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WWF @ Anaheim, CA
December 4, 1993

by Scrooge McSuck

- We’re in the Arrowhead Pond, a little under two weeks removed from the Survivor Series. We just sat through a show held at Madison Square Garden the week prior, so hopefully we’ll get some fresh content instead of some of the same recycled stuff. Looking at the non-spoiler list of matches, it’s a little bit of both.

Opening Match: Owen Hart vs. Johnny Polo:

I guess the WWF figured California wouldn’t know any better about Owen’s possible turn? We just saw him heel it up in a match against Marty Jannetty, and now he’s the clear cut babyface against a Manager? Hopefully he doesn’t job. Polo opens the match by immediately hiding in the corner. He goes for a wristlock, but Owen does his signature counter sequence. Owen with an atomic drop and back suplex, sending Polo to the floor to recover. Back inside, Owen works the arm. Whip to the ropes, Owen with a dropkick, followed by a takeover into the arm-bar. Polo uses Owen’s own momentum to send him through the ropes, to the floor. Back inside, Polo almost instantly goes to the chinlock. Owen with a surprise cradle for two, but Polo remains in control. Criss-cross sequence ends with a double headbutt. Polo misses a charge to the corner, allowing Owen to make the comeback. Whip to the ropes and a back drop, followed by the spinning heel kick for a two count. Enziguri of Doom gets two. Whip to the corner, but a charge meets boot. Polo hops off the second turnbuckle, gets caught by the legs, and the Sharpshooter finishes at 7:51. *1/2 This was alright, but perplexing. I know it’s only a house show, but how does Owen’s lackluster effort against a manager give fans any reason to accept him as a logical opponent for Bret?

Men on a Mission (w/ Oscar) vs. The Head Shrinkers:

(Mabel & Mo vs. Samu & Fatu)
Remember when I mentioned hoping for fresh content instead of the same recycled stuff? In this case, I’d rather see the 40th different Head Shrinkers/Smoking Gunns match than MOM. Hopefully it will be short. It always amazes me how into it the crowd gets for MOM. After a bit of stalling (and MOM mocking the Head Shrinkers’ pre-match ritual), Mo and Fatu start. Mo with a side headlock, followed by a shoulder tackle. Mo with a series of rights and another shoulder tackle, prompting Samu to headbutt some sense into his partner. Mo unwisely targets the head and eats a Super-Kick for his troubles. He manages to roll into his corner and tag out to Mabel, while Samu is in no rush to do the same. Fatu goes for a slam, and that’s obviously a no-go. Mabel counters by almost dropping Fatu on his head and crushing him in the corner with a pair of avalanches. Mo tags back in and instantly becomes your rapping face in peril. Find me a MOM match where it’s otherwise and win $50. Mo surprises Samu with a sunset flip, but he’s a human punching bag. Small package gets a two count. The Shrinkers with double pounding in the corner. Fatu with a pair of headbutts and a cheap shot to Mabel, suckering him in to open the door for some illegal double teaming. Fatu goes for a slam, but suddenly he’s selling the back. Mo’s not THAT fat. Mabel with the hot tag, and he throws a bunch of clotheslines. Whip to the ropes and a shoulder tackle to Fatu, followed by his spinning heel kick on Samu. They manage to clear Mabel out of the ring, lay out Mo with a double headbutt, and the top rope splash finishes at 13:29. I’m actually surprised Men on a Mission did such a clean job there. Post-match, Mabel lays both out, because Mo is a worthless pile. *1/4 Not much to this one, with tons of stalling and a lack of excitement until the final moments.

- Double J, Jeff Jarrett, comes out to agitate the crowd, since I’m sure most fans on the West Coast have zero idea who Jeff Jarrett is.

Doink (the Clown) (w/ Dink) vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (w/ Luna Vachon):

Yeah, they milked this angle for about 6-months, and it’s just a lame insta-feud! Last week, Doink was without a midget, and now he has Tiger Jackson under the paint as his mini-doppelganger. I’m assuming this is Ray Apollo as Doink, but for this week in question, Doink was working both tours, so maybe Lombardi was still under the paint here. Bigelow attacks before the bell, but Doink is all man and stands toe-to-toe with him. Bigelow comes off the ropes with a pair of shoulder tackles, but a third is countered with a belly-to-belly suplex. Yep, this has to be Ray Apollo. Doink with a single leg pick and a rear chinlock. Luna gets a cheap shot in, but Doink remains in control with a DDT. I spoke to soon, as he instantly misses a splash attempt. Dink sneaks in as the referee is distracted by Luna, helping Doink escape a front facelock. Doink’s comeback is short-lived, as he takes a dive over the top rope. Back inside, Doink comes off the ropes with a desperation clothesline. He lands a pair of headbutts to the midsection, but Bam Bam lands on top of a slam attempt for three… wait, that was two, I guess someone screwed up, and the fans let them know it. Bam Bam with the enziguri for two. Doink escapes a chinlock with a jaw-buster, but Bam Bam quickly retaliates with a dropkick. Bigelow with a long chinlock spot. Doink from out of nowhere with a back suplex, followed by a trio of clotheslines. His second slam attempt proves successful, and splash gets a two count. Bam Bam blocks a monkey flip attempt and rolls Doink up with his feet on the ropes for the three count at 9:33. Dink tries to alert the referee of the wrong-doing, but he’ll hear nothing of it. For the second night in a week, we get to see Doink trip up Luna as Bam Bam accidentally hits her with the beadbutt in an unrealistic spot. ** This was… alright. Started off hot and had a couple of good comeback spots, but it slowed down considerably, had the awful mid-match blunder, and ended on a weak note.

Lex Luger vs. Ludvig Borga:

Please… be… short. For those unfamiliar, Borga is the flavor of the month when it comes to foreign menaces, running down the USA for being destitute and run amuck with pollution. Lex Luger is “Made in the USA”, so INSTA-FEUD! Pre-match stipulations force Luger to wear a pad over his loaded forearm, because he likes to cheat. Borga attempts a sneak attack, but Luger avoids it and casually plants him with a slam. We follow with a ton of stalling. Borga takes control pounding the ribs. Luger’s selling is so loud you can hear him in the upper-deck. If that doesn’t excite you, then how about some choking? Luger with clotheslines and a slam, followed by the jumping elbow drop for a two count. Luger with punching, Borga with punching, that’s the whole match. Borga with a diving clothesline for two. Top rope clothesline gets two. Borga continues to rely on the same two moves, so Luger is all “fuck this” rips off the pad, and KO’s Borga with the forearm for the three count at 8:33. To further add to the pile of suck, they play Borga’s music as Luger celebrates his tainted victory. -* Someone should’ve pulled the fire alarm to save the crowd from watching this disaster.

Marty Jannetty vs. Bastion Booger:

This must be right after intermission. I don’t think anything left on the card could touch how awful Luger vs. Borga turned out to be. Jannetty avoids a sneak attack and comes off the ropes with a body press for a quick two count. He goes for the arm, but Booger quickly picks at the ropes. Booger calls for a test-of-strength, and to my surprise, it’s Jannetty who takes advantage of the situation and works the arm. Jannetty with a pair of dropkicks, trapping Booger in the ropes a la Andre the Giant. Booger reverses a whip to the corner and follows in with an avalanche. He pounds on the back as I’m quickly drained of any excitement. All hope is lost as we get a bearhug spot. Jannetty FINALLY escapes, with a hip toss of all moves, but misses an elbow drop. Booger follows up by missing a leg drop. Whip to the ropes and Jannetty with a diving elbow for two. Whip is reversed and Booger knocks Jannetty out of the ring with a shoulder tackle. Jannetty slips back in between the legs and hits the Super-Kick. He heads to the top rope, but misses a body press. Booger with the splash, and it gets three at 7:58. Who did Jannetty piss off? DUD This one sucked, too.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The Quebecers © (w/ Johnny Polo) vs. The Steiner Brothers:

(Jacques & Pierre vs. Rick & Scott Steiner)
Even on their worst night, this combination should be a much better match than the last two turds. I’m going to go out there and predict the finish: Frankensteiner to Pierre, Jacques attacks the referee for the DQ, and the Steiners stupidly celebrate with the belts regardless. Scott and Pierre start. Scott with a takedown, protested by Jacques as cheating. Pierre with knees in the corner, but Scott blocks a hip toss and counters with his own. Whip to the ropes and Scott with the double underhook slam for two. Jacques tags in to try his luck with Rick. Jacques goes for a leap frog, but Rick counters with a Powerslam. Jacques with a slam and Pierre comes off the top with a double fist. Rick counters his second attempt with a slam, sending him to the floor to have a pow-wow. Back in the ring, the Steiners take turns working the left arm. The Quebecers have several situations with miscommunication, but finally, on the third attempt, Pierre is able to lay out Scott and save Jacques from a pinning predicament.

Pierre with the tag rope to choke Scott down behind the back of the referee. Whip to the ropes and the Quebecers with a double stun-gun for a two. Whip to the ropes, double boot and hair snap, followed by the slam across the chest for another two count. Jacques back drops Pierre across the chest for two. Pierre with the sit-down splash across the back, but a second attempt is countered with a back drop. I feel like this is, move for move, the same as the November 27th show in MSG. Jacques tags in and hits the diving elbow for two. They hit their version of the Double Goozle for another two count. Jacques with a seated chinlock as the referee plays dumb to their illegal switching. Jacques with a piledriver, followed by a cheap shot to Rick. They go for the Tower of Quebec, but to no surprise, Scott rolls away. Scott with a double clothesline and it’s time for the hot tag to Rick, clotheslines for both, followed by press slamming Jacques onto Pierre. Polo gets in the ring and has his clock cleaned, too. Pierre hops off the top rope into the waiting arms of a Rick Steiner belly-to-belly suplex. Whip to the ropes, Scott with the Frankensteiner, but Jacques tackles the referee to draw the DQ at 11:28. *** Still a good match, but I definitely had less enjoyment out of it because I literally watched the same match, move for move, on another show.

Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. “Double J” Jeff Jarrett:

Jarrett’s over-extravagant (and tacky) ring attire is like some kind of demented looking peacock. Did I mention the Big Boss Man is the special referee for this match? That’s just weird to know, since he hasn’t been on WWF TV since the end of February, and actually jumped to WCW less than two weeks after this show. Special referee circumstances usually leads to dialed in performances, and it is Bret Hart after all, so… you know. As soon as the bell rings, my disc starts acting up. Thankfully it clears up, and all I missed was 2-minutes of stalling. I am not exaggerating when I say the first 10-minutes is minor arm-work and Boss Man interjecting himself in the action as often as he can. Jarrett surprises Bret with a knee to the midsection, followed by a dropkick. We waste more time (about 3-minutes) with a chinlock. Bret finally escapes, only to be caught in a sleeper. Bret escapes again, but uses his own momentum to get thrown to the floor. Sunset flip into the ring gets two, then back to the Double J Chinlock™. Bret avoids a dropkick, and now it’s time to turn it up a notch. He connects with the inverted atomic drop and snap suplex for two. Piledriver and Russian leg sweep get near falls, but the second rope elbow is countered with a boot to the face. Whip to the ropes, Jarrett accidentally collides with the Boss Man, and Bret takes him down with a bridging back suplex for three at 17:50. * The unfortunate truth of watching fan-cam shows is knowing that Bret will half-ass it unless under special circumstances, but you still hold out hope it doesn’t happen. Unless the A/C was broken, I doubt he even broke a sweat.

Final Thoughts: Nothing much to this show, despite what looked like a decent lineup. The Steiners vs. Quebecers is the only match of quality, but unfortunately, having seen a lot of these fan-cam shows, I’ve seen them work the same match, move for move, several times to the point I could probably call the match myself without watching it. Bret and Jarrett really stunk it up in the Main Event, and Luger vs. Borga was even worse, but expected. The rest of the show is just an underwhelming collection of filler, and wastes people like Owen Hart and Marty Jannetty in matches with little hope of being good or making sense from a creative point of view. No need to give this a look if you’re in the market for fan cams.

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