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WWF TNT- February 7, 1986

by Scrooge McSuck

- Hosted by Vince McMahon, with co-host Lord Alfred Hayes. Yeah, I finally bit the bullet and switched to the commonly used "TNT" name, since "Tuesday" night was technically Prime Time Wrestling at this point, thus making the original name inaccurate. This week, Vince's guests will be Danny Spivey, Brutus Beefcake, Greg Valentine, Johnny Valiant, Mr. Fuji, The Magnificent Muraco, The British Bulldogs, and Capt. Lou Albano.

Guest(s) #1: The Magnificent Muraco and Mr. Fuji

This should be very interesting. McMahon struggles to remember how many times they've held the Intercontinental and Tag Team Championships respectively in their careers. Muraco scoffs at the audience for chanting "Beach Bum", claiming they all wish they could own property in Hawaii. Fuji has the cheesiest, creepiest smirk on his face that McMahon must call attention to.

The Magnificent Muraco & Mr. Fuji vs. Jose Luis Rivera & Greg Eberhart:

Recycled from the December 21st episode of All-Star Wrestling. Fuji throws the ceremonial salt and starts the match. Lockup into the ropes and Fuji lays in with elbows. Muraco tosses Rivera out of the ring, where Fuji greets him with a slam on the concrete floor. Muraco brings Rivera back in with a slam of his own. Rivera makes a comeback against Fuji and tags in Eberhart, who is quickly laid out with a big chop. Fuji with a double chop and headbutt to the lower abdomen. Muraco comes back in and appears to be doing as little as possible physically. He slams Eberhart and Fuji comes off the ropes with a twisting senton for three at 2:58. I didn't think I'd say it, but Fuji outworked Muraco here.

- Back in the studio, McMahon goes to the WWF Magazine and asks Muraco to compare the beaches of Puerto Rico to Hawaii. Muraco scoffs at the idea. Puerto Rico is great for getting mugged or sliced up (um...). We come back from commercial, with Muraco still in the studio. McMahon asks about S.D. Jones and the beaches of Antigua. Muraco says everyone is entitled to believing like they want, like people who enjoy living in New Jersey. McMahon asks if the folks of Hawaii are embarrassed by his attempts at acting in such masterpieces as Fuji Chan, Fuji Bandito and Fuji General. Muraco tells McMahon what he knows about acting and talent would fill Andre the Giant's brain. McMahon throws it to footage of Muraco's acting chops, and to make a long story short (too late), Muraco has no concept of emoting and constantly reads from a prompt screen without any pause when deemed necessary, and it's GLORIOUS. The studio audience, however, is not impressed. McMahon calls it the worst acting ever. Muraco compares himself to Robert Redford, but he's received zero (legitimate) offers from Hollywood. Muraco denies that, but his wrestling schedule is too demanding and doesn't line up with the offers presented to him.

Guest #2: Danny Spivey

McMahon makes sure to note Spivey hasn't been in the WWF for long but has a bright future ahead of him. Does he? McMahon is brimming with glee at Spivey's size (an alleged 6'7" and 280 pounds). Spivey's goal for 1986 is to "polish his style" and mumbles his lines, talking about going for the Tag Team belts among other things.

- Highlights of Danny Spivey vs. Terry Gibbs from Madison Square Garden. The only thing notable of the match is Spivey's furry boots. The full match made it to the Coliseum Video "Best of the WWF Vol. 8" which acted as a sneak peek at newcomers in the Federation.

- Back in the studio, Spivey looks like a serial killer. Lord Alfred talks about how punishing a running bulldog is, especially from a man of Spivey's stature.

Guest(s) #3: The British Bulldogs and Capt. Lou Albano Nothing can be much worse than the nothing that came out of the Spivey segment. McMahon jokes the Bulldogs don't follow Albano's "training regimen" (they aren't fat). Albano says he has a 52-inch waist and sticks his cigar into his belly button. "How wasted is Lou Albano" for $500, Alex. Albano says the Bulldogs are the finest team in wrestling today.

- Highlights of the Bulldogs in action vs. Barry O and Moondog Spot from the Boston Garden. There's no point in recapping 90-seconds of a 10-minute match, but I'm sure it was solid for an underneath tag match with all parties involved.

- Back in the studio, Dynamite Kid says they've been training hard to challenge for the Tag Team Titles currently held by Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake, and they proved capable of doing so, beating them last week in Poughkeepsie.

Guest(s) #4: Greg Valentine, Brutus Beefcake, and Johnny Valiant

The teaser graphic reads "The Dream Team", the first time in all of 1986 that those two words were strung together, but McMahon doesn't introduce them as such. Valentine comes out in one of his robes, but is wearing normal street attire underneath, while Beefcake looks like a hot mess combining a spandex top and wrist bands with blue jeans. Must be a San Francisco fad. McMahon says the Bulldogs are owed a title opportunity soon. Valentine hushes down a heckler and says the Bulldogs are being hyped up by Albano. He says people managed by Albano can't think or speak for themselves. He knows all about Albano and was smart enough to get away from him when he hooked up with Cyndi Lauper. He says it's impossible for the Bulldogs to take the belts from them. Beefcake toys around with the LJN figures since he's the 3rd best promo of this group (yes, worse than Valiant's nonsensical rambling). Valentine says they'll keep the belts long enough to make people sick of seeing them on top.

- Highlights of the Non-Title Match between Valentine and Beefcake and The British Bulldogs from the February 1st episode of Championship Wrestling.

- Back in the studio, Valiant shouts down the audience and reminds them it was Non-Title, so it doesn't count. It's like kissing your sister or aunt. He says they had to travel from San Francisco and were delayed on the way to the arena. Valentine says it's harder staying a Champion than being a contender. They say it was illegal for a man to jump off his back like they did, and probably paid off the referee to allow it. When they put the belts on the line, the Bulldogs will pay for trying to embarrass them. We return from commercial, with Valiant still fired up about the Bulldogs. He promises to put the titles on the line against the Bulldogs, any place, anywhere, any time. Then he stomps on his own hat because he's certifiable. This draws Lou Albano onto the stage and my God, I can't imagine a match being worse than one between Valiant and Albano in 1986.

- Next Week: Nothing announced. Good to not know.

Final Thoughts: Decent show, except for Spivey's appearance. Muraco didn't push any current angle against another Superstar, but we did get to see some of the hilarious highlights of his acting adventures, and he definitely showed the charisma he was capable of in cutting promos. The Bulldogs and Valentine and Beefcake all appearing as guests continues to push their inevitable Championship match as a big deal, and I can only think of one place for that to happen.

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