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WWE Survivor Series 2005

by Scrooge McSuck

- Thanksgivin' Thumpin' returns with yet another flashback into the Survivor Series archives. As of this writing (November 2014), this marks the only Survivor Series yet to be covered here at DWS... I don't know if it's a bad show or not, simply because I had stopped buying PPV's at this point, and don't recall ever sitting through the entire show.

- Originally presented on Pay-Per-View on November 27th, 2005, from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI. Joey Styles, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and Jonathon Coachman are calling it for Raw (remember when WWE turfed J.R. and mocked him for an operation involving his anal cavity? Yeah, it was around this time).

WWE United States Championship Match:
Chris Benoit vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell):

This is Match #1 in their needlessly booked "Best of 7 Series", all because one match ended in a lame Double Pin. Booker turned heel not too long ago because his wife was a bitch, or something else lame like that. Benoit immediately tries for a punk-out, but we end up with a (surprisingly) clean break. Feeling out process ends with Booker taking Benoit over with a short-Powerslam. Benoit with knees and forearms, sending Booker to the floor. Booker tries to wrestle Benoit to the canvas, only to have the tables turned. Test of strength leads to Booker leveling Benoit with a side heel kick. Benoit blocks a suplex attempts and snaps Booker over with a version of his own. Whip to the ropes and a charging forearm gets two. Booker gets a boot up on a charge attempt and plants Benoit with a side slam for two. Booker grabs an armbar, but Benoit quickly fights back to his feet. Booker cuts off the comeback, and slaps on an abdominal stretch. To Mike Rotunda's disappointment, he doesn't use the ropes for added leverage. Benoit powers out with a hip toss, but catches a boot setting up for a back drop. Booker with a jumping heel kick for two. Hard whip to the corner. Booker with a float-over roll-up for two. Rude Awakening neck breaker gets two. Benoit counters another suplex, this time with a German Suplex. He bounces off the ropes and runs into another jumping heel kick. Benoit catches a boot, snaps Booker over with a Dragon Whip, and goes for the Sharpshooter, but Booker cradles him for two. Benoit with vicious chops and a pair of charging forearms for two. Snap suplex gets two. Benoit with the rolling Germans. He heads to the top rope, but gets distracted by Sharmell. Booker climbs up with him, only to get knocked back down with a flurry of headbutts. Benoit comes off for the Swandive Headbutt, but meets nothing but canvas. Booker with a cradle (and foot on the ropes) for three at 14:38. ***1/4 Crap finish, but a solid effort. A little slow for some tastes, as they seemed to be building to a hotter finish, but that doesn't distract from the effort put forth.

- Nonsense backstage segment featuring Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff. John Cena sneaks in, makes a gay joke, and kisses up to Vince... who then says "keep it up, my nigga'", then struts past Booker T. "Tell me he didn't just say that." What the flying FUCK?

WWE Women's Championship:
Trish Stratus © (w/ Mickie James) vs. Melina (w/ Mercury & Nitro):

10 years later, only one of these five is still used on WWE TV. Guess which one. This is an inter-promotional match, so we have Joey Styles and Tazz calling the action. Whatever happened to Melina? I guess to set this match up, Melina had her men kidnap Trish and politely ask for a title shot... OK? Mickie James was fairly new to the roster at this point, playing an over-zealous fan of Trish. Trish bum rushes the ring and sends Melina running after a Thesz Press. Trish to the top for a flying body press onto MNM! Back in the ring, Trish with a twirling head scissors. Whip is reversed, and I think they blew something, as Melina completely no-sells a kick to the face to continue her offense. They take turns doing the Kevin Nash foot choke. Melina takes it to the floor, having a cat-fight with Mickie. Meanwhile, MNM tries t give Trish their finishing move (the Snap Shot?), only to be ejected from ringside, instead of the more logical automatic Disqualification. Melina with a spear and some shitty forearms. Melina with a modified surfboard... has anyone ever tapped to that? Seems like a good submission hold. Trish offers a comeback, only to get slammed face-first into the canvas for two. Trish does her Matrix spot, only to get a axehandle across the midsection. Trish takes Melina off the top rope with a head scissors, then plants her with a spinebuster for a two count. Chick Kick misses. Melina counters the Stratusfaction, but some helpful interference from Mickie James allows Trish to finish Melina off with a top rope bulldog at 6:31. *1/2 I've seen worse. The crowd was into them, making it more tolerable, but you can tell how much ring-time Melina had since her call up to the Main Roster, compared to Trish, who was the focal point of the Division for nearly 4 years.

Last Man Standing Match:
Ric Flair vs. Triple H:

Flair is the reigning Intercontinental Champion (as a young-up-and-comer, he needed the cred), but Triple H is above the Championship, so this is Non-Title. Hunter looks a bit bloated AND he's rocking the stupid Lemmy mustache/beard. 0 for 2. Hunter attacks Flair during his entrance and pounds away. Flair graciously sells like he's had a 30-minute war with Harley Race. Hunter grabs a chair, but off-camera, Flair finds a kendo stick and whacks away. They briefly brawl in the crowd before returning to ringside. Hunter takes Flair over with a back drop, followed by a suplex. I hate Last Man Standing Matches for one reason, and it comes into play early: excessive breaks to build tension with counts. There's no need to start doing count-out spots 2-minutes in, except to drag the match out by having to do less physical work. HHH pulls out a TOOL BOX and jams a Screwdriver into the already bladed face of Flair. That's a pretty vicious blade job for a 90 year old. Flair teases a comeback, only to be thrown back to the arena floor. HHH takes his sweet time taking apart the Spanish announcers table, buying Flair time to recover and send him into the steps. Flair charges and takes a spinebuster on the floor. Not quite Arn Anderson levels of awesome, but close. Hunter with trash talking, so Flair does the only reasonable thing in response: grab his nuts. Triple H goes for a Pedigree on the Raw Announcers Table, only to get back-dropped through the Spanish Table. Don't fret, he makes it back to his feet at 9.

Back in the ring, Flair unloads with chops. Whip to the ropes, and Hunter comes back with his signature face-buster. Flair actually gets up first, but Hunter lays him out again and pounds away. Hunter goes for a Pedigree on a chair, but Flair counters by going low. Flair with a chair shot to the head, but it's not enough to keep Hunter down. Flair with biting and chops. He sweeps the legs and wraps both of them around the post. Flair clips the knee and bites some more. Flair clips the knee a second time, but Hunter kicks off the Figure-Four attempt. Flair wraps the leg around the post again, then blasts it with a chair! Flair applies the Figure-Four, deliberately close to the ropes, and uses them for leverage. I already used the Rotunda joke, sorry. It's not enough to keep HHH down, so we must continue. Hunter bashes Flair in the face with the ring steps. He tries it a second time, but Flair counters with a drop toe hold. Flair with chops until Hunter comes from out of nowhere with a Pedigree! Flair uses the steps to pull himself up so Hunter plants him with a second Pedigree. Flair manages to make it to his feet again, this time while giving Hunter the finger. Hunter pounds away on him and connects with a third Pedigree. Flair's up AGAIN. Hunter whacks him over the back of the head with a Sledgehammer, and it's finally over at (an overly long) 26:57. ***1/2 That was a bit long, but as mentioned before, the context of a Last Man Standing Match means extending things by 8-10 minutes with excessive counting spots. Wild brawl with some great spots. I could've done with less ball shots from Flair, but this was a great, old-school effort. Biggest surprise of the match: Triple H didn't blade.

- Team Smackdown! bonds backstage for their war against Team Raw by trashing one of their teammates, the World Heavyweight Champion, Batista. The mannequin standing in the background is Bobby Lashley.

- The Original Mr. Money In the Bank, Edge, makes an appearance. I'm not sure if he's injured or not, but it seems weird to keep him off the card. He hypes his new "talk show" segment, "The Cutting Edge"... ugh, can someone come up with a list of all the stupid talking segments hosted by wrestlers?

WWE Championship Match:
John Cena © vs. Kurt Angle:

Daivari, Kurt Angle's personal henchman (ever since Muhammad Hassan was cut for WWE's own stupid storyline), is the SPECIAL Referee of the Match. Was there some kind of dumb angle where the "You Suck" chants were bleeped? Angle quickly picks the leg and goes to work with grapevines and toe holds. Cena fights free and takes Angle over with an arm drag. Even in 2005, WWE fans were doing duel chants for Cena and Angle, meaning todays mutants are as bad as they were back then, too. Angle rolls to the floor, while Daivari prevents Cena from following up. Back in the ring, Cena unloads with a flurry of offense, including his crummy "Fisherman" Suplex, but Daivari won't count. Angle picks the leg again and applies the Ankle Lock, but Cena RISES ABOVE INJUSTICE! Spinebuster connects on Angle, and it's bitch-slap time for Daivari. Angle stops him from calling the DQ for obvious reasons. Cena gets a taste of the ring steps and Angle throws him over with a release belly-to-belly suplex. Back in the ring, a standard referee runs in to count two. Cena escapes a waistlock and comes off the ropes with a body press for two. Angle with another overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Loud "Cena Sucks" chant, because hating Cena is "cool." Angle with a high-angle back suplex for two. Angle hooks a chinlock, and I just wondered... what happened to Daivari? He get KO'ed by a simple ref' bump? Cena fights back with his Five Moves of Doom (shoulder tackle, clotheslines, back suplex, five-knuckle shuffle...), but Angle clotheslines the referee before the F-U can happen. Angle goes low and signals for another referee. Angle Slam connects, but it only gets two. Angle with a big suplex from the top rope for another two count. Angle to the top again, missing a moonsault. Angle fights out of the F-U and KO's another referee. Daivari is still playing dead. Cena plants Daivari with a DDT while Smackdown referee Charles Robinson comes in. Cena with the F-U for three at 13:57 because LOL Cena Wins™. **1/2 Over-booked nonsense with a rushed finish. The wrestling was fine when they were allowed to actually work outside the confines of the stipulation and over-booking.

- Commercial for the most depressing DVD ever, Jake "The Snake" Roberts: Pick Your Poison, with the lamest, most half-assed collection of "bonus features" imaginable.

Theodore Long (w/ Palmer Cannon) vs. Eric Bischoff:

Why?! Oh GOD, please be short. Speaking of people that just disappeared, remember Palmer Cannon, from "The Network"? His initials are "PC"? His WWE career basically covers the following: introducing the Mini's Division and quitting over (alleged) harassment from JBL. Bischoff flashes some of his Karate Kid moves while Teddy Long dances. Bischoff uses his black belt to choke Long while Palmer Cannon acts like a goof. Bischoff cheap shots him, too, and goes back to choking Long. The boring chants don't take long to make an appearance. Bischoff grabs a sleeper hold, but it looks more like a choke. Long uses his shoe "illegally" (despite being legal in all other aspects of the match). Bischoff with a "karate thrust" to the throat. The Boogeyman's music plays, and since he's from Smackdown, he's going to freak out Bischoff. Then plants him with a Pumphandle Slam. Long covers for three at 5:23. -** Horrible and a waste of PPV time.

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match:
Team Smackdown! (Batista, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Randy Orton, JBL) vs. Team Raw (Shawn Michaels, Kane, Big Show, Carlito, Chris Masters)

This all started at WWE Homecoming, the first episode of Raw on the USA Network since September 2000. It's been Raw vs. Smackdown since then, and this is the showdown to prove who has brand supremacy. Randy Orton is a substitute on team Smackdown!, filling the vacant spot originally meant for Eddie Guerrero (sad face). Batista is the World Heavyweight Champion, and Kane and Big Show are the World Tag Team Champions. JBL has Jillian Hall and her disgusting mole in his corner. Remember when THAT gem of a character was introduced?

Michaels and Orton start. Lockup into the corner, and Orton gives a clean break. Lockup #2, and this time Orton with a bitch slap. Michaels responds. Michaels with headlocks, but Orton keeps countering with head scissors. Orton meets boot on a charge. Orton with a slam, but misses a knee drop. Masters tags in and goes to work on the left arm. Orton rakes the eyes to escape and pounds away across the back. Masters battles back and connects with a shoulder tackle for two. Lashley tags in for the Roid vs. Roid clash. Lashley catches Masters off the ropes with a powerslam. Masters avoids a charge and lays him out with a clothesline. He goes for the Masterlock, but Lashley blocks and takes him down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Carlito gets the unwanted tag and thrown in by Lashley. He hits Carlito with clotheslines and takes him down with a running powerslam for two. Carlito gets an elbow up on a charge and tags out to Michaels. He heads to the top, only to get slammed. Lashley continues to dominate, until he finds himself close to the Raw team's corner. Kane grabs him from the apron and plants him with the Chokeslam! Michaels covers for three at 7:17.

Mysterio in for a quick exchange with Michaels. He dropkicks the legs from under Michaels, then makes the mistake of getting near Kane and takes a knee to the back. Masters with a Press Slam. Kane tags in for the first time and misses his stupid jumping elbow that always misses. Mysterio with a basement dropkick, sliding leg drop, and standing moonsault for two. Kane goes for his side slam, but Rey slips free, only to run face-first into a boot. Kane pounds away and connects with a back breaker for two. Kane with a bearhug to continue the destruction of Mysterio. He fights free with biting and tags out to Batista! Shoulders to the midsection, followed by a clothesline to the corner. Kane comes back with an uppercut to the bandaged ribs. He goes after the rest of team Smackdown, opening the door for a Batista spear! He cleans house of everyone! Mysterio with a 6-1-9 to Kane, and Batista with a Spinebuster for three at 11:43. BOO! Kane deserves better. Big Show with a Chokeslam to Batista for two! The chaos continues. Kane recovers from his defeat and joins the Big Show for a Double Chokeslam on Batista! Big Show covers, and it's good for three at 12:28!

JBL comes in and slugs it out with the Big Show. He gets caught coming off the second rope with a slam. Big Show shrugs off Mysterio and Orton's attempts at interfering, but falls victim to a Clothesline From Hell! Show gets up, so Mysterio tags in and hits another 6-1-9! Orton tags in and it's RKO TIME! Big Show's STILL getting up, so JBL tags in and connects with a second Clothesline From Hell! Mysterio with the West Coast Pop, and the Big Show is finally done at 14:27! I've got to confess, that was an awesome sequence.

It's 3-on-3, with everyone brawling. JBL and Michaels take it to the floor. JBL catches Michaels in mid-air and throws him over with a fall-away slam! Masters and Mysterio are the legal men in the ring. Carlito tags in with a vertical suplex for two. Leg drop gets two. Carlito grabs a chinlock as we're informed that Michaels is KO'ed on the arena floor. Mysterio fights back to his feet. JBL with the blind tag and a Clothesline From Hell finishes Carlito off at 17:36! JBL pounds away on Masters until getting taken over with a suplex. Mysterio with a body press and JBL with a big boot for two. Masters meets post on a charge, gets his leg knocked from under him, and Mysterio with the 6-1-9. He drops the dime, and it's good for three at 19:03, leaving an "injured" Michaels alone against Orton, JBL, and Mysterio.

JBL feeds Michaels back into the ring, and even next to HBK, Mysterio looks small. Michaels takes the 6-1-9, but recovers and hits Mysterio as he springboards off the ropes with Sweet Chin Music! That's good for three at 20:30. JBL runs in, misses the Clothesline From Hell, and Sweet Chin Music finishes JBL at 20:45! It's down to Orton and Michaels! Michaels counters the RKO, and Orton avoids Sweet Chin Music. Michaels follows Orton to the floor with a plancha! Back in the ring, Michaels comes off the ropes with his diving forearm, and it's nip-up time! He connects with an inverted atomic drop, followed by a pair of clotheslines and slam. Michaels to the top rope with his signature flying elbow drop. Michaels sets up for Sweet Chin Music, but gets distracted by JBL! Orton with the RKO on Michaels, and for the third year in a row, is the Sole Survivor, at 24:01. Team Smackdown's JTTS Squadron run out to celebrate, and this just brings out the Undertaker for a massive beatdown, because Undertaker vs. Orton continues through Armageddon! **** Lame end to the PPV aside, a great Elimination Match with all-around solid effort from everyone involved, minimal slowdown periods, some hot sequences and cute elimination spots. I've always been a fan of a major Champion doing a pinfall job in the middle of a match like this, even under double-team circumstances.

Final Thoughts: I'll be honest, I'm surprised at how much I enjoyed this Survivor Series, considering I remember so little from it, and was beginning to sour on the product as a whole. The Elimination Tag Match is tons of fun, the undercard has a great (and LONG) fight between Flair and Triple H, a solid WWE Title Match between Cena and Angle, and a pretty good opener with Benoit and Booker T in the senseless and pointless "Best of 7 Series." With only the Battle of the G.M.'s coming up on the negative side of things, I'd have to say the 2005 Survivor Series is well worth a look, and it's available in the WWE Network archives for only $9.99 a month, unless you get in on one of their countless free offers.

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