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WWF Sunday Night Heat- August 23, 1998
by Scrooge McSuck
- Last week on Sunday Night Heat, The Undertaker and Stone Cold Steve Austin made token appearances to make Sunday Night Heat look equal to Monday Night Raw, Kane and Mankind retained the Tag Straps against LOD 2000 v.2, Gangrel made a lackluster debut despite having an awesome entrance, Brian Christopher still sucks, and X-Pac/Double J are on a collision course to have their hair cut.
- Jim Ross, Shane McMahon, "and Friend" are at the broadcast position to call all the action, unless otherwise noted. Just to give a quick remark on Shane's "friends": They almost never say anything, so they don't bring down the commentary. They're usually just a tool for Shane to work in some kind of humor, but he's not very good at it.
The Oddities (w/ Luna & Giant Silva) vs. Southern Justice:
(Kurrgan & Golga vs. Mark Cantebury & Dennis Knight)
Wow, I didn't think I could see a worse match than Headbangers vs. Godwinns/S.J., but Oddities vs. anyone is going to win that award. Kurrgan with some dancin' to start, but Knight disaproves and slaps the taste out of his mouth. They fight over a wristlock, but not too hard. Whip and Kurrgan lays him out with a clothesline. Golga tags in as J.R. suggests the lumps under his mask are deformity. I never noticed them until just now. He works in some shoulder tackles, complete with loud Earthquake-sounding grunts. He no-sells being rammed to the turnbuckle and pounds away. Cantebury comes in and takes him over with a suplex for two. Dustin Runnels is still roaming the crowds, much like last week. "He's Coming Back." Golga continues to play face-in-peril as EVERYTHING is talked about, except this match. The Rock will be addressing Triple H, Sable and a Mystery Partner faces Sable and Marc Mero at SummerSlam, etc. etc. The Vertical Splash MISSES. Earthquake never missed that. Cantebury with the Former-Slop Drop, and now heck breaks loose. Luna gets involved and attacks Cantebury, and here comes Double J to cut some hair, but Silva scares him off and chokeslam's Cantebury to Oddityville. Call it a Disqualification victory for Southern Justice at 4:09. Match wasn't too bad, and that's the best we can hope for. I don't quite get the love for Double J and Southern Justice, to be featured repeatedly on every episode of Heat (so far).
WWF European Championship Match:
D'Lo Brown © vs. Road Warrior Animal:
I guess not earning a title shot for the Tag Team Titles and taking the pinfall was enough for Animal to earn a European Title shot. Hawk suddenly appears at ringside, acting a bit... in no condition to be at ringside. Hawk's personal problems continue! What sack of shit green lighted this angle? Mark Henry comes to ringside, attacks Hawk from behind, and splashes him on the floor. Henry helps work over Animal, and Brown comes off the top with the Lo' Down. Suddenly, Droz makes his token Heat appearance, chasing the Nation members off with a steel chair. Call it a No Contest, as the match never officially starts. Maybe Animal can challenge for the Light-Heavyweight Title next week.
- Video package highlighting the Brawl For All. I know this has been referenced here and there over the last few weeks, but for those who don't get it or don't understand what "Brawl For All" was, it was basically designed to be a Toughman competition that also incorporated amateur wrestling, and was a tool to give guys, mostly the unused midcarders, something to do and/or to prove themselves in some kind of prick waving contest. Dr. Death Steve Williams, a well known tough guy, was expected to cake-walk through, but since the first round(s) weren't rigged, Bart Gunn surprised everyone by knocking Williams down and out, the latter quite literally: The knockdown injured Williams, taking him out of action for months, and killing any hopes of a main event push.
The Headbangers vs. Dan Severn & Owen Hart:
I'm hoping to high Heaven that I won't have to watch a Headbangers match (practically) every week in these reviews. Severn and Owen finally, officially, revealed their alliance, so now Owen not only is on-and-off representing the Nation of Domination, but he's also working along with Severn. Too much is sometimes TOO MUCH. Owen starts with Thrasher. Criss-cross, Thrasher with arm drags and a dropkick. Severn with a waist-lock takedown. Thrasher responds with a hip toss, and Mosh comes in to work the arm. He goes for the leg and rams the knee to the canvas. Owen gets a blind tag and connects with his signature heel kick. Owen sends him to the corner, but crotches himself going for... something. I don't know, monkey flip? Mosh tags in and takes Owen over with a back drop. Mosh with a slam and a cheap shot to Severn. Whip to the ropes, and Mosh with a powerslam for two. Severn and Thrasher get involved, so you know the end is near. Owen grabs a Dragon Sleeper on Mosh, and it's all over at 3:51. This was OK, I guess. These tag matches being so short and building zero heat for hot tags does get old, however.
- Intercontinental Champion The Rock comes out with a Ladder, channeling his inner Shawn Michaels, cutting a promo on Triple H, hyping their SummerSlam Championship Match. Last week on Raw, Rock and the rest of the Nation put a hurt on Hunter, busting him up with "internal injuries." I guess the Rock is going to have to face Chyna one-on-one in the ring on the next episode of Monday Night Raw. RATINGS! Actually, maybe it was...
Scorpio vs. TAKA Michinoku (Light-Heavyweight Champion) (w/ Yamaguchi-San):
Non-Title Match, I hope. Scorpio may be high-flying, but he's nowhere near in decent enough shape to pass off as someone under 220 pounds. It wasn't too long before this he FINALLY ditched the Flash Funk name, but he still wasn't allowed the 2/Too Cold part. Just Scorpio, and no ring entrance, so TAKA might win a match. TAKA has ditched his tights in favor of the "just came from the Gym" look Kaientai was rocking at the time. They start by exchanging wristlocks. Whip to the ropes, Scorpio with a shoulder tackle. TAKA ducks a clothesline and sends him to the floor with a heel kick. TAKA follows, and connects with an Asai Moonsault. Scorpio avoids outside interference, then talks turkey with Mrs. Yamaguchi. Back inside, Scorpio with a splash in the corner, followed by a Powerbomb. Scorpio with his version of Sweet Chin Music and a lame version of a Death Valley Driver. Scorpio barely hits a Moonsault, but the referee gets distracted by Mr. and Mrs. Yamaguchi, and TAKA finishes him with the Michinoku Driver a 2:33. TAKA celebrates by giving the signal of "pee pee choppy choppy." Suddenly Val Venis makes his way out on the ramp to throw threats at TAKA. I guess they will be going one-on-one tomorrow night on Monday Night Raw.
- We recap Monday Night Raw, and the ongoing saga between Steve Austin and the Undertaker. This time, it's Kane (allegedly) dressed as The Undertaker, putting a hurting on Austin. I only say allegedly because while I have a decent quality video of these shows, I can't see "Undertaker"s arms well enough to tell if he just has doodles on his arms or real tattoos. Anyway, Austin throws him into the back of a hearse, which happens to be driven away by... The Undertaker. ZUH?! Well, SummerSlam is only a week away now, and we're finally going to get the one-on-one match between these two Titans. (Fun Tidbit: I did a pretty good recreation of the poster art for what I believe was 7th grade Art Class. There's your pointless Scrooge Tidbit of the Week.)
Darren Drozdov vs. "Double J" Jeff Jarrett:
After several weeks of build-up, we're finally getting the big match between Droz and Double J. We've only got a few minutes left, so I'm going to guess X-Pac will do a run-in. Droz bum-rushes the ring and starts getting pounded on. Jarrett with the Stroke, and if this were 2002, it would be all over and fans would be pissed off, but it's 1998, so it's a weak transition move used on a curtain jerker. Whip to the ropes, Droz ducks an elbow, and hits a diving elbow of his own. He sends Jarrett to the floor with a clothesline, and gets pulled out for a slugfest. Droz eats post and here comes X-Pac to lay Jarrett out with spinning heel kick. Droz helps hold Jarrett down as X-Pac takes a bit of hair off before Southern Justice makes the save. Oh, Disqualification victory for Jarrett at 1:35. Tune in for Monday Night Raw, tomorrow night.
Final Thoughts: The wrestling this week was actually the worst collectively in the short history of Sunday Night Heat. The opening tag was what you would expect, TAKA vs. Scorpio was two-minutes of spots with a lame finish, D'Lo/Animal never started and furthered a head-hanging bad angle, Droz/Double J barely got going to further another really lame, thrown-together angle, and the Headbangers were once again featured. The Rock's promo hyping SummerSlam was probably the best segment on the show, but other than that, a lot of hype for the next night's Raw.
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