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WWE Main Event - February 27, 2013

by Scrooge McSuck

- Taped on February 26th, from Oklahoma City, OK. Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler are calling the action this week, with JBL out climbing mountains and the Miz being set for a big match early in the taping of Smackdown. Will tonight's episode feature something better than Big Show squashing scrubs?

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes:

We actually opened the show with a backstage segment with Rhodes and Kaitlyn flirting, and Sheamus making fun of the Love-stache. Rhodes wanted a match, Sheamus reminds him of the match they had a few weeks ago on Main Event, and Rhodes promises the Love-stache will strike back. Har Har... Lockup to start. Rhodes grabs the arm, but gets thrown down like a sack of potatoes. Rhodes grabs a waistlock, and Sheamus fights free with an elbow. He comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle, sending Rhodes to the floor. Sheamus with a takedown and knee drop, followed by a suplex for a two count. Rhodes uses the tights to throw Sheamus to the floor, but a body press from the apron is caught. Sheamus blocks being sent to the post, but the Disaster Kick connects as we take a commercial break.

We come back with Rhodes connecting with a DDT for a two count. He stomps Sheamus down in the corner and takes him over with a front facelock. Sheamus fights free, but Rhodes takes him down with a Russian leg sweep and locks on a step over wristlock. Sheamus counters with a roll up for two, and Rhodes quickly meets Sheamus on his feet with a dropkick. The slug it out until Sheamus hits the Irish Curse. He follows up with charging axehandles, but misses a running knee lift. Rhodes skins the cat back in the ring, but a clothesline sends him to the apron and Sheamus finally works in the clubbing forearms across the chest spot. Sheamus brings him back in with a suplex, then comes off the top with a shoulder tackle for a two count. Sheamus with a clothesline to the corner, but another charge meets only the post. Rhodes to the top with a standing moonsault for two. Sheamus blocks a running boot and rolls him up for two. He goes for the Cloverleaf, but Rhodes struggles free, kicks the knee from under Sheamus, and comes off the ropes with a running knee to the face for another two count. Cross Rhodes is countered, as is White Noise. Rhodes side-steps the Brogue Kick, but misses the Disaster Kick. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Attempt #2, and that's enough for the three count at 12:55 (including one commercial break). The result was never in doubt thanks to Rhodes' Job Tour '13, but very satisfying match with balanced offense from both sides.

- Tonight we get to see the instant classic from Monday Night Raw between CM Punk and John Cena, but right now, Mark Henry is WALKING, and he's NEXT!

Justin Gabriel vs. Mark Henry:

This should be quick. I still can't believe Mark Henry has been a WWF Superstar for nearly 17 YEARS. That really makes me start feeling old, knowing he made his debut freshly after the 1996 Olympics, and has remained under contract ever since. Gabriel tries using his speed advantage, but Henry casually throws him to the corner. Gabriel avoids a charge and unleashes a flurry of kicks, but Henry no-sells and lays him out with a headbutt. Gabriel with more kicking, and Henry responds with kicking of his own, plus trash talking. Henry with a charging clothesline, followed by a hard whip to the ropes. Gabriel slips out of a slam and clips the knee. He comes off the ropes, getting caught in a slam position, only to land on the apron. Then for whatever reason they repeat the spot, with Henry planting him with a slam. Henry with the Vader Bomb, landing a knee across the back of the head in an awkward blown moment. The World's Strongest Slam finishes at 4:38. Just a squash match, with Gabriel doing his best "little man" work, and Henry simply shrugging him off and squashing him like a bug.

- Ryback Hype Video! Usually I wouldn't complain about these, because they always serve a purpose, but we're running out of broadcast time and were promised the ENTIRE match between Cena and Punk from Raw. Still, it's an effective way to make someone look good without having them actually wrestle.

- Cody Rhodes and Kaitlyn have another poor acted encounter backstage. Is Cody Rhodes turning face? Will he feud with Damian Sandow? I hope so, because his constant jobbing is getting out of hand.

- The Raw Rewind: Paul Heyman and Vince McMahon fight, Brock Lesnar shows up to attack Vince McMahon, but then Triple H returns to fend off that attempted attack. Brock gets cut open hardway somewhere around the ear/back of the head, so we get a black and white video most of the time. It was still pretty awesome, but I don't want a rematch. I didn't cheer Hunter the first time, so why would I the second?

Raw Rewind: John Cena vs. CM Punk:

Winner gets to face the Rock at WrestleMania XXIX, and we're Joined in Progress, thanks to starting the clip with 16-minutes left of broadcast time. As mentioned, we join it with Cena taking Punk down with an overhead slam, followed by a fisherman suplex. He misses a charge to the corner, ramming his shoulder into the turnbuckle. Punk quickly covers for two, then slams a series of elbows across the back of the neck. Punk with a neck breaker for another two count and slaps on a head scissors. Cena powers his way back to his feet and slams Punk down, Electric Chair style. Cena with a boot to the face, followed by a running bulldog for a two count. He grabs a front facelock, turns it into a side headlock, and takes Punk over for a two count. Whip to the ropes, and a criss-cross sequence ends with Punk connecting on a jumping heel kick for a two count. He slaps on a chinlock, but Cena quickly fights free with fists to the midsection. He bounces off the ropes with shoulder tackles, but goes to the well too many times and spills to the floor. Punk follows with a sucide dive, and we have to take a commercial break.

We come back from break with Punk landing a roundhouse kick to the back of the head. He runs into the corner with a knee to the face, but a short-arm clothesline misses and Cena takes him down with the AA for a two count. Punk rolls to the floor, with Cena following, only to get to taste the ring post. Punk rolls back in to try and get a cheap count-out, but Cena comes back to life in time to roll back in at the count of 9. BULL! Punk quickly connects with the GTS, but it only gets a two count. He goes for it again, but Cena blocks and counters with the STF! Punk with the slow crawl to the ropes to force a break. He kicks the knee from under Cena and plants him with a vicious looking piledriver, but it only gets two! He covers again for two, then again, still for two. Punk to the top rope, missing the Macho Man elbow! Cena busts out the Cena-Canrana, and finishes with the AA for the three count at around the 15-minute mark (including a break, clipped from the neighborhood of 27-28). It's official: Cena will challenge the Rock for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania XXIX. I could go on another rant about nitpicky bullshit, but honestly, there's nothing to complain about. Both men busted their asses, and the finish more than made enough sense in preperation for Cena challenging the Rock. Even in short form, it's a great match, but the full version (well, as full as two commercial breaks is) is a definite must-see.

Final Thoughts: Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes opened the broadcast with a solid performance, and we closed it out with a rebroadcast of one of the best matches featured on free television in a long time. The Henry squash was pretty hard to watch, and the backstage stuff with Rhodes/Kaitlyn was c-level acting bad, but come on... even if one of the two matches worth watching is a repeat, WATCH IT. They wouldn't repeat a match like that without good reason (unless it's on an international show, like Superstars).

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