebel for tampering with the buckle padding. Baker sends Rosa into the exposed steel with an STO and puts an unconscious Rosa into Lockjaw for the submission at 13:19! Very good back and forth action in this one, but they didn't quite stick the landing due to some sloppiness and shenanigans, **¾.:
Winner: Dr. Britt Baker
Last week, Tony Schiavone looked for answers from Hangman Adam Page and Matt Hardy in Matt's private dressing room. Hardy tries to play up their friendship, and Page pushes back, insisting he's not looking for a team and is only getting dressed. Matt talks him into a one time only team-up against Chaos Project.
Hangman Adam Page and Matt Hardy vs. Chaos Project (Luther and Serpentico)
Hardy smashes Serpentico into the corner. Page helps with a standing SSP and suplex on Serpentico for 2. Hardy returns with a second rope elbow smash and Side Effect. Luther tagged himself in and drops Hardy with a clothesline. Luther whips Serpentico into Hardy and sandwiches them both in the buckles (despite Serpentico's comical pleading for mercy). Serpentico misses a Swanton Bomb and Page gets something of a hot tag. Buckshot Lariat is good, but Matt tags himself in to steal the pinfall at 4:00. Total squash, but Page isn't too thrilled.:
Winners: Page and Hardy
Coming soon, the Women's World Championship Eliminator Tournament, featuring the return of Riho and Emi Sakura, and debuts from several other Japanese stars.
Alex Marvez tries to get a word in with the Inner Circle, but Jericho and MJF are too busy celebrating with a bucket of ice. The other Inner Circle guys aren't impressed, and Sammy Guevara demands to know why they always have to be collateral damage, and storms away. Jericho pursues Sammy, leaving MJF to have a private conversation with the others, and Wardlow kicks out the camera man.
Tony Shiavone interviews Groom Kip Sabian, Best Man Miro, and Butler Charles Taylor backstage. Miro mocks Taylor for never having had a girlfriend in his life, let alone get married. Vickie Guerrero informs them that it's time, which leads us to...
... the official Wedding of Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford! Vickie, Sabian, Miro, and Taylor enter the ring, and if I'm not mistaken, Jim Mitchell is here to lead the ceremony. Jerry Lynn walks Penelope Ford down the aisle. Jim Ross hopes this will be a quick ceremony (don't we all, Jim). Kip shares his cheesy personal vows and cuts Ford off from presumably gushing about his big something or another. The joke doesn't really land, the crowd sounds bored. Mitchell conducts an amusingly sleazy ceremony, which gets a chuckle or two from me. Miro stops Mitchell from asking for objections and demands he move on. They are pronounced man and wife and make out. It's time for Miro's toast, and he demands Taylor pass out champagne. Miro puts himself over as Sabian's real gift, and then destroys the suspiciously large wrapped present on the stage, but it's empty. Miro is then interrupted by the fans singing Haddaway's “What is Love?” Miro laughs it off, but then realizes he's handcuffed to the ropes! Ford gets pushed into the cake, and hops on Taylor's back while Sabian kicks him down. Orange Cassidy then appears from the cake table and back drops Sabian while Miro helplessly watches. I'm not going to lie, this entire segment was complete death, save for Mitchell enjoying himself. Everyone else involved looks diminished.
On a recent Inside the NBA, Shaquille O'Neal called Cody Rhodes a “cupcake” and agrees to wrestle him. He shows off his moves on Kenny Smith's plexiglass shield.
Eddie Kingston vs. Lance Archer (with Jake Roberts)
This is a quick rematch, likely due to last week's match not being seen by most streaming audience members. Archer quickly gets dumped, but beats up several lumberjacks, before Butcher and Blade smash him into the ring post. Archer recovers and throws Eddie, who also fights the lumberjacks. Archer launches over the ropes onto Eddie and the crowd. Cue the commercial! Back from break, Eddie is controlling the pace. Archer comes back with a full nelson slam. The Bunny interferes and almost suffers Archer's Blackout, but Eddie saves with a spinning back hand. Jake clocks Angelico, but Butcher's cheap shot lets Eddie hit a power slam for 2. Eddie argues with Billy Gunn, while Archer sets up a table, but Bear Country run in to plow Butcher through the table. Archer finishes with Blackout at 9:00. Good action from Archer and Eddie, but this was pretty messy due to some bizarre lumberjacks getting showcased, **.:
Winner: Lance Archer
FTR are upset that they got banned from the battle royal and blame Jurassic Express. Dax says they aren't bad men, but sometimes they have to do what bad men do, and reveals they have taken Marko Stunt captive.
Joey Janela gets a shot at Darby Allin next week, and he talks about their long history together. Janela declares that he's back and the TNT title is going to the bad boy.
AEW World Champion Kenny Omega (with Don Callis) and Impact Tag Team Champions The Good Brothers (Doc Gallows and Karl Anderson) vs. Jon Moxley, Pac, and Rey Fenix
Pac and Anderson trade forearms and trade leap frogs until Pac hits a rana. Gallows and Moxley tag in for an intense brawl. Moxley avoids getting isolated, and quick tags lead to Fenix and Pac splashing Anderson. Gallows' cheapshot lets Anderson trap Pac in “Bullet Club” territory. Pac counters with a snap German on Omega. Moxley returns and tears into Anderson. Moxley clears the ring for a dive onto the Good Brothers. Moxley reverses Omega with a throw into the rails, and we head to commercial. Back from break, Moxley is getting worked over. Moxley blocks the Magic Killer and stumbles into a hot tag to Fenix, who goes supernova, hitting a surreal springboard shoulder block. Pac helps with a missile dropkick on Omega. Fenix and Pac hit stereo moonsaults to ringside. Fenix moonsaults into a cutter on Omega for 2! Omega trips Fenix on the ropes for a snap dragon off the ropes! Gallows drops Fenix with a big boot for 2. Pac tags himself in to cut Gallows down with rapid attacks to the leg. Gallows superkicks Pac, and faux Bullet Club hit a triple team neckbreaker. Omega hits a Liger Bomb but Pac kicks out! V-Trigger is good, but Pac blocks One Winged Angel. Moxley and Fenix help to swarm Omega, who still kicks out of a German suplex! Moxley tags and slugs it out with Omega. Match breaks down with everyone hitting their spots. Fenix nearly lands in the front row with a dive. Omega steals the Paradigm Shift, but Pac breaks a cover with a 450 splash! Moxley hits Anderson with a cutter, and Fenix nearly pins him with a moonsault. Anderson spinebusters Fenix, and follows with the Magic Killer and the win at 15:23! Good formula tag in the first half, pure insanity in the second half, ****.:
Winners: Kenny Omega and The Good Brothers
The Bullet Club look for a post-match beatdown, but Lance Archer runs in to clear the ring. Moxley seems to have an opportunity to hurt Omega, but he gets ambushed by a masked man, and it's KENTA! NO F'N WAY! KENTA puts Moxley down with a Go 2 Sleep! Omega is practically aroused by this development and stands on the fallen Moxley.
Final Thoughts: I have literally forgotten about everything that happened in the first hour and 59 minutes of this show, because I am marking out like a kid on Christmas that KENTA showed up in Bullet Club gear to attack Moxley. AEW and New Japan can have all my money.
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