Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
- We open up in the GM’s office as Chris Jericho and Mike Adamle are talking. Jericho feels that Adamle lied to him last week, but Adamle says Chris was only temporarily in charge. Jericho is also unhappy about the fans being able to pick the special referee at Cyber Sunday. Adamle reminds Chris that he is the reason he won the belt and he is making an executive decision for tonight. Jericho and Batista will both wrestle tonight and the other man will pick each opponent. Jericho says this is unacceptable and he needs to be taken care of. He is going to go over Adamle’s head and talk to Shane and Stephanie. Adamle laughs and says they turn their phones off during the show. Jericho says he has another way to get a hold of them and walks out of the room. He passes by Jamie Noble, Mickie James and Candice and they are texting away. Jericho isn’t impressed and walks down the hall as we join Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler at ringside. They talk about tonight’s show but we are quickly interrupted by Chris Jericho who is walking to the ring. He says it is bad enough that he has to face Batista at Cyber Sunday and it is made even worse that Adamle has given the fans the power to decide the referee and all three options are flawed. He runs all three of them down and explains why they will all be biased against him. He speaks directly to Shane and Stephanie and asks them to abolish the stipulation as his reign shouldn’t end due to a biased official and a bunch of hypocrites and their cell phones. By not getting rid of the stipulations, they are giving Batista the title and it is unfair. Apparently one man has had enough as Shawn Michaels’ music fires up and he slowly walks down the aisle and to the ring. Shawn says nothing would thrill him more than to come out and tell Jericho if he were voted in as referee he would put their differences aside and call the match down the middle. He would like to tell Jericho it is better if he wins, because then he could challenge and beat Jericho for the belt. He would like to say all that but he can’t because if he is voted in as referee he will do everything he can make sure Cyber Sunday is the worst day of his life. He isn’t a politician that will beg people to vote for him. He will do what Obama and McCain would love to do to each other but can’t…and he nails Jericho in the face. He hammers away at Jericho, but he is able to escape and bail up the aisle as the crowd is behind HBK all the way. Jericho comes back to the ramp and announces that he has chosen Batista’s opponent for tonight: Shawn Michaels! And with that we are out to break.
- We are back and it is time for the Saints Row 2 WWE Rewind which looks back at the tag match from last week where Rey Mysterio and Matt Hardy teamed up but just came up short against Mark Henry and Kane.
1) Kane & Mark Henry defeat Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio when Kane pins Mysterio with a kick to the stomach as Rey came off the top rope
Back in the arena, we are joined by Rey Mysterio and are set for a tag team rematch from last week’s show. Michael informs us that Rey will take on Kane at Cyber Sunday and the fans can choose the type of match: falls count anywhere, no hold barred or best of three falls. The rest of the participants are out next and we see that Johnny Knoxville is in attendance at ringside. Matt and Henry start off and Matt slugs away to start and follows with a clothesline. Henry catches him on a charge and slams him down. He misses an elbow and Matt heads to the middle rope and hits an axehandle. He follows with another and then a tornado DDT for two. Henry goes for the Twist of Fate but Henry shoves him off into the corner. Hardy smacks Kane but walks into a huge clothesline. Henry keeps him down and tags in Kane. Kane runs him to the corner and smacks away at him and then runs his shoulder into Matt’s gut. Kane shoots him into the corner again and tags in Henry. Henry clubs at the side of Matt’s head and grabs a neck vice. Matt works out but Henry puts him back down and tags in Kane, who gets a near fall. Kane grabs a reverse chinlock as Michael talks about Tony Atlas’s influence on Henry’s career. Hardy fights to his feet and is able to kick Kane on a charge but he eats a clothesline as he comes out of the corner. Kane hoists Matt up on his shoulder, but Matt slips down and hits another DDT. Matt is able to tag in Rey and he takes Kane down and then hits a double stomp on his gut for two. Kane tries to lift of Rey but he floats over and hits a reverse DDT for another near fall. Rey knocks Henry off the apron but Kane takes advantage and drills Rey. Rey recovers and grabs a headscissors and takes Kane into the middle rope and he hits the 619 on him. Hardy charges Henry off the apron and on to the floor but Henry catches him. Rey runs the apron and knocks Matt on top of Henry. As they hit the floor, Rey heads back up top and he leaps off but Kane catches him in the stomach and picks up the win. Grade: 2
- Kane attempts a chokeslam after the bell, but Rey wriggles free and sends Kane to the floor. Backstage, the Grish is with Batista. He says that Chris Jericho is a lot of things, but he isn’t stupid. He knows there is no love lost between he and Michaels and that Michaels has a lot of pent up rage. He respects him as a competitor but he will beat him to the punch if he tries to take him out. That was short and simple and we are out to break.
- We are back and thanking Propane Nightmares for giving us the Cyber Sunday theme song: "Pendulum".
2) John Bradshaw Layfield defeats Haas Hogan with the Clothesline from Hell
And we head back to the Pond as we are be joined by JBL and his limousine for our next match. JBL looks to be in a foul mood again as we check out Nancy O’Dell at ringside. JBL has a mike and says the economy is the talk of everywhere he goes. Everyone asks him if they are going to lose everything but JBL says there is a light at the end of the tunnel with the bailout plan from Congress. The taxpayers are funding it and will ensure that JBL will keep his money and make bank. Congress knows that the poor will always be here but the rich must be taken care of at all extremes. He is America, he is a real American…and…whoa! Real American fires up…but Haas Hogan struts his way to the ring. He is doing a damn fine job once again as the crowd is torn between liking it and being disappointed. He hits the poses and the ear and rips the shirt off but JBL seems none too pleased. All of his accessories say “Haas-a-mania” which is awesome. JBL runs him into the buckle and hammers away at him in the corner. He runs him into each corner but Hogan is “Haasing up” around the ring as Lawler does a Hogan imitation. The crowd is behind it now and they chant as he hammers away at JBL and lands the big boot. He tries the legdrop but JBL dodges it and drills him with the CFH for the win. Grade: 1
- We now head to ringside where the Grish is with Johnny Knoxville and Chris Pontius from Jackass. Johnny says they are there to take up Great Khali on his invitation. Grish says they are trying to make amends but failing as they took some more digs at Khali on their website. Johnny and Chris deny the images and say it was made up. They are having a ball so far tonight but are waiting for the midgets as they didn’t bring their own. And with that, we go to break.
- We are back and live in Anaheim and it is time for another video package about John Cena’s career, attitude and comeback trail. After that, Randy Orton joins us on the ramp. He finds it funny that no one had any kind words to say about him when he got hurt. He broke his collarbone and finished his match but that must not be a big deal because he is no John Cena. As far as Cyber Sunday, he asks the people not to vote for him as he doesn’t need to put himself in physical jeopardy so close to his return. In the end it won’t matter because he will become World champion again and the people have no say in that. Cole plugs the text voting and they run the numbers down for us again. We see Batista walking backstage and we hit a break.
3) Batista and Shawn Michaels wrestle to a no contest in a lumberjack match
We are back in Anaheim and we are being joined by the Animal! Shawn is out next and we are set to go. Before the match starts, though, Chris Jericho pops up on the Titantron and tells everyone that this is now a lumberjack match. The lumberjacks head out and they basically consist of all the heels on the roster or “possible hostile lumberjacks” as Cole puts it. As they circle the ring, we go to break. When we return, Michaels has a side headlock but Batista puts him down with a shoulderblock. He goes for a step over toehold, but Michaels kicks him off. Batista recovers and rolls Shawn out to the floor, but he gets back in quickly. Batista loads up the powerbomb, but Shawn slips loose and takes him down and locks in a figure four. Jericho is observing from the locker room as Batista hangs on in the hold. He is able to turn the hold over to reverse the pressure and force Shawn to release the hold. Batista clubs away at Shawn but Shawn gets a swinging neckbreaker to put him down. He stomps on Batista’s face and then lands some chops in the corner. Batista shoots Shawn to the opposite corner and hits a charging clothesline. He lands a back elbow and follows with a boot to the gut. He shoots Shawn into the corner again and then buries him with a running powerslam for two. Batista wrenches in a rear naked choke in the center of the ring Shawn slugs his way out of the hold and hammers on Batista. Both men are back up and Shawn charges but Batista sends him flying with a big back drop for two. Batista scoops him up and drills him with a backbreaker for another near fall. Batista grabs Shawn and goes back to the rear choke. He releases Shawn’s head and just wrenches in the bodyscissors as Shawn fights for the ropes. Batista releases the hold as Shawn gets the ropes and he stomps away at his back. He lands a stiff shot to Shawn’s back and then shoots him to the corner but eats a boot on a charge after some miscommunication between the two. Shawn grabs the legs and floats over into a roll up for two. Shawn crawls over and tries for a slam, but his back won’t allow it which does allow Batista to nail him with a clothesline for two. Shawn lands a kneelift as Batista ducks on a whip. Shawn goes for SCM, but Batista catches his foot and tosses him over the top. Shawn skins the cat back in but walks into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Batista charges and clothesline Michaels over the top rope. Henry hoists Shawn up in a bear hug and then tosses him in the ring. Batista covers and gets two again as we go to break. When we return, Batista has Michaels in a bear hug but Shawn is fighting his way out of it. Batista runs Shawn into the corner and buries the shoulder. Michaels fires back with some chops but Batista is able to whip him to the corner. He charges Shawn, but Shawn sidesteps him and Batista goes flying to the floor. He is on his hands and knees and Randy Orton goes for the big punt, but Batista avoids it and slides back in. Shawn heads up top but William Regal distracts the referee while JBL knocks Shawn to the mat. Both men are down but beat the count and Batista hits the spinebuster. The crowd has finally woken up a bit and Batista loads up the Batistabomb. Michaels fights the hold and both men end up tumbling to the floor. The lumberjacks pounce and a huge brawl has broken out, drawing the bell and the no contest. JBL lines up Batista from behind, but he ducks SCM and Michaels nails JBL. Batista goes to spear Michaels, but he dodges it and Batista nails Mark Henry instead. The lumberjacks are gone and Batista and Michaels are struggling to their feet as Jericho looks on in disbelief backstage. They tried and worked a good story but the crowd didn’t get into it until the final moments and it hurt things a bit. Grade: 2.5
- Michaels and Batista stare each other down and meet mid ring for a handshake. Cole talks about the Smackdown main event of Cyber Sunday and runs down the text numbers for us before heading to commercial.
- We are back and being serenaded by the beautiful music of Santino Marella as we are joined by Glamarella. The King runs down the potential Cyber Sunday opponents for Santino and we get brief video clips of each man. Santino presents to us the Honk-a-meter. I love that he explains the concept each week for us. He has now been champion for nine weeks, being in one year’s time, he will be just one week away from breaking the record. For Cyber Sunday, if the fans text the “racist term” Honky, he will face Honky Tonk Man. Either that or they can choose between two cross dressers: “Goldendust” and “Rodney the Piper”. They are all former champions and all perverted. Speaking of perverted, “the Jackass Johnny Knockville” is at ringside. He invites him inside and he promises that he will not ”put mustard on his privates” or whatever it is they do. Knoxville hops in the ring. Santino wants to know why talked bad about Khali. Knoxville shrugs it off and makes another comment about wrestlers’ tallywackers and Beth smacks him in the face for it. She scoops him up but can’t hold on and she just sort of drops him instead of slamming him. Knoxville then gets his wish to see midgets as Hornswoggle appears and drop a tadpole splash on him. Chris Pontius hops in the ring to help Knoxville up but we are now joined by Big Dick Johnson. Johnson gets in Pontius’ face and then strips for him. Pontius likes it, strips and dances as well. The dance off is interrupted by the return of the Boogeyman. He hops in the ring and dances around in circles. He nails Pontius with a clothesline and then feeds him some worms from his own mouth. Knoxville crawls to his feet and says that wasn’t so bad and plugs the Jackass website. It looks like we aren’t done though, as Great Khali and Runjin Singh now join us. Singh’s sideburns are fantastic. Khali and Knoxville stare each other down and laugh a bit, but Khali stops laughing and locks Knoxville in the vice grip. He pulls him up by the head and plants him with the tree slam. He stands tall over Johnny and that should be that. Backstage, Shad is walking with Kelly and they happen upon JTG rummaging through a random bag. He pulls out a Mighty Ducks helmet and says he doesn’t like hockey but he likes ice. They walk off as we walk off to break.
- The E-Surance Slam of the Week takes back to last week’s show when Kelly battled Jillian in the ring while Cryme Tyme, Miz and Morrison went at it on the mikes at ringside. (Editor's note: E-surance is running spots on RAW now?! Does this mean we ERIN E-Surance might pop up?!!)
4) Cryme Tyme & Kelly defeat Miz, Morrison & Jillian Hall with a reverse downward spiral
In the ring, Miz and Morrison are here to prove they are more Gangsta than Cryme Tyme. All three of them lay down some sweet freestylin’ for us. Morrison works in “peanut butter and Johnny” which was awesome. Jillian loses control and keeps going and Miz and Morrison start to rethink things but we are interrupted by Cryme Tyme and Kelly anyway. Jillian and Kelly start off and hammer away at each other. Kelly goes old school as she does a back flip off the middle of the top rope and hits a clothesline for two. Kelly gets the spinning headscissors but Jillian is able to tag in Miz. Kelly tags JTG and he takes Miz down and hits a reverse neck snap. Jillian screams on the apron to try and distract JTG and it works as Miz takes control. Miz slingshots JTG into Morrison and he punch from Morrison sends JTG back across Miz’ knees allowing Morrison to slingshot in with an elbow. Morrison lands some kicks and then takes JTG over and gets a near fall. Morrison grabs a reverse chinlock but JTG works out of it and is able to tag in Shad. He puts Morrison down with some clotheslines and follows with another in the corner. He drills Morrison with a cool one armed spinebuster for a near fall. Everyone hits the ring and Jillian and Kelly brawl to the floor. JTG comes in and nails Morrison with the Mighty Ducks mask and Shad hits a reverse downward spiral for the win. Grade: 2
- We are back and Cole informs us that Big Show and Undertaker will face off at Cyber Sunday. The stipulations for the vote will be announced this Friday. They then send us to a video package of the Show/Taker match from No Mercy. After that, Cole and King run down the rest of the PPV card for us.
5) CM Punk defeats Chris Jericho in a non title match when Batista hits Jericho with a Batistabomb
Jericho is out first and we hit our final break of the night. When we return, Jericho is waiting patiently in the ring. Lillian announces Batista’s choice and it is CM Punk! The crowd wakes up a bit again for Punk’s entrance and he is out for revenge on Jericho. Batista now appears in the Titantron and informs us that he is the special guest referee for the match. Batista’s shirt is a bit small and is already ripped in the back which is funny. The bell sounds and Jericho is jawing with Batista. Punk sneaks in and gets a roll up for two. He follows with some leg lariats and clotheslines Jericho out to the floor. Jericho starts walking up the ramp but Batista follows him out and throws him back in the ring. Punk buries a knee to the gut and lands some more in the corner. Punk gets a modified tarantula in the corner and Batista allows it. Punk release and heads up top and comes off with a high cross body for two. Punk lands a nasty kick to the face of Jericho and then hits a back suplex. Punk goes up to the middle rope but Jericho yanks him off to the mat. He stomps away at Punk and talks some trash to Batista. Jericho hits a textbook suplex and lands a senton splash for a super slow one count. Punk rolls Jericho over for two but Chris recovers and slugs him down. Jericho mares Punk over and grabs a half nelson chokehold. He releases and goes for a bulldog but Punk pushes him off and runs him crotch first into the middle turnbuckle. Punk hits some backhands and a big kick to the head. Jericho grabs a double leg takedown but Punk gets a small package for two. Punk hits a running knee and bulldog. He hoists up Jericho for the G2S but Jericho slips loose and hits the Codebreaker. Batista counts two, but his contact lens is acting up and he can’t count three. Jericho isn’t happy but things get worse as Batista drops him with a Batistabomb. Punk covers and gets the win. The match was good and kept up a nice pace throughout. Grade: 2.5
The opening segment was quick paced and I like that try and hook you in right at the start. Jericho is good enough to carry those types of segments so they should do it more often. I like that they continued to push the heat between Michaels and Jericho and everything he said would seem to be aimed at swinging the fans behind him, but we shall see. Jericho again proved his intelligence by forcing Michaels and Batista to face off later on as well and using Batista to beat on Michaels for him. The opener was solid enough but not nearly as good as last week’s outing. I always enjoy a good big man/little man tag match, but this one didn’t get the time it needed to build up some good heat. Still, Kane beats Rey again to setup their Cyber Sunday match. Haas Hogan was great stuff as always and he had the impression down perfect. JBL played into it as well which was cool, and he picked up the dominant win in addition to the comedy. Orton’s promo was concise and to the point and his plea to not be voted for plays into his selfish character perfectly. Jericho again used his wit to take advantage of a situation by adding the lumberjack stipulation to the Batista/Michaels match. The match itself was technically sound and the work on the back of Michaels was solid but the dead crowd just totally sucked the heat out of it. With the lumberjack environment and two super over faces duking it out, a hot crowd would have carried it for sure. They picked up a bit at the end, but it was too late by that point. Santino was funny as always but the rest of the Jackass segment went downhill from there. It was one of those things that may have sounded somewhat funny on paper but the execution was off and the crowd was weak so it didn’t really get over. They should have cut out the middle parts and went right from Glamarella to Khali to tighten it up. The six person match was decent but the highlight was the pre-match rap. Miz and Morrison are still aces in the tag division and are only rivaled by Team Priceless when it comes to top tag teams. Batista matched Jericho’s mind games from earlier to set the stage for some revenge. The main event was pretty good and kept the pace up but it was just a bit too rushed and constrained by Batista being the ref. The Anaheim crowd was pretty dead as usual so that definitely hurt the show’s atmosphere. The show was decent enough but it definitely had a feeling of treading water this week. After a run of pretty good shows, we got a bit of a dud this week and there really wasn’t one thing you could finger as the reason, as it was a combination of weak booking, lackluster matches and a dead crowd. Hopefully it was just a speed bump and things pick back up next week for the go home episode before Cyber Sunday. Final Grade: C-
MVP: Chris Jericho & CM Punk Runner Up: Miz, John Morrison & Jillian Hall Non MVP: Jackass Segment
Runner Up: Anaheim Fans
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