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WWE Main Event - January 20, 2015

by Scrooge McSuck

- Welcome to the Hulu-Plus Era of WWE Main Event recaps. In a household where Hulu Plus was actually an in-demand purchase, I relented and signed up… I guess I can watch condensed versions of Monday Night Raw, too? Good. I can’t stand the 3-hour shows anymore, anyway.

- Taped from wherever the hell Smackdown was this week, with Tom Phillips and John “Bradshaw” Layfield calling the action, unless otherwise noted.

Kofi Kingston (w/ Woods & Big E.) vs. Tyson Kidd (w/ Cesaro, Rose, Natalya, and Rosebuds) :

The New Day have a date with Kidd, Cesaro, and Adam Rose for the Royal Rumble Kickoff in Elimination Rules. Are you telling me Kofi won’t be in the Rumble? I thought that’s all he’s around for! Earlier this week on Raw, the New Day defeated Kidd and Cesaro and celebrated with the Rosebuds. That’s a crowded ring area for this one. Kidd with a waistlock, then turns it into a wristlock. Kofi counters with a leg sweep and a splash, but doesn’t get a count out of a cover. They lock knuckles, with Kidd taking control with a cheap shot. He plants Kofi with a slam and celebrates prematurely. Kofi with a pair of arm drags and into an armbar. Whip to the corner and Kofi runs face-first into a boot. Kidd with a flurry of foreams and a snapmare before settling in with a chinlock. Kofi fights free, connects with a dropkick, and comes off the ropes with a jumping clothesline. Boom Drop connects, and it’s time to get CLAPPY! Kidd bails before anything can happen, so Kofi follows with a suicide somersault onto Cesaro and Rose! Kidd from out of nowhere with a kick to the face.

We return from break, with Kidd smothering Kofi in the ring apron. Kofi fights out of another chinlock and knocks Kidd off the apron with a running high knee. Back in the ring, Kofi covers for a near fall. Kofi to the top, but Kidd interrupts with a kick to the face. He connects with a hanging DDT, but Kofi gets a foot on the ropes at two! Kidd misses a leg drop on the apron, opening the door for a comeback. S.O.S. connects, and this time it’s Kidd who’s in the ropes to break the count. We get a ringside distraction, allowing Kidd to take over. He goes for the Sharpshooter, but Kofi counters with a cradle for three at 7:06. Post-Match, Cesaro, Kidd, and Rose put a hurting on the New Day. Weird they are putting effort in hyping the Kickoff Match. **1/4 Decent action, but felt a bit too rushed, and never had a chance to really get to the next level.

- Royal Rumble… BY THE NUMBERS!

  • 782 - Entrants!
  • 2 - Feet must touch the floor!
  • 39 –Shawn Michaels record for Total Eliminations
  • 38 – Kane’s total Eliminations, 1 shy of the record.
  • 11 – Kane’s total eliminations in one match (2001)
  • 12 - Roman Reigns total eliminations in 2014, breaking Kane’s record
  • 216,557 - pounds (or 108 tons) have competed in the Royal Rumble (Editor's Note: Gorilla Monsoon would be happy to know that the ring has been specially reinforced).
  • 9 - Have won in their Rumble Debut
  • 43 - Entrants are WWE Hall of Famers
  • 26 - Different Nations have been represented (27 if you count the Nation of DOMINATION)
  • 170 - Countries can watch the WWE Network debut of the Royal Rumble
  • 470,822 - Have attended the Royal Rumble, LIVE
  • 3 - Times Steve Austin won the Royal Rumble
  • :01 – Santino’s record low time in the Rumble
  • 62:12 - Rey Mysterio’s record length in the Rumble
  • 3:51:32 – Triple H’s time in all his Rumble matches combined, the most ever
  • #1 - Has the same amount of winners as #30 (no Benoit mentioned)

Los Matadores (w/ El Torito) vs. The Miz & Damien Mizdow:

The Miz and Mizdow team are scheduled to challenge Jimmy and Jey Uso for the Tag Team Titles at the Royal Rumble. Anyone else notice lately that the Matadores entrance has been cut down? No more long intro with the waving of the cape. Miz and Fernando start. Miz with a headlock and a shoulder tackle. Criss-cross (complete with Mizdow antics) ends with Diego taking Miz down with a head scissors, followed by a dropkick. Diego in with a somersault senton. Miz quickly recovers, clipping the knee and going to work like he’s a poor-man’s Ric Flair. Diego fights to his feet, only to get a dropkick to the knee. Mizdow teases a tag in, but Miz is a jerk. He signals for a Figure-Four, but Diego kicks him off. Fernando with the tag, coming off the ropes with twirling elbows. Whip and a one-man flapjack. Mizdow comes in, and phantom takes it, too. Miz throws Mizdow into the ropes, crotching Fernando. He shoves Torito off the apron into Diego, and finishes with the Skull Crushing Finale at 4:08. The gimmick has officially ran its course, by the way. The turn from Mizdow has to be coming any week now. *1/2 Fine match for what is basically Miz working handicap style against Los Matadores.

Natalya (w/ Paige) vs. Summer Rae:

This couldn’t be any worse than Summer Rae vs. Cameron from last weeks episode of Superstars, simply for Natalya’s involvement. Summer Rae gets the “during the break” introduction. With as many Divas as they have on the roster, I’m surprised there isn’t a Divas Tag Team Title… as if WWE could book that well, either. I only mention this because of the Tag Match set to take place at the Royal Rumble. Wow, three matches on Main Event and three are used to advertise the undercard? Get the hell out of here! Natalya with a quick roll up for two. They do an AWFUL cat fight sequence. Natalya bridges out of a pin attempt and takes Summer Rae over with a backslide for two. Natalya with a slingshot into an atomic drop, followed by a basement dropkick for two. Summer Rae slips out of a slam and pulls Nattie down by the hair. Summer Rae controls with a chinlock and slaps on an Indian Deathlock. Who the hell taught her that? Natalya escapes and quickly turns things over with the Sharpshooter for the tap out at 2:53. ˝* Practically a squash match.

- This past Monday Night on Raw, John Cena faced insurmountable odds against Kane, Seth Rollins, and the Big Show and earned back the jobs of Dolph Ziggler, Ryback, and Erick Rowan. Oh, but not without a helpful distraction from THE VIGILANTE STING. Post-match, a pissed off Brock Lesnar made his presence felt, by delivering an F5 to Kane and the Big Show while Seth Rollins ran away to save his own ass.

Jack Swagger vs. Bray Wyatt:

Swagger’s practically a JTTS, but nice to see a top-level worker (as far as card placement goes) like Bray Wyatt featured. Both men will be in the Royal Rumble Match. Lockup, with Swagger sending Wyatt into the corner. He takes him down with a waistlock, but doesn’t follow up. Wyatt with the bitch slap from hell and a headbutt. Whip to the ropes and Swagger with a shoulder tackle. They take it to the floor, with Wyatt ramming Swagger’s arm into the post, followed by his jumping senton splash. Back in the ring, Wyatt grabs a chinlock. Swagger fights free, only to get his head taken off with clothesline. He sets up for a charge, but Swagger clips the knee. Swagger with a big boot, followed by a charge to the corner. He connects with a big clothesline and comes off the second rope with the Swagger Bomb for two. Wyatt meets boot on a charge, but catches Swagger off the top rope with a shot to the throat. Swagger recovers, trips Wyatt up, and goes for the Patriot Lock. Wyatt kicks Swagger off and explodes off the ropes with his body tackle. Spider walk time, and Sister Abigail finishes at 5:30. ** Perfectly acceptable wrestling. Wyatt looks good going into the PPV, and Swagger gives a solid effort before laying down.

Final Thoughts: With less than a week to go for the 2015 Royal Rumble, this was a nice showcase of featured talent. The opener is a teaser for the Kickoff’s Six-Man Elimination Match (which, with time, should be great), Natalya and Paige are featured and face the Bella Twins, Miz and Mizdow get a warm-up match to give them “momentum” heading into the Title Match with the Uso Twins, and Bray Wyatt, one of the top second-tier names, is given a solid victory and is pushed hard on commentary. Sometimes WWE gets things right. Unfortunately, it’s on the C-Show.

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