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Monday, September 25th 2017.
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AWF Warriors of Wrestling; Episode 9

by Scrooge McSuck

- Last week on the AWF Warriors of Wrestling, Tito Santana was crowned the first ever AWF Heavyweight Champion, defeating Bob Orton Jr. in the Tournament Finals. Ken Resnick is standing by with the new AWF World Chamopion, in front of the typically bad green-screen effect. It was Tito Santana's boyhood dream of becoming the World Champion, and it's finally come true.

Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie) vs. Trevor Blanchard:

Hey, old Trevor Blanchard is back. I think I already made my comment how he looks like a second rate version of a man with a similar sounding name. Koko is still using the WWF Theme Music Blanchard attacks from behind and clubbers away. Irish whip, and Koko with a diving forearm, followed by a headbutt. Irish whip, and Koko with a back drop. Koko gets the crowd into doing the bird, then goes to work on the arm. Mick Karch even takes a shot at the Blanchard Connection. Irish whip, and Koko with a back elbow, and some mild air humping. Koko sneaks up from behind and takes Blanchard down with a back suplex. Ware with a scoop slam, and the missile dropkick soon follows. Koko picks him up, and nails the "Ghostbuster", or a brain buster in a more accurate name, for the three count at 2:53. I never understood why it was called the Ghostbuster... I guess it sounds less violent for a babyface than calling it a BRAIN Buster.

- Ken Resnick is standing by with the newest member of the AWF Broadcast Team... Chris E... get it, she's a woman, and it sounds like Chrissie? I'm pretty sure Resnick was not on these shows towards the end.

Michael P.S. Hayes vs. Danny Boy Hawkins:

I'm wondering when this was taped, since Hayes was in the WWF by May of 1995, and with much shorter hair. He's using Badstreet, U.S.A., but I think he owns that song, so it's coool. Hayes always seems energetic, even though as a wrestler, at least towards the end, he was pretty hard to watch without crying for a fast forward button. Terry Taylor notes Bill Alfonso is the referee for this match. Lockup and Hayes with a shove. Hercules, Hughes, and Sheik Alkahassie are in Warrior's Corner. Hawkins with a side headlock, but a shoulder block goes Hayes' way. Hayes pounds away on Hawkins as Taylor takes a not-so-subtle shot at Hayes' weight gain. Hayes with choking, followed by a jumping elbow drop. Hayes with trash talking in-between beatings. Hawkins escapes with elbows, but gets laid out with a left hook. Hayes sits across the chest of Hawkins, and gets the three count at 3:36... really? Ripping off Johnny B. Badd's lame finisher (the Kiss That Don't Miss)? Boring squash.

- Ken Resnick is back, with Michael Hayes, and he's still pissed off at not being included in the Championship Tournament, calling out President Paul Alperstein for making it easy for Tito Santana. Hayes make threats about bringing in the troops, but that just seems like a sick tease. At least he seemed to have a fire in his belly, unlike practically all the other interviews.

The Texas Hangmen vs. Eric Freedom & Butler Stevens:

It's been a while since we've seen a Tag Team Match. It would definitely change things up. Terry Taylor does a lame imitation of Terry Funk, and I only know that because Karch actually calls him "Terry Funk." For all I knew, he was doing an even worse imitation of Pat Buttram. Killer brings Stevens to the corner and pounds away. Psycho tags in and does more of the same. suddenly, Johnny Gunn and a roided up Jim Powers talk about being the top team in the AWF. Psycho rams himself into the post, but practically no-sells it. Psycho with a slam, and Killer takes him over with a back suplex. Freedom tags in and gets a bit of offense in, but charges into a boot and gets laid out with a clothesline. Irish whip, and Killer connects with a big boot. The canned heat is pretty obvious right now. Killer with a lazy belly-to-belly suplex, with barely any rotation on the move. Stevens tags back in, gets a few shots in, and gets trapped in the heel corner. Double-team powerbomb from the Hangmen, followed by the Rude Awakening, and it's finally over at 3:51 of the first round. I hope the AWF has a better "top" babyface team than Jim Powers and the other guy.

- Chris E. is standing by with newcomer, the Z-Man... Tom ZINK. Way to incorrectly spell someone's name on the graphics. I'm pretty sure the Z-Man name was a monicker created by World Championship Wrestling, but AWF is already ripping off the WWF for theme music and characters, so why not start ripping off WCW?

Mr. USA Tony Atlas vs. Hawkeye Cody Hunter:

Did Tony Atlas rip off the Sandman's travel bag? He's traded in his black sweat pants for American flag designed pants. Lockup, and Atlas takes Hunter over with a pair of arm drags, then plants him with a scoop slam. Whip to the corner, and Atlas takes him over with a back drop. Atlas with a headbutt, followed by a press slam. atlas comes off the ropes with a splash, and it's all over just like that at 1:30. Finally, a Tony Atlas match that wasn't a complete bomb. Give him 90-seconds, tell him to bring it home, and give him a sandwich before he goes back to the park bench.

- Ken Resnick is standing by witH Tony Atlas, who has issues with Nails, for whatever reason. Do I need to re-read the previous episodes and find out what the hell is going on? And could you imagine Nailz vs. Saba Simba? How AWFUL can that match be? Worse than Tony Atlas vs. Tommy Rich, perhaps? Why am I asking so many questions?

Greg Valentine & Tommy Rich (w/ Rico Suave) vs. Pretty Boy Floyd & Firefighter Jim:

Firefighter Jim sounds like one of those lame themed sets of the TMNT Action Figures, when the Turtles would dress up as different characters, like Raphael as an Astronaut, or Leonardo as Dracula. Instead of a combined weight, they should've done a combined age for that heel team. Valentine was definitely in his 40's, and Rich seemed to be around forever, too, but maybe not quite as old. Floyd looks like he needs a sandwich. It's like a regular height version of Manute Bol. Rich with a front facelock, but he willingly releases and tags in the Hammer. Valentine with a drop toe hold, followed by an elbow to the knee. Taylor "accidentally" calls Jim "Firebreaker", but I'm sure that's not making fun of the WCW character named Firebreaker Chip. Rich with a snapmare, and hey, it's Chris Adams turn to talk about random crap. Firefighter Jim tags in, and I'm sure that's going to turn the tide. Valentine with a vicious knee to the back (GOOD!), followed by a double underhook suplex. Valentine with knees into the back, and this match is sadly going to go another round, as this one ends with Valentine connecting with a back breaker.

Round 2: Firefighter Jim gets worked over as we see President Paul Alperstein sitting among the crowd. Insert Hobo Joke Here. Rich works Jim over, but this match just won't end. Rich connects with a DDT, and Valentine tags in and slaps on the Figure-Four for the victory at 1:29 of Round 2. That was just a long, dull squash match. I know you want the heels to be ruthless and show some cocky behavior, but wrong team. They're just not exciting enough to sustain attention for it.

- Ken Resnick earns another $25, bringing in Rico Suave, and his men Greg Valentine and Tommy Rich. After a bit of research, and to answer my own question, I guess this batch of stuff was taped towards the end of 1994. but still wasn't broadcasted until months later. Oh, the interview was dull, too.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. T-Rex:

Terry Taylor with a second rate impersonation of Dusty Rhodes, but even bad ones are still kind of entertaining. Slaughter hands out little American flags to everyone that saved the wrapper to the sandwich they were given at the door. Lockup, and Tex rakes the eyes, then pounds away in the corner. Slaughter fights back, as Tommy Rich and Rico Suave return to the ring area. Whip to the corner, and Slaughter with choking? Irish whip, and Slaughter with a big clothesline with a huge follow-through. Slaughter with the Cobra Clutch for the victory at 1:24. Slaughter and Rich tease a fight until Rich decides to take a walk. Well, that was certainly pointless.

- Ken Resnick ends the day with a payoff of $150, ending the show with Sgt. Slaughter. He gives a verbal B.J. to Santana, on top of throwing comments at Tommy Rich for being a coward. Blech...

Final Thoughts: While it's easy to write off how horrible the matches would, the AWF is at least finally trying to establish some sort of programs, notably between Slaughter/Rich, Atlas/Nails, and the Santana/Orton Finale is not the last we would hear about them. They're also finally establishing a Tag Team Division, and again, the teams are random pairs for the most part, but it's another effort into trying to get something good. The wrestling stunk, but it was good development, I guess.

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