WWE Over the Limit
May 22, 2011
by Samoa Rowe
-Follow me on Twitter: @SamoaRowe
-From Seattle, WA. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Mathews, and Booker T.
-In memory of “Macho Man” Randy Savage.
-R-Truth (with no entrance music) cuts a heel promo before his match. He’s mad because he couldn’t find a parking spot at the arena. It forced him to park with the stink-filled hippies in the crowd tonight. He’s done playing games and threatens to take Rey Mysterio’s spot. This went on a bit too long but I love Truth’s insane A-hole personal from this time period.
R-Truth vs. Rey Mysterio
It doesn’t take long for Rey to set up a hurricanrana off the apron to the floor. Truth trips Rey up on the turnbuckles to take control. Truth shakes off a drop toe hold into the turnbuckles to regain his momentum. Rey counters with a bulldog off the ropes. Springboard cross body by Mysterio, who is unable to get a pinfall. Truth retaliates with a spinning elbow but misses the axe kick. Truth crotches Rey with the ring skirt. Truth plants Rey with the STO for the win at 8:08. Painfully formulaic Rey Mysterio match here, **.
-Truth clocks Mysterio in the head with a water bottle for good measure. What a jerk.
-Todd Grisham interviews The Miz (with Alex Riley) backstage. Grisham wants an explanation for Miz’s claim that he can make Cena say “I quit” in a way nobody has seen before. Miz says that some people don’t have the mental capacity to imagine him succeeding (these days that would include the WWE creative team). Miz never quits and he thrives on proving people wrong.
Jackson tosses an aggressive Barrett away in short order. Barrett is sent crashing to ringside and is unable to lure Jackson into a trap. Barrett is in trouble so he fakes a neck injury to set up an ambush. Jackson fights out of a chinlock and blocks Wasteland. Barrett nails a Pump Handle Slam for a 2 count, but it only seems to fire Jackson up. Barrett is hapless and takes a series of power slams. Jackson sets up the Torture Rack when Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel run in for the DQ finish at 7:24. Nothing compelling here, but Jackson’s power slam festival was fun, **.
Wade Barrett © vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Winner via DQ: Ezekiel Jackson
-Jackson fights off the invading Corre members but gets put down by Barrett. The Corre triple team Jackson and seem satisfied with how things played out.
-CM Punk is giving Mason Ryan some advice on how to deal with Kane when they find their fellow New Nexus members down and out. Ryan panics but Punk says it’s okay that Big Show and Kane did this because it means they’ll have a mental edge. Ryan accuses Punk of not caring about any of them, but Punk works his manipulative charm.
Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero
I seem to remember this match being such a dud that Chavo got released almost immediately after. Maybe he was thrown off by the obnoxious mood lighting. Sin Cara outmaneuvers Chavo long enough to hit a head scissors takedown. Sin Cara follows up with a corkscrew senton to the floor and another head scissors off the apron. Chavo tackles the knee but Sin Cara comes back with a standing moonsault. Chavo gets some shots in but Sin Cara quickly turns it around every time. Sin Cara manages to win the crowd over with his fast-paced offense. Sadly, Sin Cara botches his fancy hurricanrana finisher but gets the win at 7:21. The match was mostly fine, but it helped establish Sin Cara’s sloppy reputation in WWE, **.
Winner: Sin Cara
-Todd Grisham interviews the now former World Champion Christian and current World Champion Randy Orton. So far they’ve been having a respectful rivalry. Christian is confident he’ll regain the title tonight. Orton admits that Christian is a great competitor but there’s not going to be a “happily ever after” in Christian’s feel-good story.
-Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez crash the pay-per-view. Del Rio kills some time by talking about his destiny. Also, isn’t it disgusting that thousands of illegal aliens from Canada are crossing the U.S. border? This goes on until Kane and Big Show interrupt. Kane is angry that the rapture didn’t happen yesterday so Del Rio better skedaddle before his destiny turns into a beat down.
WWE Tag Team Championship:
Jeez, with this booking, no wonder CM Punk was about to quit WWE. It’s hard to believe that he’s just 1 month away from turning his fortune around with his historic worked-shoot promo. Punk forces Ryan to start the match. Kane does a serviceable job selling for Ryan. Punk tags and quickly gets overwhelmed by the champions. Kane’s choke slam is countered with a head kick and he gets cornered by the Nexus. Punk pays tribute to Randy Savage but misses the flying elbow, allowing a hot tag to Big Show. A double choke slam finishes Ryan at 9:02. This was clunky and too long for what it was, *.
Kane and Big Show © vs. The New Nexus (CM Punk and Mason Ryan)
Winners and still WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane and Big Show
Kelly quickly applies a head scissors over the ropes. Kelly’s flying cross body sets up a stink face. Brie drop-kicks Kelly into position for a Nikki drop-kick. Kelly is in trouble and takes a beating. Kelly signals her comeback with a Thesz press. The Bellas perform some Twin Magic and Nikki pulls off the win at 4:00. And no one cares. ½*.
Brie Bella © (with Nikki Bella) vs. Kelly Kelly
Winner and still Divas Champion: Brie Bella
World Heavyweight Championship:
They start off with some back and forth action in an evenly fought contest. Christian dumps Orton for a baseball slide drop-kick. Christian delivers a power slam to set up a main event chinlock. Orton must be furious that Christian is stealing his shtick and retaliates with a superplex. The match continues with no clear advantage for either man. Christian builds some steam and gets a near fall with a reverse DDT. Orton gets some shots in but seems to be on defense. Christian even busts out a diving head butt. Orton shifts the momentum with his patented backbreaker. Orton administers a reverse Boston crab! Christian fakes Orton out and nearly steals it with a sunset flip pin attempt. Orton counters with his DDT off the ropes. Christian blocks the RKO but Orton counters the spear. Orton hesitates on the punt and eats a spear for showing mercy. They block finishers until Orton nails the RKO for the win at 16:47. HELL of a match here, great counters and a real sense of urgency, ****.
Randy Orton © vs. Christian
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton
-Orton helps Christian back on his feet but gets shoved away. Christian comes back to his senses and shakes hands. You can see the wheels spinning in Christian’s facial expressions, it nicely foreshadows his upcoming heel turn.
-We’re ready for the “Kiss My Foot” match but Michael Cole has a doctor’s note excusing him from performing. Fantastic, on to the next match then. Oh wait, Cole has more to say. Apparently, his athletes foot is so bad that if it enters Lawler’s mouth, he could get really sick. The referee rips the note into pieces and rings the bell. Rats.
“Kiss My Foot” match:
Lawler wastes little time ripping Cole out of his pants. Cole begs for mercy and pulls Lawler into the ring steps to TAKE CONTROL OF THE MATCH. Cole takes his shoe to reveal his comedically diseased foot. Lawler blocks the foot and throws Cole through the Cole Mine. Lawler is back in charge and finishes Cole with a fist drop at 2:55. Thank goodness this miserable feud is finally over, DUD.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Winner: Jerry Lawler
-Lawler undoes his boot but seems struck by a good idea. He summons Eve Torres (huh?) to the ring. I guess Cole had been bad-mouthing the divas on commentary, so Eve delivers a moonsault to gain some retribution. Jim Ross joins the party to arguably the pop of the night. J.R. pours his BBQ sauce all over Cole to massive crowd approval. To make a long story short, Cole finally ends up kissing Lawler’s foot while trapped in Bret Hart‘s sharpshooter. The surprise Hart appearance, giving the history with Lawler, was a nice touch. This wasn’t really my cup of tea, but the fans seem to love it.
WWE Championship (I Quit match):
Miz cuts a promo at the opening bell about all the things both he and Alex Riley can legally do. Cena rejects the offer to quit right away and fights off both men. Riley saves Miz from the STF but Cena dumps him over the ropes. They block finishers but Cena hits the AA. Riley attacks Cena with a steel briefcase. Cena suffers a double power bomb but will not quit. The pseudo-handicap match beat-down continues with the ring steps and kendo sticks coming into play. This turns into a rather effective heat segment as Cena defiantly refuses to quit and The Miz comes across like a sick puppy. Riley and Miz lead Cena onto the stage for some sick bumps onto the steel (it’s worth noting that some cars are parked on the stage in accordance to the show’s theme). They stretch Cena out on a camera crane so Miz can whip him with a strap. Back to the ring, Cena finally shows some signs of life, but his comeback attempts are thwarted. Miz delivers the Skull Crushing Finale through a chair. Miz tries to get a Cena fan to beg him to quit but it doesn’t work. Cena gets stuck in the barricade like Winnie the Pooh and takes some chair shots. They rip off the finish to Rock vs. Foley from 1999 and play an audible clip of Cena saying “I Quit” and Miz appears to have won the title at 23:20. The referee isn’t as stupid as he looks (fool me once…) and orders the match to continue. Miz inadvertently clocks Riley with the WWE title and takes the AA through the announce table. Cena has a field day whipping Miz onto the stage. Cena locks on the STF and Miz immediately quits at 26:29. This was so long, but Miz was evil enough to keep things from getting too tedious. Still, this was far too one-sided to be anything memorable or special, **½.
John Cena © vs. The Miz (with Alex Riley)
Winner and still WWE Champion: John Cena
-Cena can barely stand as he celebrates his victory. Frankly, I’m disappointed at the lack of Miz going through one of the cars parked on the stage.
Final Thoughts: Take away the Christian/Orton match and you’re left with one of the all-time most lackluster WWE pay-per-views. I’ll recommend hunting down the dark-horse Christian/Orton match (I’m sure it’s available on Itunes or the Android market place for a couple bucks) but definitely skip this show as a whole. That is unless you really love ** matches. Thumbs down.
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