WWF Monday Night RAW - October 11, 1999
-Seeing as I'm back on board with WWE Network for Payback, I might as well get a classic Raw review out of it.
-From a monster-sized crowd in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, GA, WWF's business is continuing to soar. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are calling the action.
-Mr. McMahon comes to the ring and enjoys a moment with the fans before introducing "Stone Cold" Steve Austin to a big ovation. Austin is fed up with being on the sidelines thanks to Triple H and wasn't scared by HHH stomping a rattlesnake in a symbolic gesture. As per usual, Austin doesn't want to wait for the pay-per-view and calls out The Game. Soon enough, WWF Champion Triple H comes to the stage for a rebuttal, effectively insulting the fans and vowing to retain against Austin. HHH teases a brawl but picks on Jim Ross some more, resulting in Ross attacking him from behind. The distraction sets up Austin pummeling HHH all over the ringside area. Austin holds HHH in place for some J.R. shots, but Chyna runs in for the save. Austin pulls Chyna off Ross and clocks her in the face. HHH escapes and challenges Austin and J.R. to wrestle him and Chyna later on. At age 31, this is no longer my cup of tea, but my inner 14 year old thought this was great.
-Backstage, there's a pen full of dogs, and they're pooping all over the place.
-Mankind is pacing around anxiously. He hasn't seen The Rock since he accidentally hit him with a chair and ate a Rock Bottom for his troubles.
Billy Gunn (with Road Dogg) vs. Crash Holly (with Hardcore Holly)
Gunn catches Crash sliding into the ring and takes control with a press slam.Vertical suplex only gets 2 for Gunn, while Road Dogg clotheslines Hardcore at ringside. Gunn nails the Fame-asser for the win at 0:51. Wasteful squash match.
Winner: Billy Gunn
-Hardcore Holly brings the scale into the ring and lays out the Outlaws. Don't let Crash getting obliterated fool you, the Holly's are very much a threat to the Tag Team Championship.
-Michael Cole interviews Mankind backstage. Mankind realizes he made a mistake by hitting Rock with a chair, but maybe a part of him wanted to do it after taking so much verbal abuse from The Great One.
-Women's Champion Ivory comes to the ring to talk about her upcoming title defense against the elderly Fabulous Moolah. But first, she's going to prove a point by beating up Mae Young. Ivory doesn't care if the crowd feels uncomfortable about her beating up the elderly.
Women's Champion Ivory vs. Mae Young
Ivory cheap shots Young with a belt shot to the head. The match is thrown out as Ivory continues the assault, but Moolah runs in for the save. Ivory is easily dismantled and retreats. Eff this feud.
-Mankind is still waiting for The Rock to arrive. Jim Ross calls Rock on his phone for some answers. Rock says he doesn't like Mankind and could care less, but the important thing is he's almost at the dome.
-Terry Taylor interviews the British Bulldog backstage. The Bulldog has no clue what's going on with all the dogs backstage and thinks it's someone's idea of a joke. Bulldog meets The Rock at No Mercy and is still in the WWF title hunt.
-At the Rebellion pay-per-view, Stephanie McMahon got clocked in the head by The British Bulldog. In a follow-up interview, Stephanie, playing an overly innocent, sing-songy girl, gets upset about her post-concussion syndrome and lack of feelings towards Test. Big brother Shane McMahon consoles her. This is such a radical difference from the evil Stephanie we've all known and tolerated over the years.
-Mankind is still waiting, but he gets dumped by Val Venis and the British Bulldog. The Acolytes join the fray, but Foley is down and out.
-A limousine pulls into the arena, but it's not The Rock, but Mark Henry and a mystery lady. Lawler is worried the girl might be Henry's sister. Uh oh.
Terri Invitational Tournament:
The match starts off like a tornado match, but the Hardyz manage to slow it down and trap Christian in their corner. Both Hardy's miss flying leg drops and Edge gets the hot tag a mere 2:15 into the match. Edge nails a double spear for 2. The match breaks down, Edge hits the downward spiral, but Jeff breaks the cover with a Swanton Bomb (in an overly telegraphed spot). Christian drops Jeff with the Unprettier. Matt drops Edge with a moonsault to the floor and it sets off a series of dives. The ringside brawl results in a double disqualification at 4:42. Short match, bad finish, typical of the time.
Edge and Christian vs. The Brood (Matt and Jeff Hardy)
-The Rock finally arrives at the dome and talks to Kevin Kelly. The Rock wipes his @ss with Mankind's feelings. The Rock eloquently makes his case that the British Bulldog is underestimating him and will take care of business at No Mercy. Rock panders by addressing the people of "Rocklanta" and runs through his catchphrases. This Rock is so much more fun to watch than the smiling goof we got at Wrestlemania 32.
X-Pac vs. Faarooq (with Bradshaw)
This is building to a weird 4-way match at No Mercy with Kane, X-Pac, Faarooq, and Bradshaw. Faarooq uses his strength advantage to whip X-Pac around and deliver a backbreaker. Kane is seen watching backstage. Bradshaw gets away with slamming X-Pac into the ring post. X-Pac escapes a bear hug only to eat a spinebuster slam. X-Pac desperately counters into a neck breaker and lands a roundhouse kick. The crowd wakes up for the Bronco Buster. Bradshaw distracts on the apron, but X-Pac kicks Faarooq into him. The X-Factor finishes at 3:22. This is the sort of short, breezy, TV match that doesn't go through a commercial I wish we'd see more of today.
-The Acolytes prepare to destroy X-Pac, but Kane's pyro goes off and he considers making the save. Unfortunately, X-Pac ordered Kane to stay out of the ring earlier, so he suffers a double powerbomb. The Acolytes prepare a top rope move, and Kane can't stop himself from storming the ring and chokeslamming the life out of Bradshaw. X-Pac is mad about the save and shoves his partner away.
-Turn's out Mark Henry's mystery lady is his psychiatrist and she's giving him therapy for his severe sex issues. Henry is more interested in getting freaky with handcuffs than getting help. I'm pretty sure this whole angle was meant to make Henry quit so they wouldn't have to honor the ridiculous ten year contract he was working under, but dammit, Henry did everything he was asked to with a smile.
Chris Jericho and Curtis Hughes vs. The Headbangers (Mosh and Thrasher)
The Headbangers are back together and are sporting blond ponytails to mock Jericho's hair. Jericho goes right to work on Mosh, but gets tossed onto the ropes. Jericho lights Mosh up with chops and gets himself stuck in a tree of woe, absorbing a running elbow. Thrasher tags in for a double team. Hughes walks into a flying clothesline from Mosh. Thrasher and Hughes both go down on a double clothesline. The match breaks down, with Jericho slugging Hughes in frustration. Jericho abandons the match, leaving Hughes to suffer the Stage Dive for the loss at 3:25. The hilariously pointless and random Jericho/Hughes working relationship comes to an anticlimatic end.
Winners: The Headbangers
-D'Lo Brown consoles Big Show, who just received word that his father is dying of cancer. This is pretty bizzarre.
-The Rock orders Mankind to clean up the dog poop and put it all on a metal stretcher. I've probably typed weirder sentences while recapping wrestling.
This match was arranged by Henry's therapist, who wants Henry to focus on work. Bell rings and Henry quickly flees the ring to see if the hos will bring him back. Godfather tosses Henry again, and he goes into a trance while all the women fondle him. Godfather delivers the Ho Train running clothesline to the back of the head and wins at 1:19. Hilarious.
The Godfather (with the Hos) vs. Mark Henry
Winner: The Godfather
-The sex therapist shakes her head in disgust as all the women pounce on Henry.
-Kevin Kelly interviews WWF Champion Triple H and Chyna in the locker room. Triple H thinks Austin should always be concerned about facing The Game, whether Jim Ross is involved or not. J.R. got into his business, so he's got a slobberknocker coming his way.
Big Boss Man vs. Big Show
Boss Man cuts a short promo saying he doesn't give a damn about Big Show's personal problems and wants to kick his fat ass. Show catches Boss Man in the aisle with a thrust kick and continues the assault with a shoulder block in the ring. Boss Man unloads with his night stick for the DQ at 0:33. Not really a match, just an angle.
Winner via DQ: Big Show
-Al Snow runs in to attack Boss Man. Snow unleashes a flurry of trapped head butts, but Boss Man puts him down with the night stick.
-Mankind is still scooping up poo backstage. He's got quite the collection piled up on the stretch.
-Austin enjoys a beer while talking strategy with Jim Ross. I'm starting to think that this Stone Cold guy might have a drinking problem.
WWF Champion Triple H and Chyna vs. Steve Austin and Jim Ross
J.R. enters first and gets attacked by Triple H before Austin can even enter the arena. Austin never makes it to the ring, leading HHH up the ramp in a brawl. Stone Cold suplexes HHH onto the steel stage before leading him to ringside. HHH lands some punches, but gets whipped into the ring steps. Meanwhile, Chyna is choking out Ross. Austin and HHH brawl into the crowd and out the arena doors. Back in the ring, Chyna is beating up Ross. She puts Ross down with a Pedigree, but Jeff Jarrett runs in and hits her in the head with a toaster. The Kat wheels out a laundry bin and Jarrett piles her into it and closes the lid. Chyna went from bully heel to victimized babyface in the span of 30 seconds. Jarrett and Kat wheel Chyna out while HHH and Austin return from the back. Austin tosses Triple H into a nacho stand and beer stand. Austin pours a beer on Triple H and tells him off before heading back to the announce table for a celebratory toast with J.R. This was all overbooked nonsense and I enjoyed it quite a bit.
-Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett wheels the Chyna in the laundry bin off a shipping platform! After a commercial, we see EMT's treating a bloodied Chyna.
The British Bulldog and Val Venis vs. The Rock n' Sock Connection (Mankind and The Rock)
Mankind comes to the ring with the platter of dog poop. He leaves it in the aisle, where I'm sure it won't possibly come into play later on. Bell rings and Rock n' Sock quickly clear the ring. Mankind and Venis brawl precariously close to the dog doo. The match settles into Foley as the face in peril. Rock gets a hot tag, but Val Venis pummels him into the corner. Rock explodes out and nails a DDT. Rock ends up on the defense, but switches Bulldog into the corner for lots of punching. Mankind's interference backfires, and Bulldog and Venis stomp a mudhole into Rock. Mankind gets a hot tag, and avoids getting double teamed with a meeting of the minds. Mankind tries to get Mr. Rocko out of Val's drawers, but gets tossed to ringside. Mankind puts on Mr. Socko and chases Val Venis out of the arena. Rock brings the dog poop into the ring and Rock Bottoms the Bulldog right onto the pile! The crowd just LOVES this. Well, they are in Georgia. Rock stops himself from delivering a People's Elbow due to Bulldog's back being covered in poop. Rock ends up just leaving without gaining a pinfall or submission at 8:15, but his music is playing so I guess he won.
Winners via Moral Victory: The Rock n' Sock Connection
-The Rock/Austin brawl continues backstage. Austin throws Triple H into a room with a live rattle snake and shuts him in.
Final Thoughts: I laughed, I cried, I even learned a little bit. Thumbs Up.
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