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WWF TNT- April 23, 1986
by Scrooge McSuck
- Hosted by Vince McMahon, with co-host Lord Alfred Hayes. This week, Vince will be joined by a list of guests that includes "Leaping" Lanny Poffo, The Haiti Kid, Hercules Hernandez, The Iron Sheik, Randy Savage and Elizabeth. We must be reaching the end of Vince's time hosting this show, with only 18 episodes (not including this one) left in the archives.
Guest #1: "Leaping" Lanny Poffo
"Poetry time with Leaping Lanny Poffo" is the teaser for the episode on the WWE Network, so I'm going to guess he's reading a poem for our amusement. Vince actually calls Lanny a "rowdy individual" and a "unique talent" before bringing him onto the stage. ROWDY? Poffo has a handful of frisbees for the hostages in the crowd. Man, that should be a shirt. "I was held hostage at a TNT taping and all I got was ta Lanny Poffo frisbee."
Lanny Poffo vs. Rick Jacobs
Recycled from the January 19th episode of All-American Wrestling, taped on DECEMBER 17th! JESUS, couldn't find anything more recent where Poffo goes over? Joined in Progress with Poffo jockeying for position on the canvas. Poffo with a pair of brutal knees to the face before hooking a leg-lock. Takedown into a front face-lock. Poffo feels like a shooter out there, out-classing Jacobs. Poffo no-sells a few strikes and puts the boots to Jacobs in the corner. Poffo with stomps across the back of the head, followed by a rolling senton. I just noticed Jacobs' tights have "The Bomb" on the back of them. Jacobs with forearms in the corner. Poffo blocks a hip toss and kicks him on the throat. Snap mare out of the corner, Poffo plants Jacobs with a forward power slam and finishes with the moonsault at 2:23 (shown). Poffo GOBBLED HIM UP.
Back in the studio, Poffo has a poem for us. Poffo stumbles a little over a line, but in it, he name drops various WWF Superstars, including Adrian Adonis (saying he was acting queer... which means unusual, by the way), Jake Roberts, and George Steele, among others. Lord Alfred has his own poem, dedicated to Lanny Poffo, almost a love letter to him for his looks and wrestling ability. Vince McMahon, with NO EXCITEMENT IN HIS VOICE, says that was exciting, just like his work in the ring (hey, Alfred was a damn good worker for early 60's British wrestling).
Guest(s) #2: "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Elizabeth
If only they would ONCE mention the relationship between Randy Savage and Lanny Poffo. JUST ONCE. Excluding managers, Savage might be in the running, along with Volkoff and Sheik, for the most frequent appearances on this show. Savage isn't happy that Elizabeth was introduced without him, as Elizabeth was scheduled to appear alone, and he was to come out for the next segment.
"Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/ Elizabeth) vs. Bob Marcus:
Recycled from the March 15th episode of All-Star Wrestling, taped on March 3rd from Brantford, Ontario. Joined in Progress, with Savage taking Marcus over with an arm drag. Savage plays to the crowd and gets rolled up but can barely hold Savage down for a one-count. Lockup and Marcus with a snap arm drag. Whip to the ropes and Savage clobbers Marcus with an elbow. He hangs Marcus across the top rope and comes off the top rope with the double axe-handle. Whip and Savage hits the hook clothesline. Snap mare and Savage with a jumping knee drop. He goes to the top rope and finishes with the flying elbow at 2:12 (shown).
Back in the studio, Savage is still pacing around the stage. Vince asks if Elizabeth can stand up and spin around. Savage says if he tells her to, but he won't let her. McMahon compliments Elizabeth's dress, paid for by the Macho Man, of course. Savage warns Alfred about being a smart mouth and offers to tighten his tie. Savage denies any allegations of jealousy between them. We come back from commercial, and Savage and Elizabeth are still in the hot seat(s). Savage yells at McMahon that any questions for Elizabeth goes through him first. McMahon asks if she likes to dance and asks them to give us a little sample of their dance moves. For reasons unknown, we get a FIVE MINUTE RECAP of the Savage/Animal feud that I'm sure we saw the week leading into WrestleMania 2. Savage takes a seat on McMahon's desk and promises everyone that he holds them responsible for what he does in the ring to anyone that messes with his property, especially The Animal.
Guest #3: The Haiti Kid
We're halfway through the runtime with three guests left, so I don't expect anyone getting significant time for the rest of the night. McMahon cuts right to the point, bringing up the last time the Haiti Kid was on an interview show. Haiti Kid calls it the most embarrassing moment of his life. We get highlights of Piper and Orton's assault on him, cutting his hair to resemble Mr. T because… well, you draw your own conclusion. That segues to Haiti Kid showing off his martial arts skills, as they're inserting him into Six-Man Tag Team Matches that feature Jimmy Hart. He credits Ricky Steamboat with teaching him the ways of martial arts. Vince McMahon looks forward to seeing these matches take place and wraps up the segment, selling the mock karate as something lethal.
Guest(s) #4: Hercules Hernandez and Fred Blassie:
Poor Hercules, lost his unbeaten record at WrestleMania 2. McMahon compliments Hercules on the size of his arms. He says you got to show the world what you got when you got it. Blassie heckles one of the catcallers, saying his only muscle is in his nose.
George Wells vs. Hercules Hernandez (w/ Fred Blassie):
Joined in Progress from the March 16th card held at Madison Square Garden. Hercules is working the arm of Wells. Gorilla Monsoon says Wells looks like he's putting on weight. Wells escapes a top wrist-lock and knocks Hercules into the corner with a spinning kick. Hercules comes back with a boot and an uppercut. He drives a series of knees into the back, and damn is that top rope extra loose here. Wells' tights have "Master G" on the side. Wells fires back with rights and lefts, knocking Hercules out of the ring. Wells gives chase and takes Hercules over with a hip toss. Wells with a snap mare into a cover for two. Hercules cuts him off with an inverted atomic drop. Ventura gives us some insight into the Canadian Football League as Hercules pounds away. Hercules with a big slam. He makes a slow climb to the top rope and gets caught in mid-air. Wells counters with a back breaker but misses a big dive into the corner and Hercules covers for three at 3:36 (shown). I guess Koko stole that spot from Wells, because that was a staple of his jobbing days. Not as bad as you would expect, and the full match is only about 30-seconds longer.
Back in the studio, Blassie compares Hercules to "The original" Hercules, and insists on reading a poem. McMahon cuts him off repeatedly. Blassie threatens Alfred with his cane before finally reading the poem about Lanny Poffo being a no-good pencil-neck geek.
Guest #5: The Iron Sheik
We're running out of time, but I'm always happy to see the Iron Sheik on here. Finish strong is what I say. Vince asks what "camel breath smells like." Sheik seems insulted by the question and ignores him. We throw it to an old sketch of TNT where they recreated an Iranian setting with Sheik's own harem (consisting of two women). I don't know the point of that except to fill time. We come back to the studio with Vince amongst the audience for some questions. "Henry" asks if Iran is #1, why does he spend so much time in the USA. Sheik says he travels all over the world for competition. "Curt" asks if the Ayatollah wants him to become Champion again. "Chuck" asks why the Sheik is "ducking the big names in wrestling these days." Sheik cuts an incoherent promo on the fan in response. Sheik removes his robe and starts flexing, so if you're playing the Sheik drinking game, that's three shots. Not the finest appearance for the Sheik.
Next Week: Nothing promoted.
Final Thoughts: Harmless episode here. Nothing was really bad (well, Haiti Kid wasn't good, but it was short), and we got some lively appearances from most of the Superstars in the studio. You know the deal with TNT. Unless something is extraordinary or bottom of the barrel trash, the only recommendation I can give is "if you like the studio format, give it a look." This episode falls into that category with neither anything must-see for being great or so bad it has to be seen to believe.
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