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Tuesday, April 25th 2017.
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WCCW- May 7, 1983
by erick von erich

As the show opens in the WWE 24/7 studio, Kevin Von Erich and Michael Hayes do their usual reminiscing. This time, they pump up the soon-to-be-departing Arman Hussein, then talk about this week's main event: a Penalty Box match. Hayes then arrogantly states that this was the beginning of the modern handicap match. Not exactly correct... because, as we'll see, it's more of a pre-cursor to stuff like "RAW Bowl" (or even some penalty box matches that WCW ran between the Filthy Animals and the Revolution, circa December 1999. Ha!)

The original 1983 episode cues up with the usual intro. I haven't been noting the intro, but it still features Bugsy McGraw diving off the top turnbuckle and Kerry Von Erich wrestling Bill Irwin. I'm pretty sure they'll be changing those out, soon. Anyways, Mercer plugs tonight's card and his preview is accompanied by some swanky disco music and video clips of the participants in the Main Event. But with so much going on in World Class Championship Wrestling, let's get down to ringside for...

Match 1: Tola Yatsu (w/Arman Hussein) vs. Kimala (w/Friday and Skandar Akbar)
In the pre-show 24/7 stuff, Hayes and Von Erich took to calling Yatsu "Tora". As mentioned, this is almost the end for Hussein's troops, as Devastation, Inc is taking over as the heels du jour. Ring announcer Marc Lowrance introduces Kimala, mentioning that he'll be entering "from this cage, outside the Sportarium doors". Kimala actually gets a big pop from the crowd once he's in the ring and officially introduced. Mercer then makes a note of his "awesome physique". Yeahhhhh... I don't think that was a good choice of words. Match begins right before the bell as Kimala chops, chokes and clubbers away at Yatsu. Hussein keeps blowing his whistle, which soon intrigues Kimala as he wanders out to investigate. Kimala hops back in the ring to deliver a double-chop to Yatsu's throat. Kimala exits the ring again to go after Hussein's whistle. Kimala steps back in, over the top rope and pummels Yatsu some more. Kimala pulls Hussein into the ring and finally grabs the whistle. Hussein gets splashed --twice-- for his troubles. Yatsu gets his kendo stick and tries to attack Kimala to the tune of "no-sell". It's a double disqualification,, but Kimala loses it and begins tossing eveveryone: Hussein, Yatsu, the referee and even Friday! Skandar Akbar finally enters the ring and gets Kimala to calm down.

A Very Special Interview at Skandar Akbar's Office
Included just to let us know that Devastation, Inc is a stable of bad guys. Akbar is flanked by his bodyguard, the Mongol, and proclaims that Devastation is out to "eliminate that dog, Arman Hussein and all associated with him". He throws out a challenge to the Von Erichs, then talks about how the Mongol is insulted that "a certain individual" has an offensive "hair design". Only the elite Mongol warriors are allowed to have such hair designs. Akbar concludes by holding up an hourglass and proclaiming that time is running out. Kinda' cool how they basically challenged everybody in World Class, but the "hair design challenge" was like Minnie Mouse on a drunken rampage; fuckin' Goofy.

Match 2: The Mongol (w/Skandar Akbar) vs. Mike Reed
More squashin' as Mongol tosses Reed all over the ring. Reed is a bit better at selling, this week. Mongol slams him into the turnbuckle then chokes him on the ropes while the crowd chants "Go Mike, Go". Reed fights back with some forearm shots, but gets his head taken off by a Mongol clothesline. Mongol applies a swining neckbreaker, but Akbar orders him to pull the man up a 2 count. Mongol executes a side backbreaker, but once again is ordered to pull up at 2. Finally, Mongol plants him with a running powerslam, which scores the elementary 3 count.

A Very Special Interview with Referee David Manning and the Penalty Box
Mercer postulates: what's the toughest hold to break in wrestling? Why, the Penalty Box! Manning is in the Box-- a small shark cage-- to tell us all about the stipulations of tonight's 6-man main event. Whenever a member of a team violates a rule, they'll be sent to the Penalty Box. First violation is 1 minute, each ensuing violation gets 2 minutes. A team can have up to 2 men in the cage at one time.. but if all 3 are in, the team will have to forfeit. Manning playfully asks to be let out of the cage as the segment ends.

Match 3: 6-Man Penalty Box Tag Team Action:
Michael Hayes, Terry Gordy & Buddy Roberts vs. Chavo Guerrero, Kerry Von Erich & "Iceman" King Parsons

The 'Birds are wearing baby--blue and white ring robes. Think of them as "Ric Flair Lite" robes. As they're introduced, we can see a local hayseed in a cowboy hat in the front row...picking his nose like there's no tomorrow. In case you didn't know: we're in Texas.

Match kicks off with Chavo and Hayes testing each other. Hayes struts after a hip-toss, so you know Chavo's going to fire right back with a flying bodypress and a series of dropkicks to send him reeling. Chavo tags Kerry and Hayes immediately sprints to his corner and tags out. So Kerry cranks away on Buddy Roberts' arm and works the shoulder. Roberts gets a kneelift and tags in Gordy for some brawlin'. Kerry gets the upper hand and tosses Gordy back and forth between the turnbuckles, four times. Chavo comes back in to trade shoulderblocks with the big guy. Tag off to Roberts and Iceman for some stiff choppin'. Iceman delivers a headbutt to the tummy and a slam to get a quick 1 count. Kerry comes in for a flying elbowdrop, then forces Roberts to tag Hayes!

Hayes gets a cheap shot to the throat and drops a knee for a quick 1 count. Gordy gets in a few shots on Kerry, so he becomes the first man sent to the penalty box. Hayes and Roberts work on Kerry, but Hayes gets some illegal blows and joins Gordy in the box. Kerry fights back and brings in Iceman for a double-team dropkick and tummy headbutt on Roberts. Iceman misses a press and hits Roberts' knees. Gordy returns from the box to deliver an atomic drop and a backdrop for 2. Hayes returns and rubs Iceman's face into the mat, which is enough to start up a "Go King, Go" chant. Iceman makes the hot tag to Chavo who delivers a flying head-scissors on Gordy and works the arm. Kerry gets an illegal shot on Gordy and is sent to the babyface penalty box.

Iceman and Roberts get sent to the box for illegal interference, while Hayes works on Chavo with a swinging neckbreaker and an elbowdrop for 2. Gordy comes in for an atomic drop, but Chavo thens somersaults to friendly territory and tags in Kerry. Short-lived excitment, as Gordy nails Kerry int he head, then whips him to Roberts for an elbowsmash and a quick cover. Roberts with a backbreaker and the 'Birds work over Kerry. Gordy hits a Somoan drop that's almost a Death Valley Driver (!) for 2. Iceman gets the hot tag to clear the ring and it's suddenly boogie time! Gordy ends that with a suplex for 2. Roberts off the second rope for another 2 count. Gordy picks up Iceman to deliver a slam, but Ice rolls through and hooks Gordy to steal the pin out of nowhere!

After the match, the Freebird Beatdown is on, as they pound Kerry with a spike piledriver. Chavo gets out of the penalty box and clears the ring, but the damage has been done. Great tag-team action as the match never seemed to slow down and the gimmick wasn't bastardized. After a final break, Bill Mercer wraps up the show and pumps up next week's card. Cue the DRUMS!

Why'd You Tape This??
Probably the most exciting main event they've delivered in awhile. You also get some build-up for Devastation, Inc. and the burial of Arman Hussein is almost final. The squash match against Reed and the promo from "The Man" were included to reiterate that Devastation are heels. With the heel-vs-heel program almost over, they're finally looking to eat up the babyfaces of World Class. It's amazing how the majority of the promotion's roster has been re-shuffled (and improved) in less than six months. We're right in the thick of things now. Pretty exciting stuff...makes me wanna' pick my nose.

Boom-da-da-da-boom, da-da-da-boom, da-da-da-boom

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