USWA Challenge - September 2, 1989
by Scrooge McSuck
- Last week on USWA Challenge, Eric Embry defeated Cactus Jack Manson in 12-seconds in a match where the loser had to leave the USWA, just a week after beating him in 9-seconds for the Texas Heavyweight Championship (or whatever it was called), meaning poor Cactus lost twice to the same guy in a combined 21-seconds. How humiliating.
- Marc Lowrance and Frank Dusek are at ringside to call all the action. We're going to see the big clash between Chris Adams and P.Y. Chu-Hi, as well as Kerry Von Erich taking on Tauras Bulba, Billy Joe Travis will be in action, and we're going to hear from Jerry "The King" Lawler, who's too busy to do anyhing other than film a bunch of interviews in a long take.
Billy Joe Travis vs. The Dog of War:
I'm not 100% sure, but I think Dog of War is a member of Devastation Inc. They start with a shoving match. Lockup into the corner, and Dog with a cheap shot. They go at it again, and Travis returns the favor, then wags a finger inb disgust. HE'S A BABYFACE! Travis works the arm, and catches the Dog off the ropes with an elbow. Snapmare from Travis, and he settles into a rear chinlock. Travis teases an elbow to the face, but he opts against it... because he's a babyface. Travis scoops up the DoW and plants him with a side suplex for a two count. I'm sure Dog of War has a true name, and after some searching, I've found Buster Fowler, and he passed away in 2007. Whip to the ropes, and Travis with a shoulder tackle, followed by an arm drag. Gary Young and Skandor Akbar make their way to ringside, no doubt as support. Fowler comes off the top with a sledge, then stomps away. Fowler continues to control, doing the bare minimum of effort. Travis fights back with rights, as Eric Embry makes his way to ringside. That explains the crowd going wild. Travis with a slam into the corner, and Travis with a second rope splash for the three count at 5:35. That looked pretty bad, especially since he only weighs 180 pounds, soaking wet. Devastation Inc. has been foiled again!
- The Punisher is standing by with some words from the dressing room... and yes, that is Mark Calaway, otherwise known as The Undertaker. He's talking about getting an offer from Skandor Akbar worth $100,000 to take care of Eric Embry. He's coming to take out Embry, and his buddies Kerry Von Erich and Jeff Jarrett, among others.
- Marc Lowarance is joined at ringside by Skandor Akbar and "Gorgeous" Gary Young. Sooner or later, Eric Embry's luck is going to run out, and he's got all the money in the world to make sure he's standing tall at the end. Cactus Jack might be gone, but he's still got Gary Young to fill that void.
- Jerry "The King" Lawler is standing by, with more words... for Eric Embry? He's telling Embry he's not worthy enough to challenge for his WORLD Championship.
"Gentleman" Chris Adams vs. P.Y. Chu'i (w/ Tojo Yamamoto):
It's time for Adams to get his revenge against Chu'i and Yamamoto for what they did to his wife two weeks ago. I guess I've been spelling Chu'i wrong the whole time, since this is the prefered spelling on the USWA graphic. We waste time with Yamamoto throwing the ceremonial salt at all four corners, warding off evil spirits. Adams comes out to Tom Petty's "Won't Back Down." Adams comes in and attacks before the bell, throwing lefts and rights. Adams nails the referee, then nails Yamamoto with a kick to the chest, and a kendo stick across the back. Adams uses the stick on Chu'i and Yamamoto, breaking it over the head of Chu'i. Gary Young runs in to finally gwet Adams down, and then he nails the poor referee. Chu'i and Young clothesline Adams with the kendo stick, and they continue to punish him with it. Yamamoto mouths off to Adams and bitch slaps him until Eric Embry and Matt Borne run in to make the save. Well, the match never really took place, with the bell sounding seconds after it started. Technically it should be a DQ victory for Chu'i, but we don't get any announcement.
- Percy Pringle III talks about Jerry "The King" Lawler. He questions why he defends the belt everywhere except at the Sportatorium in Dallas, TX. He wants Lawler to give Embry a title shot, incase you couldn't come to that conclusion.
- The Door is Open! Marc Lowrance talks about the open door policy they have, and showcases some stars we'll be seeing in the Sportatorium. We see clips set to Kiss' "Rock N' Roll All Night", among other songs I couldn't identify off the top of my head. Clips include footage featuring the Rock N' Roll Express, The Master of Pain (Mark Calaway) and Ronnie P. Gossett IV, "Superstar" Bill Dundee, The Wildside (tag team, don't know them), Dustin Rhodes, Black Bart & Dirty White Boy, Dutch Mantel, and the Blackbirds (clips set to Michael Jackson's "Bad."), a tag team consisting of Iceman Parsons and Perry Jackson.
Kerry Von Erich vs. Taurus Bulba (w/ Skandor Akbar):
For those who forgot, Von Erich's nickname was "The Modern Day Warrior." Bulba is yet another member of Devastation Inc, for those with a short-term memory. I guess this was a Falls Count Anywhere Match. We shall see if that actually comes into effect later in the match. Lockup, and Bulba has the strength advantage, probably because he's fat. Lockup again, and Von Erich shoves Bulba to his butt. OK, so maybe Bulba is screwed. Von Erich with an arm drag, and he quickly takes it to the floor, and pounds away with rights. Bulba tastes the post, and Von Erich follows with a discuss punch. Bulba takes control with a series of short-range headbutts on the floor, but the referee is out of position to make a count. Von Erich drags Bulba through the crowd and tosses him out the door. Bulba rushes back to the ring area, and they slug it out some more. Back in the ring, and the crowd chants for the Claw. Bulba nails Von Erich with a big right, and puts the boots to him. We take a commercial, and return with Bulba no-selling a chair shot. Von Erich continues pounding away, but Bulba counters the claw with a rake of the eyes. Bulba with more headbutts, but he goes for it once too many times, and rams himself into the ring post. Back inside, and Taurus slaps on his own form of the Claw! BLASPHEMY! Von Erich manages to hang on, despite Bulba having the hold applied for a good two minutes. Bulba pins Von Erich down, and gets the three count at 8:39?! Are you serious?! Bulba keeps the hold applied as the ring announcer declares Bulba the victor, via the iron claw. There's blood on the canvas, allegedly from the face of Von Erich. Finally, Jimmy Jack Funk and Matt Borne make the save. I guess Borne was getting a good work out that night, running in so many times. They bandage up Von Erich moments later, and I guess he did blade. He does a stetcher job, for extra effect. Not too shabby of a brawl, and damn if I didn't expect Von Erich to job to that. I guess the show ran short, because we replay the last couple of minutes again, to fill out the rest of the broadcast.
Final Thoughts: Entertaining episode, mostly. The opener was the usual garbage you would expect from undercard filler, but the on-going saga between Chris Adams and Devastation Inc. was nice and intense, and rightfully so, and the main event, while not anything to write home about, delivered to the low expectactions brought, and had a pretty surprising finish. Not too much in terms of filler, otherwise. Promos hyping a potential program between Lawler and Eric Embry, more people wanting to join Devastation Inc., and hey, maybe the Rock & Roll Express will appear on one of these shows. OK, maybe not.
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