WWF Mania - February 13, 1993
by Scrooge McSuck
- We're back with another episode of WWF Mania. Yes, I said WWF! No more editing and censoring out that little "F"er. Todd Pettengill is our host, and we can expect about 10-15 different bad impressions and comedy bits from him. Unlike last week where he was joined by the Giant Gonzales, his special co-host for the week is actually able to talk... and it's Hillbilly Jim. UGH. He interrupts Todd shilling WrestleMania, with a chicken in hand. Sorry, ROOSTER. Is it a Red Rooster? I made the joke, not them.
The Nasty Boys vs. Dave Silguero & Robert Taylor:
Pulled from the last week's episode of Superstars. The Nasty Boys were in line for a championship match with Money Inc., before being shoved aside for the awesome tag team of Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake, then moreso in favor of new arrivals the Steiner Brothers. By the summer, they were gone and back in WCW. Typical squash match from the Nasty Boys: Pit-stop, stiff work all around. Vince McMahon's attempt at comedy: refering to one of the jobbers as "Mr. Pink Tights." Jerry Lawler's "Magistrator" illustration almost looks incredibly suggestive before turning it into a spray-can of deodorant.
- Clip of "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Jesse Jackson posing with a Headlock on Hunger T-Shirt. That'll impress the media! We get the information for donating to the Headlock on Hunger, incase we've ignored it every week for the last two months.
Damian Demento vs. Bobby Perez:
Pulled from WWF Wrestling Challenge. What an awful worker Demento was. Other than looking and acting like a total freak, he had nothing. His work stunk, he rarely cut promos, and when he did, they were worse than Warrior in terms of random nonsense. I don't think he ever had a program for the house show circuit, let alone a television angle. After a couple of minutes of generic offense, he drops a knee across the chest for the victory, implying that his knee pad was loaded. The canned reaction is obvious with everyone sitting on their hands.
- We're taken back to the Royal Rumble, where Bobby Heenan unvailed The Narcissist... Lex Luger. He proceeded to waste 5 or so minutes of valuable PPV time by looking at himself in the mirror. Heenan's running hype job for this is borderline gay pornography. All this, just to set up a program with Mr. Perfect? I still can't believe the WWF ditched the obvious perfect gimmick for Luger in favor of a baby kissing, flag waving, patriot. We get a promo from Mr. Perfect in response to Luger's challenge. He tells him he'll show him what he's going to look like in the ring with Mr. Perfect, reveals some 5'4" punk in tighty whities and chops him across the chest.
Special Challenge: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji):
Pulled from Superstars, and it's recycle time: This isn't so much a match, but a physical challenge of whether or not Jim Duggan could knock Yokozuna off his feet. You see, at this point, only an offensive miss lead to Yokozuna being off his feet, so Jim Duggan wants to prove to the country and the world that it can be done by an individual like himself. Yokozuna and Fuji say nay. Before the match, Raymond Rougeau tries to interview Duggan, but Duggan just kind of screams and rambles a lot, mostly ignoring Rougeau. Duggan and Fuji wave their respective flags in a dualing effort. We then get the obligatory face-to-face from the two superstars, plus a SCREAMING challenge! Duggan lines up for his football stance and a collision sees Yokozuna bowling over Duggan. Duggan works the crowd and lines up one more time, with the same results. Jerry Lawler appears to be taking great joy in this. Duggan pumps himself up and he wants ONE MORE TRY! They line up, and Duggan staggers Yokozuna with a shoulder block. Duggan lines up again, ducks a clothesline, and another shoulder finally puts Yokozuna down! The crowd approves.
The victory celebration doesn't last long, as Yokozuna dumps an entire bucket's worth of salt in Jim Duggan's face! That level of salting could result in permanent damage and even blindness! Yokozuna takes Duggan down with a belly-to-belly suplex, then drops a fat-assed leg acros the face. Vince McMahon somehow compares THIS to Pearl Harbor ("That's exactly what it's like all over again!"), but his terrible attitude towards real life disaster isn't even worth mocking anymore. Yokozuna drags Duggan into the corner, and proceeds to Banzai Drop him over and over again. To add insult to injury, Fuji drapes the american flag over Duggan's body, and Yokozuna drops on him for a FOURTH time. Duggan even sells internal injuries with a blood packet in his mouth. By 2012 standards, this is whatever, but in 1993, even though he wasn't that big of a deal anymore, watching Yokozuna destroy Duggan was pretty intense. As Duggan gets carted out, the camera zooms in on the crumpled flag laying near the corner in the ring. Duggan would disappear from television for about 6 weeks, then came back for one last hurrah before putting over Yokozuna in his final television appearance leading up to SummerSlam.
Bob Backlund vs. Iron Mike Sharpe:
Pulled from Superstars, but who knows when. It definitely wasn't the previous weeks episode. In 1983, this would main event a show... now it's a squash match on syndicated television. My, what a decade's difference can be. It's funny how Bob Backlund was given the longevity record at the Royal Rumble, then did NOTHING for the rest of the year. I guess they wanted to erase Ric Flair's name from that record as quick as possible, no matter who it was. Judging from commentary, this is a Mania Exclusive, but with Vince and Savage on the call. They're refering to Todd Pettengill and Hillbilly Jim more than the match. Backlund escapes a full nelson and sends Sharpe back with a mule kick. Speaking of mules, how about that Hillbilly Jim? Whip to the ropes, Backlund crawls between the legs and rolls Sharpe up for the three count at around the 3-minute mark. I forgot, Backlund didn't have a finisher. He just kind of rolled you up. It wasn't until his heel turn that he did the Chicken Wing.
- From Wrestling Challenge, Virgil wins a squash match. Sorry for neglecting this.
Koko B. Ware vs. Repo Man:
Another MANIA EXCLUSIVE, with Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes on commentary. Koko actually coms out to "Bird, Bird, Bird" while Repo doesn't even get an introduction. Not even an "in this corner". Nothing. Will Koko win a match?! Koko gets happy with the clappy, while the audience sits on their hands. Lockup, Repo Man with a waistlock takedown, then lets go to cackle like a maniac. Repo with a knee to th midsection, followed by rights. Whip to the ropes, and Koko comes back with a dropkick. He connects with a headbutt, followed by a diving shoulder tackle. Koko flaps his arms, chasing Repo to the floor. Koko's pants are ABOVE Urkel levels of riding high. There's a 1993 reference for you all. Back inside, Koko with an atomic drop, then grabs a wristlock. Whip to the corner, Koko misses that stupid dive that has never hit. Repo with choking... they're really bringing their A game here. Whip to the ropes, Repo with a clothesline, but he misses an elbow drop. Koko with diving headbutts and a standing dropkick. He goes to the top rope and comes off with a missile dropkick. Repo rolls to the floor, and chokes Koko across the ropes until being Disqualified at 5:09. Wow, that was lame, but Koko B. Ware won a match! Someone get the champagne! The crowd barely reacted to that finish.
- We hype Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels in a Non-Title Match on Superstars, as well as the Giant Gonzales taking on 3 opponents in a handicap match. On Wrestling Challenge, Typhoon takes on Razor Ramon. Nothing announced for Mania next week, so it'll be all recycled stuff, I bet. Hillbilly offers a little piggy for Pettengill as we sign off.
Final Thoughts: The recycled angle between Jim Duggan and Yokozuna is always worth a look, and for a recap show, we did get two exclusive matches, even though one was barely a feature and the other was a main event over a decade earlier. The rest was just a bunch of random squash matches and Todd Pettengill and Hillbilly Jim goofing off. Nothing wrong with this episode, as long as you know what you're getting into, and are a fan of the era.
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