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TNA: Final Resolution
by Samoa Rowe
December 20, 2009
-From Orlando, FL. Our hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure this is the last TNA pay-per-view to feature the six-sided ring (aside from Destination X special events). This is also the last big TNA show before Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff took over, so it’s kind of the end of an era.
TNA Tag Team Championship:
The British Invasion © (Brutus Magnus and Douglas Williams) vs. The Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley)
Both teams make quick tags in the early going and exchange holds and reversals. Shelley flies into a Magnus Bear Hug, but counters the suplex. The MCMG’s overwhelm Magnus. The British Invasion get dumped over the ropes to set up stereo dives from the Machine Guns. Magnus drop toe holds Shelley into position for a hard Williams kick, and the British Invasion manage to cut the ring in half. Magnus is still really green at this point, but Williams and Shelley work overtime to make him look good. Sabin gets the hot tag and explodes with rapid fire offense. Tornado DDT on Williams gets a painful near fall for Sabin. Leg sweep to Magnus, and Shelley nails a flying thrust kick. Shelley dumps Williams and pulls the ropes so Sabin can nail a suicide dive through his legs! Sliced Bread #2 by Shelley only gets 2 on Magnus! The crowd is buying all of these false finishes! The Brits recover with desperate power moves that leaves everyone down. Magnus inadvertently kicks Williams off the apron, leaving him vulnerable. The MCMG’s overwhelm Magnus with quick double team attacks, but they still can’t put him away! They fight off Williams, and nails a neck breaker/missile drop-kick combo on Magnus for ONLY 2! Williams helps Magnus dish out an electric chair clothesline/power bomb combo for the win at 11:44. This was a HOT opener that got the show off on the right note, ***.
Winners and still TNA Tag Team Champions: The British Invasion
TNA Knockouts Championship:
ODB © vs. Tara
ODB stalls before the opening bell and tries to cheap shot Tara after tossing the belt at the ref. Tara fights off ODB, applying the Tarantula and a slingshot leg drop. ODB reverses the momentum by thrusting Tara into the turnbuckles. Tara absorbs a load of punishment (including a shoulder breaker) before making the heroic baby face comeback. Tara nails a modified flapjack and a snap suplex. Standing moonsault by Tara only gets 2. Tara blocks a power bomb and counters with a roll-up for the win and the title at 5:40. These women know how to work and put on a good show in the short time they had, **.
Winner and new TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara
-Christy Hemme interviews Tara, who gets overwhelmed with emotion. Tara came to TNA to become Knockouts Champion!
Feast or Fired:
Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Cody Deaner vs. Bobby Roode vs. James Storm vs. Eric Young vs. Homicide vs. Rob Terry vs. Kiyoshi vs. Kevin Nash vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Samoa Joe
There are four briefcases hanging from poles around the ring. Each briefcase either has a championship match contract or a pink slip. This stipulation is another goofy Vince Russo creation, but it popped a rating on Impact this past week, so what do I know. Half the participants are members of Eric Young’s “World Elite” stable and they have some random blond valet who the announcers expect me to know. As you might expect, the match is a complete clusterf*ck with everybody brawling with everybody. Deaner and Bashir fight over a case, which fumbles to ringside. Bashir clocks Deaner with the case to claim it as his own. Rob Terry meanwhile grabs a case for himself, even though World Elite members were supposedly instructed not to do so. Beer Money get a chance to shine in the ring (in the first remotely entertaining portion of the match). Despite this, Nash gets a case and becomes the second World Elite member to break rank. With one case remaining, the ring fills with wrestlers hitting rapid fire finishers. Everyone but Deaner is down, but Joe nails him with an enziguri to claim the final case at 9:18. Thank you, Joe! This was such a terrible concept and it was poorly executed to boot. Joe and Beer Money elevate this to a whopping *.
Winners: Sheik Abdul Bashir, Rob Terry, Kevin Nash, and Samoa Joe
-Christy Hemme interviews TNA World Champion AJ Styles and Kurt Angle backstage. Angle runs down Desmond Wolfe and promises to move on to unfinished business (AJ). Styles acts like a petulant brat and basically says the same thing Kurt did.
-The Feast or Fired winners gather on the stage to open their cases. Jeremy Borash hosts the festivities with the random blond valet and So Cal Val. Nash’s case has a Tag Team Championship contract, so his job is secure! Joe’s case has a World title shot (the crowd likes that)! Terry and Bashir open their cases together and the pink slip goes to Bashir! Have I mentioned yet how dumb it is to fire someone simply for grabbing the wrong briefcase? And why do any TNA stars agree to be in such a match, it’s not like title match opportunities are IMPOSSIBLE to gain otherwise!
8 Man Tag Team Elimination Match:
Team 3D, Jesse Neal, and Rhino vs. Matt Morgan, Hernandez, Suicide, and Pope D’Angelo Dinero
There’s a wacky stipulation that states Hernandez has to wrestle alone for the first five minutes. As Vince Russo would say, “Why not?” They start off with the handicap match scenario with Hernandez succumbing to the numbers game and taking a beating. Rhino is the only one who seems interested in actually pinning Hernandez before the 5 minutes are up. Hernandez side steps the GORE and pins Rhino at 4:00. Jesse grabs a chair but just stands there as the five minutes expire and the baby face cavalry rushes the ring. The bad guys retreat, setting themselves up for a running dive from Hernandez. Suicide nails a springboard leg drop on Neal for 2. Neal connects with a chair shot to Suicide but there’s no DQ! Hernandez cracks the chair over Neal’s head and NOW the referee decides to call for a disqualification. Hernandez is gone at 8:20. Team 3D put Suicide down with the 3D for the pin at 8:50. Taz and Tenay inform us that Neal has indeed been disqualified. Dinero gets some time to shine before also taking the 3D for the elimination at 11:02. Morgan is alone against Team 3D! For some reason, the referee is allowing both Devon and Bubba to be in the ring at the same time. Morgan takes some punishment before making a comeback. Morgan pins Devon at 14:34 with a big boot. Almost every pinfall in this match has been botched by the referee. Bubba scores a DDT for only 2 and grabs a chair. Morgan kicks the chair into Ray’s face for the win at 16:19. This was painful to watch, with all the sloppy spots, confusing pinfalls, vague rules, and endless boring action, *.
Winner: Matt Morgan
Last Man Standing:
Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley (with Kristal)
Kristal escorts her husband to the ring but takes off before the opening bell. Steiner chases her to the ramp but Lashley makes the save to ignite the brawl around ringside. Back to the ring, Lashley surprises with a T-bone suplex. Lashley applies a dragon sleeper until Scott seemingly passes out. Steiner stands, only to get clotheslined over the ropes. Steiner is limping as they trade weapon shots. The match comes to a screeching halt as Lashley repeatedly almost gets counted out. Steiner DDTs Lashley off the turnbuckles and nails a suplex but Lashley continually (slowly) stands. Lashley counters with an overhead belly to belly suplex and Scott gets right up. Lashley delivers a Jackhammer but Scott gets up to lunge into a low blow. Steiner wobbles into position for a SWEET Frankensteiner! This match just got awesome. Steiner gets his lead pipe, but Kristal runs in and takes it from him! Lashley nails a spear and drives the pipe into Scott’s forehead. Steiner is counted out at 9:12. Take away the Frankensteiner and this was a whole lot of nothing, *˝.
Winner: Bobby Lashley
Foley‘s Funhouse Rules Match:
Raven and Dr. Stevie vs. Mick Foley and Abyss
Looks like this is going to be a Tornado match, as all four men duke it out. Raven and Stevie lose their weapons and suffer Foley’s patented running knee to the face. Foley and Raven brawl to the backstage area, leaving Abyss and Stevie to square off in the ring. Abyss sets up a table in front of the stage and chases Stevie into the broadcast area. Abyss prepares a power bomb off the stage when Raven attacks with a kendo stick. Foley is missing as Raven and Stevie double team Abyss, targeting the third degree burn on his leg from a previous attack. Raven finds a gasoline container when Foley rushes back in with a shopping cart full of weapons. Foley cleans house with a barbed wire bat. Piledriver on Raven, DDT on Stevie! Abyss splashes both men as Foley puts on a sock. Raven throws powder into Foley’s face. Abyss saves with a Shock Treatment/Leg Drop combo! Abyss and Foley both have socks for stereo Mandible Claws! Raven hits the DDT on Abyss while Foley wraps Stevie in barbed wire and places him on the table. Foley leaps off the ramp to put Stevie through the table with an elbow drop! Daffney runs in and ineffectively swings a chair at Abyss. Raven saves her but takes the Black Hole Slam for the loss at 9:29. This match is what I like to call “entertaining crap.” **
Winners: Mick Foley and Abyss
-Jeremy Borash interviews Samoa Joe backstage. Joe says he did exactly what he said he would do: walk out of Final Resolution with a TNA title shot! Joe plans on using the briefcase like Money in the Bank and surprising AJ Styles at some point. I don’t remember this angle going anywhere.
3 Degrees of Pain:
Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe
The match is being held inside a steel cage. The first fall is pinfalls only, second fall is submissions only, and the third fall is escape the cage. In a silly touch, the cage is forbidden from being used as a weapon until the final fall (TNA can’t easily lower the cage over the ring when needed like WWE can). The match starts with some scientific back and forth wrestling. They put on quite a clinic as Wolfe subtly takes control. Angle manages to throw a suplex and power bombs Wolfe into the turnbuckles! Wolfe blocks a sunset flip and goes back to work on the arm. Angle comes back with a suplex, but Wolfe responds with a hammerlock DDT. Cue the rolling German suplexes from Kurt! Angle climbs the ropes but gets caught with the Tower of London for 2! Angle counters a second Tower and plants Wolfe for a near fall. Angle misses the moonsault, allowing the lariat from Wolfe. The Tower of London wins the first fall for Wolfe at 12:37. The second fall kicks off with Wolfe going after the arm, but Angle reverses into a Figure Four! Wolfe gets the ropes and rolls into an arm scissor. They reverse back and forth between the ankle lock and a variety of arm submissions. Wolfe steals the ankle lock, prompting Angle to apply a modified triangle choke. Angle reverses back into the ankle lock and Wolfe finally taps at 19:53! The final fall begins with a sense of urgency. Angle nails the Olympic Slam and tries to escape, but Wolfe scores a superplex. They fight on the ropes again, with Angle tossing Wolfe in sickening fashion! Desmond has been busted open as Angle nails a clothesline. Wolfe counters a Frog Splash and seems to hurt his leg in the process. Wolfe crawls for the exit and slams the door in Angle’s face. Kurt pulls Desmond back in and reapplies the ankle lock! Wolfe passes out from the pain, allowing Angle a safe climb over the cage wall. Wolfe wakes and goes for the door, but Kurt’s feet hit the floor at 26:09! This was one of Angle’s best matches in TNA, if not his very best. ****˝.
Winner: Kurt Angle
-Jeremy Borash interviews Mick Foley backstage. Foley is glad to have won tonight, but turns his attention to the pending arrival of Hulk Hogan. Foley will be demanding answers from Hogan on the first Impact of the new year.
TNA World Championship:
AJ Styles © vs. Christopher Daniels
The match starts off with some good sportsmanlike action. Styles tries to run the ropes, but Daniels rolls into a takedown position! AJ quickens the pace, catching Daniels with his patented drop-kick. AJ shows off his ruthless side as he takes control of the match. Styles connects with a flip dive over the ropes. Styles nails a discus clothesline but Daniels comes back with a monkey flip into the turnbuckles. Daniels clotheslines AJ on the apron, who then takes an unplanned tumble onto his head on the concrete floor. The referee takes a chair from Daniels, and completely misses seeing him slam AJ through a standing chair. Back to the ring, Daniels nails a side slam for a near fall. Daniels continues targeting the freshly injured back of AJ (including a nasty drop onto the turnbuckles). AJ comes back with a hammerlock suplex! Daniels goes for a hurricanrana to the floor, but Styles counters with a power bomb onto the concrete! AJ shows some fire, hitting a backbreaker onto the knee. Springboard inverted DDT by AJ gets 2. Daniels crotches AJ on the ropes and suplexes him for 2. Daniels palm thrusts AJ on the top rope and nails a hurricanrana! AJ shakes off a Shining Wizard and delivers a Brainbuster (which won’t help the sick knot on Daniels’ forehead). Styles builds momentum, but the Clash is blocked. Daniels thumbs the eyes to deliver the uranage and BME! AJ comes back with the Styles Clash but Daniels kicks out! Styles counters a Frankensteiner with a Styles Clash off the ropes for the win at 20:57! This was the type of hard-hitting, athletic, difference making main event that TNA could be delivering on a regular basis if they wanted to, but usually opt not to. ****
Winner and still TNA World Champion: AJ Styles
Final Thoughts: Back to back ****+ matches help me forget how miserable some of the undercard contests were. As a swan song for the pre-Hogan era of TNA, this is worth seeing. Thumbs up for the opener and main events.
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