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Coliseum Video Presents - Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake

by Scrooge McSuck

- Welcome to another of the totally random “Superstar specific” Coliseum Videos from late 1987/early 1988. Unlike George Steele or Ken Patera, Brutus Beefcake was at least over with a good portion of the crowd, and was a slightly better worker (that is until he came back in the mid 90’s and was just a car wreck to watch every night). Unfortunately, I have a hard time remembering anything he did from 1987, so maybe this tape will help us remember...

- “Mean” Gene Okerlund is our host. He reminds us of what a despicable person Beefcake used to be, managed by Johnny Valiant, teaming with Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, and breaking the leg of Hillbilly Jim. You could call him a babyface for that act. We throw it to a montage of Beefcake putting people to sleep and cutting their hair.

- From an episode of Tuesday Night Titans, Johnny Valiant presents his newest protégé… do I have to tell everyone it’s Brutus Beefcake? I guess he’s supposed to be a heart-throb of some kind. It was the early 80’s, so maybe standards were much lower back then.

WWF Heavyweight Championship Match:
Hulk Hogan © vs. Brutus Beefcake (w/ Johnny Valiant):

From the August 17th, 1985 card held at the Capital Centre in Baltimore, MD. I’m more than positive this match has made appearances on a couple of other Coliseum Videos (a quick look says it was on Hulkamania 2, but that’s all). Lockup, and Beefcake shoves Hogan to the corner. They tease a lockup, but Beefcake struts away and poses. That dastardly villain! They do it again, this time with Hogan doing the strutting, and the crowd goes nuts. Whip to the corner, Hogan follows in with a clothesline. He connects with an atomic drop, sending Beefcake to the floor. Back inside, Beefcake pounds on Hogan with forearms. He tries sending Hogan to the buckle, but ends up tasting turnbuckle instead. Hogan with the standard babyface offense of choking, followed by a back breaker for a two count. Whip to the corner is reversed, and Beefcake connects with a clothesline. They take it to the floor, with Hogan being sent to the post after a failed atomic drop attempt. Back in the ring, Beefcake connects with knee drops for two. Powerslam for another two count. Whip to the ropes, and Beefcake grabs a bearhug. Not exactly a thrilling hold from a 240-pounder. Our friends at Coliseum Video thankfully clip it to Hogan’s comeback. Hogan breaks free and lays Beefcake out with a clothesline. Whip to the ropes, big boot and a slam. Hogan hits the leg drop, but goes after Johnny Valiant. We get heel miscommunication and a school boy finishes Beefcake at 11:00. See, that’s a finish that’s been around forever… and it always sucked. *1/2 Surprisingly decent, for Beefcake/Hogan that is. Remember, these two put on a DUD turd on PPV a decade later that makes this look like Savage vs. Steamboat.

- We get short highlights from a match between the Dream Team and British Bulldogs from Championship Wrestling, and then the finish from their match at WrestleMania 2. Unfortunately, the best spot of the match (Dynamite Kid being knocked from the top rope, to the floor) was missed by the camera crew.

- Clips from a Superstars of Wrestling 6-Man Tag Match where Adrian Adonis, through some form of retarded behavior, “accidentally” cut the hair of Brutus Beefcake, sending Beefcake into a mental breakdown. We follow that with clips of the Dream Team vs. The Rougeau Brothers at WrestleMania III, where Valentine, Valiant, and newcomer Dino Bravo ditched Beefcake for being a loser. Later in the night, Roddy Piper defeated Adrian Adonis in a Hair vs. Hair Match, and Beefcake returned, solidifying his babyface turn by doing the honors of shaving Adonis’ head. This was supposed to lead to a house show program between the two, but Adonis was fired a month later for probably being a pain in the ass and even more out of shape.

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. Johnny Valiant:

From the May 2nd, 1987 card held at the Boston Garden. This match has probably been recycled a lot too, as I recall it being on a couple of episodes of Prime Time Wrestling, and is featured on Best of the WWF Vol. 12. Valiant’s hair looks like it’s been cut a few times, already. Valiant with a “Pearl Harbor job” to start, choking Beefcake down in the corner. He rakes the eyes across the top rope and plants him with a slam. Beefcake retaliates, slamming Valiant repeatedly face-first to the canvas. Beefcake with his own slam, followed by a second rope axehandle. “The Beefer” drops ass across the chest and rams Valiant to the buckle 10-times. Beefcake with an atomic drop, elbow off the second rope, and the Sleeper finishes at 3:25. Post-match, Beefcake trims a little bit of hair and gives him an orange Mohawk. DUD Nothing to this one, but the crowd loved it.

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart):

The Dream Team Explodes! Taped on November 17th, 1987 from Des Moines, IA, and featured on the November 28th broadcast of Superstars of Wrestling. I see we’ll be jumping back and forth throughout 1987. Valentine attacks before the bell with elbows and forearms. Beefcake mounts a comeback, sends Valentine to the corner, and nails him with a clothesline. Beefcake with a scoop slam. He sends the Hammer to the corner, and lays him out with a big chop. Brutus with another slam, but an elbow drop misses. Valentine comes off the ropes with an elbow, followed by a back breaker. He climbs to the top rope, only to get slammed off. Valentine begs for mercy, but Beefcake continues to punish him. Whip to the ropes, Beefcake sets too early for a back drop and gets an elbow to the back of the head. Valentine goes for the Figure-Four, but Beefcake kicks him off. Meanwhile, Jimmy Hart keeps going for Beefcake’s hair-styling equipment. They trade blows and take turns throwing the referee around. Beefcake applies the Sleeper Hold, but the referee is still dead. Hart attempts to commit murder, but Beefcake scares the hedge clippers from his hands. Valentine with a snapmare, and he has the Figure-Four applied! Still no referee. Beefcake desperately crawls for the scissors, and finally the bell rings at 6:12, the result being a Double Disqualification. ** Fun TV match. These two had decent chemistry from all the matches I’ve seen between them. Beefcake continues selling the leg like it’s broken.

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. The Honkytonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart):

Honky is the reigning Intercontinental Champion, but this is a Non-Title Match. Taped on October 7th, 1987 from Green Bay, WI, and featured on the November 1st broadcast of Wrestling Challenge. They taunt each other to begin things. Beefcake pounds away with rights as we get an inset promo from “Dangerous” Danny Davis. Beefcake with a series of atomic drops, sending Honky to the floor. Beefcake follows him out and gives him a 4th atomic drop. Back in the ring, Beefcake with a shoulder to the midsection and a sunset flip for two. Whip to the corner, but Beefcake misses a charge. Honky with a slam, but a dive from the second rope is greeted with a fist to the midsection. Whip to the ropes, SLEEPER HOLD APPLIED, but Jimmy Hart runs in for the DQ at 2:05. Beefcake applies the sleeper to him, then goes back to knocking Honky silly. He goes to give Jimmy Hart a haircut, but Danny Davis runs in to make the save. Beefcake would give Hart the full treatment a few months later at WrestleMania IV. Fun for what it was, but too short to give a proper rating.

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. “Dangerous” Danny Davis (w/ Jimmy Hart):

Taped on October 28th, 1987 from Rochester, NY, and featured on the November 22nd episode of Wrestling Challenge. That’s some decent continuity. Is it me, or did the angle with Johnny Valiant casually transfer to working with all of Jimmy Hart’s men? We’re only days away from the 1st Survivor Series, and both men are on opposite teams. Lockup into the corner, and Davis gives a cheap shot to the eyes. Beefcake shrugs off his offense and pounds away. He plants Davis with a slam as Sam Houston cuts an inset promo on Davis. Davis goes to the eyes again. Whip to the corner is reversed, and Beefcake mounts him… for more punching. He sends Davis across the ring with a hip toss and rams him face-first to the buckle. Davis gets tossed over the top rope as the squash continues. Beefcake brings him back in the ring with a slingshot and hooks the Sleeper Hold. Hart tries to interfere, but Beefcake throws him off the top rope onto Davis, and covers for three at 3:56. ½* Just Beefcake squashing Davis for a few minutes. Post-match, Beefcake puts Hart in the Sleeper Hold and kicks Davis to the floor. Before he can do some cutting, Davis hauls him away from the ring area.

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. “Million $ Man” Ted Dibiase (w/ Virgil):

From the September 12th, 1987 card held at the Boston Garden. This is one of Dibiase’s earliest matches under the Million Dollar Man gimmick, and the fans pelt him with trash to show just how much heel heat the gimmick was generating. Dibiase offers him $500 to take a walk, but Beefcake chooses to punch him instead and hands it out to the fans. RIOT! Dibiase bum rushes and gets taken over with a back drop. Beefcake with rights, followed by an elbow, sending Dibiase to the floor. Beefcake escapes a slam attempt and goes for the Sleeper, but Dibiase escapes to the floor. Dibiase with a knee to the midsection, followed by rights. Whip to the corner is reversed and Beefcake takes him over with another back drop. Dibiase takes control with a cheap shot in the corner. Whip to the ropes and a hard elbow to the chest. Dibiase with a snapmare, followed by his signature fist drop. Second rope elbow gets a two count. Whip to the ropes, and a surprise small package from Beefcake gets two. Dibiase regains control and slows things down with a chinlock. Beefcake fights free, but runs into a knee. Dibiase comes off the second rope again, but this time takes a fist to the midsection. Beefcake with a flurry of rights. He plants Dibiase with a slam and stomps down on the chest. Beefcake with a shoulder tackle, but a second attempt is interrupted by Virgil, allowing Dibiase to roll him up for the three count at 9:05. Post-match, Beefcake cleans Dibiase’s clock, but fails to give him a haircut. **1/2 Decent wrestling, but the heat was off the charts for a midcard match. If you think commentary today is terrible, listen to Pete Doherty. You’ll be BEGGING for “Maggle” Cole and JBL having Vince McMahon feeding them lines for three hours.

- Highlights of Brutus Beefcake visiting Sal Fodera, World Champion Hair Stylist. Short and simple, Fodera shows him how to style hair, but Beefcake prefers to do things wildly. Beefcake is presented with a diploma, which allows him to cut hair anywhere in the world… as long as it’s inside of a wrestling ring. Pointless filler.

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Johnny Valiant):

Taped on May 13th, 1987 from San Diego, CA, and featured on the May 24th episode of Wrestling Challenge. Valiant’s hair looks terrible, and Bravo actually looks capable of movement. Two years later, he was twice as big and 500 times slower. Lockup into the ropes, Beefcake blocks a cheap shot and nails Bravo with a right. Bravo attempts an atomic drop, but Beefcake counters with his own. Beefcake with a hip toss and slam, sending the Canadian strong-man to the floor in frustration. Bravo takes control with a helpful hand full of hair and takes Beefcake over with a gutwrench suplex. Bravo with a slam and jumping elbow drop, but he refuses to go for a cover. Bravo with the side slam as we get an inset promo from the Rougeau Brothers. Beefcake rolls away from an elbow drop, sends Bravo to the corner, and lays him out with a clothesline. Beefcake with an inverted atomic drop followed by a back drop. Valiant gets knocked off the apron and Beefcake slaps the Sleeper on Bravo, but Greg Valentine runs in for the DQ at 3:48. They work Beefcake over and Valentine applies the Figure-Four until the Rougeau Brothers make the save. *1/2 Another decent TV match, but another lame finish.

Brutus Beefcake & The Rougeau Brothers vs. Iron Mike Sharpe, Jimmy Jack Funk, Johnny K-9:

Taped on June 2nd, 1987 from Buffalo, NY, and featured on the June 27th episode of Superstars of Wrestling. What a collection of jobbers: a guy who allegedly had his eye nearly ripped out by Haku, an obsessive compulsive cleaner, and a scumbag who murdered people and bombed a Police station. Beefcake and Funk start… and within 30-seconds, blow a spot in spectacular fashion. Whip to the ropes and Beefcake knocks him silly with a clothesline. Sharpe tags in and gets thrown around by Beefcake. K-9 tags in and Raymond nails him with a dropkick. Rougeaus with a double team dropkick and Jacques with a splash for two. Jacques gets worked over for a brief moment before making the hot tag to Beefcake. He plants K-9 with a press slam, knocks him into Jacques with an atomic drop, and La Bombe de Rougeau finishes at 3:04. Sharpe ends up getting triple teamed and has a small puff of hair clipped off. Just a squash match. Odd way to end the tape.

Final Thoughts: A decent waste of 85-minutes. There’s nothing spectacular, but everything is either surprisingly good or short enough that it never has time to really stink. The major downside is that considering this is a Coliseum Video tape, there’s way too many matches recycled from free TV. I don’t mind using stuff from televised house shows, but when half the tape is recycled from episode of Superstars and Challenge, it makes the whole thing less special. I can’t give this much of a recommendation, but in the era of tapes dedicated to losers like George Steele and Ken Patera, this looks like a winner by comparison.

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