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Friday, November 24th 2017.
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WWF SummerSlam 1992
by Scrooge McSuck

- Originally held on August 29th, 1992 (birthday SummerSlam... technically) but not broadcasted in the United States until August 31st (um... why?), from Wembley Stadium, in London, England, marking the only time I can recall the WWF leaving North America for a big PPV like this. The tagline was "The Summerslam You Thought You'd Never See!", which can be translated depending on opinion, but I think buiilding the card around face vs. face (and a heel vs. heel) matches as the main events really shows how weak the WWF was when it came to top of the card heels. Hell, the only one they had (Flair) was left off the card completely!

Note: There's not a chance in hell I'm going to go all "director's cut" on this show and include the following three matches that were left off the PPV/taped for television: Tatanka vs. The Berzerker, Tito Santana vs. Papa Shango, and Duggan & Bushwhackers vs. Mountie and Nasty Boys. That's about 30-minutes of time I don't feel like wasting on filler. Another note: Because I have no nostalgic connection, I'm most likely going to go back to my typical recap style, without much of my feelings as a youth... sorry.

- Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan are calling all the action.

Legion of Doom (w/ Paul Ellering & Rocco) vs. Money Inc. (w/ Jimmy Hart):

(Hawk & Animal vs. Ted Dibiase & Irwin R. Schyster) I don't know if this had anything to it... the only program I recall for the LOD post-title reign was with the Beverly Brothers. Money Inc. defeated the LOD for the Tag Titles back in February (long story, don't ask), but dropped them to the Natural Disasters a month before this. Dibiase is rocking the all white tuxedo at this point, but also white trunks and boots... that just doesn't look right to me. The LOD ride motorcycles to the ring (eat your heart out, Undertaker), and Ellering has Rocco strapped to the front... again, please don't ask. Rocco even gets an introduction. Just sad. Dibiase and Hawk start. Hawk barely sells anything and Dibiase rolls out for a breather. He probably smells the booze on him, or something. Wasn't Hawk major wasted for this show? I.R.S. and Animal tag in. I.R.S. gets sent to the corner, then gets thrown down with a press slam. Hawk with an axehandle from the top rope. I.R.S. slaps on a sleeper, while Rocco cheers him on... awful. Hawk back peddles to the corner to escape, then charges in with a clothesline. Hawk to the top rope, and he misses the clothesline. Hawk's condition becomes more obvious, barely able to properly execute his half of a fucking slam, and generally looking like a fish, flopping out of water. I.R.S. with elbow drops for a two count, then it's chinlock time! Hawk continues to play face-in-peril, until we get a double collision... I think. That's MCMAHON'S words. He said, with a pause, "I think." I.R.S. and Hawk do another collision spot, and at least it looked like it was done right. Animal thankfully gets the hot tag, and comes off the ropes with a shoulder on Dibiase. Animal with a dropkick to I.RS., then a double clothesline on both men. I.R.S. gets tossed, and they set up for the Doomsday, but I.R.S. interrupts with a dropkick on Animal. I.R.S. gets tossed again, Animal with a powerslam on Dibiase, and it's finally over at 12:01. Dibiase and Rotundo did the best they could to wrestle themselves, because Hawk was useless as useless gets, and ended up working 90% of the match. Hawk would disappear from the wrestling scene following this, and Animal would leave soon after, working a few more weeks with Crush of all people as Hawk's replacement.

Virgil vs. Nailz:

From winning the Million Dollar Belt one year to undercard squash match fodder the next... welcome to the sad saga of Virgil. The character of Nailz was introduced as an ex-convict who was allegedly beaten merciessly by the Boss Man countless time, and promised revenge (see also: Bob, Sideshow)... and delivered on that promise, knocking Boss Man out of action, and giving the WWF a chance to run their version of COPS or something. Nailz chokes Virgil in the corner. Nailz's bright orange jumpsuit is really fucking with the settings on my T.V... TOO BRIGHT! Virgil fights free with rights, and connects with a clothesline and dropkick, but Nailz barely sells and chokes more. Virgil with a sunset flip, then a roll up, but Nailz with more choking. I'd say the action spills outside, but Nailz is in control, and his idea of action is doing nothing. Virgil mounts another comeback, but throws himself into an outstretched arm, so I guess it's a clothesline. Nailz with a "sleeper" hold, but it's more like a lazy chinlock, and THAT wins it at 3:17. Total ass. Nailz might be the worst wrestler in history, and that includes all celebrities and non-wrestling personalities.

Shawn Michaels (w/ Sensational Sherri) vs. "The Model" Rick Martel:

Who books a Heel vs. Heel Match on the second biggest PPV of the year?! They're fighting over Sherri, since she's the only piece of ass still in the company at this point, and she's demanded that neither man get hit in the face... whatever. Michaels was to have been in the IC Title Match had this not taken place in England, so we can see what the secondary option was for him. Sherri is wearing somewhat revealing costume, for 1992's standards. Martel hangs on to a headlock with some hair pulling. Criss-cross sequence, and Model frustrates Michaels with an aerobics showcase. Michaels with a dropkick, and his own brand of showboating. Whip to the corner, and Martel misses a body press. Michaels works the arm and yanks the hair. Martel returns the favor, and both tease a punch to the face. Martel heads out of the ring, and sets his attention on Sherri. Michaels finally gets back to his feet, but Martel is right back on him. Michaels surprises Martel with a roll up, but Martel counters, and both take turns yanking the trunks. Michaels with a crescent kick to the chest for a two count. Whip to the corner, and Martel runs face-first into a knee. Things finally escalate into some bitch slaps, and Sherri interrupts it by fainting... she's faking it, by he way, but Michaels and Martel both tend to her, but are more concerned with beating the crap out of each other. It all leads to a double count-out at 8:05... Michaels and Martel continue to brawl until a gaggle of referee's force them apart. Michaels carries Sherri back to the dressing room, but Martel makes one last appearance, dumping a bucket of water on them. Nice to have it handy, I guess. I don't know, it was OK I guess, but hard to get into for me with the "no hitting the face" restrictions and just not caring for the storyline.

The Natural Disasters vs. The Beverly Brothers (w/ The Genius):

(Earthquake & Typhoon vs. Beau & Blake Beverly)
Common sense questions why not do the obvious matches of Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters and Legion of Doom vs. Beverly Brothers, instead of flipping them around for pointless filler? I guess the Beverly Brothers beat the Disasters on television right before the title change, so was that enough to justify this booking? The Beverly's attack from behind, but the Disasters wipe them out with clotheslines and body bumps. Typhoon with a slam on Blake, but he misses a sloppy leg drop. Blake goes for a slam, but Typhoon is too fat, and lands on top for a two count. We get face miscommunication (thats a change), and Typhoon gets worked over. I'm sorry for slagging off with PBP, but this whole card has lacked anything to keep my interest. Blake gets a two count from a diving headbutt, then slaps on a front facelock, no doubt for the fake tag spot. Yep, that's what happens. Typhoon continues to get pounded, with almost all of it punch-kick stuff. Typhoon takes the Beverly's down with a double clothesline, but can't tag. Typhoon starts no-sells and slams Blake face-first into the canvas with a handful of hair. Blake gets the Genius' scroll and nails Typhoon with it, while the referee plays stupid. Earthquake FINALLY gets the hot tag, and might as well call for the bell now. Quake sends Beau across the ring with a hip toss, then takes him down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Earthquake crushes Beau in the corner, takes him down with a powerslam, and the Vertical splash finally ends it at 10:23 to a monster pop... I don't know why the crowd is so hot for it. The Genius gets abused afterwards, just for the hell of it. Another match that was complete crap until the last 90-seconds.

Crush vs. Repo Man:

Are you serious?! Crush vs. Repo Man is on a big PPV like this? Repo Man is best known as Smash of Demolition, so it's kind of like a ex-partner vs. ex-partner match, except no one recognizes this fact, and the one guy with the same name has a completely different character. I'll admit... I really dug Crush, and he had some kickass music, by 1992's standards. Repo attacks before the bell, but Crush no-sells, and quickly shows off his strength with a gorilla press slam. The action spills to the floor, where Crush lays Repo out with a clothesline. Back in the ring, Repo Man goes for a body press, but Crush lays him in the corner and pounds away on the back. Crush' mullet must be on steroids... and that right there is NOT a word to use for the WWF in 1992. Repo thumbs the eyes, and takes Crush down with a back suplex. Crush no-sells, and takes Repo down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Crush heads to the top rope, and misses a knee drop. Repo slams Crush face-first into the canvas for a two count. Repo to the top, and a body press is turned into a powerslam from Crush. He signals for the end, slaps on the Cranium Crush (Head Vice), and it's all over at 4:03. Just an extended squash match, but it had plenty of action and was, gasp, watchable.


WWF Championship Match:
"Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. The Ultimate Warrior:

Didn't Warrior retire Randy Savage at WrestleMania VII? How is he allowed to be WWF Champion all of a sudden? All kidding aside, this is a pretty big rematch, and with both men going in as babyface, they threw in the plot that Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect struck a deal with one of them to ensure they would walk away victorious, but wouldn't reveal who, creating mind games for paranoid Savage and Warrior to lose trust in each other, even if they lying about it the whole time. Scrooge Tidbit: As a kid, I thought the real Warrior died, and that the Warrior at WM VIII was Kerry Von Erich. Watching this show made me realize how dumb I was (I was probably 9 or 10 the first time watching this one).

Savage offers a handshake, and after some trash talk, Warrior accepts, only for them to collide like two bulls. Lockup into the ropes, and Savage gives a clean break. Lockup #2, and Warrior shoves Savage across the ring. Savage with a knee to the midsection, followed by the Boomerang for a two count! Savage to the top rope, and he takes a fist to the midsection. Warrior with an atomic drop, then an inverted version. Warrior with a clothesline for a two count. Warrior with a pair of shoulder blocks, but he misses an elbow. Savage quickly hammers away, and drops a knee for another two count. Savage slaps on a sleeper hold to slow things down, but Warrior breaks free quite quickly with a jaw buster. Warrior sends Savage to the corner, and lays him out with roundhouse rights. Whip across the ring, and Warrior with boots to the midsection. Warrior with a short-arm clothesline for a two count. Savage ducks a clothesline and uses the tights for a leverage throw into the corner. Savage with a clothesline to knock Warrior out of the ring. Savage tosses Warrior back inside, and comes off the top with a double axehandle, but Warrior is too pumped up. Savage to the top again, and a second one finally puts Warrior down for a two count. Savage goes one more, but Warrior catches him in mid-air, and executes a back breaker for a two count. Warrior sends Savage from corner to corner, then slaps on a bearhug, but quickly throws him down to cover for another two count. Warrior with a side back breaker for two. Savage surprises Warrior with a small package for two. Whip to the ropes, and Savage with a swinging neck breaker to counter a back drop. Savage hangs Warrior up across the top rope, and covers for two. Savage sets up for a suplex, but his back is still hurting from the earlier work done on it, allowing Warrior to recover and go back to the ailing part on Savage's body. Warrior sells the neck before bringing Savage over with a suplex for a two count. Savage pulls himself up with the ropes, then drops down to avoid a charge, causing Warrior to spill to the floor.

Savage heads to the top rope, and comes crashing down with a double axehandle. Savage gives Warrior a taste of the ring steps for good measure. Savage stomps away on Warrior, before finally bringing the match back into the ring. Savage quickly covers, and gets a very near fall. Suddenly, Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect head to ringside, as Savage takes Warrior over with a sunset flip. Both men get back up, and Warrior quickly puts Savage back down with a clothesline. Warrior with a slam, and after hesitating, goes for the splash, but Savage brings up the knees. Savage covers, but Warrior manages to kick out. Criss-cross, and a double clothesline has both men down for the count. Warrior stumbles over to Savage and lands on top for a two count. Savage turns it over and gets two, himself. Savage inches near the ropes, and gets tripped up by Perfect. WARRIOR SOLD OUT! Savage remains occupied with Perfect, allowing Warrior to lay him out with a roundhouse right. Warrior with a double choke lift and throw to the corner. Whip to the corner gets turned around, and it's enough to sandwich the referee. Warrior heads to the top rope, and he comes down with a double axehandle, but the referee is still dazed. He finally comes over to make a count, and only gets two. Warrior argues with the referee, allowing Savage to get up, and attack from behind with a running high knee, knocking the referee out, again. Savage drills Warrior with a piledriver, then heads outside to wake up the referee. Perfect gets in the ring to help Warrior up, then holds him in place for Flair to KO him with a foreign object. SAVAGE SOLD OUT! Savage pulls Warrior up, slams him, then comes off the top rope with the elbow, but that only gets two, despite a handful of tights. Warrior goes through his routine, despite Savage's flurry of blows across the back. Warrior comes off the ropes with three clotheslines, and a diving shoulder tackle follows. Warrior with the press slam, but as he hits the ropes, Flair lays him out with a chair... Savage drags Warriot o the center of the ring, but concerns himself with how the hell that happened. Savage slowly heads to the top rope, then changes direction, and goes for Flair, but takes a chair shot to the leg on the way down. Stupid! That gets him Counted-Out at 25:45. Flair and Perfect continue to punish Savage on the floor, until Warrior comes to and chases the duo off. This attack would help Flair in regaining the title a week or so later, a rare time that a title change was done on Prime Time Wrestling. Pretty good, but I don't think it was better than their match at WrestleMania. Both matches were worked completely different, which is a plus, and this might've been a better WRESTLING match, but WrestleMania VII had everything, and was just an outstanding performance and story from start to finish.

The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. Kamala (w/ Harvey Wippleman & Kimchee):

How do you follow one of the WWF's MOTY nominee's? By throwing Kamala out there, and add a pre-workrate Undertaker to really drive the nail into the coffin (no pun intended). Undertaker was doing a program with the Berzerker in the months leading up to this show, then suddenly got thrown into something with Kamala. Either way, the matches would suck, but still, a lot of programs aborted or altered for whatever reasons. Undertaker comes to the ring on the back of a hearse, and that's the highspot of the match. I think his entrance is longer than the match, too. Kamala tries a sneak attack, but Undertaker hammers away. Undertaker climbs the ropes, and it's old school before it had a name. I used to just say "the rope walk clothesline". Undertaker goes for it again, but this time Kamala falls on his ass in an attempt to throw Undertaker off. Blown spot? Kamala clotheslines Undertaker to the floor, and he proceeds to choke out Wippleman and Kimchee. Kamala follows, and pounds away. Back inside, and it's all chops. Undertaker with the goozle and a chokeslam to a pretty big pop. Did Undertaker regularly do a chokeslam back in 1992? Whip to the ropes, and the diving clothesline connects. Undertaker goes for the Tombstone, but Kimchee runs in for the Disqualification at 3:40. Jesus, did Kamala REALLY need protection when he was completely squashed the entire match? Kamala gets post-match revenge, with splash after splash, but Undertaker sits up, regardless. This marks the debut of "Undertaker scares the shit out of the monster heel", an angle recycled over and over and over... and over and over again for the better part of two decades. Urban Legend is that Undertaker recieved 500 K for this match... sorry Kamala, I think you're full of shit.

- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper makes a surprise appearance playing bagpipes with a group of Highlanders (not the tag team). Odd to use Piper for such a random appearance, but this marks the last time I can recall Piper being on WWF Television/PPV until WrestleMania X.

WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. The British Bulldog:

This might be a good one... again, no real angle to set the match up, but leading into the show, there was a lot of hype about family tension, particular surrounding Bret Hart's sister, and Davey Boy's wife, Diana, who is sitting among the crowd for this one, and shown a few times too many. Bulldog also comes to the ring with Lennox Lewis, because they're both British, I guess. Bret Hart will gladly accept the role of heel for this one, I'm sure, because there's no way he can get the face reactions over the hometown boy. Shoving match to start. Lockup, and Davey shoves Bret into the corner. Bulldog with a standing side headlock, and a shoulder block knocks Bret clear out of the ring. Back inside, Bret with a headlock, but Bulldog counters with a head scissors. Repeat, and this time Bret hangs on. Whip to the ropes, and Bret with a roll up for a two count. Small package for two. Bulldog escapes a headlock and goes to work on the arm. Bret with an elbow to the face to escape, and he goes to the arm, now. Criss-cross, Bulldog catches Bret in a leap frog, and slingshots him to the corner. Bulldog with a crucifix for a two count, and he continues to work the arm. Bret with a whip to the ropes, and a knee to the midsection puts Davey Boy down. Bret with a leg drop, then slaps on a chinlock. Bulldog escapes, but runs into an elbow. Davey goes for another crucifix, but Bret counters with a samoan drop for a two count. Bret with another chinlock, and I think it's obvious he's calling spots, as the camera unwisely gets a hard close-up of Bret mid-sentence. Whip to the ropes, and Bret with a shoulder block. Criss-cross, and Bulldog sends Bret flying across the ring with a monkey flip. Bulldog sends Bret to the corner, but runs into a boot at full speed. Bret with a running bulldog, but gets caught going to the top rope, and promptly slammed off. Bulldog climbs up this time, and misses a splash or knee drop or whatever the fuck he was going for.

Bret remains in control, and uses Bulldog's momentum to send him out, through the ropes. Bulldog stumbles around until Bret goes flying over the top rope, and hooks Bulldog around the face to pull him down. Badly blown spot by Davey Boy, but Bret covered it up by nearly killing him in the process. Bret rams Bulldog into the post, then brings it back into the ring. Whip to the corner, and Bulldog takes it hard. Bret with a headbutt and the Russian leg sweep for a two count. Bret with some vicious looking uppercuts, followed by a dropkick. Whip to the ropes and Bret with a back body drop for a two count. Bret with a snap suplex for a two count, then back to the chinlock. Bret goes for another uppercut, but Bulldog counters with a back slide for a two count. Bret quickly drops an elbow across the back of the head, and connects with a side back breaker. He heads to the second turnbuckle, and comes off with an elbow across the back of the head for another two count. Bret yanks Bulldog up from the canvas by the hair, and clubs him across the face for having such ridiculously cool hair. Bret with a snapmare, chinlock, spot call, slugfest, and sleeper hold applied. Bulldog makes the ropes, but Bret quickly reapplies the hold. Bulldog rams Bret to the corner, but Bret goes for it again, so Bulldog rams him back even harder this time. They exchange rights until Bulldog press slams Bret and drops him across the top rope... kind of. Bret caught more of the middle rope than anything, and that looked painful. Bulldog whips Bret to the corner, and bowls over him with three clotheslines for a two count. Bulldog with a second press slam for two. Bulldog with the delay vertical suplex for two. Chest-first bump into the corner for two. Bulldog pulls Bret off the canvas and plants him with the running powerslam, but that's still only good enough for a two count. Bulldog pie-faces Bret out of the ring, practically dead on his feet. Bulldog goes for a suplex from the apron, but Bret counters with a bridging suplex for a two count. Bret sets up for a suplex, but Bulldog crotches him on the metal ring bar beyond the turnbuckle (ouch), and a super-plex gets two! Whip to the ropes, and a double clothesline wipes the both of them out. Bret tangles up legs with Bulldog and turns over into the Sharpshooter, but Bulldog digs down deep to crawl over to the ropes and force the break. Whip to the ropes, Bret with a sunset flip attempt, but Bulldog counters, pins both legs down, and gets the three count at 25:13 to become the NEW Intercontinental Champion. Bret's clearly pissed at himself, but congradulates Davey Boy on the victory and they celebrate in the middle of the ring with Diana to close out the show. Started off slow, but damn did it just keep building up better and better. Although my tone was getting frustrated by the poor camera work catching Bret whispering spots into Davey Boy's ear, a hell of a match, well paced, and it had the crowd eating out of their hands for the last 10 minutes with near falls, big spots, and flawless action. No disrespect to Davey Boy, but this was the greatest carry job ever.

Final Thoughts: Without much of a feel for nostalgia to factor into my opinion, the undercard is fast forward material all the way, with a lot of filler, unconvential booking, and everything came out across as boring. The double main event more than delivered though, with Savage and Warrior finally bringing something to the table to make this show feel like it was worthy of the atmosphere of 80,000 fans in Wembley Stadium, and then closing out the show with an all-time classic like Bret and Bulldog just completely wiped my negative perception of the show away. Watch the last hour or so and skip the rest, it's a damn good hour of wrestling.

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