It's Thanksgivin' Thumpin', which means it's time for my annual random November episode of "WWF Superstars"! Or whatever else I feel like. This week we're in Fort Wayne, Indiana with our hosts Vince McMahon, "Macho Man" Randy Savage and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. We have some BREAKING NEWS, concerning the upcoming Survivor Series: Sid Justice severed a biceps tendon in a recent match against Jake "The Snake" Roberts. Sid is standing by with some comments. To make up for his inactivity, Sid pleads with Jack Tunney to reinstate the Macho Man. Back in the arena (bluescreen), Piper holds up a sign reiterating the resintatement plea. But with so much going on in the World Wrestling Federation, let's get down to ringside for...
Match 1: Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Eric Freedmom
Macho: "Ohhhhhh no! I don't trust you, Jake the Snake Roberts". Jake claims that his snakes have now been de-venomized. Quick match, as Jake tosses Freedom around, slams him, steps on his throat, tosses him out of the ring, then back in for the short-arm clothesline and DDT. Jake opens his bag and an un-named king cobra slithers around the ring. The cobra is 100 times more creepy than Damian or Lucifer ever were.
WWF Update with "Mean" Gene Okerlund
Brought to you by Coliseum Home Video, the exclusive distributors of the WBF Championship tape! It's not that nobody else wanted to market it-- it's exclusive! Gene mentions Sid's injury, then recaps a match between Bret "The Hitman" Hart and The Mountie, from last week. Hitman claims that he couldn't give a title match to a jailbird. Jimmy Hart dumps a bucket of water on him, then Mountie "zaps" him with his shock-stick (and plenty of sound effects). But hey, they'll be on opposing teams at the Survivor Series! Mountie and Hart cut a promo, giggling about "zapping the wet rat".
Match 2: Virgil vs. Steve Dupree
Virgil's still the "reigning" Million Dollar Champion. Piper goes into a tizzy, cheering Virgil on. He claims that Virgil's "won a million dollars"... but I have to say it again: he wouldn't have a million bucks unless he SOLD THE BELT. Clothesline, swinging neckbreaker and gut-wrench suplex from Virgil, as we get an inset promo from "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Sensational Sherri. DiBiase brags about his "million dollar plan" to get the belt back. Meanwhile, Virgil slaps on the Million Dollar Dream to get the win.
Intro vignette from Repo Man, who's out in the middle of a night to re-possess a car that is a day late on payments. He busts the window and hot-wires the thing. Y'know, had he come along about 10 years later, Repo Man might've been popular with the Grand Theft Auto crowd.
Events Center with Sean Mooney
Just a straight-up promo for Survivor Series. We get Ric Flair's team, as his Big Gold Belt and is not being video-distorted. It's all happening Thanksgiving Eve-- order now!
Match 3: The Warlord (w/Harvey Whippleman) vs. Brad Kramer
Before the match, we get a flashback from Prime Time Wrestling (wha?!!), where the British Bulldog power-slammed Slick after a match against Warlord. As a result, we "won't be seeing more of the Slickster". However, McMahon tells us that Slick "wants to become an evangelical minister, of all things". Kramer jumps right into a powerslam from the Warlord, then gets planted with a gut-wrench and a vertical suplex. In-set promo from Whippleman, who just establishes that he's the new manager. McMahon asks Savage about the mysterious "Mr. Madness" who's been popping up. Macho Man officially has "no comment", though. Warlord slaps on the full Nelson to get the win, to the delight of 8 people.
Events Center with Sean Mooney
More Survivor Series hype, as we get a promo from the team of the Beverly Brothers and the Nasty Boys. Saggs: "Not too many turkeys make it back from Nasty-ville". We follow that up with a countering promo from the Bushwhackers and Rockers.
Match 4: Jim "The Anvil" Nedihart vs. Ric Flair
"Feature match". Lock-up and Neidhart floors Flair with a shoulder-block. But, being Flair, he just gets up and gives Neidhart a "wooooo"! Flair tries to work on him, but Anvil is right back with a backdrop and a charging clothesline. Neidhart misses a charging knee into the corner, as Flair takes over. Neidhart hits his right knee into the turnbuckle and sells an injury...but in a mild slip, Flair starts targeting the left knee. I suppose you could No-Prize that and say: "well, Flair wants to hinder BOTH knees". They hit the ropes and Flair actually lands a flying cross-body press for 2! Flair clips the left knee and goes back to work on it. Flair slaps on the figure-four leglock and after about 30 seconds, referee Joey Marella calls for the bell. Afterwards, Flair stomps the knee and applies the figure four two more times! The arrival of ONE additional ref is enough to get Flair to break it and leave the ring. A nothing match, but this was one of Flair's first nationally televised WWF matches, so that's something.
Match 5: The Beverly Brothers (Beau & Blake w/ The Genius) vs. Mark Wilson and Dan Robbins
Back from commerical, as Neidhart is still being helped down the entry aisle. Just to be jerks, the Beverlys decide to beat the tar out of him. Match begins with a nice belly-to-back suplex from Beau, then a full Nelson takedown. Blake comes in for a reverse elbow and a butterfly suplex. A fairly lame double-team backdrop/face jam gets the win for the Bevs.
Survivor Series Report with "Mean" Gene Okerlund
Yup, it's still coming. The team of Jake Roberts, IRS, Typhoon and Earthquake offer their heartfelt sorrow that Sid Justice has been injured. Hulk Hogan and The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) both cut promos about the upcoming "Gravest Challenge". Hogan actually mentions 1984 and his old mantra of "I Fear No Man". Roddy Piper and his team add a humorous promo. The British Bulldog, Bret Hart and Virgil all get worked up, but Piper tells them to calm down and be gentlemen. So, of course, when it's Piper's time to talk, he completely freaks out about Ric Flair and the team tells him to calm down. Also, of minor note, Big Bully Busick is still shown on Colonel Mustafa's team. Neidhart is listed on Jim Duggan's team, as Gene wonders if he'll be ready for the event.
Match 6: The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Major Yates
As far as I know, Yates isn't a military guy...in case you were wondering. I always forget that Taker would do a version of the "chokeslam" back then, but it wasn't nearly as theatrical. He'd just slap on a choke, then kinda' force his opponent to the ground. Taker hits the Tombstone after about 60 seconds.
Events Center with Sean Mooney
We're now about 10 minutes closer to the Suvivor Series! The Legion of Doom (Hawk & Animal) cut a promo with the Big Bossman, as they re-iterate the claim that Randy Savage step in for Sid Justice. Yet, they really don't a darn, since they're confident they can win as a 3-man unit.
The commentators plug next week's show, which will feature the in-ring debut of Repo Man. Next week's "feature match" will be Irwin R. Schyster taking on Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. They both have some generic Fightin' Words for each other; "you're a tax cheat" countered with "hammer time".
Why'd You Watch This?
Aside from the Survivor Series hype, we got some solid storyline development, this episode. Neidhart's injury is the biggest, but we also get explanations for why Sid and Slick won't be around. I appreciate that they straight-up said: "he's injured" and didn't spin it into something else. That would've been....wait for it.... BOGUS! They even toss a bone to the house show circuit, by mentioning "Mr. Madness". A rather fast-moving show to get you psyched up for Survivor Series. Only real blemish was the left/right knee thing with Neidhart.
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