UWF Fury Hour - October 15, 1990
by Scrooge McSuck
- Televised on SportsChannel America, still from the taping that took place on September 24th, 1990 from the Reseda Country Club in Reseda, CA. Iíll keep listing the unofficial broadcast dates as long as I can before things start to fall apart by the Summer of 1991. Herb Abrams and Bruno Sammartino are still sitting in front of an obvious green screen, pretending to be there live (despite being taped two weeks ago). Last week on the Fury Hour, Col. DeBeers made it clear he isnít fond of African-Americans, Dan Spivey still hates Brian Blair for acting like an insect, we "observed" Cactus Jack demolishing Davey Meltzer, and we are anxiously anticipating the upcoming battle between Dr. Death and Mr. Wonderful.
- What to expect this week on the Fury Hour... "Dangerous" Dan Spivey, Chief Jay Strongbow (Junior), Col. DeBeers, The Black Knight, "Killer Bee" B. Brian Blair, Billy Jack Haynes, the feature match of Paul Orndorff vs. Steve Williams, and another edition of Captain Louís Corner. 1.) They are seriously not advertising Strongbow as Junior, as if anyone would even know who Strongbow is in 1990 for such blatant false advertisement, and 2.) Are they seriously saying the BLACK KNIGHT is a featured talent?! I know you only have so much to work with, but damn, Daniel...
"Dangerous" Dan Spivey vs. Michael Allen:
I wonder if Spivey will squash his opponent in about a minute like he did last week. Spivey shrugs off a pair of shoulder tackle attempts and easily throws Allen around with an over-head slam. Whip to the ropes and Spivey with a side slam, and guess what, he pulls him up at the two count. Get used to it, wrestling fans! Spivey with a modified suplex for another unwanted count attempt. He plants Allen with the Powerbomb and picks him up again. Brian Blair runs in, steel chair in hand, and whacks Spivey with it to draw the Disqualification at 1:38. Thatís how you give somebody a headache, pal. Iím worried that we wonít see a conclusion to Blair vs. Spivey since this is the last week of tapings from this particular date, and you never know who Abrams stiffed on pay.
Chief Jay Strongbow vs. Houdini:
Iím not kidding, Abrams is pushing this as the REAL Jay Strongbow. Houdini attacks from behind with some pathetic looking elbows that even Bruno is making fun of. This might be the worst sequence of offense Iíve ever seen. Houdini throws him to the floor as we continue the asinine commentary of pretending weíre seeing the original Chief. With Houdini dominating, maybe this is more "clever" digs at someone Abrams doesnít like. Maybe Chief Jay Strongbow snubbed him or told him to screw his mother, and this is his payback. "Strongbow" makes a comeback, wrapping the legs of Houdini around the post. Back in the ring, and he does an AWFUL impression of the War Dance and throws pathetic knee lifts. "Strongbow" with a suplex and a sleeper hold thankfully ends it at 4:22. -*** I donít usually rate squashes, but this was beyond terrible, with the terrible work of "Strongbow", even worse work from Houdini, and the insulting of everyoneís intelligence by pushing this bum as the real deal. I swear, if I have to watch another "Strongbow" match, Iím just hitting the fast-forward button.
David Sammartino vs. Col. DeBeers:
Anyone else find it funny that Sammartino gets to work competitive matches but isnít advertised as the feature match? DeBeers again has issues with the Afrrican-American referee, claiming bias and demanding a new referee who happens to be not-black. Unlike last week, the referee simply known as Larry, remains in his role of referee. Sammartino with a back slide at the bell and Larry with a fast two count! School boy and another quick two count. Another back slide for a two count. DeBeers with a rake of the eyes and a slam. DeBeers puts the boots to Sammartino and slams him face-first with a modified bulldog for a two count. Sammartino mounts a comeback and DeBeers does some comedy bumping. Whip to the ropes and a sunset flip gets a two count. Sammartino with a slam, but the legs of DeBeers accidentally knocks down the referee. DeBeers shoves Sammartino to floor and puts the boots to Larry. Might as well call it a No Contest at 3:30 as Sammartino chases DeBeers out of the ring. *1/4 Slightly better than last weekís feature, and Iím always a fan of moving forward with a storyline. You basically take what you can get with the UWF.
The Black Knight vs. Davey Meltzer:
Hopefully this is the end of the Davey Meltzer character. Maybe he can retire and go write for some reputable wrestling newspaper or something. Jobbing to Dr. Death and Cactus Jack is one thing, but a masked jobber? COME ON... Lockup and Meltzer with an arm drag into an arm-bar. Knight counters with an arm drag and scratches his back. Black Knight with a gut-wrench suplex, followed by a double under-hook suplex. Whip to the ropes and the Knight with a sawft back elbow. We hit the chin-lock, because squash matches need rest-holds. Whip to the ropes and he connects with a clothesline. Black Knight with another suplex. Meltzer teases a comeback, but casually walks into a boot. Knight with the DDT and this turd continues. He drops a knee across the back of the neck and still wonít cover. The Knight with a slam, but he misses an elbow. Meltzer with an awful elbow drop (called "very good" by Bruno). He goes to the top rope and gets slammed off. Black Knight with a sloppy side slam that would make Dino Bravo bury his face in his hands, and it finally ends at 6:41. Maybe Abrams wanted this to go long for a final embarrassment to the name of Dave Meltzer? -** Again, I donít usually rate squashes, but this was awful, too. I think "Chief Jay Strongbow" vs. Davey Meltzer could break the record for worst professional wrestling match ever featured on TV if it were to take place.
"Killer Bee" B. Brian Blair vs. Riki Ataki:
Odds that we see more interference from Danny Spivey? Iím setting the betting odds at 3:1. Maybe Abrams can make another Pearl Harbor joke in relation to Ataki. Lockup and they trade waist-locks until Ataki makes it to the ropes. Blair with a headlock into a roll up for a two count. They spend WAY too much time talking about where Ataki is or isnít from. Blair with a firemanís carry into an arm-bar. Ataki with an elbow to escape, but is surprised with a clothesline, taking a big bump to the arena floor. It looks like the floor isnít exactly leveled properly. Blair brings him back in with a suplex and drops a knee across the forehead. Whip to the ropes and Blair with a back drop. Ataki goes to the eyes and connects with an inverted atomic drop. Blair comes back with boots and connects with a hooking clothesline. Whip to the ropes and Blair with a Powerslam. He slaps on the awful Sharpshooter and itís over at 4:21. And you thought the Rockís version was bad? Iím surprised we didnít see a run-in from Spivey.
- Captain Louís Corner, with this weekís special guest... "Cowboy" Bob Orton Jr. Lou knows all about him and his family... do you think he knows about his son, Randall? Orton rambles before getting to the point of the segment, name dropping Brian Blair, Paul Orndorff, and NIKITA KOLOFF. Based on the segment, youíd think Orton was told he was only paid for 4-minutes of work without prior notice of what the hell he had to say. Will we see Bob Orton or Nikita Koloff in action in the coming weeks?
Billy Jack Haynes vs. Larry Ludden:
Iím surprised Haynes isnít already sucking wind after such an exhausting performance against DeBeers earlier in the taping. Haynes picks the leg for the hell of it. Drop toe hold into a headlock. Whip to the ropes and Haynes with a back drop. He plants Ludden with a slam and comes off the ropes with a leg drop. Haynes with a chinlock and an elbow... for three at 1:57?! Well, they somehow botched that ending. Haynes shakes Luddenís hand because heís a nice guy.
"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams:
The WWF and WCW wishes they could have a Main Event this spectacular. Thereís literally dozens of people on their feet, excited for such an epic clash. In case you missed it, two weeks ago these two got into a bit of a shouting match for whatever reasons. They didnít really explain it, but weíre getting a match between the two. Williams tears up an Orndorff t-shirt (that BASTARD!) and pounds away on him in the corner. Whip to the corner and Williams misses a charge. Orndorff with a school boy for a two count. Whip to the ropes and Orndorff with a sunset flip for two. Williams with a shoulder tackle to take control. He drives a series of elbows across the knee. Orndorff battles back with rights and elbows. He comes charging out of the corner with a clothesline, but misses a knee drop. Orndorff meets boot on a charge and Williams covers for two. He slaps on the abdominal stretch, and surprisingly doesnít hook the ropes for leverage. Orndorff with mounted punches until Williams deliberately goes low on him in full view of the referee. Williams with forearms to the back and a bear-hug. Orndorff escapes with an ear smack and kicks Williams in the balls, also in full view of the referee. They take it to the floor, and if you donít know the finish, you shouldnít be reading this. Itís a Double Count-Out at 7:30. The action continues, with Williams trying to decapitate Orndorff with a chair-shot against the post. *3/4 OK action except for the blatant rule breaking and inconclusive finish. As if anyone was expecting this to have a clean finish...
Next Week: Bob Orton Jr. vs. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff, and a new batch of tapings, so who knows what new UWF Stars we will see (or not see, depending on paycheck clearance).
Final Thoughts: Iím not going to lie, this was a hard episode to get through. Williams vs. Orndorff under-delivered, but there wasnít much hope beyond a decent match to begin with. Theyíre furthering the nonsense of Col. DeBeers and his white supremacy act. The bottom line comes down to two incredibly poor squash matches. One with a masked jobber taking 7-minutes to defeat the Dave Meltzer knockoff, and the other, a poor attempt at trying to fool fans by having an imposter Chief Jay Strongbow show up and stink up the ring. On the "plus" side, we are expecting appearances of Bob Orton and Nikita Koloff, so thatís something to look forward to.
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