-The show kicks off with the Boarder Patrol coming to the ring for an interview. Oliver John talks about the Mexican and Canadian “trash” that crosses the border to ruin his great country. He runs down Blue Demon Jr. as a cheater. If the USA keeps going down this path, we’ll become the United States of Mexico and accuses members of the crowd of being illegal immigrants. John issues an open challenge since they are apparently untouchable. The challenge is answered by The Shooter Brent Albright.
Brent Albright vs. Nathan Rulez (with Oliver John and Derrick Sanders)
Rulez connects with some arm drags in the early going. Body slam by Rulez. Headlock by Rulez and a shoulder block. Hip toss and arm drags by Albright. Body slam and drop-kick by Albright sends Rulez to ringside. Drop toe hold by Albright sets up a headlock. Double underhook butterfly by Albright gets a cover attempt. Albright hangs onto the arm until Rulez rakes the eyes. Rulez chokes in the ropes, with Sanders getting a cheap shot as well. Albright bounces out of a whip with a clothesline. Suplex by Albright gets 2. Hard whip by Albright, but Rulez boots the face. Rope assisted bulldog by Rulez, who chokes. Oliver John chokes while the referee lectures Rulez. Catapult into the ropes by Rulez. Chinlock by Rulez but Albright quickly fights out, but runs into a knee lift. Albright is tossed to ringside, where the Boarder Patrol beat him down behind the ref’s back. Albright is tossed back in for a near fall. More chinlock goodness from Rulez. Albright escapes but misses a cross body. Cover by Rulez gets 2. Guillotine is locked in by Rulez. Albright rebounds with a reverse Neckbreaker. Albright jabs and winds up a big right hand shot. Overhead suplex by Albright and a T-bone suplex only gets 2. Sanders distracts while John gets on the apron. Albright dispatches John and makes Rulez tap out. The ref misses, so Albright tosses Sanders in the ring and ends up fighting off all three Boarder Patrol members. The ref calls for the bell at 10:44. The match was too long and dull for that finish, *. No contest.
-A video package airs for The Best of CM Punk DVD. It looks to be his work from Full Impact Pro.
-The Skullcrushers remain in the ring to gloat on the microphone. They call out the Young Bucks. A group of referees try to stop the Young Bucks from entering the ring, and the Skullcrushers capitalize by attacking the Bucks. The Young Bucks back into the ring and the Skullcrushers opt not to continue the assault.
Fidel Fernandez and Johnny Yuma vs. Muscle Gang
Muscle Gang is actually one big guy, not a tag team like I thought he was. Muscle Gang tosses a chair into the crowd. He’s from the mean streets of Japan, says the announcers. Yuma and Fernandez attack together but get dropped with a double clothesline. Muscle Gang destroys both guys with power moves. The jobbers mount some offense in the form of drop-kicks, but Muscle Gang powers back. Fernandez hits a desperate flurry of strikes, but they are all no-sold. Muscle Gang gets himself disqualified at 2:38 for tossing Yuma over the ropes. Color me unimpressed, DUD. Winners by DQ: Fidel Fernandez and Johnny Yuma
Brent Albright vs. Derrick Sanders (with Oliver John and Nathan Rulez)
Sanders stalls at first, claiming he’s “not ready.” He raises a good point. Anyhow, the match finally starts with a test of strength. Side note, I’m amused that there is an obese woman in the front row who is playing with a PSP and not paying the slightest bit of attention to the match. Sanders cheap shots during another knuckle lock, sparking a flurry of offense from Albright. Sanders retreats to ringside, and Albright wipes out all three Boarder Patrol members with a flying plancha. Back to the ring, Sanders gets a clothesline for 2. Chinlock by Sanders. Albright fights out but Sanders pokes the eyes and goes back to the very entertaining chinlock. Albright escapes by smashing Sanders into the corner. Albright connects with a series of chops but gets caught with a hard Irish whip. Rulez chokes Albright behind the ref’s back. Scoop slam by Sanders gets 2. Another chinlock by Sanders. Albright escapes and nails a back suplex. Albright goes on a suplexing spree and has a cover, but Rulez distracts the referee. Sanders accidentally knocks Oliver off the apron and gets caught in a crowbar submission. Just like earlier, the Boarder Patrol storm the ring and Albright has to fight them off. The match is thrown out at 7:29. Whoa, this was just like the opener, except even more dull somehow, ¾*. No contest.
-Albright takes the mic and accuses Oliver John of not having any balls. Albright challenges John to a match for next week.
Final Thoughts: This was a truly painful episode to sit through. The wrestling was a complete wash, as you can tell from the star ratings. The only interesting development is the build to the brewing Skullcrushers/Young Bucks feud. I really hope this show can turn itself around because I am quickly losing interest.
Comment about this article on Da' Wrestling Boards!